Rob Thomas: The Big Gay Chip on My Shoulder

[chell]

Not sure if you've seen this yet but I'm a huge fan of Rob's and thought some of you might be interested in seeing this. I'm proud to see Rob speak up about gay marriage and the fact that he doesn't care what everyone else thinks about his stand!

I am a straight man, with a big gay chip on my shoulder.

A while back on my Twitter page (yes, I know how ridiculous it sounds), I mentioned that, if I believed in the devil, Pat Robertson might be him.

Being a fairly liberal-leaning guy with either liberal friends or Republican and Christian friends who don't believe that being one has anything to do with the other, I was surprised at how many people took offense to what I had to say.

These people weren't friends of Mr. Robertson but friends, apparently, of God. They had "spoken" with him and he had assured them that he was no friend of the gays. He also told them that he loved America more than any other country and was a huge fan of Dancing With the Stars.

The small controversy or "Twitter-versy" (patent on phrase pending) all started when I had made the mistake of asking why two people of the same sex shouldn't be able to make the same life-long commitment and (more importantly) under the same god, as straight people. Why can't my gay friends be as happily married as my wife and I? It seemed simple to me, but let me start off by telling you a series of things that I believe to be true:

I am a person who believes that people are born gay. I don't think you have any control over what moves you or to whom you're attracted. That's why it's called an attraction and not a choice.

I believe that America is a great nation of even greater people. I also believe that anyone who says that this is a "Christian nation" has RHS, or revisionist history syndrome, and doesn't realize that most of our founding fathers were either atheist or at least could see, even in the 1700s, that all through Europe at the time, religion was the cause of so much persecution that they needed to put into their brand new constitution a SEPARATION OF CHURCH AND STATE so that the ideals of a group of people could never be forced onto the whole. (I also find it funny when people point out to me that it says "one nation under god" in our pledge of allegiance, not realizing that this was an addition made in 1954 during the communism scare of the McCarthy era. It's not surprising, however, knowing that these same people would punch me in the mouth if I called Jesus a Jew.)

I believe the fact that an atheist, who doesn't believe in God at all, is allowed to enter into the holy land of marriage while a gay Christian is not, shows that this law is arbitrary. Are we to believe that anyone who doesn't live their life according to the King James Bible isn't protected by the same laws that protect those who do? Using the same argument that I've seen on the 700 Club, that would mean that Jewish, Hindu, or Muslim weddings are also null and void.

I believe that to deny this right to the gay population is to say to them, "this god is not your god and he doesn't love you." There isn't one person who is against gay marriage that can give me a reason why it shouldn't be legal without bringing God or their religion into it. Still, I'm amazed at the audacity of a small, misdirected group of the ultra-conservative Christian right wing, to spend millions of dollars, in a recession, on advertisements to stop two men or women who love each other from being able to be married, but when you present any opposition to them, they accuse you of attacking their religion. Isn't it funny that the people who are the quickest to take someone's basic rights to happiness are always the loudest to scream when someone attacks their right to do so?

But this isn't a paper about religion. How could it be? Since we clearly have a separation of church and state, how could a conversation about laws have anything to do with religion at all? I'm writing about basic civil rights. We've been here before, fighting for the rights of African Americans or women to vote, or the rights of Jewish Americans to worship as they see fit. And, just as whites fought for African Americans or Christians for Jewish Americans, straight people must stand up and be a voice for gay people.

I've heard it said before, many times, that if two men or two women are allowed to join into a civil union together, why can't they be happy with that and why is it so important that they call it marriage? In essence, what's in a name?

A civil union has to do with death. It's essentially a document that gives you lower taxes and the right to let your faux spouse collect your insurance when you pass away. A marriage is about life. It's about a commitment. And this argument is about allowing people to have the right to make that commitment, even if it doesn't make sense to you. Anything else falls under the category of "separate but equal" and we know how that works out.

The support of legalizing gay marriage is in no way meant to change the ideals of the section of Christians who believe that homosexuality is a sin. But we should refuse to let other people's ideals shape the way we live our lives. Each of us has a short ride on this earth and as long as we stay in our lane, and don't affect someone else's ride, we should be allowed to drive as we see fit.

 

[ConcKahuna]

I love him <3

 

[jackskellingtonsgirl]

Good for him! I really enjoy his music, and it sounds like he is a good person, too!

 

[DVCajun]

Ah, what a good read.

 

[STOCKYJIM]

what a fantastic message - we are getting "married" in the UK in September - had to wait years for it to be legalised (then years to afford it!!!) even though its a civil partnership - its a marriage in the truest sense of the word!!

He makes great points - both my (straight) brother and I are getting married this year. He refused to get married in church because they wouldnt sanction our marriage - he just had a great "civil" ceremony which i was best man at - i honestly think that these ceremonies - which are created and celebrated by the individuals concerned - are more personal and mean more to those of us who choose them.

Marriage Rocks!!! however you celebrate it!!!

damn ive got to stay off the friday lunchtime booze - its making me emotional!!

hehehehehe

J xx

2 months to our big gay disneymoon

 

[jeanigor]

Here here!

 

[jenn&nelsonrego]

what a fantastic message - we are getting "married" in the UK in September - had to wait years for it to be legalised (then years to afford it!!!) even though its a civil partnership - its a marriage in the truest sense of the word!!

He makes great points - both my (straight) brother and I are getting married this year. He refused to get married in church because they wouldnt sanction our marriage - he just had a great "civil" ceremony which i was best man at - i honestly think that these ceremonies - which are created and celebrated by the individuals concerned - are more personal and mean more to those of us who choose them.

Marriage Rocks!!! however you celebrate it!!!

damn ive got to stay off the friday lunchtime booze - its making me emotional!!

hehehehehe

J xx

2 months to our big gay disneymoon

Congratulations!

It is very heartwarming to hear of your brothers stance. You must be very proud of him.

Not sure if you've seen this yet but I'm a huge fan of Rob's and thought some of you might be interested in seeing this. I'm proud to see Rob speak up about gay marriage and the fact that he doesn't care what everyone else thinks about his stand!

That was a great read!

 

[rpmdfw]

A civil union has to do with death. It's essentially a document that gives you lower taxes and the right to let your faux spouse collect your insurance when you pass away. A marriage is about life. It's about a commitment. And this argument is about allowing people to have the right to make that commitment, even if it doesn't make sense to you. Anything else falls under the category of "separate but equal" and we know how that works out.

OMG! That's brilliant! It's the best argument I've ever heard for why civil unions aren't the same as legal marriage. It's a great argument for full marriage equality, and one that I'm going to use!

 

[jenn&nelsonrego]

OMG! That's brilliant! It's the best argument I've ever heard for why civil unions aren't the same as legal marriage. It's a great argument for full marriage equality, and one that I'm going to use!

I really like that line too Rob and have plans to use it when someone mentions civil unions to me. The fact is that I am a straight girl with a gay chip on my shoulder... some people around me cannot understand why the subject means so much to me.

Until I got on this board... I knew one lesbian couple (they come to my church and had theirs sons baptised)... It is not something that "affects" me, people say... Of course it does, and I know that as well as you all do... but people are weird when it comes to what they are willing to stand up for and put themselves on the line publicly for.

 

[STOCKYJIM]

Congratulations!

It is very heartwarming to hear of your brothers stance. You must be very proud of him.

Your right, I am very proud of him - and very lucky!!!

Lucky that all members of our respective families are accepting - from the oldest to the newest!! Not everyone is so lucky and messages like the one Rob gives makes my heart shine that society is finally beginning to change!!!

When I came out (many, many, many, years ago!!) I couldnt even imagine being "married" let alone having a Disneymoon!!! Hell it wasnt even legal for me to "do the do" with someone. Now look at me - im being given away by my mom, with our brothers as best men, and even have my Gran (87 years old and still rocking!!) reading at our wedding.

I just hope that those people in society that comdemn "who we are" by "what we do" can look past all that one day and realise that love is love no mattter how its wrapped up!!!

James

 

[TuckandStuiesMom]

:
Count me in too -- I am SO going to save this quote for future use. Now, I'm gonna scoot and check out his music.
********
WOW! He was on the TODAY show -- I looked up and there he was...synchronicity...

 

[chell]

:
Count me in too -- I am SO going to save this quote for future use. Now, I'm gonna scoot and check out his music.
********
WOW! He was on the TODAY show -- I looked up and there he was...synchronicity...

I didn't think to mention he would be on the Today show this morning. He will be on something tomorrow too, the Macy's Fourth thing on NBC, I think - I've set it all to record so I'm not certain of channels. His new solo CD Cradlesong just came out this week. And I must say it is awesome.

I'm glad you all enjoyed this. I don't know why I didn't think to post it sooner. He is a very passionate guy. He does all kinds of great things, even for animals.

 

[chell]

Congrats James! That is going to be one special occasion, especially with your grandmother reading. It would have been awesome to have had any of my grandparents at our wedding. Disneymoons are freaking awesome!!!

 

[rpmdfw]

Congrats James! That is going to be one special occasion, especially with your grandmother reading. It would have been awesome to have had any of my grandparents at our wedding. Disneymoons are freaking awesome!!!

I agree! I wish my grandparents could have lived to attend our wedding.

You're very lucky!

 

[PghLybrt]

Wow, I think that was very surprising. Maybe not the beliefs but that he actually spoke about them at such length. That was great.

 

[chell]

Wow, I think that was very surprising. Maybe not the beliefs but that he actually spoke about them at such length. That was great.

He actually had a lot on the line by putting this out there. So many celebrities won't speak up about any "hot topics" because they are afraid it will have a negative impact on their career. He wrote this near the end of May, about a month before the release of his new solo CD and he will be going on tour in a few months. He could have received a lot of negative publicity over it which would have caused a drop in sales - he didn't care. He actually didn't even receive any kind of publicity over this. It seems that only Rob fans really know about this blog.

It really does make me proud to be a fan of Rob. I'm glad he takes a stand for what he believes in.

 

[chell]

If you are at all interested in seeing him on the Today Show click on that link. I think he did a great job! Of course the sound wasn't perfect being outside but he put on a great show. I love seeing how passionate he is about his music. Watch his fingers while he sings - it's too cute.

 

[sirJeffrey90]

Well I was about to go to sleep when I read this and it's sucha great thing to have read before I crash. He makes a great point...it's actually a great clip to have read on the 4th of July!

 

[kingLouiethe1]

Well I wish I could have read this sooner. We just had a free concert with Rob Thomas last week and I could have thanked him personally. Once in a while I get to do really cool things at work, so I got to take a few pictures.

Rob was so cool and down to earth, his manager on the other hand I want to kick in the shin.

 

[chell]

Well I wish I could have read this sooner. We just had a free concert with Rob Thomas last week and I could have thanked him personally. Once in a while I get to do really cool things at work, so I got to take a few pictures.

Rob was so cool and down to earth, his manager on the other hand I want to kick in the shin.

Aww. Sorry I didn't post it sooner.

I got to meet him for about 2 seconds to have a photo taken after a radio station concert. Rob wasn't feeling well that day. I was SO excited to finally get to meet Rob. Before that I had met Adam (who is no longer with Matchbox) and Kyle. Both of those guys were super cool. When I met Kyle he was in SC with his other band and we all talked for a very long time. It is so great when these guys are down to earth!

At this event I thought I would finally get to talk to Rob for maybe a minute or two. Between Rob being sick and them being stuck in traffic for a while getting there it never worked out. Up until then I was the only one out of my Matchbox friends who had never met him. So I'm still the only one who has never actually talked to him. Well I could have talked to him that day but it was Rob and Paul. I had to thank Paul and tell him what an awesome drummer he is, then they snapped the picture and pushed us along. I was crushed. I had waited for years to finally meet Rob.

After everything was over my friend & I were one of the crazy people who stood around out back waiting for them to go to their van. We took pictures and yelled at them. We just told them to have a safe trip and stuff like that - nothing crazy like some people. I was just excited to see Rob & Paul that close without them being on stage.

Maybe someday I'll get my chance. But Rob may be afraid of me after a little controversy I accidentally started after that visit with a radio station Rob & Paul weren't able to make it to. I was just trying to stand up and do the right thing...