really don't know what to do

[aschwarz]

Hi all,

I wrote on here a few months back about having a DFTW and ultimately decided against it due to backlash I got from my Disney-loving family. We are having a local wedding and are in the middle of planning now and while I am very excited to incorporate Disney touches to our day, I still feel a little sadness in my heart that I won't ever get to experience a Disney wedding.

Now we are discussing Disney honeymoon plans, and many people keep making rude comments about that as well, asking why we would go on a honeymoon there when we've already been there together twice. Our wedding is in October (we'll be leaving for our honeymoon on my birthday) and I love the fall and Halloween and have never been to WDW during this time, and would love to see it during the low crowds, nice weather, and food and wine time. Plus this time we would take a loooong trip and explore outside Disney and do Universal, which is something we've never done.

We are afraid to go to the Caribbean due to the hurricane season there. I'd also love Europe so we are exploring that, too, but feel it might be very costly. I guess I just feel like people are really rude when they make comments about our choice in honeymoon. They already shot down our dreams of a Disney wedding (I am very non-confrontational so no one but my fiance knows how badly I feel about the whole situation) and it's making me so stressed about every little wedding detail. I would never be this way towards other people's happiness so I can't understand why they treat me this way.

Sorry for this, I just needed to vent.

 

[bigr3ddog]

Sigh. I don't have much to offer other than it is supposed to be your day. What matters most is whether what you are doing for that day will make you happy. If you really really want a Disney wedding, maybe you need to relook at your options. Maybe you have your wedding now but for an anniversary you and your husband do a vow renewal as a memories collections ceremony and then a private dinner. Just a thought.

As for the honeymoon, I don't get why everyone else is upset. Are they coming with you? Don't answer that, but just something to think about. Halloween is a great time to visit.

I don't envy your position. My parents don't get the Disney thing either, but they recognize that it is our wedding.

 

[aschwarz]

Hi @bigg3rddog, I would love a vow renewal there. We talk about that all the time. I hope we have the means to do that, whether it's one year, five years, or thirty years down the line

As for the honeymoon thing.. my parents want to do a big family trip when my sister gets out of college, and that will be in spring 2015, so they feel by us going in fall of 2014, there is no point. But my parents only go to WDW in the winter due to my dad's work schedule, so the earliest this family trip would happen would be winter 2016. That's a long time and I don't like planning my life around other people! They feel like we're going too many times or something. It just bothers me to have to dictate not only my wedding but my honeymoon around other people. That's not how it should be.

 

[Lorelei528]

I don't understand why people care where you go on your honeymoon....

DH and I had only been to WDW once (his first trip) before our DFTW. His family (from Ireland) had never been...

That being said, we have been back 4 times since the wedding in May '09 and will be going back again this December.

We bought into DVC on our honeymoon because we'd know we'd want to go back at least every other year....

So what if you've been there twice before together already? Do what you and DF want to do. People return to WDW year after year, for years....

I wouldn't let what others think about where you spend your time and your money bother you or influence your thoughts on what you both really want to do.

 

[bigr3ddog]

As for the honeymoon thing.. my parents want to do a big family trip when my sister gets out of college, and that will be in spring 2015, so they feel by us going in fall of 2014, there is no point. But my parents only go to WDW in the winter due to my dad's work schedule, so the earliest this family trip would happen would be winter 2016. That's a long time and I don't like planning my life around other people! They feel like we're going too many times or something. It just bothers me to have to dictate not only my wedding but my honeymoon around other people. That's not how it should be.

I would play the Halloween time is different in WDW card. You can go to MNSSHP and food and wine. Their coming over a year later is more than plenty of time to pass before another trip.

 

[aschwarz]

Hi @lorelei528, you are so right, but part of me is torn, too. I want to see the world and visit a tropical island or tour a fabulous European country or do something different. But.. I've always dreamed of wearing those newlywed Mickey and Minnie ears! I fear that if we go elsewhere I'll be dreaming of Disney. Sounds lame, I know, but I can't help it. I know we'll have a great time anywhere we go, but I guess I feel "safe" going to Disney. It's a guaranteed great vacation and, to me, worth every penny, ya know?

 

[aschwarz]

I would play the Halloween time is different in WDW card. You can go to MNSSHP and food and wine. Their coming over a year later is more than plenty of time to pass before another trip.

That's a great idea. Everyone who knows me knows that Halloween and fall is my thing. I'm already buying decorations for my new apartment! Thanks for your kind thoughts

 

[scanmom]

about your choice for your honeymoon!!!! You and DF are the ones that are taking this trip, not anyone else. And a trip a year later with family will be a much different type trip than a trip with just the 2 of you. You do not have to justify your decision with anyone. And as far as going to Europe, well, you are obviously wanting to go to WDW much more, so do what you want.... it's YOUR honeymoon.

 

[DisneyDork712]

I know this is what everyone always says, but maybe they are just jealous! DH and I had a WDW Disneymoon, and had the best time! We wore the bride and groom ears, and were so lucky to have such a special trip!

I know none of our friends who went to the Caribbean, etc. for their honeymoon had as much fun as we did on ours! (Several of them have said as much themselves after hearing about our adventures!)

I would continue to stay excited and positive about it and don't feel the need to explain your actions to anyone. Like others have mentioned, it is your honeymoon!

 

[sambycat]

Go on a dcl cruise to somewhere Bahamian!

 

[wiigirl]

I would play the Halloween time is different in WDW card. You can go to MNSSHP and food and wine. Their coming over a year later is more than plenty of time to pass before another trip.

 

[WDWLover75]

Hi @lorelei528, you are so right, but part of me is torn, too. I want to see the world and visit a tropical island or tour a fabulous European country or do something different. But.. I've always dreamed of wearing those newlywed Mickey and Minnie ears! I fear that if we go elsewhere I'll be dreaming of Disney. Sounds lame, I know, but I can't help it. I know we'll have a great time anywhere we go, but I guess I feel "safe" going to Disney. It's a guaranteed great vacation and, to me, worth every penny, ya know?

Europe isn't going anywhere, neither is the Caribbean. If you have dreamed of something your whole life, don't you think you deserve it? I do. If your friends and family don't understand why you want what you want, that is their problem. The ONLY opinions that should matter for selecting your honeymoon location is you and your fiancé.

Just curious since you mentioned Europe....there's a Disney in Europe, have you considered that option? And from Paris you can take high speed rails to several other countries (either for your honeymoon or start planning an anniversary trip now).

 

[asunnysideup]

Tell them that you're going to Disney for your honeymoon since you're paying for it, unless they'd like to provide you an all-paid honeymoon somewhere else.

Though if you want to try something different, Disneyland Paris is awesome from what I've heard/seen!

 

[ckrisie]

I kinda know how you feel people can be so nosey and down right rude. I sometimes tell people Orlando or just Florida is where i am going on my honeymoon rather than be judged.
Im not ashamed of my choice but i don't want to debate it with someone who has absolutely nothing to do with the decision.
Honestly some people should just keep their opinions to themselves.
Don't let them steal your joy.

 

[aschwarz]

thank you all, you are all very sweet. you have made me feel a lot better

I guess I just feel like landing at MCO on my 25th birthday and the first day of my honeymoon with the most amazing guy ever to have dinner at my favorite place on earth wearing bride and groom Mickey ears.. well.. does it get any better than that?! I told my fiance that it literally gives me goosebumps to think of that dream coming true. So I guess we shall see..

 

[pollypineapple8]

Your family are Disney lovers and they are against u having a Disney wedding? WHY? Did I miss something?

Disneyland Paris is nowhere near as good as Orlando. I go to the Paris one every other year as I live in the UK. It only has 2 parks and in general Paris is so much more expensive. Not to mention the language barrier issue too.

Dont be doing what pleases other people, because in 20 yrs time u will look back and be so disappointed and annoyed at yourself. Because YOUR day will be what everybody else wanted and not what YOU wanted. Dont do what u might end up regretting.

I dont get why your family are making an issue out of a Disney wedding and now a Disney honeymoon?

 

[aschwarz]

@pollypineapple8 yeah, my sister is still in college about three hours away and they were like "well she probably won't be able to make it" due to her studies. I just felt pretty hurt, if she said she wanted to be married in some remote island in Tahiti I'd figure out a way to be there.

We looked at the prices for Paris and for Disneyland Paris and wow, it does seem expensive they think we go to Disney too much I guess, or that we're too obsessed with it. I don't know why anyone else really cares if it's our money (personally I think they're jealous!!) they don't realize how much ridiculous silly stupid fun we have on our trips from start to finish!

 

[schoolbelle]

Just my opinion as a happily married wife of 10 years:

Go whererever whenever you like! You are an adult -- you don't need anyone's permission. Your honeymoon plans are not subject to discussion (your wedding plans either). This is your private time for romance and settling in to marriage.

Make it clear that you expect your sister to attend your wedding wherever it is...family is more important college (she could be home the next morning)

You and your soon-to-be husband are a family now; make the best decision for your family which is just you two (learn this lesson well before you have kids) everyone else can deal.

 

[goteamSy]

Unless they are paying for it, who cares. It's your money, do what you want. It stinks that they can't just be happy for you, but don't let them rain on your parade. Have fun!

 

[NightStar]

Hey! It was my dream to have a DFTW too. My parents were very keen on the idea until they saw the pricing. A lot of my family sure did show their disproval. Aunts and Uncles were horrified that I was having my wedding in a “children’s theme park” . We ended up switching the location to Las Vegas because having a 140+ person wedding complete with open bar and evening reception was extremely costly at WDW and it was a lot cheaper in Vegas. I am very blessed to have my parents paying for my wedding, and they didn’t want to scale down the guest list so no more DFTW. I still feel somewhat sad that I will not be having the wedding I originally dreamed of. But, l just tell myself I can do a gorgeous private vow renewal in the future at WDW .
The honeymoon should be whatever you want! Even if your family disapproves, they aren’t going to be accompanying you on your honeymoon. We are leaning towards having our honeymoon at Disney’s Aulani Resort in Hawaii. I can still get the relaxing beachfront honeymoon and have some Disney Magic. Do whatever makes you happy!