*Rant* My daughter's teacher is going to fail her before school even starts...

[robinb]

I do believe that is the difference. When I gathered the information that I was able to get, I did go by the fact that last year we only had one game before school started. This year, there are 2 games.

Even though I understand the Band Director's side on this, your situation just stinks! Is it possible that you can arrange for your DD to go to one of the games and spend the rest of the time on vacation with you?

 

[daughtersrus]

I got the impression that the OP couldn't reschedule due to work commitments.

From what it sounds like, the last part of Aug and early Sept are the only time that the OP and her DH can take a vacation. Having the schedule earlier really wouldn't have mattered. In checking the schedules for the previous years, there were games before Labor Day. Reason would indicate that this year would probably be no different. To me, it sounds like the OP knew that her DD would likely miss at least one game but took the risk and schedule the vacation anyway.

 

[MaryAnnDVC]

The problem I see with schools/activities these days is that there is little room for kids who are doing the activity as a hobby. Whether it be Marching Band or Football, there are kids who are there because it is a HUGE part of who they are and is part of where they are going in life (looking for scholarships, etc.).

Other kids, though, are doing it because they enjoy it, but it is not the "be all, end all" of their lives. For these students it's unfair to say that the only options that you have are to quit the fun activity or give up your family time/vacation. If it is just a hobby for them some of these rules and regulations start to sap the fun out of the activity.

My son is a senior in HS this year and has no plans to play soccer in college. Other kids do. However, here and how, he is as committed to THIS team as any other, as it should be. We have made a huge commitment, always, to teams. It's interfered with going away at times (3 day weekends are prime soccer tournaments dates), but we made a choice to be on a team, and planned accordingly. And he's my last child, and in the whole scheme of things, it all went by rather quickly.

Couldn't she just come home a few days early and stay with relatives/friends?

That's what I'd do.

We live in RI, and a team manager of another soccer team was telling me recently about an example of commitment. A soccer player was also in band, and for some reason the HS graduation date was switched to the following weekend, which also happened to be a soccer tournament in southern NJ, 4+ hours away. He went to the tournament, played Friday night, played half the game on Saturday, they drove back to RI and played in the band at graduation, and then drove back to NJ for the final game on Sunday, then home. Now THAT's dedication.

 

[Pembo]

Even though I understand the Band Director's side on this, your situation just stinks! Is it possible that you can arrange for your DD to go to one of the games and spend the rest of the time on vacation with you?

Just found your thread...I was thinking of this too...maybe if she only misses one game it won't affect her grade? And lesson learned for mom.

 

[ccgirl]

My husband and I can only take vacation in August.

You keep saying that your husband and you can only take vacation in August. Why did you let your DD sign up for somethign that required a commitment in August? What would happen if you took vacation outside of that? That is how I have my DD treat her education/extra curricular activities. If my DD was told she could not take time off school or her activities she would not. Period. I would not vent about it. Rules are rules. If she cannot make the commitment she should withdraw.

Good luck with your decision.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

I agee and after reading the law it just confirms my belief that the govt thinks that not only should they control your kids and family life during the school year, they should also control it before school actually starts.

School attendance is mandatory for graduation--participating in those activities are completely voluntary. If one volunteers to do them, then one is expected to meet what it requires or simply keep to activities that only follow the start and end dates of the school year.

It is rather simple and has nothing to do with the govt trying to control anyone. That is quite a conclusion to draw for an activity that is not obligatory.

 

[DWGal210]

OP, I sympathize that you are in this bind BUT band is a committment....and as long as she's there, it is what it is.

However, I DO agree with a PP that noted there doesn't seem to be much room for those kids who are casually interested. But we all know this, unfortunately you have to work around what IS and not what you'd like it to be.

 

[MaryAnnDVC]

However, I DO agree with a PP that noted there doesn't seem to be much room for those kids who are casually interested.

You're on the team/in the band, or you're not. There aren't two lists for the "totally committed" and "casually interested" with two different sets of rules.

 

[StacyMarie]

Yes, I went by last year's football schedule which had one game before school started. I scheduled our vacation for that time knowing that she would probably miss one football game hus dropping her grade to a C for the trimester. This is the ONLY time of year my husband and I can take a vacation because of work. I scheduled our vacation with as many facts as I was given and what information I had from the previous year. My daughter would not miss any required rehersals, band camp, etc. However, because there are 2 home football games this year before school starts, that would drop her grade to an F for the trimester and to her that is not acceptable.

My family is not afforded the luxury to just "reschedule the vacation". We live in the real world where my husband and I have work committments that only permit us to take vacation the week before Labor Day.

I appreciate the discussion and everybody's opinions! I am glad that this did not turn nasty as some other threads have. Thanks for the support either way, whether you agree or disagree

 

[phorsenuf]

The football game schedule was not released to us until a month ago when I sent the initial e-mail. Believe me, I tried to get it ahead of time. I also had to basically BEG for band camp dates so she would not miss that. The dates for band camp were given to me in March, after much groveling, but at that point the football schedule had not been released and I was told it wasn't even created yet. I am not sure if that is true but that is what I was told.

When I scheduled our trip, at that point my daughter was not missing ANYTHING.

Did you not read the other posts? I was given the band camp schedule in March, which I had to basically beg for. I was told in March by the athletic director that there was a preliminary schedule for the next school year's football games but it was too early to release it because it was not final.

When I scheduled our vacation, my daughter was NOT GOING TO MISS ANYTHING according to the information that the school and BAND could provide for me. So, I supposed to wait and schedule our family vacation on the school's time frame?

I think a lot of people would at least agree with me on that part that it takes a lot of time to schedule a vacation. I do not have the luxury of being able to plan a vacation only a couple months out. I need time to save money, arrange time off of work, etc. When our vacation was scheduled, I worked with the information that both the school and the BAND were willing to give to me.

Scheduled the vacation last year, final booking in March when I couldn't wait any longer for information because of needing to give work the absolute final dates in order to get the time off. Either way, the information I needed was not afforded to me at that time so I went with what I had. Yes, mistake on my part but I am not afforded the luxury of scheduling a last minute vacation. I have to plan for time off and coverage at my job, my husband's job, etc. I am not asking for special treatment, I am asking for fair treatment.

I do believe that is the difference. When I gathered the information that I was able to get, I did go by the fact that last year we only had one game before school started. This year, there are 2 games.

So going into all this you knew that last year there was a football game scheduled before school started. Why are you so surprised then that there are some this year too.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

It is too late now...

But in the future, you can look at what was done in the past to determine I'd there is a potential for conflict.

I too like to plan a year ahead. I am already planning our summer next year. We are moving to an area where the school system is mch differen. Starts nearly a month later and ends about a month later than we are used to.

My kids activities follow the school calendar. When seeking what we will do....dance for example...even if they don't know the exact date, I asked how it was done in the past. At least then, I will have an idea. I don't make assumptions. And you assumed you would be fine even though it has been posted that your state exempts extra-curricular involvement to the law governing commencement of the school year.

I'd be upset as well, but you should acknowledge that there were ways to at least have some idea. I.e. If for the past 10 years, football season started before school...it would be likely that it would be that way this year. But if they always started games in September, one would reasonably expect this year to be no different. Your vacation argument would be much more valid.

So--how was football/marching season scheduled in the past? (and yes---you should have asked!)

Yes, there is life outside of band and sports and she also has the choice NOT to join the band. The WHOLE point is this girl made a COMMITMENT to the band, period. It doesn't matter when anything happens, she said she would be in the band and she is missing 2 performances that are required. Your son would be kicked off our football team for missing practices/scrimmages, starting or not. It isn't about "football" or "band" it is about teaching kids responsibility.



You dont have to believe me for "one second"! I made very attempt to get the football schedule by making numerous phone calls, including to the atheletic director of our school, etc. to find out this schedule back in March when I was able to get the schedule for band camp. I was told that there was a preliminary schedule but it would not be released to the public UNTIL IT WAS FINALIZED in case changes needed to be made. I was told it was "too early" for the schedule to be released. Maybe where you come from it is different, but here that is what I was told and could care less if you believe me! I have been respectful to everybody's opinion on this thread, even thanking people for their opinions. You don't have to ruin a good conversation by being the first to get nasty.

 

[mhsjax]

School attendance is mandatory for graduation--participating in those activities are completely voluntary. If one volunteers to do them, then one is expected to meet what it requires or simply keep to activities that only follow the start and end dates of the school year.

It is rather simple and has nothing to do with the govt trying to control anyone. That is quite a conclusion to draw for an activity that is not obligatory.

Not really quite a conclusion, I was responding to the law in Michigan that someone quoted. I think lawmakers know darn well that most kids are going to be involved in something, in fact schools highly encourage it, and then it sates that families should not schedule vacation in August even though school hasn't offically sarted, sounds pretty controlling to me. You don't have to agree with it, but believe me it isn't too far out there and there are a lot of people that also feel this way.

 

[golfgal]

That is nice that it works out. It sounds like you don't have a show band.. here the show band does awards and festivals and the marching band is sort of "just there" so to speak. My son can play other instruments but his point is "why should I" if I can stay inside.. I asked him once if he wanted to do marching band and he was just like .. :why....

We have 8 concert bands, 4 jazz bands, several ensembles, about 1/2 of the all-state band it usually made up with members from our high school. Our band kids are involved in many state and national contests throughout the year including national level contests for marching band. Marching band is a BIG deal in our school. It is by audition only and only the top band students are admitted. We are VERY lucky to have such a large program for a school our size. We have 3 full-time band directors in the high school and 5 in the middle school. There are about 1800 kids in our high school 9-12th grade and about 1/2 of them (850) are in the band program.

The problem I see with schools/activities these days is that there is little room for kids who are doing the activity as a hobby. Whether it be Marching Band or Football, there are kids who are there because it is a HUGE part of who they are and is part of where they are going in life (looking for scholarships, etc.).

Other kids, though, are doing it because they enjoy it, but it is not the "be all, end all" of their lives. For these students it's unfair to say that the only options that you have are to quit the fun activity or give up your family time/vacation. If it is just a hobby for them some of these rules and regulations start to sap the fun out of the activity.

If they want to participate they have to pay the price so to speak. They can't just be part time members. Our kids like band, they are not going to make a career out of anything musical. They knew full well going into marching band that it is a HUGE commitment but they were willing to make that commitment so they are in band. It really is as simple as that. Quite honestly, the band kids would be the ones to push out the kids that aren't willing to work because they take great pride in doing well and they don't want kids that aren't willing to work hard in the band. If kids want to be in band but don't want to put the time and effort into marching band they can be in one of the concert bands instead.

They would not give me the preliminary schedule AND my husband and I can ONLY take vacation at the end of August, first part of September. Sorry, I couldn't schedule in June or July!

Knowing this why would you let your DD sign up for band in the first place???

 

[StacyMarie]

You keep saying that your husband and you can only take vacation in August. Why did you let your DD sign up for somethign that required a commitment in August? What would happen if you took vacation outside of that? That is how I have my DD treat her education/extra curricular activities. If my DD was told she could not take time off school or her activities she would not. Period. I would not vent about it. Rules are rules. If she cannot make the commitment she should withdraw.

Good luck with your decision.

It requires a committment in August except for the last week. My daughter is a sophomore this school year and last year, her freshman year, we were able to take our vacation the week before Labor Day without it conflicting with her band schedule. I was told last year that the kids are given a break after they get home from band camp, that they are given the week before school starts and that there are no practices. I scheduled our vacation by what I was told last year. We were home in time last year so she did not miss the first home football game.

This really all boils down to there are 2 home football games before school starts this year and because she is missing both of them, she will be given an F. If she were only missing one, she would be given a C, which is what I went by when the vacation was scheduled. She was willing to take the C when I scheduled so I went with it. Mistake on my part, yes!

 

[ols386]

When I was in band in H.S., we practiced for the whole month of August, every weekday, twice a day, in preparation for our annual State Fair Marching Band Competition. We knew in advance what the requirements were, and had to make the commitment to participate in all the practices, etc.

I think if you know in advance what all the requirements are, then that's what you have to be willing to do. If you don't want to follow the requirments, then you don't sign-up for band (or sports, or whatever activity/class).

We also had at least one football game before school actually started, and the band membes were required to attend and perform.

 

[StacyMarie]

So going into all this you knew that last year there was a football game scheduled before school started. Why are you so surprised then that there are some this year too.

Missing one football game would give her a C. Seeing as for years, there has only been one football before Labor Day, she was willing to miss the game and take a C. This year, there are 2.

 

[phorsenuf]

Why can you only take vacation in August?

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

I know for a fact, I am friends with 2 parents whose 2 students will be missing because of it being a holiday weekend and they are going camping. I am not asking for special treatment, I am asking for fair treatment.

Fair enough.

Are they also missing the week before?

Maybe one game is excused, but not two in a row.

Perhaps instead of your dd not havin favored status with the director that she has crossed the limit for which exceptions are made.

Are other students being excused for missing 2 games in a row?

 

[ols386]

It requires a committment in August except for the last week. My daughter is a sophomore this school year and last year, her freshman year, we were able to take our vacation the week before Labor Day without it conflicting with her band schedule. I was told last year that the kids are given a break after they get home from band camp, that they are given the week before school starts and that there are no practices. I scheduled our vacation by what I was told last year. We were home in time last year so she did not miss the first home football game.

This really all boils down to there are 2 home football games before school starts this year and because she is missing both of them, she will be given an F. If she were only missing one, she would be given a C, which is what I went by when the vacation was scheduled. She was willing to take the C when I scheduled so I went with it. Mistake on my part, yes!

Sorry, I didn't see your post until after I posted.

I'm surprised your dd is willing to accept even a C. I think you mentioned in your op that she is a very good student, and works hard for her grades, which is very commendable.

 

[phorsenuf]

Missing one football game would give her a C. Seeing as for years, there has only been one football before Labor Day, she was willing to miss the game and take a C. This year, there are 2.

Well I would think with school starting later than it would be obvious she could be missing more than one game. If you looked back at last years schedule I bet there were 2 games scheduled for that time frame. School was in session so it probably fell on that week.


Does that make sense? I couldn't figure out how to word it right.