Question for Stay at Home Moms

[MooGooGai]

My niece is neither dirty or unkept.

You said it yourself that she does not know how to pick up

In a previous post I was following, you complained at how much work you had when you came home That your house is a "complete disaster" with FOOD and dishes from the entire day

That sounds a bit dirty to me, but I am sort of clean and like a clean house. So I clean as I go along. I also like to involve my child. Are any of your children 2 or older? They can learn to pick up!

Your children are learning from her. Just remember that. They are also learning from you when you say such things as "20 year olds don't know how to clean up"

 

[ilovesugar]

You said it yourself that she does not know how to pick up

In a previous post I was following, you complained at how much work you had when you came home That your house is a "complete disaster" with FOOD and dishes from the entire day

That sounds a bit dirty to me, but I am sort of clean and like a clean house. So I clean as I go along. I also like to involve my child. Are any of your children 2 or older? They can learn to pick up!

Your children are learning from her. Just remember that. They are also learning from you when you say such things as "20 year olds don't know how to clean up"

Again, you make me laugh. Your so extreme about everything. I am sorry, but a person who does not pick up everything does not mean that they are dirty or unkept, at least to me. To me your saying they don't shower and look all a mess in their apperance. But whatever, I am not going to argue with you about it because your just way to extreme to me.

As for my other post (on the other thread) it was again about SAHM's who think that they are the only ones who clean and they work SOOO much harder at cleaning than working moms.

 

[MooGooGai]

Again, you make me laugh. Your so extreme about everything. I am sorry, but a person who does not pick up everything does not mean that they are dirty or unkept, at least to me. To me your saying they don't shower and look all a mess in their apperance. But whatever, I am not going to argue with you about it because your just way to extreme to me.

OK. Misunderstanding. You did say your home was a "complete disaster" on a daily basis. That is dirty and unkempt to me. Which leads me to believe we really are not on the same page as far as cleanliness. No prob.

Just pray your little kids don't think it is normal for adults not to pick up every single day

 

[ilovesugar]

OK. Misunderstanding. You did say your home was a "complete disaster" on a daily basis. That is dirty and unkempt to me. Which leads me to believe we really are not on the same page as far as cleanliness. No prob.

Just pray your little kids don't think it is normal for adults not to pick up every single day

And I hope your kids don't think it is normal for adults to act hollier than thou to make themselves feel better.

 

[Colleen27]

I don't plan anything ambitious for the first week or two of the school year. After having 3 kids home all summer, I leave a little cushion for everyone to adjust before expecting any serious motivation to do more than the everyday routines.

About 2-3 weeks into the year, when we're all used to getting up early to catch the bus, sitting down to homework after school, having dinner early on the nights we have sports practices, and just generally back in the swing of school year habits, then I tackle things one room or one big project at a time.

 

[Colleen27]

I honestly dont understand the SAHM concept-when your kids are in school

I was a SAHM-but worked out of an office in my home. When the kids went to school-I went to the office a couple days a week. But I always worked.

I cant imagine being home-without kids-and doing nothing but housework all day. Isnt it boring?

I guess it depends on your personality. I have no problem filling the time while the kids are in school with things that need doing around the house or with volunteering or other hobbies, and I didn't find being a SAHM to two school aged children boring at all. Plus I've got DH home with me on the days he isn't on a job site, and since his work slows way down in the winter we enjoy spending that time together. I have a 2 year old at home now, so it'll be a while before I have that peace and quiet again.

ETA: Even when I've got a baby or toddler in tow, I do more than housework all day. Maybe that's the difference?

 

[Colleen27]

He cannot miss work for kids illnesses ect and he cannot leave the office early to take kids to appointments and activities.
It all falls on me. It just didn't make sense for me to work.

It is like that for us too. DH is his business; he doesn't have a crew that can run without him on site. So when customers need something done, he needs to be at work for whatever hours it takes to get the job done on time. He can't just take a day off if one of the kids is sick and he frequently can't count on being home at any specific time, so all of the kid duties, sick days, doctors appointments, sports practices, etc. fall to me whether I'm working or not. He's great about working around the house and spending time with the kids when he is home, but the unpredictability of his schedule means I can't depend on him handling specific tasks on specific days.

Since we don't need the money, it just doesn't make sense to invite the extra stress of me working on top of handling everything else.

 

[dogluva]

My sister's step daughter is like that. She is 16 and babysits for us when we go out to dinner. She is amazing and I always pay her more and more each time. She deserves it. My sister does not get along very well with this girl's mother (ex wife issues ), but she always gives her credit for raising her daughter correctly.

I know that there are grownups (ie. 20 year olds) that are dirty and unkempt, but there is no way I would want that around my child

Really? Because they are unkept and dirty? I guess you should make sure your little darlings stay far away from my son who is an honor student, works two jobs, and takes care of his siblings very well because, yes, he is a little bit messy. He has some trouble in this area but no one has asked me to keep him away from their kids.

 

[Colleen27]

Nope-she was married to him for 30 years-he was a high school coach-so no big savings. She volunteered, played tennis daily-and was able never to work. When they divied up their savings, retirement etc-she chose to use most of her "half" to buy out his half of their paid for home (which I think was a big mistake)-so she has a house she lives in alone and now that its 35 years old it needs lots of maintenance.

My point is she never worked-except a desk job 35 years ago-before her kids were born-never went to college, has no computer skills. She was a classic SAHM.

So a 60yo woman who made a foolish decision is an example of why all women should work?

She may have been a classic SAHM for her generation, but I don't think never worked/no education/no skills is typical of most SAHMs now with the marriage and childbearing ages rising. Most of the SAHMs I know have some higher education, whether vocational training or degree, and worked for years before leaving the workforce. And I don't think I know anyone under the age of 60 or so that doesn't have some computer skills.

 

[mumom95]

My point is she never worked-except a desk job 35 years ago-before her kids were born-never went to college, has no computer skills. She was a classic SAHM.

I know A LOT of SAHM and I have to say that description doesn't fit a single one of them. For one thing there isn't a single one of them that doesn't know their way around a computer and most of them went to college, many even have graduate level degrees.

If anything, the SAHM's in this area are well educated women that married well educated men that have good jobs that allow them to stay home.

That isn't saying you have to be well educated to have a good job or stay at home, but the whole mentality that a SAHM that can't take care of herself is for many, many people a thing of the past.

 

[Cinerbelle]

I have gotten so much done today! Thank you everyone!! Who knew a Magic Eraser could clean sooo many things. I am buying stock in the bald guy.

 

[Buckeye Princess]

I always ask my husband which household things he'd most like to see done. He's the neater of the two of us. When I know that he'd like to see our bedroom sparkling or the kitchen reorganized it gives me a little extra motivation and I do those areas first. He is wonderful to me and when he gets home and I see his happiness and get his compliments it makes me feel good. I enjoy doing this for him (although it is for me and the whole family too) because he does so much for me.

 

[C.Ann]

I have gotten so much done today! Thank you everyone!! Who knew a Magic Eraser could clean sooo many things. I am buying stock in the bald guy.

Pretty amazing, aren't they?

My kids are all grown now, but my method was a "list" - and music blaring in the background.. Never failed me..