Relationship trends you dislike

[reecejackox]

I will start

People who ghost other people

 

[neverlandsky]

Work expecting you to be available 24/7 due to smartphones.

 

[DLgal]

Married people NOT having a joint checking account. Its super weird to me that some couples split up the monthly expenses like roommates.

ETA: I'm fine with each person keeping a personal savings account, if they both work.

 

[Sinder]

I have no idea if this is a trend but the last 2 relationships my dd has been in they have decided not to "put a label on it"
Really, it is OK to say it's just a fling, not serious, it's just physical or it's just companionship, or whatever else. What does labeling it do to change the actual relationship? It is clearly something and if you are happy with how it is then who cares if it's defined as something.
Idk maybe I'm just a million years old and don't get it

 

[tvguy]

Work expecting you to be available 24/7 due to smartphones.

Depends on the industry I guess. That was the norm for all 47 years I was in broadcasting long before smartphones.

 

[dez1978]

Joint facebook accounts. Which one of you cheated???

 

[DLgal]

Joint facebook accounts. Which one of you cheated???

LOL, so true! Although also is a huge red flag for a controlling partner. Either way, it's weird.

 

[DLgal]

Oh, I thought of another one because I now know TWO couples who have done this.

When they get married, combining their last names into a NEW last name. I don't understand that at all and I find it hugely disrespectful to both families. Just either don't change your names at all or do the hyphenated thing. But making up a whole new last name is something I don't like at all.

 

[Sinder]

Oh, I thought of another one because I now know TWO couples who have done this.

When they get married, combining their last names into a NEW last name. I don't understand that at all and I find it hugely disrespectful to both families. Just either don't change your names at all or do the hyphenated thing. But making up a whole new last name is something I don't like at all.

My dh was just telling me about a guy he works with that did that with his wife. I had no idea that was a thing.

 

[DLgal]

My dh was just telling me about a guy he works with that did that with his wife. I had no idea that was a thing.

Ugh, that means it probably IS a trend. I was hoping the people I know that did this are just weirdos.

 

[tvguy]

Married people NOT having a joint checking account. Its super weird to me that some couples split up the monthly expenses like roommates.

ETA: I'm fine with each person keeping a personal savings account, if they both work.

I don't get that either. Or married people not even talking about a major purchase before they make it. Things like cars, boats etc. Been married 40 years come June, my wife and I don't spend more than about $200 (used to be $100) without at least mentioning it to the other before hand. She earned half the money, I earned half, we both need to know where it is going. I wasn't overjoyed to learn when we both went out and bought blue jeans 2 weeks ago that her jeans cost $70 a pair. Mine were $16 a pair. But her right.

 

[Mysterian]

Oh, I thought of another one because I now know TWO couples who have done this.

When they get married, combining their last names into a NEW last name. I don't understand that at all and I find it hugely disrespectful to both families. Just either don't change your names at all or do the hyphenated thing. But making up a whole new last name is something I don't like at all.

What you said! Tom and Trisha Brown-Streak deserve the laughter at their expense.

 

[DLgal]

What you said! Tom and Trisha Brown-Streak deserve the laughter at their expense.

It's better than remaining themselves Tom and Trisha Break.

FTR, the people I know who did this had very normal last names. It wasn't done to make their last name not be a joke.

 

[Mysterian]

I have no idea if this is a trend but the last 2 relationships my dd has been in they have decided not to "put a label on it"
Really, it is OK to say it's just a fling, not serious, it's just physical or it's just companionship, or whatever else. What does labeling it do to change the actual relationship? It is clearly something and if you are happy with how it is then who cares if it's defined as something.
Idk maybe I'm just a million years old and don't get it

Before I caught the gist of what you're saying, and I whole-heartedly agree, I thought this was going to be a couples issue regarding leftovers in the fridge. Like "Why do you NOT label which is the salsa and which is the chili?".

If you like it then you shoulda put a label on it. Wuh-uh-oh!

 

[Lumpy1106]

Married people NOT having a joint checking account. Its super weird to me that some couples split up the monthly expenses like roommates.

ETA: I'm fine with each person keeping a personal savings account, if they both work.

When I got married 25 years ago we had already lived together for a couple of years. The church required us to do a couples training class, and when they said we should only have 1 checking account we laughed. We've been doing the 2 checkbook thing since we met - why fix it if it isn't broke? Well, turns out the church was right. We got about 6 months in and had had it with our money being spread out like water and getting stupid charges from bills we were late paying even though we had the money the whole time.

One checkbook, the person who spends the most is responsible for keeping it balanced. It's a leap of faith for the other person but think about it - you are in this FOR LIFE. We have not had a single disagreement about money since we started doing it this way.

 

[mjkacmom]

I don't get that either. Or married people not even talking about a major purchase before they make it. Things like cars, boats etc. Been married 40 years come June, my wife and I don't spend more than about $200 (used to be $100) without at least mentioning it to the other before hand. She earned half the money, I earned half, we both need to know where it is going. I wasn't overjoyed to learn when we both went out and bought blue jeans 2 weeks ago that her jeans cost $70 a pair. Mine were $16 a pair. But her right.

My husband earns it all but I say it’s my money because technically I pay the bills.

 

[DLgal]

My husband earns it all but I say it’s my money because technically I pay the bills.

Same! Mine jokes "I don't even know how much money I make." And I tell him, "when it's not enough, I'll let you know."

I do sit him down like twice a year and do an overview of where all our money is hiding, just in case I die. Its hard to keep his attention, though, because our office is also his toy collection room and adjusting the stuff on the shelves is WAY more interesting to him.

 

[Caseheidi]

The trend the disturbs me the most is getting married, expecting it to not last. I have met too many people who are having "Starter" marriages, and expect that it will only last a few years. I don't get this? Why get married if you expect to break up in a few years. Seems like asking for trouble to me.

 

[DLgal]

The trend the disturbs me the most is getting married, expecting it to not last. I have met too many people who are having "Starter" marriages, and expect that it will only last a few years. I don't get this? Why get married if you expect to break up in a few years. Seems like asking for trouble to me.

Well, that's sad. It's also expensive. Divorce lawyers aren't cheap.

 

[tvguy]

My husband earns it all but I say it’s my money because technically I pay the bills.

My wife wants NOTHING to do with paying the bills. I made her pay the Garbage and Electric bills this month, and that was 8 days ago and she is still mad. She says she'll figure out how to do it if I am the first to go, but until then, she wants nothing to do with bill.