Rant about the ex.......long

[Ready to go in Ok]

OK, some background first. My DH and I are happily married, and we each have custody of our children. One of his is now in college, but we still have 3 at home. My ex is also remarried, and now has 2 babies. I hope this doesn't come across as a bitter ex, but maybe I am just a little. When the ex and I split, he was a raging alcoholic, addicted to Loritab, and cheating like crazy. Good riddance I said.

However, we have 2 girls together. He saw the girls 3 times after the split.....5 years ago. I offerred to meet him half way, which he took me up on, until he realized that we weren't going to reconcile, then he lost interest. He is extremely angry at me for not getting back together, and told his sister, with whom I am still close, that he never called because I might answer the phone. I assured her that I never answer the phone, and he did call twice, about a year and a half ago. I also pointed out that they both have a cell phone, so he doesn't even have to call my house.

Well last year, he remarried, and he and his new wife were having a baby. I thought ***? He doesn't take care of the kids he has, he wants more? According to what everyone says, he isn't paying child support because he never works, how is he going to support a baby? Oh well, I thought, I feel sorry for his wife and his baby.

Baby is born, they move from place to place mooching off of everyone, stealing, using drugs, etc. and right before child welfare is involved, move back in with his mom so she can help with the baby. Guess what happens? Yep, wife gets pregnant again. This baby was born a few days ago with 2 clubbed feet, a hole in his heart, and has apnia. The thought of the ex having a special needs child is terrifying.

Am I just being bitter for being angry that the ex continues to procreate while taking care of none of the existing children? I feel so sorry for the babies especially. My girls are well taken care of, but these poor little babies.....who knows what will happen? I think he should be castrated!

 

[MagicKingdom05]

Ready to go in Ok,

Maybe I will be in the minority, but I don't think your bitter at all. If I was a female and in your shoes I would be a little ticked as well.

 

[RitaZ.]

I've seen this happen before and I always feel sad for the innocent baby that has been brought into the situation. It's totally irresponsible and selfish of the "parents", but, evidently, they don't see that. What can you do? Unfortunately, nothing. Since the "parents" have no jobs and no future to look forward to, they have to occupy their free time somehow. Getting it on without protection appears to be their preferred choice.

I feel especially sad for the new baby with special needs.

 

[disneylizzy]

It's cliche but .... you need a license to drive a car, go fishing and sell ice cream, but any moron can have a baby (or two). I feel sorry for the babies.

 

[Ready to go in Ok]

Ok, I feel a little better just getting it off of my chest. Too much self analyzation maybe. I will never sit here and say I am not somewhat bitter about my ex. He treats my kids like dirt, and that infuriates me. But it is hard to sort out why you are feeling angry towards a guy you have so many angry feelings about. Some justified, some not. I am just thinking this one is justified.

 

[MissMinnie]

Your feelings are justified. Just be there for your kids like you have been because they are hurting too. Even if their father isn't being a father to them, they will still think of him as such. My DH went through a similar situation (minus the chemical dependancy, there were other issues) and even well into adulthood, he still hurts about the non relationship he has with his dad. My DH keeps trying to let it go and forge some type of relationship with his father, but nothing seems to make the old man care. It is sad. Some people age but never grow up.