Reality check -- problems with neighbors -- update2 post #60

[HeatherC]

Do not get upset. Just go out and paint it like a hot pink or stripes with tons of colors. Then when they yell you can tell them, "I guess it really didn't look so bad before, huh?"

Just ignore them. People love to have things to whine and complain about. That is their problem ...not yours.

Enjoy all your extra storage!

 

[lunalibre]

I didn't say that the OP shouldn't have built on the property line, just that I can understand why the neighbors are annoyed. I also said that the way the neighbors addressed the issue was 100% wrong.

There's a huge difference between what people can do and what they should do. The OP was totally within her rights to build like she did, but it seems silly for her to be in tears now about the result. She chose not to ask anyone's opinions before proceeding, and now she's dealing with unpleasant consequences.

If she had asked the neighbors before hand and had gotten the response she describes, I'd be right in agreement with the rest of you and would have recommended that she proceed regardless of the neighbors' reaction. But since she never thought to ask ahead of time, she'll never know if they would have been more reasonable beforehand or if a good compromise was possible. The damage is done now, and both families have to deal with it.

Well, actually, we had informed our neighbors. We have saved for years for this construction. I had talked over detailed plans with the wife. I know for a fact I mentioned the storage shed. Actually, I talked to all our immediate neighbors. If someone was going to be horribly offended, we wanted to know. They knew exactly what we were planning. Everyone knew we were planning to start construction this summer. Wouldn't you at least agree that the time to object was before we ripped off the roof?

WRT the shed, IF they had been civil, there was a lot I would have been willing to do to try to improve things even though it was built. I even went so far as to get an estimate for what it would have cost to make it two feet shorter -- essentially tearing it down and rebuilding it -- and I would have been willing to pay that cost IF it would have actually repaired the relationship. We were told even tearing it down wouldn't be good enough.

Apparently, FIVE YEARS AGO, when we built our fence, they were offended because we didn't build the exact same type of fence they did (though they didn't consult us when they built their fence), we don't stain our fence like they do (they didn't consult us either), and ours is UGLY. Hmmm, I haven't seen another fence like theirs in the whole neighborhood -- most people have fences like mine. And gosh, if they had felt that way for FIVE YEARS, why, oh why, didn't they say something before we started all this construction?? We would have spent the money on moving somewhere else. We had no idea we had been such evilly inconsiderate neighbors. If we had known they felt that way, we would have moved.

I really, really was willing to work with people. I think talking over plans for two years is more than enough time to provide input. All it would have taken was for them to have said "We'd appreciate it if we didn't have to see the shed from our pool" -- before or after it was built -- and we would have figured something out. If they had said that after it was built, I absolutely would have done something to fix it. I honestly thought that putting plants out there to hide the shed we built would have been an improvement over the "bare air space" that was there before. I would have taken care to plant evergreen things that would not have left "plant trash" in their pool, and I would have planted everything away from the fence so the fence could be maintained.

For the 16+ years we've lived here, no other neighbor has informed or consulted us about fences, or storage sheds, or the plants they've put in, or the pools they've built, or the decks they've added. We were very upfront with everyone about our plans.

DH is so ticked off at having been screamed at that he doesn't want to spend a dime trying to make them happy, because he doesn't think anything will. I feel stuck. At this point I'd just like to tear the @#$! shed down, but then DH will be mad about all the money we spent for nothing.

 

[natnelliesmom]

I have a similar problem.As long as there is no home owners assoc., you have abided by township rules and regs, and you are indeed on your own property...TOUGH NOOGIES FOR THEM. I currently have a set of neighbors that are insisting my pool ( which is up to code and very costly might i add)ruins their view,is an eyesore(I get compliments on it from everyone else) and how dare I do that without their permission?

If my neighbors were complaining about a pool on my property- I would start laying outside naked! Then it would really be an eyesore!

I have a similar situation with my neighbors two houses over. They have 5 Cocker Spaniels (lovely dogs in general- but not these!). Yes, 5 of them! These neighbors seem to think it is perfectly reasonable to leave these dogs loose and unsupervised all day long while they are at work. They roam the neighborhood, getting into trash cans, chasing people's cats and dogs, barking non stop every time anyone sets foot outside their homes. They have even gotten into my car while I was unloading groceries and spilled my coffee all over my seat! Don't even get me started on all of the poop in my yard!!!
I have dogs myself- but they stay in my yard and don't go outside unless I am with them. I do love dogs.
My problem is this... a neighbor on the other side of the street complained about the dogs and was told to "@*&% off". So they called animal control. The dog warden came and took the dogs- but the owners picked them up later that day and paid the fines.
The neighbor that complained was all of a sudden called to task for the RV that is parked in their driveway. Apparently it's a town ordinance that RVs, boats etc. must be parked out of view of neighboring properties. Now they are stuck paying for a parking place a storage unit one town over. I guess it's a rule that is only enforced if someone complains.
My fear is that if I complain about the dogs- my husband's landscaping trucks will have to be stored someplace else. He runs a business and technically can't have more than one company vehicle on the property.
So we are stuck putting up with noisy, annoying, destructive dogs- out of fear of retaliation!!
I feel your pain OP! Neighbors can be tough to understand. At least yours don't bark at you in your own yard.
I say rise above and just ignore them. Hopefully they'll move away to escape that ugly shed of yours!
-Sarah

 

[kacaju]

Is the basketball hoop the nasty neighbors? If so and if you took those pictures in the afternoon, (it loks like the sun is in front of your shed) I am going to say that it is not the *view* but maybe your shed and new addition is now shading their pool.
As a pool owner it would upset me if I now had shade much earlier in the afternoon due to my neighbors new construction.
Not that I am saying they are right....but maybe that is really their complain. What sounds better... you ruined our view or you took our sun??

 

[lunalibre]

Is the basketball hoop the nasty neighbors? If so and if you took those pictures in the afternoon, (it loks like the sun is in front of your shed) I am going to say that it is not the *view* but maybe your shed and new addition is now shading their pool.
As a pool owner it would upset me if I now had shade much earlier in the afternoon due to my neighbors new construction.
Not that I am saying they are right....but maybe that is really their complain. What sounds better... you ruined our view or you took our sun??

Yes, the basketball hoop is theirs. I took these pictures maybe 30 minutes before sundown. I don't think the addition is blocking much sun to the pool (you can't see the shape of their house, but the shadow from ours overlaps the house, not the pool), but it could very well be that the shed now blocks some sun. I am willing to reduce the height of the shed, despite the cost now that it is built and painted. I'm just not sure that will be enough for the neighbors.

 

[Scurvy]

Yes, the basketball hoop is theirs. I took these pictures maybe 30 minutes before sundown. I don't think the addition is blocking much sun to the pool (you can't see the shape of their house, but the shadow from ours overlaps the house, not the pool), but it could very well be that the shed now blocks some sun. I am willing to reduce the height of the shed, despite the cost now that it is built and painted. I'm just not sure that will be enough for the neighbors.

I am not the one that has to live next to your neighbors, so this advice is worth exactly what you've paid for it, but . . . I would not do anything else to accomodate these people. Their reaction was so over the top that it's clear they are not reasonable people. If they learn that by throwing a fit like this they can manipulate you, there's nothing to stop them from doing that every tme you do something they don't like.

You didn't do anything wrong. It was nice of you to let them know your plans, and if they had concerns about those plans the time to mention that was before you had all the work done. The idea of landscaping to make things look better for them was very considerate, but since they don't want that then you should landscape however you want; don't do it for them. As far as the shadow, that's a shame for them, but that's life. You have every right to use your property however you choose to (as long as you follow city codes, at least) and they have no right to expect you not to use your property as you see fit just so you don't cast a shadow on their property.

Are they the kind of neighbors who would have checked with you before making changes to their property? Would they have altered their plans if you expressed concerns about a shadow or the noise from their pool? If not, then you have gone far above and beyond any consideration you might have owed them.

 

[Anonomom]

Well, actually, we had informed our neighbors. We have saved for years for this construction. I had talked over detailed plans with the wife. I know for a fact I mentioned the storage shed. Actually, I talked to all our immediate neighbors. If someone was going to be horribly offended, we wanted to know. They knew exactly what we were planning. Everyone knew we were planning to start construction this summer. Wouldn't you at least agree that the time to object was before we ripped off the roof?


Yeah, that absolutely changes my opinion. You did what you could, they had their chance to object, and now you have no obligation to accommodate them.

 

[karapp75]

Pictures please- then I'll give you my opinion!

 

[schlepsnort]

Neighbors suck as a rule. I think people would actually get along better if everyone had at least an acre between their homes.
We used to have one nice neighbor, then they moved and sold their home to the people from heck.
They have been the biggest PIA's since they moved in. Actually, in all fairness, the hubby isn't bad, he's reasonable. But the wife is so stuck up.
We had a brewha ha with them the first few months as they felt it was perfectly ok to drive on our property (their driveway runs along one side of our property, the idiot wife can't handle her Yukon and instead of driving on her driveway she was driving halfway onto our property damaging the grass).

We planted some large bushes to slow her down which ticked her off. Oh well!!
So now whenever we go over to that side of our property to maintain the yard if she is driving in or out of the driveway she attempts to hit us with the vehicle.
Seriously, she does. DH was cutting the grass the one day and he had to jump out of the way as she barrelled down the driveway towards him. Another time I was over weed wacking and she actually swerved towards me.
But then again, she also pinned her DH against the house with the SUV as well...
They are a little nutty over there.

 

[lunalibre]

Pictures please- then I'll give you my opinion!

There are pictures in post #27.

 

[lunalibre]

Well, DH and I talked things over again tonight. I don't think it'll change the neighbors' opinion one iota, but I think we're going to cut down the height of the shed. We think we can shrink it 1.5 - 2', yet still keep 6' walls. Sure, we'll have to duck in the door, but I can live with that. It will make the scale of the shed more in line with that space.

I think that's a compromise I can live with. I am doing this for ME, and my own peace of mind. I know nothing will change the neighbors' opinion other than tearing the thing down, and I don't believe they have the right to tell us we can't have a shed at all. I am willing to do what I can to minimize what they see while still keeping it useful for us. If we cut down the height, that would leave maybe 2' - 3' visible over their fence -- way less than if we had put a play fort over there. At that point, I will feel like I made a fair effort to balance their property rights with mine. Again, if they were so concerned about what they saw from their pool, they should NOT have erected a see-through, 6' fence. They needed to put in an 8', board-on-board fence instead. This is small-lot surburbia, after all. You never know what nosy neighbors you might have.

Thanks again to everyone who shared their thoughts and opinions. It really was helpful for me to gain perspective from both my neighbors' point of view as well as mine.

 

[design_mom]

I've been on both sides of this equation... and the bottom line is, if you're following the rules (homeowner's association, city, whatever) then there's really nothing anyone can say about it.

At our old house, our neighbor put up a really ugly storage shed as close to the property line as he could (not even one of those kits -- he built it himself out of plywood). He couldn't really even see it from the windows of his home but I had a prime view of it from my kitchen and my patio. Sigh... It was an eyesore and I was annoyed every time I looked at it and I doubt it did us any favors when we went to sell. But, it was entirely on their property and there was no rule against sheds, so I didn't really have room to complain about it. (I didn't.)

At our new house, our neighbors often commented that they loved how our two yards "blended" together and they could enjoy the openness while sitting on their patio. All was well and good until we got a puppy and spent an entire winter taking her out to pee on a leash. Also with the street getting busier and two small kids, we decided we needed a fence. We purposefully chose the fencing style that would make the least impact on their view (it almost disappears) and we told them of our plans before we put the fence up... but they're still not happy about it. They thanked us for letting them know, but I don't think they've spoken to us since the fence went up. I feel terrible that we've made them unhappy, but I think we did everything we could to minimize the impact on them, so...

 

[lila]

I think you are setting a dangerous precendent in letting these people bully you.

 

[HelenePA]

I plan on putting on an addition to our house in 2-3 years.. I don't plan on telling or asking my neighbors. I like to live on the edge. We don't live in a homeowners association we'll follow town rules and that's it.. when I bought MY house I bought it Not my neighbors. Its MINE MINE MINE! Call me selfish if you wish but I don't care.. My neighbor didn't tell me or ask if she could get new siding she just did it.. I can't believe there are people out there that want to control what other people do to their house/yard etc etc.. if you want to have that much control might I suggest you move out into the woods and build your house with acres of land around you.

 

[dougsmom98]

Well, DH and I talked things over again tonight. I don't think it'll change the neighbors' opinion one iota, but I think we're going to cut down the height of the shed. We think we can shrink it 1.5 - 2', yet still keep 6' walls. Sure, we'll have to duck in the door, but I can live with that. It will make the scale of the shed more in line with that space.

I think that's a compromise I can live with. I am doing this for ME, and my own peace of mind. I know nothing will change the neighbors' opinion other than tearing the thing down, and I don't believe they have the right to tell us we can't have a shed at all. I am willing to do what I can to minimize what they see while still keeping it useful for us. If we cut down the height, that would leave maybe 2' - 3' visible over their fence -- way less than if we had put a play fort over there. At that point, I will feel like I made a fair effort to balance their property rights with mine. Again, if they were so concerned about what they saw from their pool, they should NOT have erected a see-through, 6' fence. They needed to put in an 8', board-on-board fence instead. This is small-lot surburbia, after all. You never know what nosy neighbors you might have.

Thanks again to everyone who shared their thoughts and opinions. It really was helpful for me to gain perspective from both my neighbors' point of view as well as mine.

I think you are being very generous. I would have also been very upset over this whole situation. I hope your neighbors cool off long enough to know what good neighbors they have.

 

[MattysMommy]

You do not have an eyesore.... I would not try to lower the shed down. First, we have a pool - and we have plants all around our pool, we like it to look tropical, and yes we do get plants in our pool, but that is why you have a net to dip them out. If their view is already of a wooden fence, I do not see where a couple of feet of shed would ruin a view - does not even sound like they have one to begin with.


We had a problem with our neighbors (who also happened to be a relaive) when we built our house. Our house is on a 2 acre lot. The neighbor who complained lived 3 houses aways (there are also about 7 acres between the 2houses that seperate us, so we were not even bordering him. Our house is a lot larger than the other houses immediately around us, and it does set up higher, but in comparison to the houses on the other side of the street, it is similar in size. He complained to the county, even had an article in the local paper about how I was ruining his view.... and how now he flet like he lived in the city. There was a huge picture of him planting a tree to hide our house. He really tried to get us to tear down our house. I cried so many times over this and really wanted to move. I was pregnant through this whole battle with him and had made my husband move 60 miles to build in the neighborhood where I wanted to raise our family and we spent a small fortune on this house... so there was not a lot I could do. I was absolutely miserable.

It has been almost 3 years, I love my house it is our home. Our neighbor has quit bothering us, we just don't really talk. It is sad and a little awkward when we do see each other, but I just keep in my mind, I did everything right, and I paid for my house and I am entitled to it. I felt uneasy for a while that he would retaliate, but he did not. We even just build a playset and fort and he did not bother us. It will eventually blow over. Do what is right for your family, it is your money and your property and not theirs.

 

[tlbwriter]

I think you are setting a dangerous precendent in letting these people bully you.

I agree. You are going to considerable expense and effort, and reducing the value and usefulness of your shed, in order to teach these people that if they yell enough, they will get what they want. And they still won't be happy anyway. I wouldn't do a thing.

 

[sashagiselle]

Good luck, the decision is yours of course. But like previous poster mentioned you are setting a precedent and giving them the green light to interfere and make demands on you in the future. With this type of people if it;s not one thing its another. All my good vibes to you!

 

[roscoepc1]

Could you perhaps just change the style of the roof instead of actually lowering it?

A mansard style would have a slightly lower profile, but not comprimise the interior height.

Otherwise...while I know it would help short-term, I don't think lowering the shed is going to shut them up....they simply sound obnoxious.

Perhaps you could build an 8 ft board fence on YOUR side of their see-through fence???? Might bring more peace long-term.

 

[lunalibre]

Hey folks,

While we'll still get an estimate on the cost to reduce the height of our shed, I'm now less inclined to do the work. I have been talking to various neighbors up and down our street as I've seen them over the last week, gathering opinions. No one else has any objections to our addition or our shed. Also, we aren't the first people to be on the receiving end of screaming fits by the U's. Apparently we should count ourselves lucky that it's taken 10 years to have our first incident. Yikes! I thought maybe we had been inadvertantly inconsiderate -- and maybe we were. I sure should've checked on the height of the shed while it was being built -- good ol' hindsight. Anyway, the last straw for me was finding out that they had SUED A KID over a schoolyard fight. I remember that fight -- their kid wasn't even hurt, and was possibly the instigator (not clear) -- and THEY SUED. Unbelievable.

So, since we have escaped the major construction and painting phase without any actual damage to their property (only perceived damage), we may well leave things as they are rather than risking a construction accident of some sort. It's gonna be a pain when it comes time to paint the house again.

Maybe if they move and the new family is reasonable, we'll consider lowering the shed then.

No longer being on speaking terms with the U's is proving not to be a loss.

Thanks everyone!