Responding to a thread without reading other responses.

[cm8]

I am guilty of both. Some times I say that I haven't read the whole thing and post anyway because what I am posting is my opinion. My opinion can be the same as someone else or completely different or someplace in between. It really doesn't matter because it is my opinion. Even if it were repeated a million times by someone else, that changes nothing.

There are also times when a OP or response strikes a nerve with me and I will feel the immediate need to respond. I do and hit the post button only to discover that there were a number of pages that I hadn't even been aware existed. Totally by accident, that one.

I so agree!

 

[Jennasis]

I don't read through tons of pages. I may read through 3. But if we're somewhere in the 5+ pages, then I'm not bothering. Like THIS thread.

Why?

Because I can. Because I FEEL like it. Because other people having either a differing opinion or the same opinion as me and having already stated it has no bearing on my opinion and I'll share it regardless, if I want.

 

[dismom2]

I don't read through tons of pages. I may read through 3. But if we're somewhere in the 5+ pages, then I'm not bothering. Like THIS thread.

Why?

Because I can. Because I FEEL like it. Because other people having either a differing opinion or the same opinion as me and having already stated it has no bearing on my opinion and I'll share it regardless, if I want.

I agree.

Personally, if an OP asks an opinion, I feel that I am replying to the OP, which doesn't mean I am obligated to join in on an entire conversation. If someone thinks there is something wrong with that, that's their problem, sorry. That's not rude in my book.

Most of the time I read through the threads, but if it's really long and I don't have time---which many times I don't (I do have a life...)-- there is nothing wrong with giving my opinion to the OP without spending an hour or more sometimes reading pages and pages of replies. Again, my reply to the OP is just that.

Many people like to hear everyone's replies, even if they are the same. How do you think surveys are done? If nobody repeated anything, how would you get a real sample of opinions? Think about it.

 

[Planogirl]

It still depends on the topic.

For example, if someone asks if people like Chef Mickey's and also ask why or why not, would you need to read through all of the posts to offer your opinion? That is quite a bit different from someone wanting to discuss deeper subjects such as how to best get out of debt or how to help someone in an abusive environment. I can see reading through the posts on the deeper topics but I don't see much point in finding out everyone's thoughts on Chef Mickey's unless you yourself have some interest too.

I like that someone mentioned the idea of someone walking up and joining in on a conversation. You'd be more limited because you couldn't go back and hear everything that was already said but should you not join in since you're a late arrival? You could be given a brief synopsis but you still wouldn't know everything that was already said.

 

[Tricia1972]

Thinking along the lines of joining a conversation, and I agree with Planogirl, sometimes you just need to be brought up to speed, I also thought of Christmas coming up.

My husband has a large family, and there are about 50 of us together every Christmas Eve. Conversations will ebb and flow between most of the family as the evening progresses.

Until Aunt Brenda shows up.

Aunt Brenda will bulldog every discussion to death just to prove that she's right. It doesn't matter what it's about. Aunt Brenda is passionate, and passonately "Right" about everything. She likes to debate, simply becuase she likes to debate.

Everyone in the family handles Aunt Brenda differently.

Some people kindly listen to her. Some people try to avoid her, and others just ignore her and continue on with their conversations as if she's said nothing at all.

Then there is Aunt Carol. Bless her heart. She's as sweet as they come, but she'll just discuss whatever is important to her, whether or not it has anything to do with the discussion that she's just joined.

Though most are more kind to Aunt Carol, people seem to employ the same tactics when Aunt Carol joins in as they do with Aunt Brenda.


The way I see it, there are Aunt Carol's and Aunt Brenda's everywhere, even here on the DIS. We all handle them differently (read what they say, skim what they say, or ignore what they say) and so long as nobody attacks either Aunt Carol or Aunt Brenda here on the DIS, that's OK.

Personally, I usually read the first two and the last two pages of discussion before joining in on any conversation. If the conversation seems stimulating, then I'll go back and read inbetween as well. Guess I must be a skimmer.

 

[snowywhite89]

Was I suppose to read this entire thread before responding?

 

[U2_rocks!]

As with many things, there is no one size fits all answer to this question. Some topics don't really need all the posters to be active participants with each other - responses are mainly to the OP, and the OP will do with them what they like. e.g. topics that are soliciting as many opinions as possible can be posted to in isolation, no matter how many others have shared the same opinion in the thread. The OP wants numbers, and the more the merrier.

Other topics are much more interactive in nature, and when I pick up on that I will read the first and last pages for sure before posting anything, and if I still don't have a good feel for where the discussion is at by then, I will go back and read some more. I personally don't want to be the one posting a response that no longer has any bearing on the discussion. I guess people who are only responding to the OP, regardless of where the thread has gone, don't mind taking that chance. I'd feel silly if I did that and then started reading the thread and realized how out of place my response was!

 

[Becky2005]

Yeah but if everyone did what you did, what would be the point of giving your opinion? I mean, if everyone just posted their opinion without reading anyone else's, then who would be around to read YOUR opinion know what I mean?

OK...I had to stop here to answer it. I would be assuming it was the OP that wanted your opinion so if they were the only one who read your response, then what does it matter?

If I were the OP and asked a question on "What shampoo do you use?" Then as the OP, I would go back and read all the replies. If I was just a poster answering the question "I use VO5", it really wouldn't matter what shampoo everyone else is using and I probably wouldn't read a thread that is 20 pages long about it.

The point of giving the opinion is so the OP has the answer not everyone else. I never gave it a thought that any other poster cared about what my opinion was on any matter except for the person asking the question.

 

[disney_mommy]

Normally my response to this would be as above - but there was a situation a couple of weeks ago where it was "implied" that I was being less than truthful - when someone took the time to track down a similar thread of mine from five years ago (on the topic that was being discussed) and asked if that was what I was referring to.. I didn't bother to respond - because if the poster took the time to look back several pages she would have seen that I had already posted that I was not talking about the same situation (and I'm really not interested in people looking for untruths where there aren't any).. I've honestly never understood this whole "playing amateur detective" concept.. Seems to be an awful lot of trouble to go through - unless for some reason you have a personal dislike for someone and want to create a bunch of drama where none exists..

Now I suppose it could have been an honest mistake, but when I say something happened a "few" years back, I don't mean five years ago.. LOL.. (It was a really "odd" format of that older post as well - doesn't look like it came from the DIS.. I never posted about it anywhere else, so I don't know where this person copied and pasted that thread/post from..)

Anyhow - point being - since a number of posters were going back and forth, asking additional questions, etc., in that case I could see the importance of reading the entire thread.. (And it would have saved "someone" a lot of time - LOL..)

Why are you bringing this up now? It doesn't have anything to do with the current thread. Are you trying to get the last word in?

I can assure you it didn't take very long to find your previous thread. Just a matter of a quick DIS search. The original post is from the DIS (post, thread). I brought it up to show that maybe you aren't remembering those past details as you originally thought.

And I thought you didn't respond because you were banned. My mistake.

 

[Scurvy]

OK...I had to stop here to answer it. I would be assuming it was the OP that wanted your opinion so if they were the only one who read your response, then what does it matter?

If I were the OP and asked a question on "What shampoo do you use?" Then as the OP, I would go back and read all the replies. If I was just a poster answering the question "I use VO5", it really wouldn't matter what shampoo everyone else is using and I probably wouldn't read a thread that is 20 pages long about it.

The point of giving the opinion is so the OP has the answer not everyone else. I never gave it a thought that any other poster cared about what my opinion was on any matter except for the person asking the question.

I almost always read all the replies (though sometimes I get interrupted while responding and take longer than I expect to finish my post, and then I might miss a few replies). The only time I don't read everything is when it's a question like this. In most threads, the OP comes back with more information and I don't want to reply to the first post only to find out that later in the thread the OP added information that would completely change my opinion. The answer to a question about your favorite shampoo or least favorite Disney movie isn't going to change based on the other replies, so I don't feel bad about skipping a few pages in a thread like that.

 

[snowywhite89]

Why are you bringing this up now? It doesn't have anything to do with the current thread. Are you trying to get the last word in?

I can assure you it didn't take very long to find your previous thread. Just a matter of a quick DIS search. The original post is from the DIS (post, thread). I brought it up to show that maybe you aren't remembering those past details as you originally thought.

And I thought you didn't respond because you were banned. My mistake.

The Amish turn the other cheek when confronted with adversity but the Amish researcher seems to have a hard time with that.

The Amish families whose children were killed at the Nichol Mines school forgave him and embraced his family. They even made a movie about it.

 

[Magic Mom]

Why are you bringing this up now? It doesn't have anything to do with the current thread. Are you trying to get the last word in?

I can assure you it didn't take very long to find your previous thread. Just a matter of a quick DIS search. The original post is from the DIS (post, thread). I brought it up to show that maybe you aren't remembering those past details as you originally thought.

And I thought you didn't respond because you were banned. My mistake.

Now I remember the post she was talking about. It was the two weddings her daughter went to in NYC. I couldn't figure what C.Ann was talking about.

 

[elainesj]

wow. I started and ran a message board for years. I also frequent many other message boards. This is the first time I have heard the sentiment that someone should read every last post before joining in the conversation.

The more that join in the conversation, the more perspectives and experiences you get.

Some enjoy reading every last post....some just skim....some just get straight to the point. Most do a combination. it takes all kinds to make a message board.

I do find that what stage you are in makes a big difference to how you act and how you perceive things. A new member, an occassional poster, a hard core member - they all use a messageboard in different ways and for different needs.

when I adminned my board, I read everything thoroughly, I knew the history and pretty much most things about everyone else posting. I knew the newbies, I knew the lives of the longtime posters. It was a very different perspective. Coming here now, I don't know anyone, maybe only know a couple of names that I recognize (and usualy don't pay any attention anyway). And I join in conversations mostly from an outsider perspective. For now, I don't have any plans to be an insider. I expect to mostly come here only when I have Disney trips on the go.

Does this mean I'm not welcome to join in the conversations if I don't plan to completely commit to be a full time community member? That's the feeling I get from this thread....that if I don't fully participate, then I shouldn't be joining in.