Rehearsal dinner question...

[DisneyJules]

Hey guys, I have a question regarding the rehearsal dinner. So my boyfriend's sister is getting married this coming Saturday. The rehearsal is tonight, so I told him I would just stay home, as I am not in the wedding party. Then he said there's a rehearsal dinner afterwards but it's just for the wedding party. He said he asked if I could come but they said I wasn't invited. Even my dad asked last night if they weren't having a rehearsal dinner and was wondering why I wasn't going but at that time I assumed they weren't having a dinner.
In the past SO and spouses are generally included, at least the ones I've witnessed. Is this not so uncommon?

 

[pixie08]

Hmmm well I think it is odd. We invited our wedding party and any one they were seriously involoved with like a boyfreid/spouse. Of course since ours was a destination wedding it could be different.

 

[mla1977]

I've experienced both.

When my BFF got married her inlaws paid for the rehersal dinner and no SO's were invited (spouses probably would be, but none of us had them at the time). I didn't really care until it ended up that I was the only one with a SO at the wedding, so it would only have been one more mouth to feed.

A few years ago I was the SO and was included in the rehersal dinner even though I wasn't in the wedding.

I guess it varies by each family's traditions. Maybe if you guys were engaged it would be different.

HTH!

 

[beachprincess23]

Maybe it varies by culture or tradition? I dunno... But, if you're not in the wedding party and your spouse or SERIOUS boyfriend/girlfriend is, I think it's rude not to invite the other person to the rehearsal dinner. But, that's just me.

 

[lurkyloo]

Yeah, I've been (or rather not been) to a rehearsal dinner where my SO was in the wedding party and invited but I was not.

 

[TamTab]

Our rehersal dinner is for wedding party only. No SO or boyfriend/girlfriend. It might be rude but A) I don't know most of my wedding party's SO and B) Money was a factor. Also it's just a family tradition. Rehersal is where we take the time to thank everyone for their help and hand out gifts. SO or boyfriend/girlfriend really have nothing to do with any of that. If people think I'm rude ..... so be it. I can deal .... it's my day and I plan on only doing it once.

 

[DisneyJules]

I have no problem with it, if they just want to have a dinner for the people who are helping out with the wedding, as a way of saying thank-you for all your hard work. It's just new to me. If they're footing the bill, I also understand. To each their own

 

[StitchBride]

I had never heard of this before. I've been the girlfriend for a bridal party member and was invited to the rehearsal dinner both times and at ours, we invited everyone. I can't imagine having people for a destination wedding and then asking that they leave their SO in the hotel or something by themselves. But I would be seriously irritated if I wasn't invited and we were engaged/married. That I would think is incredibly rude. I would assume in your case if they did it is a money thing but from what I've seen, its not the norm.

 

[DisneyJules]

I had never heard of this before. I've been the girlfriend for a bridal party member and was invited to the rehearsal dinner both times and at ours, we invited everyone. I can't imagine having people for a destination wedding and then asking that they leave their SO in the hotel or something by themselves.

Well in this case it's not a destination wedding. That would be BAD, "Sorry honey, you have to stay by yourself in the hotel room tonight."