Road side memorials for accident victims

[KAMLEM]

What do you all think about crosses, bunches of flowers, etc. that you see along the side of the road as memorials for victims of auto accidents? A local talk show had this as a topic of discussion a few weeks ago so I figured I'd ask you guys.

 

[Christine]

I find it kind of morbid. I realize that people put it there because their loved one "died right on that spot" but I still don't get it. And honestly, it wouldn't bother me if they just did it for a few weeks, but in some cases, these things have been there for years.

 

[Beth76]

I don't like them. I suppose I could tolerate them for a couple of weeks, so that no one can call me insensitive. But, otherwise, I could live without them.

 

[AllyandJack]

To me, it depends. Were they really a victim or were they a drunk driver or some goon driving like an idiot?

 

[va32h]

I don't understand the purpose behind them. People die in hospitals - but hospital beds do not become shrines to the last person who laid there.

People die at home, but families don't erect crosses or lay teddy bears on the couch or bed where it happened. The person who died in "that spot" isn't "there" anymore.

I suppose they could serve as a warning to drivers that a particular area is accident prone.

But a case could be made that such memorials are likely to cause more accidents; being distracting to other drivers and dangerous to the pedestrian that goes out in the road or on the median or shoulder to put them up.

 

[TinkerBess_SnowTori]

Do you mean the "THINK" signs that are put up or the flowers and things that decorate the signs?

The signs themselves don't bother me -- and while I can understand people putting flowers and things on the signs as part of their grieving, I wouldn't want my family to do that. I really wouldn't want them to change the decorations with the seasons etc.

But the "THINK" sign itself - does remind me to be a little more careful.

 

[ClarabelleCowFan]

I saw one on our way home from Florida that said YOU on it (instead of the person's name). I thought that was kind of creepy.

 

[Spinning]

Hate them!
I do understand the need to grieve and even to place flowers.
But around here they become small grave yards! With little white fences and a cement block with name and date.
I live on a 4 lane highway, right in a curve. We have had some bad accidents here but no deaths. I personally wouldn't want to pull in and out of my drive way every day and see this on the "state" part of the property! That I have to maintain!
There is one up the street and for the longest time it freaked the kids out they thought the person was buried there.

We also lost 4 girls in a horrible accident years ago, Sr students. Where the accident was they have planted trees, and each season it is decorate. It is at a very bad part of the highway. Initially it really caused a lot of problems iwth cars stopping. So they had to cut back on what was placed the

 

[mommaU4]

I never really thought that much about it before. It makes me sad to see one because I wonder about what happened? Was it a family? Did the dad die or the mom? It especially makes me sad when I see a little toy or stuffed animal because it makes me think it was a child.

Last winter there was an accident at an intersection that I drive thru all the time. A firetruck responding to a call went thru a red light and hit an SUV. The mother and infant child were killed. The dad lived. They also had another child who wasn't with them at the time. It was very sad. And for a few weeks there was a memorial there for them.

It didn't seem right or wrong to me or even weird, just sad.

 

[Keli]

Last week I was driving past one of those roadside memorials and there was a woman standing there just staring down at the little crosses and flowers. My heart went out to her.
I'm kinda on the fence about this one. I'm not terribly fond of the look of roadside memorials and yet I understand that people get through grief in different ways and it might be important to someone to mark the location where their loved one passed away. But if someone died by crashing into the trees in my front yard I definitely wouldn't want a memorial up on my personal property. Like I said, I'm on the fence about this one.

 

[CharityLynn]

While agree that sometimes these things are over done. My best friend was killed in an auto accident (I was in 10th grade, she was younger than me, she was only 13) she was killed on impact. For some reason going to the tree where she died gave me something. I can't really explain but I felt Holli there. The tree is now gone but for about 4 years after the accident I would visit the tree on her birthday and the anniversary of her death. I never put anything up there but her family did have a picture and a few other items but nothing too overboard. I have seen trees like someone else said with little fences, one around here even has solar lights...

 

[LoveWDW]

I approve. It is a way for the bereaved to take some action concerning their loss, and it points out possible dangerous areas. When I see them I have a sense of respect and sadness for the family and friends.

 

[Cantw8]

For those of you who "hate" them, I need to ask.....why? How does it bother you? Have any of you lost anyone in a car accident? I am sure that those who put up the memorials do so as a way to remember someone who died needlessly and horrificallyand perhaps make others more aware of driving conditions. How can this possibly bother you? It is their way of dealing with grief. As far as Beth76's comment of "tolerating" them so as not to appear insensitive.....what does that mean? The fact that you express that you "tolerate" them already makes you insensitive in my opinion.

 

[DawnCt1]

What do you all think about crosses, bunches of flowers, etc. that you see along the side of the road as memorials for victims of auto accidents? A local talk show had this as a topic of discussion a few weeks ago so I figured I'd ask you guys.

Oh, you have been listening to Howie Carr. Its my pet peeve as well. I can understand it the first day or two, but after the funeral, take it to the cemetary. We had one in a town near us on a very busy corner. It didn't serve as a reminder for other to slow down, not drink or drive, etc. In fact, the accident was the fault of the 10 year old boy's babysitter who was a good friend of the mother. The memorial lasted over a year. There were plastic flowers wrapped around the street sign, flowers on the ground, a wooden, painted two sided sign that said remember D....M...... This was on the property of Olive Garden. I have witnessed so many close calls at that intersection because drivers were staring at the memorial. Enough is definately enough!

 

[TDC Nala]

I kind of get the idea that there is a need but I think they may be too distracting to other drivers.

 

[DawnCt1]

For those of you who "hate" them, I need to ask.....why? How does it bother you? Have any of you lost anyone in a car accident? I am sure that those who put up the memorials do so as a way to remember someone who died needlessly and horrificallyand perhaps make others more aware of driving conditions. How can this possibly bother you? It is their way of dealing with grief. As far as Beth76's comment of "tolerating" them so as not to appear insensitive.....what does that mean? The fact that you express that you "tolerate" them already makes you insensitive in my opinion.

I don't need to have lost someone in car accident to have an opinion.
It bothers me because I think that they are a major distraction. Rather than "remind" drivers of driving conditions, they take their attention. Why does someone's method of "dealing with grief" have to extend into public areas that we all use and in the case of one memorial near us, on Olive Garden's property? That is what cemeteries are for! That's what tomb stones and grave markers are for.
I

 

[kerrynic78]

In FL they are everywhere!! The route I take to work has at least 5 white crosses at different parts of the highway, sometimes there are balloons, flowers, etc. it doesn't bother me at all, just makes me sad.

Coming from CT, I don't think I ever saw 1 roadside memorial, but down here it is extremely common.

 

[DawnCt1]

I approve. It is a way for the bereaved to take some action concerning their loss, and it points out possible dangerous areas. When I see them I have a sense of respect and sadness for the family and friends.

Its up to the highway department to point out dangerous areas, not the bereaved.

 

[L107ANGEL]

"Can you feel the love tonight" sorry just felt like that song was appropriate. Now lets get back to the original thread!

 

[Mackey Mouse]

I don't like it, it just bothers me terribly.....I think it is morbid and that kind of attention, to me and again this is my opinion, belongs at the cemetary...