relationship advice (long post)

[anb163]

I don't post much, but maybe you people can give me some advice. I do not really have anyone else to talk to. I started college this year. I have become really close friends with a girl and a guy who are in one of my extracuricular activities, and I hang out with them all the time.

Well yesterday I found out the guy likes me. I don't know why, but I had no clue. He asked me for my phone number, and I gave it to him. The thing is I do not want to date him. I like our relationship the way it is. I just did not know what to say. Tonight he called me, and I pretended I was not home (horrible you don't have to say it).

My question is what can I tell him without hurting him and losing his friendship. He probably thinks I like him because I gave him my phone number. On top of it all, the girl and guy have been friends for years, and she may not understand. I think she really encouraged him to do this. I have to see these people almost everyday, and I am stressed. What do I do? I am sorry if this sounds like I am immature, but I never dealt with this kind of stuff in high school. If nothing else, thanks for letting me vent.

 

[beckmrk04]

If you are sure you don't want to date him, you could always use the "I'm just not looking for a relationship right now because I'm really focused on school" excuse.

 

[megan4777]

If you are sure you don't want to date him, you could always use the "I'm just not looking for a relationship right now because I'm really focused on school" excuse.

I say the same thing...I would say, 'I just want to be friends."
I would also talk to your friend and tell her that you want the same thing...

 

[ktpool]

I agree with Becky...jsut use school as an excuse, then no one has to get their feelings hurt. And then even if you find a guy later on that you do want to date, if it ever came up, you could just say you feel more comfortable with school and activites, etc.

But honestly, if you don't encourage him, he will get the hint and you probably will be able to keep things status quo with all 3 of you. College is like that...you will find it easier to be in groups of people, at least for a while.

Good luck!

 

[azgal81]

I would just be honest and tell him I don't think of him that way. I probably wouldn't use the school excuse becasue that could come back and bite you later on and give him some hope that you might be interested if things with school calm down.

I don't think you will hurt his feelings his ego might be bruised but he'll get over it. And if he doesn't want to be friends with you anymore because you don't like him like that then whatever that's just lame.

 

[poohandwendy]

How about "I don't want to hurt you or lose your friendship, but I like our reletionship the way it is" Your own words...the truth. Always the best bet, IMHO.

 

[RayaniFoxmur]

How about "I don't want to hurt you or lose your friendship, but I like our reletionship the way it is" Your own words...the truth. Always the best bet, IMHO.

If you use the school excuse and it's not the truth, it WILL come back and bite you in the butt... especially if he really likes you and is willing to wait until things settle down. I can understand wanting to salvage the friendship, but if he doesn't understand and doesn't want to remain your friend, maybe that's just the way it's meant to work out.

 

[Lizzy2]

The truth is ALWAYS best. I've been where you are. Just tell him you want to keep things as is and then do it. Be his friend.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

How about "I don't want to hurt you or lose your friendship, but I like our reletionship the way it is" Your own words...the truth. Always the best bet, IMHO.

Yep...then he can move one.

 

[Beth76]

I probably wouldn't use the school excuse becasue that could come back and bite you later on and give him some hope that you might be interested if things with school calm down.

I agree. Plus what if you find some guy that you do want to date and then this guy is going to be like "hey I thought you didn't want to date?"

 

[SwedishMeatball]

Honesty is best. I wouldn't tell him that you're too focused on school for a relationship unless that it the truth. Otherwise, what will he think if you met someone that you were interested in and started seeing them??