Yes and Yes to your questions.
It's all about planning, and what you want to happen... there are no rules that state you have to go from rope drop to fireworks or EMH every night...
So making it about you and your family will start off the vacation on the right foot.
A couple of things that I try to avoid when planning, 1) late night followed by a early morning rope drop or ADR's no one likes a bunch of cranky pants early on. 2) planning every minute of everyday 3) rushing around to get to FP's and ADR's.
When planning I am old school.... I write with a pen and paper yep really old school...one sheet for each day, adding in anything special that we are celebrating or wanting to check out, going from there, looking at ADR's old favorites and new things we want to try. then on to the major FP's... spacing things out, adding in travel time. for me it help me see the whole picture... so that I can move things around before I actually start the process on-line. Also once on-line and trying to make ADR's and FP's if I can't get a time or date it easy to just mark out and move around.
Take into consideration your party size, ages, health and so forth... When my family was young we would hit the parks then head back mid-day for pool time and naps for everyone... then back out for dinner and parades and fireworks. Even when my DD's were in high school, they like the going at night so we might have a pool morning and relax before heading into the park for the nighttime festivities. Now our kids are grown up, and we have grandkid's we are back to the mid-day pool and naps which is just fine.
Timing is important... Don't sweat the small stuff, so you just missed the bus... its okay there will be another one in 10 minutes or so. The ride is down... its really okay its not like there aren't a ton of other rides. One of the kids is having a full on melt down ( or mom and dad is just sayin)... head back to the resort for naptime.
Have a plan on arrival day and departure day... a lot of times on arrival day we don't go into the parks, maybe pool time and Disney Spring for the evening... or just hang out at the resort, get yourself unpacked, get the room organized, so that you are ready to let the magic in. Departure day... Know what time your leaving, whether by DME or uber, what time do you need to be at the airport, or hit the road... Have a breakfast plan whether your eating in your room, QS or one last meal with the characters. Also make sure you know are at if you are on a dinning plan, spending all the credits for snacks to take home, or using the night before for a quick breakfast the next morning, or QS meal...
Keep your room organized, so you are freaking out over where this or that is... have a place for dirty clothes, and start moving them into suitcase to help with space, I have a friend that does laundry everyday when they are by the pool, and she never has a ton of laundry when she gets home.
Having a plan for when you get home what are you going to do for dinner ( order pizza or have something frozen to make quickly and breakfast ( especially coffee and fresh cream) the next morning is always on my list. If the kids are heading back to school, clothes ready, back pack ready, lunch ready...
Lots of little things can really help the overall trip... putting your mind at easy...
Go with the flow, just stop and take it all in.