QWEST SELLS YELLOW PAGES FOR $7 BILLION; HIGHEST PRICE EVER PAID FOR FREE ITEM FOUND IN DRIVEWAY
Phone Books Price Tag Surprises Many at Companys Yard Sale
Embattled telecom giant Qwest Communications sold the Yellow Pages yesterday for $7.05 billion, believed to be the highest price ever paid for a free item found in the driveway.
The surprising ten-figure sale occurred at a company yard sale held to avert a bankruptcy filing, said Roy Helton, a Qwest employee who helped run the yard sale.
We were just throwing stuff in the back of our Explorer to bring it to the yard sale, and my wife said, Hey, how about those Yellow Pages? Mr. Helton said, referring to a phone directory that had just been delivered and was still sitting in the driveway.
So I said, Sure, what the hey, but I never thought in a million years that anyone would buy it, Mr. Helton said. Nobody ever pays for the Yellow Pages theyre free.
Contrary to his expectations, Mr. Helton said, the Yellow Pages were snapped up at the yard sale by the Carlyle Group and Welsh, Carson, Anderson & Stowe.
To say I was surprised that they paid several billion for a phone book is putting it mildly, he said. There were perfectly good copying machines and printers sitting right next to it on the table.
On Wall Street, telecom analyst Carla Bollinger of Credit Suisse First Boston said that the $7 billion price tag garnered by the Yellow Pages may inspire troubled companies to sell other free items found in driveways, such as supermarket circulars and Chinese takeout menus.
*****Borowitz Reports****
Phone Books Price Tag Surprises Many at Companys Yard Sale
Embattled telecom giant Qwest Communications sold the Yellow Pages yesterday for $7.05 billion, believed to be the highest price ever paid for a free item found in the driveway.
The surprising ten-figure sale occurred at a company yard sale held to avert a bankruptcy filing, said Roy Helton, a Qwest employee who helped run the yard sale.
We were just throwing stuff in the back of our Explorer to bring it to the yard sale, and my wife said, Hey, how about those Yellow Pages? Mr. Helton said, referring to a phone directory that had just been delivered and was still sitting in the driveway.
So I said, Sure, what the hey, but I never thought in a million years that anyone would buy it, Mr. Helton said. Nobody ever pays for the Yellow Pages theyre free.
Contrary to his expectations, Mr. Helton said, the Yellow Pages were snapped up at the yard sale by the Carlyle Group and Welsh, Carson, Anderson & Stowe.
To say I was surprised that they paid several billion for a phone book is putting it mildly, he said. There were perfectly good copying machines and printers sitting right next to it on the table.
On Wall Street, telecom analyst Carla Bollinger of Credit Suisse First Boston said that the $7 billion price tag garnered by the Yellow Pages may inspire troubled companies to sell other free items found in driveways, such as supermarket circulars and Chinese takeout menus.
*****Borowitz Reports****
I think with the new management at Qwest, you have a great chance. 
