question for those whose infant/toddler share a room...

[ryan840]

How did you go about it? We live in a two bedroom apt so our boys will have to share a room. My son will be two and a half when his brother is born, and he (the baby) will sleep with us for the first 6 weeks. So what did you do to make the transition easier on your older child- feeling displaced, baby crying at night, etc... ? I am thinking of putting the cradle in our room after the first 6 weeks so he is out of our bed but not disturbing our son all night long, haven't decided yet... Even if we do that, it doesn't change the fact that he is eventually going to have to sleep in there. I'm most worried about them not getting enough sleep, and the chance that my son may try to play with or calm the baby (I'll have baby moniters in there so I can hear what's going on at all times) or just be disruptive in general. I'd love to hear your experiences, thanks!

 

[jorodopo]

Congratulations! Our boys are almost exactly 2 1/2 years apart and they have always shared a room. We kept Patrick in our room in the cradle for about 3 months. Douglas' moved out of the crib about three months before Birthday and into a toddler bed but we left the crib in his room. We started doing naps in the crib first to get the baby used to sleeping in the room. At about 2 months Douglas was very indignant that we "weren't letting HIS brother" sleep in his room. He was quite possessive but he did seem to understand that he wasn't allowed to touch HIS brother unless we were around. (We also put him in charge of not letting other kids touch his brother.)

We would hold the baby while we read to Douglas and then just put them both to bed. It worked most nites. He always slept through the crying. Other noises would wake him but not that. When he noticed that if Patrick fussed we would sometimes let him out of the crib, Douglas started to get out of bed after he was tucked in. We then gave him a "Get out of bed free" card. He could use it once per nite for a kiss or a drink of water but once he handed it over he wasn't allowed out of bed again. Worked like a charm. We moved when they were 5 and 2 1/2 and they stayed in one room even though we now have a spare. We are just now at 9 and 6 1/2 considering splitting them and it is because Patrick likes to chat at bedtime and Douglas doesn't.

The one "second baby" piece of advice that I thought was so valuable was: when you bring in the older brother to meet the baby, have the new baby in the bassinet, not being held by either Mom or Dad. This way it is a neutral thing, they don't think "how can they hug me if they are already hugging the baby?"
Congrats again.

 

[Nanu57v]

I only have one so far, but DH and I had discussed this scenario, as we have 2 bedrooms as well and won't be moving until 2009. Anyway, we plan on using the pack n' play in our room for 6 months. AAP says in parents room for 6 months reduces SIDS.

 

[ryan840]

Thanks for the responses and great ideas!

 

[rt2dz]

We have a 3 bedroom, but 3 boys. The littler two are close in age, so they will share a room. We will leave the baby in the bassinet for 3 months (he's two months now) and then will leave him in our room in the pack-n-play for another 3-6 months. By this time I'm hoping the baby will sleep through the night. AND DS#2 will be ready to be out of his crib (he's only 1). When we evacuated for Hurricane Rita, we all shared one room and everyone (except me) slept through everyone else's crying--make's them sounder sleepers.

 

[PaulaSue]

All 3 of mine share a room. We are a co-sleeping family and having the baby actually helped get my oldest to her room once her sister was older and would sleep in her crib. It really has worked out very well sicne they don't like to be alone at night and the crying has never woke the girls up that I can remember. The girls are used to hearing noise all the time so we never had/tried to be quite for them to sleep.

 

[magicmato]

Mine actually needed to share a room. Neither was sleeping well, being scared at night, etc... so when the baby was about 18 months and her sister around 4, we moved the little one into her sister's room and now they sleep very well. I think just knowing the other is in the room has helped a LOT. And older sister just turns over and goes back to sleep when her sister wakes at night and cries.

 

[ryan840]

Wow, gald to hear that crying shouldn't be a problem! My son sleeps through me rooting around his room at night with the lights on anyway (cleaning and such) so I guess I have nothing to worry about. Famous last words, right...

 

[brymolmom]

Anyone new to this situation should realize that like any sleeping arrangement it goes through ups and downs.

At least that's what we've dealt with. We've had ds (3.5) and dd(2) in a room together since dd was born and ds was 17 months. At first there was a big adjustment - with dd not sleeping through the night. But ds did get used to the crying and can now sleep through almost anything. Naps were a little tough early on though so I put a pack n play in my bedroom and would let the baby nap there on the tough days. Once she was in a good nap routine and would go down easily I would just put her down first, wait 20 - 30 minutes and then put ds down after.

There have been times when I've been frustrated and thought 'wouldn't it be nice if they had their own rooms?' but I think that kids' sleeping patterns go through those frustrating times no matter what - so I really don't think that their own rooms would 'solve' the frustrating times.

Overall - they LOVE sharing a room and I am actually worried about moving them apart eventually.

Enjoy your little ones!