Really??? What do you think?

[surfergirl602]

When I say hot pants, I mean shorts (they cover her bottom but not any of her legs). Not sure if that is the same as you mean by hot pants

Here we call those leggings.

 

[surfergirl602]

First off, good for you for letting them be independent. I figure as long as it's covering what it needs to then who cares if it matches. They are kids.

Second, is there any type of regulation about dependents and how they dress on post? If not, then that officer's wife was WAY out of line saying anything to you. You should report her behavior!

Just butting in here, NO, there is no regulation on how to you are to dress your children. YES, she was way out of line for saying that, but reporting her behavior could just stir up a sand storm for OP. It's best to just leave it, honestly.

 

[npmommie]

The "Drive By Mommy" post got me thinking of something that recently happened to me...

My twins are almost 3 and are VERY I-N-D-E-P-E-N-D-A-N-T! When we go places, like Wal-Mart, the Commisary, or the PX, I let them wear what they want.

My DS does a great job...shorts, shirt, shoes...good to go.

My DD however...eh hem.............accessorizes. Tu-Tus, pink (fake) Uggs with shorts..winter hats in the summer(Central TX) you name it.

And ya know what? I let them out like that! They are doing something for themselves and you can see on her face when people compliment her, just how proud of herslf she is.

But sometimes there are ALWAYS people who have to ruin it. I have the biggest problem on post, people stare and make faces.(I mean, lets face it...it takes all kinds at Wal-Mart) But one supposed officer's wife gave me a good scolding for letting my kids out like that. Saying things like, "Honey I know you're young, but you and your children are representng your husband and the U.S. Army and right now your kids look like raggi-muffins(? whatever THAT is)" So she went on and on and even asked for my DH name, rank and unit...I politely refused... I in NO WAY have to give that info to a wife... I left in tears.

Let me just say that even if my kids ARE in the UGLIEST outfits, their clothes are ALWAYS clean, as are they. Their hair is always brushed and they are DEFINATELY presentable. So the issue really was just the clothes. Fortunately this didn't effect my DD in ANY way, but it really got to me...

What do you guys think? Do you guys let you kids dress themselve's for unimportant errands?

I always let them dress themselves, and if its something "unique" oh well!!! they have fun, its cute, they are clean, the clothes are clean, I don't care what anyone thinks!
my kid has gone to the grocery in a blues clues costume in the summer

 

[surfergirl602]

I KNOW!!! LOL...I was so shocked! I live in a supposed "NCO neighborhood" and when we got there I definately thought it would be different.(my DH is only an E3...but it was what they gave us) But like my neighbor said while were disscussing some of the "interesting" people on our block...there are "dirtbags" everywhere...sorry if that offends anyone...her words, not mine, but I do agree.

LOL... this is just one of the many reasons why we choose to never live on post. Everyone is always up in everyone elses business, butting in, telling you how to live, what to wear, complaining about how long your grass is, or how short it is... blah blah...

Everyone is just too packed in together, way too close, and what else is there to do on post for some people other than snoop and get all up in the neighbor's lives?

 

[surfergirl602]

I am curious about this. Does an officer's wife have any authority over an enlisted man's wife? Do you have to give the officer's wife name, rank, and serial number? And what was she going to do with that information, go to the general and say, "I saw so and so enlisted man's wife at the PX with her little girl was wearing a pink tutu" and it's off to the stockade for the soldier? Seems like the spouses should not have a say so..but I am totally ignorant of military life. I appreciate all you guys have to go through to serve your country!

In one word... NO... they don't. But many think they do!!! And those are the ones that you'll have problems with.

I've been on both sides of the spectrum. My hubby was an enlisted NCO until he went to officer's school and is now a captain. I know what its like at different posts to have those wives look down upon you just because of your husband's rank. To find something to b*tch about just because their hubby is a major and yours is not. You don't live in this housing area... you must be dirty, and your family horrible. Those wives really have nothing better to do.

I, on the other hand, will never ever treat my husband's soldiers that way, or their families. They are all invited to the standard "coffees", and "teas", and am nice to them all. We help if they need it. We babysit. Well, I do. LOL I know how it feels to be discriminated against just because of the enlistment part, and I will NEVER treat anyone like that. Ever.

 

[surfergirl602]

My husband is enlisted and I think it is just more outwardly common that enlisted spouses are ugly about it. So many of these spouses have no life. I married my husband at 25 and was educated and worked and had no children. I didin't fit in with most of the lower enlisted spouses and none of the higher enlisted spouses wanted anything to do with me. After a while in the military it's just about your family or the relationships already developed.

My very good friends I made were officer wives and that made it even worse. I might have as well painted an A on myself as I went to the "other side." I was hearing it from old school officer wives that I had no business being friends with officer wives and I was hearing it from enlisted how I was sucking up and trying to make my husband look better and blah blah.

It's all about the people that don't have anything better to do than peek in others windows.

Hee hee, I completely understand! When my DH was enlisted, I worked a full time job. I did have three kids, but we were busy with soccer, dance, voice lessons, etc. so we (meaning I) never got to attend the office wives get togethers, because I was always working. Of course, they were sent out of formality, but my husband was one of two enlisted in the entire office. We were stationed at West Point, and 90% of the soldiers there are officers.

I worked at the Youth Center/ CYS registration office, so I pretty much knew and was friends with all of the families on post because they all came to my building each week, and most of my friends were officers wives. Our children did classes together, etc. and it wasn't a big deal, but at any other post, I would have been frowned upon for it! So crazy.

Now that my husband is an officer, I've had other wives tell me that I *need* to be friends with so and so. I just have to laugh sometimes about how crazy it all is.

We just attended the St. Barb's ball this past weekend, and some of the old school formalities still blow my mind. I really don't like being introduced as Mrs. Insert rank and husband's name here. I truly prefer Melissa. I am not defined by my husband's rank, and hope that someday, that will go away, but I highly doubt it.

 

[LunchladyDoris]

Wow this is making me miss my kids being little, someone quick tell me about tempertantums or someway their kid embaressed them this week.

Umm...my son, daughter and I were at the store yesterday and I told my kids to please be good. They usually are ok at the store but as I was shopping I was looking at something and my kids started giggling. I smiled and asked them what they were laughing at and my son says in the loudest voice "I FARTED" right in the middle of the busy vegetable aisle. I almost died.

 

[MIGrandma]

Please don't worry about what anyone else thinks of what your children are wearing. It is absolutely none of anyone else's business, and I think you're being a great Mom for allowing your children to pick out their own clothes. That woman at the store telling you that you and your children represent your husband, and wanted his name, rank, etc. was way, way out of line. Not her children. Not her business. I think as a parent we need to choose our battles with our children, and clothing choices was never a battle I cared to fight with my children. You letting them have clothing choices at this young age is contributing to their feelings of self worth, and independence, and it makes them happy. No problem with any of that. You keep doing what you're doing.

 

[Soldier's*Sweeties]

Thanks everyone...it makes me feel better to know that I am most likely on the right track with them. AND for the advice from veteren military wives!

 

[TamaraQT]

Personally, I dont care what others think....never did. Having a 3 year old myself, who CAN also dress herself, I do understand. However, I personally do not think a Tu-Tu is appropriate attire to wear as an outfit. So I wouldnt let her wear it. Nor would I let my son outside in shorts and power ranger snow boots in the summer. Playing out in the yard or in the house, fine. But not out in public because I dont find it CUTE in public. I do like for my kids to look adorable, cute and all too. But I choose their public clothes and they choose their play clothes. Same as PJs. I can wear PJs in the house and in my fenced in yard. But I change to something more appropriate when I go out because I would be embarrassed to be seen in PJs in public. And thats how I want my kids to be. Fun and comfy clothes are for family eyes only. But thats how I choose to be. My 3 year old is really really a girly-girl. She always wants to match and be 'just-so' when she goes out. Every hair in place and all. Sometimes she asks me to take her to the bathroom to take off her hat in case she needs her hair brushed. Boy, am I gonna have my hands full when she gets older!!!

If you are ok with the way your kids dress themselves and go outside, then so be it. It is fine if thats what you choose to do. I dont think you need to look for acceptance or permission. How dare anyone make you feel embarrassed or uncomfortable. You have a right to live your life and raise your kids the way you want. Don't worry so much about what other people say.

 

[Sadie Chez]

Umm...my son, daughter and I were at the store yesterday and I told my kids to please be good. They usually are ok at the store but as I was shopping I was looking at something and my kids started giggling. I smiled and asked them what they were laughing at and my son says in the loudest voice "I FARTED" right in the middle of the busy vegetable aisle. I almost died.

Sooo not helping, you were probably embarassed in the store but laughing to yourself all the way home. Man I am so missing those days.

Back in the day Costco used to sell butter in this bucket, it had a handle and all. Well my then toddler decided that this was an awesome hat/helmut thing the little handle fit just perfect under his chin and he wanted to wear it everywhere. Why in his little bucket hat he could do anything, walk on the moon, ski, explore, run into walls. I did draw the line at letting him wear it into the store but everywhere else...eh why not. Just the other day my now 20 yr old who's in NYC was talking to me on skype and he wouldn't let me get a word in edgewise and I needed to tell him something, I tell him loudly "LISTEN YOU OLE BUCKETHEAD" he was so shocked he stopped and I tell him what I needed to say, meanwhile his friend was in the background rolling on the floor and ended up calling him buckethead all weekend. Okay there is some joy in spreading the emberassment back.

 

[Disneycrazy!!]

lol and on top of that having to hear how her husband was a cheap not so nice word because she was upset about my engagement ring having a real diamond. All she could go on about was my ring and then I go married and she started in on the whole set and how my husband must love me and blah blah. Needless to say I never had dinner at her house or got in her car again!

My husband did help them move out. I tried to tell him not to. He said that he picked up a mattress and urine leaked out..it does not get much nastier than that.

That is just down right NASTY!!!! That just freaks me out that someone could be that lazy and mentally unstable. YUK!!!!

 

[Disneycrazy!!]

Wow this is making me miss my kids being little, someone quick tell me about tempertantums or someway their kid embaressed them this week.

Ok, how about sitting inside the car dealership , talking to a sales rep., and I look over to see my 4 year old digging in his nose. I quickly tell him "STOP IT! That is very nasty!" and slap his hand! He looks over at me and says loudly for all to hear "But MOMMA!! There is something up in there and I GOT to get it out!" Everyone in ear shot just started cracking up but I wanted to disappear!

 

[pinkbriar]

The thing is, the reverse situation can get a bad reaction as well. I was the wife to an NCO and actually lived on Fort Hood for four years. My girls were babies at the time and I dressed them in Gymboree every single day. They looked awesome. And you know what? I later found out that people would be talking behind my back, wondering out loud how the piddly little E5's wife could possibly afford to dress her kids so well!
OP, I think that you are doing nothing wrong and sure your kids look fine. Word to the wise though....Hood is a snakepit and the majority of the officers' wives are the biggest b*tches of all....

 

[Briarmom]

I clearly have lived in some sort of bubble my 12 years as a military wife because I've never had this happen to me.
I don't have time for people who suck, so if there is a wife or group I don't like, I don't associate with them. There are plenty of other people to hang out with.

Maybe I missed it, but how do you know she's an officer's wife? Did she say she was?

 

[bumbershoot]

No...there ae no regulations on a service man/women's family besides, I would say, "normal" society rules.

Well that's good.

FIL got into huge, massive trouble in Bremerton while in the Navy, because his wife at the time was busy sleeping with half the base while FIL was away.

It's good that it's changed. Then again, what I'm reading from *some* of the posters on here is that it hasn't completely changed, and people *can*, on some bases/forts/whathaveyou, get in trouble b/c of what their family does.

He evaluates his people based on their work performance, and occasionally when home life becomes an issue ...(... leaving a spouse with no means to care for the house or child...)...

Ooh, really? So an Army man getting ready to come home from Iraq, telling his wife on the phone that he's leaving her, and she can "have" the house (with a big mortgage) and they'll take a loan out on a new car and she can have the new car (with the loan) and he'll take the paid for car...when she's a SAHM and homeschooler...that might be interesting to the commanding officer? She might like to know that, b/c he's trying to leave her with nothing, it seems...

The two men mentioned in my previous post were disliked by their LT because their wives were sleeping around and the husbands failed to "control" them.

Oh man, so it's still happening just like when FIL (who died 3 years ago at 79) was in the Navy?

Wow on the cuteness scale a two year old in a pink tutu trumps anything else I can even think of even puppies and kittens, and you say she added uggs!!! Serioulsy someone would have to be harmonal or unbalanced to not think that was cute.

Very true. In a 2 year old. Maybe up to 5, 6.

Wow this is making me miss my kids being little, someone quick tell me about tempertantums or someway their kid embaressed them this week.

I could tell you about DS suddenly throwing up all over himself, his shoes, his carseat, and even into the back of his socks and shoes, the other day. He was sitting in the carseat at the time (we were pulling into our parking garage! so close to a bathroom and yet so far), so I do not know how it got so far INTO the carseat, let alone the backs of his socks. Cleaning that thing...that was...not fun.

All better now?

 

[monkeybug]

Well that's good.

FIL got into huge, massive trouble in Bremerton while in the Navy, because his wife at the time was busy sleeping with half the base while FIL was away.

It's good that it's changed. Then again, what I'm reading from *some* of the posters on here is that it hasn't completely changed, and people *can*, on some bases/forts/whathaveyou, get in trouble b/c of what their family does.




Ooh, really? So an Army man getting ready to come home from Iraq, telling his wife on the phone that he's leaving her, and she can "have" the house (with a big mortgage) and they'll take a loan out on a new car and she can have the new car (with the loan) and he'll take the paid for car...when she's a SAHM and homeschooler...that might be interesting to the commanding officer? She might like to know that, b/c he's trying to leave her with nothing, it seems...

Probably not that situation, that's what lawyers are for.
I meant if they left for deployment with out giving their wife power of attorney, leaving access to the checking accounts, adding her name to accounts so she can pay bills, things along those lines. It happens a lot, and it's a huge headache for everyone when it does!

 

[monkeybug]

Probably not that situation, that's what lawyers are for.
I meant if they left for deployment with out giving their wife power of attorney, leaving access to the checking accounts, adding her name to accounts so she can pay bills, things along those lines. It happens a lot, and it's a huge headache for everyone when it does!

Though it might be something to have her mention to someone (probably worklife), they might not force the husband to do anything, but they will probably council him. The military does hold it's members to a higher standard, and if he is truly trying to leave his wife high and dry, they MIGHT intervene.
I will say that often times it just turns into a he said/she said mess, and they just refer them to legal council.
She could call work life to get more information, and probably access to free legal advice and counciling. They can also sometimes help with getting emergency funds if necessary.

 

[bumbershoot]

Probably not that situation, that's what lawyers are for.
I meant if they left for deployment with out giving their wife power of attorney, leaving access to the checking accounts, adding her name to accounts so she can pay bills, things along those lines. It happens a lot, and it's a huge headache for everyone when it does!

That's so sad that people do that!

After posting I thought pretty much what you said...that's what lawyers are for. I don't think she's contacted one yet, which I would have done after the first phone call.

Though it might be something to have her mention to someone (probably worklife), they might not force the husband to do anything, but they will probably council him. The military does hold it's members to a higher standard, and if he is truly trying to leave his wife high and dry, they MIGHT intervene.
I will say that often times it just turns into a he said/she said mess, and they just refer them to legal council.
She could call work life to get more information, and probably access to free legal advice and counciling. They can also sometimes help with getting emergency funds if necessary.

Good to know, thank you! Though actually she might not want to take it up with them, if she wants him to continue with his career, as it might be going in a "don't ask don't tell" situation as to why he is divorcing her...she's very focused on keeping things decent for their child, and outing him, if that's the reason, wouldn't be the best for him in helping to support their child.

Thanks monkeybug (love your username!).




OK, back to the topic.

 

[Mrs. Charming]

As long as my DD is clean, I don't give a hoot what she wears. She likes to pick out her own clothes, put on her own shoes (she can't tie yet though) and frankly, I think it's adorable.

I spent the past few days with a friend's kids and they don't have the "freedoms" that DD has, and they're not doing things that DD can do, and they're *years* older. Like, c'mon, you're almost 5, and you can't put your own slip-on shoes on?!!