Quick Opinion on Birtday Party Invite DD rec'd

[patsal]

DD received a birthday party invitation yesterday for a party to be held on Friday. The party is to be from 3pm to 6pm. So I'm thinking as a parent that if I didn't really want to have a party or wanted to keep the numbers down this would be the way to do it! Invite on very short notice, use a strange time (by the way the time conflicts with the set up time (4-5pm) for the Science Fair which runs from 6:15-8). DD is disappointed becasuse I can't let her go--I don't get home until 3:30, the science fair is her repsonsibiliy to set up (with my help of course). I guess I could understand if they were preschoolers, but these are 5th graders.
What do you think?

 

[Pam]

I would politely call the parents to RSVP my regrets and mention the late notice and the prior commitment to the science fair.

Sounds as though this was a last minute decision and maybe the parents don't know (or care) about the science fair.

I have had parents call and invite my kids to parties with less than 24 hours notice. Surprisingly, those ones were some of the ones my kids recall with total clarity.

 

[Miss Inga Depointe]

I think people are just very disorganized and don't get their acts together very well sometimes.

I'll bet a bunch of people will call and say they can't come and they'll remember about the science fair and they'll reschedule.

 

[golfgal]

I suppose it depends on your area. A party from 3-6 is pretty common here for all ages since the parents just pick the kids up from school and bring them to where ever the party is, then the parents of the invited kids can swing by on the way home from work and pick up their children.

Are all the kids in the 5th grade part of the science fair? Is it possible that the birthday child is not and therefore the mom wasn't paying attention to the set up time?

The last minute thing doesn't bother me because at this age, that is how most of our kids' parties as well as their friends parties are planned. No one does anything elaborate anymore so it is usually a last minute take a few friends to the movie or have a sleepover type party.

 

[Christine]

A lot of people have actually started giving short notice to parties because of the growing RSVP "problem." If you give someone 3 weeks notice for a party, inevitably, they will wait around and see if something better comes up. Darned if you do, darned if you don't.

I would definitely RSVP and explain the science fair conflict. If that weren't there, the mother may be more than willing to transport your child to the party. They often do this at my son's school when they have the afterschool parties.

 

[patsal]

The fifth graders are the oldest kids in the elementary school. Most are participating. Though this child may not be. I've RSVP'd DD's regrets and I will purchase a small gift for her to give to her friend. I feel badly because I tried to "balance" it but the only way it would work would be for me to 1. not go to work and 2. set up the science fair for her. Taking the day off of work so she can attend a party is insane. Setting up the Science fair for her doesn't seem appropriate as it should be her responsibility.

I'm all about the simple casual get together--I don't think birthday parties should be over the top, but I do believe that things should be somewhat organized. School gets out at 2pm, and DD goes to Daycare for the 1 and 1/2 hours until I get out of work. We have never encountered a party with such short notice and during this time frame. It sounded bizarre to me, but now that I read some of hte responses it makes a bit more sense.

 

[powellrj]

Short notice parties are pretty common around here. Thats why I keep a supply of gift cards and birthday cards in a drawer.

 

[DawnCt1]

The fifth graders are the oldest kids in the elementary school. Most are participating. Though this child may not be. I've RSVP'd DD's regrets and I will purchase a small gift for her to give to her friend. I feel badly because I tried to "balance" it but the only way it would work would be for me to 1. not go to work and 2. set up the science fair for her. Taking the day off of work so she can attend a party is insane. Setting up the Science fair for her doesn't seem appropriate as it should be her responsibility.

I'm all about the simple casual get together--I don't think birthday parties should be over the top, but I do believe that things should be somewhat organized. School gets out at 2pm, and DD goes to Daycare for the 1 and 1/2 hours until I get out of work. We have never encountered a party with such short notice and during this time frame. It sounded bizarre to me, but now that I read some of hte responses it makes a bit more sense.

Often it is possible to car pool to a party with another child who is attending. She could have left the party an hour early to set up the Science Fair as well. I don't think the time was unusual and a few days notice for a birthday party doesn't seem like a big deal to me.

 

[pozey]

The first thing that pops out to me is the early time on a school day. What time do your kids get out of school? The elementary school my boys go to doesn't dismiss classes until 3:40.

I also would not mind the short notice. I agree with the above poster who mentioned that if you give 3 weeks notice, a lot of people will forget about it if they don't RSVP immediately.

As for the conflict........well conflicting events happen. Just tell the parents of the other child that your DD already has a commitment to the Science Fair.

 

[TammiMcMan]

My DD is in the 4th grade and with a few exceptions over the years, most of the b-day parties she's been invited to have been right after school. If a friend has a working parent, there's always at least one mom driving a car pool.

With regards to notice, we typically receive the invitation about 7-14 days in advance. I actually like that better, because it is fresh on my mind. You always feel bad when you have a conflict, but it happens. That was very thoughtful of you to pick up a small gift. Hope your DD has a great time at the Science Fair.

 

[pixiemomma]

3-6 on a Friday is an odd time for a party. (My son doesn't even get off the bus until 4.) If it was Saturday or Sunday I would feel differently.

 

[pansmermaidzlagoon]

I tend to agree with the OP - I wonder if it isn't to keep the numbers low....this just happened to us last week. DD got an invite Thurs am before the bus for a Saturday party!!!!!!! - to me, that is just rude and I would never do it to someone else. Saturday was DH's birthday and we had made plans to meet his family, if we had known sooner we could have rearranged the time. The worst part for me was my DD's disappointment at not being able to join her friends.

 

[patsal]

I tend to agree with the OP - I wonder if it isn't to keep the numbers low.... The worst part for me was my DD's disappointment at not being able to join her friends.

Around here we usually get the invites about 2 weeks before the party. I've never seen a weekday afternoon party--if it were for a Saturday or Sunday I wouldn't have given it a second thought. I hate to say no to DD when she wants to go to a friend's party--I'd really have to jump through hoops to make the changes necessary to get this one to fly. Honestly, DD was great about it last night when we talked, it was just awful at first though when I had to say no.

 

[Hannathy]

Before I just said no I would find out if she could set her exhibit up earlier for the science show - this time may have been picked just thinking parents would be out of work and there would be no problem with doing it earlier- and go later for a bit of the party. I always feel so bad when my kids have to miss something.

 

[Brianne]

Because I have to plan things out a good week or two ahead, something like this wouldn't have worked for me at all. It's happened to us before but my kids know & understand that they can't go to every party---and with 3 in school, you can imagine how many invites we've seen.

I think you made the best decision considering all the circumstances.

 

[ozarkmom]

my kids have gotten invitations 2 weeks in advance and 2 days. There's even been a call on Sat.morn about a party that evening (that hacks me off)
Alot of the parties my kids have been invited to were also right after school with some of the moms that don't work picking up the kids after school.