Question for those who've had trouble conceiving (back from the dr 1/21)

[lovemygoofy]

I know that there is a TTC thread but I also wanted to hear from those that have been there did that and have the baby to prove it.

After much talking, crying and convincing of my primary care doctor, she agreed to send me to a gynocologist. Although, I was told that they couldn't really help me at this time because I don't have "proof" that we had been trying to conceive for the last year or more.

The problem is that alot of medical staff here doesn't understand the time crunch I"m feeling because of this small window of nondeployable though my husband is TDY for most of this year off and on.

Now here is what I need for those that have had this problem. What can I ask the doctor? What kind of tests can I start asking for ? I tried charting last year and it showed me nothing at all and when I thought I had a chart flow going my cycle would jump early or late and mess it all up.

Please give me some suggestions that I can be discussing tomorrow with my doctor. I feel so discouraged and unsupported by the medical community and I can't just switch doctors. It's not that easy around here. Any and all help is very much appreciated.

 

[NHdisneylover]

Tina. I have no suggestions and no right to have clicked on the thread but I wanted to offer support and a hug You are always such a kind voice and one of reason on these boards. I am so sorry you are having this struggle. You may enjoy the thread called In Need of Guidance over on the LGBT board. Jenn started it when she was trying to decide what to to about infertility and it has just grown from there. We have been laughing and crying with her for a long time and I am thrilled to say she is pregnant right now

 

[hucifer]

Hi Tina.

My husband and I tried for 6 years to conceive and...nothing. I asked my OB GYN about a year into trying. He scheduled tests for both of us to rule out any problems. I had two tests: first they did an ultrasound to ensure there weren't any internal physical issues, blockages, etc.

My second test was the dye test where they inject dye into your uterus and they check for blockages on a screen. You can see the dye actually moving through -- it was amazing to watch. Oftentimes, they said, the dye will force any extra material in the tubes out of the way that may have been hindering conception, and that many people get pregnant afterwards.

My husband's test was that they checked his sperm count and mobility.

After reviewing the test results, my doctor declared that nothing seemed to be wrong. And that we go back to trying for a few months. If it didn't work, he could prescribe me some fertility drugs.

Well, I am not one to take medication -- even for conception -- so we kept trying for five more years without any drugs.

Finally...I saw an acupuncturist. After three months of treatment, I was pregnant.

Hugs to you. Nobody truly understands the pain of infertility until they've gone through it themselves.

 

[KirstenB]

We had our first dd when I was 31 no problem. The 2nd dd took 3 years. My doctor prescribed Clomid, and I took 5 rounds of it. The last one took, or she was going to send me to a reproductive specialist. I'm sure my age was the problem at that point (38).

Not saying that is a problem for others, but the first baby was so easy, the 2nd, not. Anyway, my doctor would have tried the Clomid much earlier, but I didn't realize my age was such a factor at the time, and was a little in denial.

 

[golfgal]

Tina--do you need a referral to an OB/GYN?? I know in MN that is one specialist that you never need a referral to under state law .

As for proof-so what, make it up if you need to.

I am no where near the fertility expert but when we first started talking about having kids and I started charting I made my chart too big-meaning I charted by the 1/2 degree vs the 10th degree. Once I changed that I did notice a pattern otherwise it looked like a straight line.

That is about all the help I can give. You are going to make a GREAT Mommy when the time comes

 

[ferrytale]

Well I am currently 16 weeks pregnant after trying for almost 2 years. We had DS with no issue, but when I stopped my pills to start trying for #2, my cycles went all crazy. They put me on Progesterone to stimulate them which worked, but only when I took them. Doc didn't want me getting too frustrated so said after about 6 mos they usually recommend seeing a fertility specialist, which I didn't want to do. I decided to trust my gut and go back on the pills to try to even out my system for a few months and then try again. When I came off of them the 2nd time, my cycles were long but regular for a few months so I was more hopeful - but still went about 5 months with no luck, then (ironically b/c we are on DIS) we went to WDW in Sept, came back and I hadn't gotten my monthly gift so I tested, and was pregnant!
I know it may not be much of a help, but I trusted my gut feeling and didn't let them make me go to the fertility doc. Try to de-stress, and start eating healthy(if you don't already) and take vitamins.
I did have an ultrasound and some bloodwork done, but everything was normal which is why I insisted on trying it my way first.
I wish you all the best, I know how frustrating it can be.

 

[Sleepy]

Tina--do you need a referral to an OB/GYN?? I know in MN that is one specialist that you never need a referral to under state law .

As for proof-so what, make it up if you need to.

It is not that simple when you are dealing with the military. There is no state laws....only federal. They want a long documented history for everything and yes, she needs a referral unless she intends to skip the drawn out process of denial and referrals and just pay out of pocket and go to a civilian doc.

 

[lovemygoofy]

Thanks, everyone, so far for the stories and support.

I have the referral all done. I received approval in Novemember early but could not schedule an appointment until tomorrow, over 2 months from the time I called.

I'm 31 now and will be 32 in October. I know I"m still relatively young as people keep telling me but what I cannot get through people's heads is that I feel this time crunch, not because of age but because of proximity to my husband. It's hard to get pregnant by email. It possible, I'd have more babies than the Duggars

What are somethings I can start asking for like bloodwork or an ultrasound? What things would I want checked in bloodwork? I really want to know everything ya'll had tested so I can go in armed and educated. Right now I'm hormonal, have pneumonia and just feeling scared and discouraged that I'm going to get anywhere.

In the end, should our babies already be somewhere in this world waiting for us to find them, I am prepared for that but I want to know what or if I can do anything medical wise to kickoff this baby making thing other than the obvious. I thought I was too old for booty calls but I guess once a month for almost the rest of this year, I'll be flying to see my husband.

 

[Sleepy]

Tina, I hope you don't mind me adding my 2 cents, but I know how much you have been through and I also know the uphill battle you may face....


I wanted to add that Tina seriously needs for you all to be very specific in tests, bloodwork, procedures, etc because the military will not always voluntarily discuss ALL options available. The less they have to do for you the more money they save the military. They are hoping the patient is as little educated as possible when it comes to things like these, so she really needs to know specifics.

 

[KimR]

Tina, I'm so sorry you are going through this. I've had issues as well and as for bloodwork, they tested for quite a few things. The only ones I particularly remember are clotting antibodies because that is what came back postivie for me. In addition to that, though, they should do an HSG (where they shoot dye through your tubes), and an US of your uterus. They won't do all of that in one appointment, though. Also, bring your charts with you, they'll probably want to look at those. Your DH should also be tested because if they do find that you a have a problem, say with ovulation, it does no good for you to take clomid if your DH has sperm issues as well.

As an aside, you mentioned your DH being deployed. No, you can't get pregnant via email , but have you considered AI? I know it's not the ideal way, but if you really want a baby, it might be something to consider.

 

[Belle2667]

Hi Tina.

My husband and I tried for 6 years to conceive and...nothing. I asked my OB GYN about a year into trying. He scheduled tests for both of us to rule out any problems. I had two tests: first they did an ultrasound to ensure there weren't any internal physical issues, blockages, etc.

My second test was the dye test where they inject dye into your uterus and they check for blockages on a screen. You can see the dye actually moving through -- it was amazing to watch. Oftentimes, they said, the dye will force any extra material in the tubes out of the way that may have been hindering conception, and that many people get pregnant afterwards.

My husband's test was that they checked his sperm count and mobility.

After reviewing the test results, my doctor declared that nothing seemed to be wrong. And that we go back to trying for a few months. If it didn't work, he could prescribe me some fertility drugs.

Well, I am not one to take medication -- even for conception -- so we kept trying for five more years without any drugs.

Finally...I saw an acupuncturist. After three months of treatment, I was pregnant.

Hugs to you. Nobody truly understands the pain of infertility until they've gone through it themselves.

Sorry you are going through this. Fortunately (or unfortunately depending on how you look at it) I can get pregnant just walking past my husband, but I do remember when I wanted to get pregnant with #2 and how obsessed I was with it. I can only imagine the pain of not be able to conceive.

As hucifer said, a girl at work here had trouble conceiving and had done many fertility tests and things and the one that worked for her was acupuncture. I'm not sure how the military feels about paying for that, but something to add to your list to ask about.

Good luck and may God bless you with a healthy little one!

 

[KimR]

If you need more specifics, here's a link I found from webmd:

http://www.webmd.com/baby/features/fertility-tests-women?page=2

 

[Mickey Fliers]

Hey Tina! A girlfriend of mine, also a Navy spouse, had a long road to pregnancy. She and her husband had all sorts of tests. Turns out the problem was exactly as you described...timing and proximity! He was just never home long enough and at the right time. My hope is that your infertility will be resolved in the same manner. Hopefully this tour in DC will allow him to be home more often than not. Sending lots of baby dust your way!

ETA: And when you do find yourself pg there in DC, let me know. My littlest was born there a year ago and dealing with Tricare was super easy (surprising to say!) You can see any OB that accepts Tricare (there are a lot). You do not need to go the MTF (which would be Belvoir or Bethesda). Maternity care is 100% covered even if you are Prime.

 

[snapppyd]

Hi Tina, just wanted to add my to you. I've seen ads on TV for over the counter tests that tell you when you are ovulating, but I'm sure you already know about them. Sorry I can't add more, just wanted you to know I'm thinking about you.

 

[si-am]

Sorry you are going through this. Fortunately (or unfortunately depending on how you look at it) I can get pregnant just walking past my husband,

Yikes! Not really what people struggling with infertility enjoy hearing. Kind of like a knife digging a little deeper.

Tina, I've been TTC for almost 3 years now and have been through pretty much everything.

There should be a standard "infertility workup" that your doctor will do. I don't remember exactly EVERYTHING that was done at that time, but if you Google it, you should get some specific answers. I know they will do all kinds of bloodwork, and it will have to be on certain days of your cycle to check hormones and everything.

They might also do various kinds of ultrasounds to see if there's anything immediately noticeable that could be causing troubles.

It is really important that your husband get tested, too, because the problem could very well be him and not you.

Unfortunately, they have discovered nothing wrong with me so there's no easy fix in my situation. I do have friends, though, who discovered thyroid problems, PCOS, etc through these tests and were able to get pregnant after going on medication.

Good luck!

 

[mom2travel]

First

We had a bit of secondary infertility - what others were talking about trying to conceive their 2nd child. Nice and quick with the first, and then a year to get #2 (really hard, especially when it seems like everyone around you is announcing their pregnancy). DH insists that we finally got pregnant because we were not thinking about it, but relaxed and on vacation. I have several friends and family with same thing - all those I know about did end up with that precious baby

I don't know what will be best for you health wise or other, but a few bits from friends/family in this TTC category:
Several used IVF - some hit it on the first try with the first baby (3 actually in the same year). Then 2 of those did several rounds for baby #2 and it never "took"; both of those ended up getting pregnant the old fashioned way and have happy healthy 2 year olds right now.
One used clomid to help and it worked after a couple months. They went on to have a #3 without any assistance
Another tried for 6 years and pretty much had given up hope of having a second, and is now pregnant!

So keep your faith and hope. I know it is hard but try to relax. When your DH is home, don't treat it as work and feel pressured time-wise (yeah I know, easier said than done - that ovulation window feels strangling sometimes). There are options if you need them. Perhaps something like clomid would help regulate cycles?

Good luck

 

[Nette]

If your periods are irregular, chances are you are not ovulating, or at least not ovulating every month. That's what the OBs I've seen have told me. So in that case your charting would actually be useful to the doctor.

Also, if you have a lot of pain with your periods (as I did) that is often sufficient evidence for the doctor to do an ultrasound to check for endometriosis.

Hang in there, I had the same kind of problem as you. 6 years trying and more often than not DH was away for his weekend the same time I thought I would be ovulating. I had all but given up when I got that BFP. In fact, I was so set on giving up that I was actually a little upset about getting pregnant. (How messed up is that?) Of course, now I am looking forward to it, but still scared.

Hang in there. Ask about PCOS and endometriosis. Those are probably the most common problems.

 

[Disney Doll]

OK, I have many years of infertility treatments behind me when I was in my 30's (age 32-37), so I feel like I can speak fairly knowledgeably about this topic. Granted, it was 10 years ago (I am 47 now) bt from what I have read about infertility treatment, not too much has changed dramatically, especially since I went to an MD who was pretty cutting-edge at the time.

I will give you some advice. None of it is meant to be hurtful or condescending so please don't take it that way. Believe me when I tell you I know the heartbreak and anxiety you Are feeling and would never make light of it. It is sometimes difficult to read "tone" on the Internet, so I wanted to preface my commments with that statement. My suggestions are in order of what happened when I went through this. Keep in mind they will (and shoould) try the less invasive or high tech stuff first...many people often only need a little "nudge" to get going.

~Bloodwork for both you and hubby for hormone levels. Based on the results, one or both of you may have to take hormones.
~Sperm count for hubby.
~Ask them to check your clotting. One problem many people have is that they can get pregnant but the body almost treats the embryo as if it is a danger and will clot off its attachment to the uterus. Sort of a weird immune reaction type of thing. Discuss whether or not a baby aspirin daily would do any harm.
~I would also recommend taking guiafenesin (Mucinex). This is known to thin mucus in your respiratory system, but remember, vagi mucus is also mucus. If your vagi mucus is a bit thick, it may be hindering sperm motility.
~Ultrasound for you to rule out any really obvious things (blockages, fibroids etc.). Be prepared for the ultrasound to be both abdominal and vagi. I was not, so the vagi part was a surprise. Make sure you ask to void before the ultrasound.
~Hystosalpingogram (HSG) for you which is the dye thing a PP referred to.
~They will usually not go right to thre big guns of in vitro etc. without starting with Clomid, so you'll probably end up doing Clomid for at least a while and it could very well be that this simple solution works for you.
~Nutrition-wise, make sure yours is good. Do a little research on vitamin and herbal supplements for both you and hubby to maximize your reproductive chances. When DH & I were trying, me taking vitamins and him taking several herbal supplements made all the difference.

These are generally the first-line things they do which you should discuss with your MD and often a little "tweak" will work.

Now I will tell you a couple of the emotional things that everyone HATES to hear, but which really do impact this process.

~Do not let the process overcome your life and your marriage. I know you want a child with the man you love. But, if you cannot have a child with the man you love, you won't love him any less, and a different life path will be revealed to you both as time goes on. I have known many people whose focus on fertility ruined their marriage. If you both knew when you met that this might be an issue, and you would have married each other anyway, then focus on that and the happiness you bring each other.
~You also need to relax. I know, everyone going through this hates to hear those words, but when I was going through fertility treatments, the times I relaxed and forgot about it were the times I got pregnant. Unfortunately, I was able to get pregnant but not carry a pregnancy to full-term. DH & I have no children, and adoption wasn't for us for a variety of reasons, but we have been very blessed with friends and family who have generously shared their children with us. It has always been our feeling that children cannot have too many people loving and supporting them, so we have chosen to get our "kid fix" that way. And frankly, now that many of our friends' children are teenagers, with all of the angst associated with those marvelous teenage years, our life isn't looking too bad!

Good luck and feel free to PM me if you have questions. I did the whole gamut of testing/intervention from base line testing to the ICSI IVF, so I am a pretty good resource.

 

[Laura]

I'm not any help with the infertility stuff (I'm among the very lucky women who got pregnant easily--feel free to hate me), I just want to wish you luck and I hope your doctor helps you find answers quickly. You'll be such a great mom.

My parents struggled with infertility for years--my mom had issues. I can tell you it's a wonderful feeling to know that they wanted me and my siblings that much to go through all they did so we could be here.

 

[MiniGirl]

Disney Doll pretty much covered the tests.

I will share that it took us almost 3 years to conceive our first. We went through the test that Disney Doll mentioned. It was discovered that both dh and I had small issues. Issues that probably would not have been a problem by itself but together seemed to be causing a problem. We ended up doing Clomid w/IUIs. Basically, I took the Clomid to give me a "stronger" ovulation, and was then injected with dh's sperm. This way they didn't have to go as far to reach their target. It took a few months but did work.

Oddly enough.... #2 was conceived w/o outside help, but I had been working out and eating much better before conceiving her.

Also, I saw a reproductive endocrinologist for all of this. Can you get a referral to one of those? They deal with infertility a lot more than an ob/gyn.

Like others have said, I know how heartwrenching infertility is. I hated Mother's Day for years even after having our children because it brought back such incredibly painful memories, so I do understand.

Good luck with your appointment.