Regional Differences

[PrincessKsMom]

The regional difference between the midwest and living back east (I've lived in NYC area, upstate NY, MA, RI and DE, as well as doing lots of travel involving vistis to client homes in the southeast) has to do with food and hospitality. Back east, it was the norm when you visited someone to be offered a drink (not a cocktail, just a beverage) and often, food. And certainly, if there was any visiting over a meal time, you would be fed. Never a question.

Out here, "food is for family." Period. There have been numerous occasions when we have been INVITED over during a meal time and they will not only not even offer a glass of tap water, but they will actually pull out food for themselves and eat in front of us.

I learned that I had to send snacks with my dd if she was going over to a friend's house after school because the mother would provide snacks for her own child, but not guests. Same with being invited over for dinner -- it did not actually include FOOD.

One time early on before we know the rules, my dd was invited to a sleep-over beginning after school on Friday and continuing until 4pm on Saturday. When I went to pick her up, the mother complained to me that dd had been grumpy for the last couple of hours. I asked dd what was wrong and she said she was starving and hadn't eaten since lunchtime at school the day before. I was perplexed and made a comment about her not being picky and refusing to eat what Mrs. X had offered. Mrs. X laughed and said, "Oh, we didn't feed her. Food is for family only."

Before people jump on me, I'm not saying my experience is universal. But has certainly been nearly 100% universal FOR US when we are dealing with people native to this state to the point where when someone offers me food/bev, I ask where they are from and they are NEVER from here.

No wonder we expect to be paid for feeding people at a wedding.

 

[Mkrop]

The regional difference between the midwest and living back east (I've lived in NYC area, upstate NY, MA, RI and DE, as well as doing lots of travel involving vistis to client homes in the southeast) has to do with food and hospitality. Back east, it was the norm when you visited someone to be offered a drink (not a cocktail, just a beverage) and often, food. And certainly, if there was any visiting over a meal time, you would be fed. Never a question.

Out here, "food is for family." Period. There have been numerous occasions when we have been INVITED over during a meal time and they will not only not even offer a glass of tap water, but they will actually pull out food for themselves and eat in front of us.

I learned that I had to send snacks with my dd if she was going over to a friend's house after school because the mother would provide snacks for her own child, but not guests. Same with being invited over for dinner -- it did not actually include FOOD.

One time early on before we know the rules, my dd was invited to a sleep-over beginning after school on Friday and continuing until 4pm on Saturday. When I went to pick her up, the mother complained to me that dd had been grumpy for the last couple of hours. I asked dd what was wrong and she said she was starving and hadn't eaten since lunchtime at school the day before. I was perplexed and made a comment about her not being picky and refusing to eat what Mrs. X had offered. Mrs. X laughed and said, "Oh, we didn't feed her. Food is for family only."

Before people jump on me, I'm not saying my experience is universal. But has certainly been nearly 100% universal FOR US when we are dealing with people native to this state to the point where when someone offers me food/bev, I ask where they are from and they are NEVER from here.

Holy Mackeral!

 

[Michelle67]

The regional difference between the midwest and living back east (I've lived in NYC area, upstate NY, MA, RI and DE, as well as doing lots of travel involving vistis to client homes in the southeast) has to do with food and hospitality. Back east, it was the norm when you visited someone to be offered a drink (not a cocktail, just a beverage) and often, food. And certainly, if there was any visiting over a meal time, you would be fed. Never a question.

Out here, "food is for family." Period. There have been numerous occasions when we have been INVITED over during a meal time and they will not only not even offer a glass of tap water, but they will actually pull out food for themselves and eat in front of us.

I learned that I had to send snacks with my dd if she was going over to a friend's house after school because the mother would provide snacks for her own child, but not guests. Same with being invited over for dinner -- it did not actually include FOOD.

One time early on before we know the rules, my dd was invited to a sleep-over beginning after school on Friday and continuing until 4pm on Saturday. When I went to pick her up, the mother complained to me that dd had been grumpy for the last couple of hours. I asked dd what was wrong and she said she was starving and hadn't eaten since lunchtime at school the day before. I was perplexed and made a comment about her not being picky and refusing to eat what Mrs. X had offered. Mrs. X laughed and said, "Oh, we didn't feed her. Food is for family only."

Before people jump on me, I'm not saying my experience is universal. But has certainly been nearly 100% universal FOR US when we are dealing with people native to this state to the point where when someone offers me food/bev, I ask where they are from and they are NEVER from here.

What the heck state are you in???? My family is in the midwest, and in their homes and every home they ever took me to practically the first words out of a host's mouth were "have you eaten?" Whether you say you have or haven't, they're still always pulling out a plate of cookies, a cake, some sweetbread, or SOMETHING. I have a compulsion to poke food at everyone that walks through my door, and that's exactly where I got it from.

No matter where you are, I can't imagine having children over for a sleepover and not feeding them. That's insanity.

I'm not saying you aren't telling the truth...I'm just wondering if you have moved into a town full of crazies that don't fairly represent the region.

 

[Feralpeg]

The regional difference between the midwest and living back east (I've lived in NYC area, upstate NY, MA, RI and DE, as well as doing lots of travel involving vistis to client homes in the southeast) has to do with food and hospitality. Back east, it was the norm when you visited someone to be offered a drink (not a cocktail, just a beverage) and often, food. And certainly, if there was any visiting over a meal time, you would be fed. Never a question.

Out here, "food is for family." Period. There have been numerous occasions when we have been INVITED over during a meal time and they will not only not even offer a glass of tap water, but they will actually pull out food for themselves and eat in front of us.

I learned that I had to send snacks with my dd if she was going over to a friend's house after school because the mother would provide snacks for her own child, but not guests. Same with being invited over for dinner -- it did not actually include FOOD.

One time early on before we know the rules, my dd was invited to a sleep-over beginning after school on Friday and continuing until 4pm on Saturday. When I went to pick her up, the mother complained to me that dd had been grumpy for the last couple of hours. I asked dd what was wrong and she said she was starving and hadn't eaten since lunchtime at school the day before. I was perplexed and made a comment about her not being picky and refusing to eat what Mrs. X had offered. Mrs. X laughed and said, "Oh, we didn't feed her. Food is for family only."

Before people jump on me, I'm not saying my experience is universal. But has certainly been nearly 100% universal FOR US when we are dealing with people native to this state to the point where when someone offers me food/bev, I ask where they are from and they are NEVER from here.

Wow! That is just bizarre! I grew up in the Midwest (Iowa and Missouri) and that was never the case where I lived. Maybe, it is something particular to your particular area. May I ask where you live? I don't want to visit there if I'm not going to be fed!

 

[Liberty Belle]

The regional difference between the midwest and living back east (I've lived in NYC area, upstate NY, MA, RI and DE, as well as doing lots of travel involving vistis to client homes in the southeast) has to do with food and hospitality. Back east, it was the norm when you visited someone to be offered a drink (not a cocktail, just a beverage) and often, food. And certainly, if there was any visiting over a meal time, you would be fed. Never a question.

Out here, "food is for family." Period. There have been numerous occasions when we have been INVITED over during a meal time and they will not only not even offer a glass of tap water, but they will actually pull out food for themselves and eat in front of us.

I learned that I had to send snacks with my dd if she was going over to a friend's house after school because the mother would provide snacks for her own child, but not guests. Same with being invited over for dinner -- it did not actually include FOOD.

One time early on before we know the rules, my dd was invited to a sleep-over beginning after school on Friday and continuing until 4pm on Saturday. When I went to pick her up, the mother complained to me that dd had been grumpy for the last couple of hours. I asked dd what was wrong and she said she was starving and hadn't eaten since lunchtime at school the day before. I was perplexed and made a comment about her not being picky and refusing to eat what Mrs. X had offered. Mrs. X laughed and said, "Oh, we didn't feed her. Food is for family only."

Before people jump on me, I'm not saying my experience is universal. But has certainly been nearly 100% universal FOR US when we are dealing with people native to this state to the point where when someone offers me food/bev, I ask where they are from and they are NEVER from here.

What the hell?! Where do you lived? I've lived in Michigan, Ohio, and Kentucky and have never heard of such a thing!

 

[purplegirl247]

Yeah, what was your daughter supposed to do? Bring her own food?? I've heard of BYOB, but not BYOD (bring your own dinner, lol).

 

[Minnesota!]

The regional difference between the midwest and living back east (I've lived in NYC area, upstate NY, MA, RI and DE, as well as doing lots of travel involving vistis to client homes in the southeast) has to do with food and hospitality. Back east, it was the norm when you visited someone to be offered a drink (not a cocktail, just a beverage) and often, food. And certainly, if there was any visiting over a meal time, you would be fed. Never a question.

Out here, "food is for family." Period. There have been numerous occasions when we have been INVITED over during a meal time and they will not only not even offer a glass of tap water, but they will actually pull out food for themselves and eat in front of us.

I learned that I had to send snacks with my dd if she was going over to a friend's house after school because the mother would provide snacks for her own child, but not guests. Same with being invited over for dinner -- it did not actually include FOOD.

One time early on before we know the rules, my dd was invited to a sleep-over beginning after school on Friday and continuing until 4pm on Saturday. When I went to pick her up, the mother complained to me that dd had been grumpy for the last couple of hours. I asked dd what was wrong and she said she was starving and hadn't eaten since lunchtime at school the day before. I was perplexed and made a comment about her not being picky and refusing to eat what Mrs. X had offered. Mrs. X laughed and said, "Oh, we didn't feed her. Food is for family only."

Before people jump on me, I'm not saying my experience is universal. But has certainly been nearly 100% universal FOR US when we are dealing with people native to this state to the point where when someone offers me food/bev, I ask where they are from and they are NEVER from here.

I have lived in MN for 33 years and have NEVER EVER EVER heard of anything like this! If anything, people are overly generous with feeding others here!

Wow!!

 

[spacemountainmom]

Sure, most commutes here are under 30 minutes. DH is usually home around 5:00 if he drives or 5:30 if he takes the bus (because he gets on the bus later, not that it takes longer). We usually eat around 5:30-6:00. I was a SAHM for most of our marriage so I cooked. It's funny because people in the metro area here complain about "traffic" . Our worst days are better than most cities best days. We never have gridlocks where you sit in traffic not moving or barely moving unless there is a major accident that blocks all the lanes. At worst you might have to slow down to 40 in a 55.

I don't know what part of the twin cities you live in, but I encountered gridlock when I worked full-time and my dh runs into it several times a week on his drive from Plymouth to White Bear.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

The regional difference between the midwest and living back east (I've lived in NYC area, upstate NY, MA, RI and DE, as well as doing lots of travel involving vistis to client homes in the southeast) has to do with food and hospitality. Back east, it was the norm when you visited someone to be offered a drink (not a cocktail, just a beverage) and often, food. And certainly, if there was any visiting over a meal time, you would be fed. Never a question.

Out here, "food is for family." Period. There have been numerous occasions when we have been INVITED over during a meal time and they will not only not even offer a glass of tap water, but they will actually pull out food for themselves and eat in front of us.

I learned that I had to send snacks with my dd if she was going over to a friend's house after school because the mother would provide snacks for her own child, but not guests. Same with being invited over for dinner -- it did not actually include FOOD.

One time early on before we know the rules, my dd was invited to a sleep-over beginning after school on Friday and continuing until 4pm on Saturday. When I went to pick her up, the mother complained to me that dd had been grumpy for the last couple of hours. I asked dd what was wrong and she said she was starving and hadn't eaten since lunchtime at school the day before. I was perplexed and made a comment about her not being picky and refusing to eat what Mrs. X had offered. Mrs. X laughed and said, "Oh, we didn't feed her. Food is for family only."

Before people jump on me, I'm not saying my experience is universal. But has certainly been nearly 100% universal FOR US when we are dealing with people native to this state to the point where when someone offers me food/bev, I ask where they are from and they are NEVER from here.

Holy Crap! That's insane!!

I'm not saying there is a bad work ethic involved at all, but it is a very different perception.

Someone did mention the bad work ethic piece earlier, which is what I was responding to. As to the hours thing, all I can say is it varies from job to job and others have explained it far better than I can (since my hours over the past 27yrs or so have been atypical).

I am lost on the right on red thing and which states allow it!

 

[Minnesota!]

I don't know what part of the twin cities you live in, but I encountered gridlock when I worked full-time and my dh runs into it several times a week on his drive from Plymouth to White Bear.

We used to live in Oakdale and took 694/94 to work in St. Paul each day. We would literally STOP in traffic for 10 - 15 minutes, then sloooooowly roll along and then STOP again. It was like that the whole 10 miles in. I mean seriously - a 10 mile drive shouldn't take 45+ minutes when you are on a freeway.

We moved to White Bear Lake and learned to take side streets Same amount of stop and go, but less frustrating!

Now we live even closer to work and it takes about 15 min. from door to door (side streets)..

I will never live outside the city again...until I retire, that is!

We have been stuck on 494 in Bloomington/Richfield in the morning, too and it is HORRENDOUS!! You don't move for 20 minutes! Hell...it's like that on Sunday afternoons, too.

I am sure our traffic is a million times better than other cities, but there is definite gridlock..

 

[spacemountainmom]

We used to live in Oakdale and took 694/94 to work in St. Paul each day. We would literally STOP in traffic for 10 - 15 minutes, then sloooooowly roll along and then STOP again. It was like that the whole 10 miles in. I mean seriously - a 10 mile drive shouldn't take 45+ minutes when you are on a freeway.

We moved to White Bear Lake and learned to take side streets Same amount of stop and go, but less frustrating!

Now we live even closer to work and it takes about 15 min. from door to door (side streets)..

I will never live outside the city again...until I retire, that is!

We have been stuck on 494 in Bloomington/Richfield in the morning, too and it is HORRENDOUS!! You don't move for 20 minutes! Hell...it's like that on Sunday afternoons, too.

I am sure our traffic is a million times better than other cities, but there is definite gridlock..

I don't know what MN golfgal lives in. It sure seems different than the MN that I call home.

I am suprised to hear that no one drinks iced tea in MN. My family and friends must all be unusual as we are are tea drinkers. Most sit-down restaurants and many fast food places offer brewed iced tea. However, I have never been offered sweet or unsweet here. It is always unsweetened.

 

[sasywtch]

Something else I just remembered from Oklahoma. The funeral processions there where everyone pulls over to the side of the road. In 7 years I never did find out if it was a law because when I asked someone, they were shocked everyone else in the country didn't do it. In CA, you turn on your lights if you are following the procession but it's not a law to pull over. Usually you try to be courteous but you don't pull over and sit on the side of the road. Usually they are turning or running the light and you sit there while they all turn to let them all be together.

 

[golfgal]

The regional difference between the midwest and living back east (I've lived in NYC area, upstate NY, MA, RI and DE, as well as doing lots of travel involving vistis to client homes in the southeast) has to do with food and hospitality. Back east, it was the norm when you visited someone to be offered a drink (not a cocktail, just a beverage) and often, food. And certainly, if there was any visiting over a meal time, you would be fed. Never a question.

Out here, "food is for family." Period. There have been numerous occasions when we have been INVITED over during a meal time and they will not only not even offer a glass of tap water, but they will actually pull out food for themselves and eat in front of us.

I learned that I had to send snacks with my dd if she was going over to a friend's house after school because the mother would provide snacks for her own child, but not guests. Same with being invited over for dinner -- it did not actually include FOOD.

One time early on before we know the rules, my dd was invited to a sleep-over beginning after school on Friday and continuing until 4pm on Saturday. When I went to pick her up, the mother complained to me that dd had been grumpy for the last couple of hours. I asked dd what was wrong and she said she was starving and hadn't eaten since lunchtime at school the day before. I was perplexed and made a comment about her not being picky and refusing to eat what Mrs. X had offered. Mrs. X laughed and said, "Oh, we didn't feed her. Food is for family only."

Before people jump on me, I'm not saying my experience is universal. But has certainly been nearly 100% universal FOR US when we are dealing with people native to this state to the point where when someone offers me food/bev, I ask where they are from and they are NEVER from here.

I have NEVER encountered this ANYWHERE I have been in the US, let alone in the Midwest. I think you need different friends.

We used to live in Oakdale and took 694/94 to work in St. Paul each day. We would literally STOP in traffic for 10 - 15 minutes, then sloooooowly roll along and then STOP again. It was like that the whole 10 miles in. I mean seriously - a 10 mile drive shouldn't take 45+ minutes when you are on a freeway.

We moved to White Bear Lake and learned to take side streets Same amount of stop and go, but less frustrating!

Now we live even closer to work and it takes about 15 min. from door to door (side streets)..

I will never live outside the city again...until I retire, that is!

We have been stuck on 494 in Bloomington/Richfield in the morning, too and it is HORRENDOUS!! You don't move for 20 minutes! Hell...it's like that on Sunday afternoons, too.

I am sure our traffic is a million times better than other cities, but there is definite gridlock..

The ONLY time I have run into traffic like this is under major construction or a bad snowstorm. What were the circumstances of you sitting STILL for 20 minutes?? I really don't believe this was an every day occurance. I traveled all over the metro for my job before I retired and NEVER ran into traffic like this that wasn't the result of major construction, a bad accident or a major snowstorm. Now, last summer when they had every exit going into Woodbury blocked off on 494/696-that traffic backed up, but it was never at a standstill for 20 minutes, ever.

 

[golfgal]

I don't know what MN golfgal lives in. It sure seems different than the MN that I call home.

I am suprised to hear that no one drinks iced tea in MN. My family and friends must all be unusual as we are are tea drinkers. Most sit-down restaurants and many fast food places offer brewed iced tea. However, I have never been offered sweet or unsweet here. It is always unsweetened.

What fast food place offers brewed iced tea???

 

[Liberty Belle]

Something else I just remembered from Oklahoma. The funeral processions there where everyone pulls over to the side of the road. In 7 years I never did find out if it was a law because when I asked someone, they were shocked everyone else in the country didn't do it. In CA, you turn on your lights if you are following the procession but it's not a law to pull over. Usually you try to be courteous but you don't pull over and sit on the side of the road. Usually they are turning or running the light and you sit there while they all turn to let them all be together.

We (well, most of us) here in Kentucky pull over or just stop until the procession goes past us.

 

[spacemountainmom]

What fast food place offers brewed iced tea???

Chipotle
McD's

I'll admit I don't order it too often at fast food cuz I do the drive through and don't want to deal with tea and sweetener in the truck.

I also tend not to order it in fast food places since one of the news stations did a report a few years ago about how nasty the tea was. I have a more faith in the sit down restaurants, but I probably shouldn't!

 

[Michelle67]

We (well, most of us) here in Kentucky pull over or just stop until the procession goes past us.

I've always done so, but then again my father is from Oklahoma so maybe it's just because he always did? I do notice a lot of other people doing it also, but not all.

 

[Mrs.Toad]

The regional difference between the midwest and living back east (I've lived in NYC area, upstate NY, MA, RI and DE, as well as doing lots of travel involving vistis to client homes in the southeast) has to do with food and hospitality. Back east, it was the norm when you visited someone to be offered a drink (not a cocktail, just a beverage) and often, food. And certainly, if there was any visiting over a meal time, you would be fed. Never a question.

Out here, "food is for family." Period. There have been numerous occasions when we have been INVITED over during a meal time and they will not only not even offer a glass of tap water, but they will actually pull out food for themselves and eat in front of us.

I learned that I had to send snacks with my dd if she was going over to a friend's house after school because the mother would provide snacks for her own child, but not guests. Same with being invited over for dinner -- it did not actually include FOOD.

One time early on before we know the rules, my dd was invited to a sleep-over beginning after school on Friday and continuing until 4pm on Saturday. When I went to pick her up, the mother complained to me that dd had been grumpy for the last couple of hours. I asked dd what was wrong and she said she was starving and hadn't eaten since lunchtime at school the day before. I was perplexed and made a comment about her not being picky and refusing to eat what Mrs. X had offered. Mrs. X laughed and said, "Oh, we didn't feed her. Food is for family only."

Before people jump on me, I'm not saying my experience is universal. But has certainly been nearly 100% universal FOR US when we are dealing with people native to this state to the point where when someone offers me food/bev, I ask where they are from and they are NEVER from here.

Add me to the list of people whose eyes are bugging out of their sockets.

Where do you live? That is just awful! I can't imagine eating in front of a guest and not offering them anything! And on a sleepover?! Your poor dd. That is absolutely ridiculous.

 

[spacemountainmom]

Yeah, I will have to concur about the weird people who only feed their family. You host an overnight and don't feed anyone but your own family??? Very odddddddddd!!!

When I invite people over, they will only leave hungry if it is their choice....not because I didn't have enough food. My kids' friends love me because I always have snacks and pop for their gatherings and if I am caught short.....I order some pizza!

I drove 94 from St. Paul to the Hwy 120 exit for 6 years and what should have been a 10 minute drive took 20-30 almost every day. The last few years I worked, I started taking the back roads. It would still take me 20 minutes, but I kept moving.

 

[NotUrsula]

Add me to the list of people whose eyes are bugging out of their sockets.

Where do you live? That is just awful! I can't imagine eating in front of a guest and not offering them anything! And on a sleepover?! Your poor dd. That is absolutely ridiculous.

ITA -- I always thought that it was just a standard universal etiquette rule that you NEVER eat ANYTHING in front of guests in your home without sharing, and if they decline or you don't have enough to share, you simply don't eat until they leave.

My dad was a cabinetmaker who often worked in people's home, and he used to make it a point to leave the premises for an hour in the middle of the day so that the lady of the house and the children could eat if they were home, because he didn't feel right letting every single client feed him lunch, and they wouldn't eat in front of him if he wasn't eating.

As for the funeral procession thing, I always stop and pull over until the entire cortege passes. Lately I haven't seen anyone get out of their cars and bow their heads unless it is obviously a police, fire, or military procession, however -- that used to be standard practice where I grew up.