question for small town sports parents

[dez1978]

I have a question for sports parents that do not live in a large or metro area. What do you do for competitive sports when your kids are younger? My kids LOVE football. And they do play on our youth team. But it's coached by dads, who I really do appreciate, but they spend a lot of time standing around, or running bc they weren't doing something right. And the teams are really small. Like th 5/6th grade team has 14 kids. Same on the 7/8th grade team. So they aren't even practicing tackling except with the dummies bc they don't want anyone to get hurt before the games start. So when they play in an actual game, and get nailed by the other team, they aren't gonna be ready for it.

I know the chances of my kids playing after high school are low, and they are still young. But if thats something they want to do, they are not going to have the same skills as kids who have been playing in like, pop warner teams since they were 5 or whatever. And our school is too small to even get any looks from college recruiters anyway.

So my question is, if you live somewhere like I do, where really all there is is parks and rec or YMCA teams, how do you help your kids achieve their goals? I know there are a lot of parents who take their kids to practices an hour or more away, but how do you do that if you also work full time and the kid is in school? Do you homeschool? Do you send them to a private school? Even that option for me is 45 min away. I do not want to be one of those parents who does all these ridiculous things and spends a ton of money in the hopes that the kid might get a scholarship or something, but if they want to persue it, I want to give them every opportunity I can.

 

[NotUrsula]

IME, promising athletes who are from small isolated communities either spend a heck of a lot of hours in cars, or they move closer to the necessary facilities/coaches. It's common for parents to work opposite shifts so that someone is always available to drive, or if they are lucky enough to have a teammate in the community, arrange very complicated carpooling situations. In a lot of places, when scarcity of practice facilities mean weird practice hours that conflict with school hours, or a need to travel to days-long competitions arises on a frequent basis, homeschooling is also common. In our sport, DD's club has the only nationally-competitive teams in a 200 mile radius, so there are kids who do come in from rural areas and small communities, though it seems that most of them eventually end up moving closer in as the athlete advances in the sport.

I drove home a couple of DD's classmates from HS today; they had an early school dismissal; one of them wondered why there was bedding in my back seat. The other one, on the same team as DD, said, "That's so her Mom can sleep during practice."

We live 15 minutes from DD's primary practice facility, but 75 minutes from the furthest one that she sometimes has to go to, and it's not unusual at all for her to have to be there at 6 am and stay for several hours. It's also in the middle of nowhere, and there's nothing else open at that hour. We're not allowed to come into that building during practice because it has no lobby, so what you see outside for hours is usually a row of family vehicles with sleeping drivers in them, sometimes buried under mounds of blankets because it's really cold out, or sitting with the phone on speaker and a laptop and papers spread all over the front seat while we work remotely.

We don't spend the money in the hope of a scholarship (her sport actually doesn't have athletic scholarships.) We support her participation because it makes her very, very happy to do it, and it has the slight benefit of allowing her to make more money than a girl her age would otherwise be able to, coaching younger kids. We're senior enough in our jobs to have the flexibility to do it, and competing at this level doesn't deprive our other child because he is grown and flown. Also, she has been lucky enough to avoid major injuries, which helps, too.

 

[slo]

I have a question for sports parents that do not live in a large or metro area. What do you do for competitive sports when your kids are younger? My kids LOVE football. And they do play on our youth team. But it's coached by dads, who I really do appreciate, but they spend a lot of time standing around, or running bc they weren't doing something right. And the teams are really small. Like th 5/6th grade team has 14 kids. Same on the 7/8th grade team. So they aren't even practicing tackling except with the dummies bc they don't want anyone to get hurt before the games start. So when they play in an actual game, and get nailed by the other team, they aren't gonna be ready for it.

I know the chances of my kids playing after high school are low, and they are still young. But if thats something they want to do, they are not going to have the same skills as kids who have been playing in like, pop warner teams since they were 5 or whatever. And our school is too small to even get any looks from college recruiters anyway.

So my question is, if you live somewhere like I do, where really all there is is parks and rec or YMCA teams, how do you help your kids achieve their goals? I know there are a lot of parents who take their kids to practices an hour or more away, but how do you do that if you also work full time and the kid is in school? Do you homeschool? Do you send them to a private school? Even that option for me is 45 min away. I do not want to be one of those parents who does all these ridiculous things and spends a ton of money in the hopes that the kid might get a scholarship or something, but if they want to persue it, I want to give them every opportunity I can.

My advice is to not doubt your kids will be able to play in college. If your child has the desire and passion, they may play in college. It will take a lot of time and a lot of money, but the end result is worth it. I’m speaking from experience - my DD19 is starting her freshman year playing college softball. It’s a full family effort that your child will be forever grateful for.

 

[ashley0139]

IME, promising athletes who are from small isolated communities either spend a heck of a lot of hours in cars, or they move closer to the necessary facilities/coaches. It's common for parents to work opposite shifts so that someone is always available to drive, or if they are lucky enough to have a teammate in the community, arrange very complicated carpooling situations. In a lot of places, when scarcity of practice facilities mean weird practice hours that conflict with school hours, or a need to travel to days-long competitions arises on a frequent basis, homeschooling is also common. In our sport, DD's club has the only nationally-competitive teams in a 200 mile radius, so there are kids who do come in from rural areas and small communities, though it seems that most of them eventually end up moving closer in as the athlete advances in the sport.

I drove home a couple of DD's classmates from HS today; they had an early school dismissal; one of them wondered why there was bedding in my back seat. The other one, on the same team as DD, said, "That's so her Mom can sleep during practice."

We live 15 minutes from DD's primary practice facility, but 75 minutes from the furthest one that she sometimes has to go to, and it's not unusual at all for her to have to be there at 6 am and stay for several hours. It's also in the middle of nowhere, and there's nothing else open at that hour. We're not allowed to come into that building during practice because it has no lobby, so what you see outside for hours is usually a row of family vehicles with sleeping drivers in them, sometimes buried under mounds of blankets because it's really cold out, or sitting with the phone on speaker and a laptop and papers spread all over the front seat while we work remotely.

We don't spend the money in the hope of a scholarship (her sport actually doesn't have athletic scholarships.) We support her participation because it makes her very, very happy to do it, and it has the slight benefit of allowing her to make more money than a girl her age would otherwise be able to, coaching younger kids. We're senior enough in our jobs to have the flexibility to do it, and competing at this level doesn't deprive our other child because he is grown and flown. Also, she has been lucky enough to avoid major injuries, which helps, too.

I'm guessing figure skating?

Once kids show promise, they usually move closer to higher level facilities. There is a lot of sacrifice involved with high level sports kids.

 

[sam_gordon]

As others have said, you find a way to make it work. A number of years ago, DS got the opportunity (along with some of his club teammates) to try out for a new team forming in the top level of his sport. The problem... the new team would be two hours away. DS tried out, didn't make it (although I think part of that was before tryouts, I informed him that he had to give up playing the sport for his HS and all but give up his GF because of four practices a week plus weekend games). His teammates did make it. They set up a carpool, and spent a LOT of time on the road. Doing homework traveling to/from practices. All three of them are playing for D1 schools now. I don't know if they got scholarships or not.

I agree it's not too difficult to play (any sport) in college. It does take hard work, dedication, and some element of luck. BUT, that doesn't mean automatically getting a scholarship. You should not look at the money you spend on youth sports as an investment toward a scholarship. Look at it as an investment in your child's enjoyment.

 

[slo]

As others have said, you find a way to make it work. A number of years ago, DS got the opportunity (along with some of his club teammates) to try out for a new team forming in the top level of his sport. The problem... the new team would be two hours away. DS tried out, didn't make it (although I think part of that was before tryouts, I informed him that he had to give up playing the sport for his HS and all but give up his GF because of four practices a week plus weekend games). His teammates did make it. They set up a carpool, and spent a LOT of time on the road. Doing homework traveling to/from practices. All three of them are playing for D1 schools now. I don't know if they got scholarships or not.

I agree it's not too difficult to play (any sport) in college. It does take hard work, dedication, and some element of luck. BUT, that doesn't mean automatically getting a scholarship. You should not look at the money you spend on youth sports as an investment toward a scholarship. Look at it as an investment in your child's enjoyment.

Yes - Absolutely!
It‘s also an investment in learning life skills that can’t be taught anywhere else.

For anyone that spends money on youth sports with the mindset they will get repayment with a college scholarship, needs to understand that is probably not going to happen unless your child is the best of the best of the best. My DD19 is a great softball player, but she is not the best of the best of the best. Her athletic scholarship is a great scholarship (better than we thought she would get), and we are very grateful, but 4 years of this scholarship will not equal what we paid for 7 years of her playing on an elite travel team (player fees, hotels, food, gas, lessons and more). We always knew this, because we’ve done our research and our eyes were always wide open. We always told our DD, during the recruiting process, that she needs to pursue colleges that she wants to go to, and has what she wants to study and whatever the scholarship is is secondary. We never wanted her to think she was limited to what college would pay out the most money or that she only had to play D1. There’s so much to think about in regards to getting recruited and many people think that starts in HS - my DD started writing college coaches and playing in college showcases at 13 years old.

Anyway….the point of me writing all that is to say there’s a lot gained from the sacrifices of helping your child play at a higher level, if that’s what your child wants to do. You have to let them be the guide, because if they are pushed, then they’ll get burned out and eventually quit - I’ve seen this so many times.

Good luck OP - I hope everything works out for your son and your family.

 

[amylevan]

And just to remind you, there’s also nothing wrong with playing sports for the other benefits - fun, teamwork, exercise, commitment, time management, etc. Most kids are not top level athletes.

 

[Poohlove]

We live in a small town and your football experience sounds very much like ours. My son played 6 seasons of midget football, the coaches were dads of kids on the team whose kids got the most playing time, etc. When we played other towns we did not do well - at all Our teams were small in roster and physical size. While it was frustrating at times, my son had a good time and we just rolled with it. My theory being that the less he was in the game the less likely he was to be injured LOL. Baseball was a totally different story altogether, it wasn't until high school that he played outside of our town league and he was recruited by both of the organizations that he played for. As a single parent it was challenging at times but my job is incredibly flexible in the sense that I could leave early when needed as long as my work was done. Sometimes this meant coming in early, coming back to my office in the late evening, or working weekends. My ex helped where he could but his job was about an hour from the area we live in and then he worked nights for while so he was pretty limited in his availability. I also can not talk enough about the value of being organized and doing some pre-planning. I would sit down with our sports and school schedule, open up the weather forecast and make a plan for the week that included everything from what gear we needed (rain boots, heavy coats) to what we were having for dinner.

Some of my takeaways/experiences have been that often times when kids start high school and are presented with different options they change sports. For example, a lot of the girls my daughter played softball with switched to track once they were in high school. I know plenty of parents who spent a boatload of money on expenses too numerous to list only to have their kids' career end with HS graduation, if not sooner sometimes due to injury. The ones who did start out playing their sport in college quickly stopped because the demands were too much.

As a jumping off point you could seek out off season training camps, find a local high school coach who works with kids, etc. to have your kids experience the sport on a different level and see if they still love it afterwards. (Sometimes they become disenchanted when they see what is entailed with playing at a higher level.) Also, you might be surprised to know how word travels among recruiters, not to say athletes are not overlooked but don't discount your town because it is small. Lastly, beware of "elite" organizations, I have seen an explosion of various athletic leagues who make a show of recruiting, holding tryouts, etc. but once the team is "selected" all of the players who were at tryouts coincidentally made the team.

 

[dez1978]

And just to remind you, there’s also nothing wrong with playing sports for the other benefits - fun, teamwork, exercise, commitment, time management, etc. Most kids are not top level athletes.

This what what I meant when I said I know my kids chances of playing after high school are low. I know its like 3% of HS football players go on to play in college and only maybe 1% of those ever play professionally. I'm not at all pushing for that or a scholarship. I'm just trying to figure out a way to help them be successful if thats the path they want to try, when there aren't a lot of options around. Im generally a pretty "lazy" parent and am not going to push them to do anything they don't enjoy doing. And the reason why I initally pushed wrestling (now they both love it). I wanted them to have both a team sport and an individual sport because they learn a different mindset in both.

 

[leahgoogle]

Small town here too. Our school doesn't even have football! The kids who want to play do Pop Warner. There are two programs within a 1/2 hour of here. I feel you on the travel. My daughter just made a travel basketball team and the practices are 45 minutes away and 3X a week....sigh. We are going to give it a go. I work from home so I am able to handle after school traveling.

 

[moniqueand2]

What is the situation like for HS players at your HS? Do most come from the league that is far from you or from your local league? What is the coach looking for? Getting that perspective might be a good starting place.

 

[dez1978]

What is the situation like for HS players at your HS? Do most come from the league that is far from you or from your local league? What is the coach looking for? Getting that perspective might be a good starting place.

It's a tiny school. Like each grade might have 65 kids. And the current HS coach is more about "Faith and Family" than football. Not that there is anything wrong with faith and family, just seems like its odd for a high school football coach to have as a motto. Idk. Heck, they don't even practice tackles or contact during practice in HS. Like it's all about the "brotherhood and friends" and if they happen to win a game, thats cool too. The few kids I know that play in HS said they worked harder in youth football than they ever have in HS. I'm def in the wrong school district for sports lol. We have great facilities, like turf football and baseball fields, nicer than the bigger schools in the area, but they aren't big enough to get noticed. If this is what my kids want to do, I'll have to send them to the private school about 35 miles away that has a huge football program. Heck their feeder youth team (which is one that our team plays) has 90 some kids, they had to spit it into 3 teams. And those 3 teams are sorted by talent already and if they will go to the public or private school in town. Those 5/6th graders are running plays from the high schools and kicking field goals and PATs and have game tape going that they watch. We are practicing tackling dummies in comparison and have 14 kids total. They had their jamboree this weekend. Ended up playing the last part with 10 kids bc 4 got hurt, because none of them have taken a hit or pushed anyone around since last seasons games, other than my kid and one other who wrestle. Its frustrating to watch. And it's hard to watch my kid get so down about it, as his team hasn't one a single game in 2 seasons. But thats totally off topic and just venting now lol.