Right Side Pain right below the ribs. Update in the OP

[Imzadi]

Your child got stabbed with scissors and you are going to write a note?

 

[HelenePA]

Your child got stabbed with scissors and you are going to write a note?

There was no blood, no mark... I dont even know if it was an accident... I hope to god it was open house is thrusday... i highly doubt I'm going to get in to see the teacher sooner than that.... I dont even know if I have the whole story! I'm very angry with Aidan right now. He wont talk to me about it at all...

 

[Imzadi]

There was no blood, no mark... I dont even know if it was an accident... I hope to god it was open house is thrusday... i highly doubt I'm going to get in to see the teacher sooner than that.... I dont even know if I have the whole story! I'm very angry with Aidan right now. He wont talk to me about it at all...

Ah, I knew there was a part of the story missing.

My brother did something similar when he was around 12. Our parents told him not to ride a friend's skateboard. He did anyway. He fell & broke his arm. Came home & was lying in bed, didn't want to tell anyone, since he didn't follow our parents orders, and he didn't want to get into trouble. Our DSis was the one who finally told our parents something was wrong with brother, as he was lying in bed, clutching his arm, moaning.

 

[HelenePA]

its late he's still up (thanks to that nap) and I'm dragging more stuff out of him.. so far i have found out the teacher knows nothing about it... the kid stole the scissors which the teacher doesn't know about either... I know there is more to this story... ya know we've always told them to just tell us the truth they wont get into trouble i guess it takes on a whole different path when the truth might get a friend in trouble... another first for me... dealing with school and this..

 

[monkeybug]

there is an update in the OP... you'll see why we take the wait and see with him... you'd think I beat the kid.. I dont understand why he wont tell me things... i could kill him...

Are you pretty strict parents? Or heavy on the discipline? Not that I think there is anything wrong with that at ALL, kids need discipline and I was raised by very strict parents, the result being that even though it drove me nuts when I was a kid, I look back at my childhood and know with out a doubt that my parents loved me very much. The downside for my parents was that my brothers and I told my mom and dad nothing! Nothing!!!

I worried that I would get in trouble for everything, even if it was in no way my fault, so I just didn't tell them anything. They had the same "if you tell us about it you won't get in trouble" policy, but I think we were so ingrained to think that mistakes=punishment that we just went ahead and lied, figuring that if we were going to get in trouble anyways, we might as well at least try to get away with it first. My parents turned us into very good liars (and now we are very honest adults, but we are very good lie detectors!!!)

My parents changed their parenting tactics a bit when I was in high school and they found out a teacher had offered me "extra credit" (along with 3 other girls) when I was being questioned by the D.A. When the D.A. asked me why I didn't tell my parents I told him that I thought they would get mad at me. I think that was kind of a wake up call.

I'm sooooo not trying to put you down as a parent, and it could have nothing to do with you, your son might just prefer to keep things to himself if he can. I thought I would offer my experience just in case.
Maybe even though you are angry with him, you could not show your anger at him for this? Maybe tell him you understand it's hard to tell on your friends, but you really need to know when things like this happen because you love him and need to know he is OK. If you get angry or punish him, thinking that it will teach him to just be upfront next time, it might have the opposite effect and just teach him that next time he has to be a better liar to stay out of trouble.
I have found with my kids that if I don't get angry at them every time (and we are fairly strict) they are much more likely to tell me things.

 

[Liberty Belle]

Now before y'all jump on me he's already at the dr's... but I dont know if it was the right thing or not...

DS5 (aka Aidan) came home from school (K) at 4pm.. almost as soon as he stepped off the bus he complained his side was hurting.. I thought it was a cramp like you get while running. We had to walk 1 street home and by the time we got here he was in tears! Screaming, at one point rolling around on the bathroom floor Honestly it was very scary to see him like that. Dh had both sets of keys (he took my van to get gas and took his too) so I couldn't rush to the ER right then and there... and by the time he got home Aidan was sleeping on the couch. He got up and then we went grocery shopping. He was okay still saying it hurt but not nearly as bad as when he got home. He was okay for most of the night... he ate but not like he usually does. Drank some gatorade and ch. milk.

Well at 9 he starts screaming again... I asked if it hurt while he peed he said no.. but he's a boy he might be saying that to me cuz I'm a girl

So what do all the dis dr's think it is... would you have gone to the ER?

UPDATE


Okay well here is the story.. now we did ask if he got hurt he said no.. well apparently I didnt ask the question right.. he told the dr some one in his class ran into him and he had a pair of scissors in his pocket.. my child got stabbed with them why he didn't want to tell us.. I dont know.. maybe he didn't want him to get into trouble? arrrrrgggghhh now I dont know who to be mad at.. ds for not telling us.. or the kid at school? the kid who did it seems like the trouble maker of the class... time to write a note asking them to be kept apart... He just told me he didn't want to tell me because I was going to yell at him... now I'm going to yell at him... before I wouldn't have...

Oh my gosh. What did the doctor say? Is he okay?

My son often doesn't tell us when he gets hurt. Sometimes he goes into another room and won't talk to us. Not sure why.

Please don't automatically assume the other child did it on purpose. Once a child with behavior problems is "found out" everyone tends to blame him about everything. It could have been an accident.

ETA: just read more posts. Maybe the kid did do it on purpose.

 

[HelenePA]

Are you pretty strict parents? Or heavy on the discipline? Not that I think there is anything wrong with that at ALL, kids need discipline and I was raised by very strict parents, the result being that even though it drove me nuts when I was a kid, I look back at my childhood and know with out a doubt that my parents loved me very much. The downside for my parents was that my brothers and I told my mom and dad nothing! Nothing!!!

I worried that I would get in trouble for everything, even if it was in no way my fault, so I just didn't tell them anything. They had the same "if you tell us about it you won't get in trouble" policy, but I think we were so ingrained to think that mistakes=punishment that we just went ahead and lied, figuring that if we were going to get in trouble anyways, we might as well at least try to get away with it first. My parents turned us into very good liars (and now we are very honest adults, but we are very good lie detectors!!!)

My parents changed their parenting tactics a bit when I was in high school and they found out a teacher had offered me "extra credit" (along with 3 other girls) when I was being questioned by the D.A. When the D.A. asked me why I didn't tell my parents I told him that I thought they would get mad at me. I think that was kind of a wake up call.

I'm sooooo not trying to put you down as a parent, and it could have nothing to do with you, your son might just prefer to keep things to himself if he can. I thought I would offer my experience just in case.
Maybe even though you are angry with him, you could not show your anger at him for this? Maybe tell him you understand it's hard to tell on your friends, but you really need to know when things like this happen because you love him and need to know he is OK. If you get angry or punish him, thinking that it will teach him to just be upfront next time, it might have the opposite effect and just teach him that next time he has to be a better liar to stay out of trouble.
I have found with my kids that if I don't get angry at them every time (and we are fairly strict) they are much more likely to tell me things.

me strict? Nooooo I am the most laid back easy going mom I know. He hardly ever gets into trouble so he's never really been punished... the most we do to send him to his room... poor kid only has a TV and computer in there I yell.. but that's about the extent of me being strict... I give the evil eye too.. that usually does the trick to get them to knock off what ever they are doing...

So I sent in a letter trying to be as nutral as possible.. guess I'll find out later if there is more to the story... but according to Aidan the teacher didn't know it even happend or that he had the scissors... so its all a wait and see thing...

 

[MELSMICE]

Do you think maybe the kid with the scissors if a bully & your DS is afraid of him so that's why he didn't want to tattle on the boy?

 

[HelenePA]

Do you think maybe the kid with the scissors if a bully & your DS is afraid of him so that's why he didn't want to tattle on the boy?

Oh yeah he's a bully. He's about a foot shorter than Aidan too. He is SO tiny! Aidan told me he calls people names, cries, yells at the teacher. He is at the bottom of their behavior chart. I asked Aidan if he was there too.. he said he was at the top. He says please and thank you. He is a REALLY sweet boy He has eyes that make you melt its so hard to be mad at him I really would have a hard time believing it was Aidan's "fault" but stranger things have happened... like I said I wrote the note as neutral as possible... still no call. of course they've only been there and hour and a half... all I can do right now is wait to see if there is (isn't there always) another side of the story... he was fine this morning.. no pain. No black and blue.. nada... I dont know why it hurt so much last night

 

[Liberty Belle]

Oh yeah he's a bully. He's about a foot shorter than Aidan too. He is SO tiny! Aidan told me he calls people names, cries, yells at the teacher. He is at the bottom of their behavior chart. I asked Aidan if he was there too.. he said he was at the top. He says please and thank you. He is a REALLY sweet boy He has eyes that make you melt its so hard to be mad at him I really would have a hard time believing it was Aidan's "fault" but stranger things have happened... like I said I wrote the note as neutral as possible... still no call. of course they've only been there and hour and a half... all I can do right now is wait to see if there is (isn't there always) another side of the story... he was fine this morning.. no pain. No black and blue.. nada... I dont know why it hurt so much last night

Not to take anything away from your son or your post, but...

My son is a really sweet boy, too. He is extremely compassionate and he says please and thank you, as well. He also is at the bottom of the behavior chart, so to speak, in his classroom due to ADHD and, especially, Sensory Integration Disorder. He hates when he misbehaves (hits himself in the face for it), but his sensory issues are such that it's extremely hard for him to control himself at times.

If someone says something to him that bothers him, he overreacts. Even the sweet-looking innocent-seeming boys and girls in his class have said mean things to him. They're all children, after all.

I bet people might call him a bully. He has put his hands on others (most of the time it was in play and he can't tell that he's doing it too hard - some of it was in frustration or reaction over something said or done to him), but that didn't start until after two years of kids putting their hands on him (one clawing his face and leaving scars for six months) and picking on/bullying him.

I'm just feeling extra sensitive today about it. I love my son. He's a super intelligent, kind, funny, loving boy. He has a neurological condition that doesn't always make him look that way to others. He can't help it, but he sure as hell is trying and so are we.

 

[HelenePA]

Not to take anything away from your son or your post, but...

My son is a really sweet boy, too. He is extremely compassionate and he says please and thank you, as well. He also is at the bottom of the behavior chart, so to speak, in his classroom due to ADHD and, especially, Sensory Integration Disorder. He hates when he misbehaves (hits himself in the face for it), but his sensory issues are such that it's extremely hard for him to control himself at times.

If someone says something to him that bothers him, he overreacts. Even the sweet-looking innocent-seeming boys and girls in his class have said mean things to him. They're all children, after all.

I bet people might call him a bully. He has put his hands on others (most of the time it was in play and he can't tell that he's doing it too hard - some of it was in frustration or reaction over something said or done to him), but that didn't start until after two years of kids putting their hands on him (one clawing his face and leaving scars for six months) and picking on/bullying him.

I'm just feeling extra sensitive today about it. I love my son. He's a super intelligent, kind, funny, loving boy. He has a neurological condition that doesn't always make him look that way to others. He can't help it, but he sure as hell is trying and so are we.

I'm going to PM you... I dont share this info with a lot of people

 

[Liberty Belle]

I'm going to PM you... I dont share this info with a lot of people

Thank you, Helene.