Question for parent w/ a child w/ a speech delay with a younger sibling.

[ryanshana]

WHEW. That was a long title.

I have a question for anyone that has a child w/ a speech delay that has a younger sibling. My older son, 3, has a severe speech delay. He has been in early intervention since 18 months. And is now in the intermediate unit for preschool for 4, 1/2 days sessions w/ a speech therapist.

So, my question....my younger son 22 months, only has a handful of words. I am really discouraged. The stresses of my older son speech has put a toll on me. And it is painful to think that my younger son might have the same problems. I was thinking of enrolling my younger son in a daycare/preschool setting 3, 1/2 days to see if it is a speech delay or if he is just mimicking his older brother...which I really hope that it is!


Or am I just in denial and should just get him in the early intervention now? Did your younger siblings have speech issues cause of an older sibling's delay?

I just really feel like a failure. I just want to hear my kids speak!!!!

thanks for any input!

 

[Macduffy]

OMG I'm actually having the same issues! My oldest DS (turning 4 in c couple of weeks) was SIGNIFICANTLY speech delayed. He said 3 words at the age of two. While he has caught up in his speech (after enrolling him in daycare and speech therapy).
I am now dealing with my youngest (20 months). He says "No" and that's it. I want to cry.
He just started daycare last Monday and I'm hoping it helps him like it helped my oldest but honestly I've lost all hope at this point. I'm starting his speech therapy when we return from Disney. I'm exhausted - mentally - from all this and want to cry when I hear other kids his age and younger talking.

I'm sorry I'm not help but you aren't alone and I hope that makes you feel a tiny bit better

 

[jms531]

I only have one DD but I wanted to give some support! I know how absolutely painful and draining it is to have a child with a speech delay. DD had no words on her 2nd birthday and about a week after it was like a switch went off and she began rattling off words-some we didn't even try working on her with! And she hasn't stopped! I think some children just develop their own way on their own time. But what was so encouraging is that when she began speaking it was clear to us that she understood what was going on, so all that hard work we spent trying to get her to speak and worried sick that she couldn't understand us was for nothing. She knew exactly what was going on, just wasn't ready to let us know that.

Good luck at any rate. I have never been through anything as emotionally trying as that was and at times I remember just saying day by day. When you start looking too far ahead it's way too overwhelming. Do what you can with each day and end the day knowing you did all you could and you have to try to find a way (I know it's hard!) to take the pressure all off of yourself. What will be will be and at the end of the day no matter how many words they have-they are still the most precious thing in the world

 

[ryanshana]

OMG I'm actually having the same issues! My oldest DS (turning 4 in c couple of weeks) was SIGNIFICANTLY speech delayed. He said 3 words at the age of two. While he has caught up in his speech (after enrolling him in daycare and speech therapy).
I am now dealing with my youngest (20 months). He says "No" and that's it. I want to cry.
He just started daycare last Monday and I'm hoping it helps him like it helped my oldest but honestly I've lost all hope at this point. I'm starting his speech therapy when we return from Disney. I'm exhausted - mentally - from all this and want to cry when I hear other kids his age and younger talking.

I'm sorry I'm not help but you aren't alone and I hope that makes you feel a tiny bit better

OMG are you me???? Another are you me moment is that we leave for disney in 9 days also HA

And trust me it does help. I just want to cry but it does help to know that I am not alone!!

 

[ryanshana]

I only have one DD but I wanted to give some support! I know how absolutely painful and draining it is to have a child with a speech delay. DD had no words on her 2nd birthday and about a week after it was like a switch went off and she began rattling off words-some we didn't even try working on her with! And she hasn't stopped! I think some children just develop their own way on their own time. But what was so encouraging is that when she began speaking it was clear to us that she understood what was going on, so all that hard work we spent trying to get her to speak and worried sick that she couldn't understand us was for nothing. She knew exactly what was going on, just wasn't ready to let us know that.

Good luck at any rate. I have never been through anything as emotionally trying as that was and at times I remember just saying day by day. When you start looking too far ahead it's way too overwhelming. Do what you can with each day and end the day knowing you did all you could and you have to try to find a way (I know it's hard!) to take the pressure all off of yourself. What will be will be and at the end of the day no matter how many words they have-they are still the most precious thing in the world

Thanks for the support I need all the help I can get!

 

[DisneyBabies]

I have a question for anyone that has a child w/ a speech delay that has a younger sibling. My older son, 3, has a severe speech delay. He has been in early intervention since 18 months. And is now in the intermediate unit for preschool for 4, 1/2 days sessions w/ a speech therapist.

So, my question....my younger son 22 months, only has a handful of words. I am really discouraged. The stresses of my older son speech has put a toll on me. And it is painful to think that my younger son might have the same problems. I was thinking of enrolling my younger son in a daycare/preschool setting 3, 1/2 days to see if it is a speech delay or if he is just mimicking his older brother...which I really hope that it is!


Or am I just in denial and should just get him in the early intervention now? Did your younger siblings have speech issues cause of an older sibling's delay?

I just really feel like a failure. I just want to hear my kids speak!!!!

thanks for any input!

You are NOT a failure! You are doing exactly what you should do as a concerned parent.

My DS has/had a severe speech delay. At 2 1/2 years of age he was in the vocal range of a 15 month old. He began speech therapy at 2 1/2 and was just realeased from services at the end of May. He is doing beautifully now and although they released him, he is still being monitored by his teacher and the speech therapist to make sure he stays ahead of the disabillity (although I hate calling it that, it is what it is).

I was worried about my DD who was 6 months old when DS began therapy, but she began speaking early and now has better speech than my son. We did the same things with DD that we had done with DS (reading books together everyday, "playing" with flash cards, having "conversations", exploring in the grocery store) and she picked up and used language very quickly, so it was obvious that she didn't have DS's disability.

It may very well be that your younger son is copying your older son, but if it will make you feel better, you should get your younger DS eveluated. To be honest, getting him evaluated wouldn't hurt anything and may very well put your mind at ease.

Daycare may also be a good thing if you can afford it.

What are you doing at home to help your older DS? Maybe you could include your younger DS when you do speech related activities.

 

[ryanshana]

You are NOT a failure! You are doing exactly what you should do as a concerned parent.

My DS has/had a severe speech delay. At 2 1/2 years of age he was in the vocal range of a 15 month old. He began speech therapy at 2 1/2 and was just realeased from services at the end of May. He is doing beautifully now and although they released him, he is still being monitored by his teacher and the speech therapist to make sure he stays ahead of the disabillity (although I hate calling it that, it is what it is).

I was worried about my DD who was 6 months old when DS began therapy, but she began speaking early and now has better speech than my son. We did the same things with DD that we had done with DS (reading books together everyday, "playing" with flash cards, having "conversations", exploring in the grocery store) and she picked up and used language very quickly, so it was obvious that she didn't have DS's disability.

It may very well be that your younger son is copying your older son, but if it will make you feel better, you should get your younger DS eveluated. To be honest, getting him evaluated wouldn't hurt anything and may very well put your mind at ease.

Daycare may also be a good thing if you can afford it.

What are you doing at home to help your older DS? Maybe you could include your younger DS when you do speech related activities.

Thanks but it still doesn't help me not feel like one. It's just soo frustrating. I just feel like I am doing something wrong. I mean what are the chances that BOTH DS would have the same problem!

I stay at home, so it would be a struggle that's why I am wondering if I should just do early intervention (free), but I am apprehensive cause I don't feel my son improved from early intervention or maybe he's situation is just more severe. It's a long story and I had a horrible developmental teacher and I didn't realize she was bad until he was given a speech therapist too and realized that she wasn't doing her job so in my mind he really didn't get therapy till he was two and a half.

 

[thebeesknees]

Go ahead and have him evaluated. If there is a problem, the sooner he starts getting therapy the better. If he is just copying his brother, they can tell you that and you can stop worrying. My friend has a 5 year old DD who had significant speech delays. She is still in speech therapy, but I think this will be her last year. She is doing great. Her 3 year old brother also has speech delays, but I don't know if they attribute that to copying his older sister or not. Best of luck to you.

 

[mjkacmom]

This happened to a friend of mine, who delayed getting her twins ST because they talked so much better than her older ds did at that age. She really regretted delaying it. As you know, the earlier, the better, and if there is a delay, you don't want to wait any longer. Get the evaluation.

 

[mom2val]

We adopted our dd and were there when she was born. We have contact with her birthmom and dd has 2 half siblings. All 3 kids have had speech delays. DD was raised in an entirely different enviroment and still had the same struggles as her "siblings". DD is lightyears ahead of them bc we did intervention at age 2, followed by "special preschool" and several years of speech therapy. She is an excellent student and you'd have no idea she was ever delayed now.

Get the eval done for your son.

 

[3princesses+aprince]

My dd10 was fine, but my dd8 had speech delays, she is still in speech therapy at school. When my dd5 was born I was always afraid that she would pick up on dd8's words and would not learn the proper way of saying things. This did not happen, when she was around 2 and 3 she would say some words like dd8 did, but as she got to be 4 and 5 she now corrects dd8, which helps dd8. It worked out well for us. But if you notice it as your child gets older act on it right away. My dd5 did start pre k at 4.

 

[WantToGoNow]

My ds8 had a pretty severe speech problem. I got so frustrated with his pediatrician because I brought it up time after time and he always shrugged it off and said it was nothing to worry about. I knew it was. He started Kindergarten and I got a call from his teacher on the 2nd day of school - the first thing she said was "we have a problem". She could only understand a little of what he was saying. So he was enrolled in the schools speech program. That next summer at his 6 year well visit, the pediatrician said "are you getting that taken care of". I wanted to say, I thought you said it wasn't a problem, but instead I told him yes. He was in speech all through 1st grade with little progress. During the summer between 1st and 2nd grade he went to speech therapy at our local children's hospital and within 3 months he was released as he was speaking withing "normal limits".

My dd5 started talking really early and I could tell right away that we had no problem with speech on her part. If you are concerned, push the issue - I wish now I would have and spared my son several years of the schools' speech program.

I babysit a little girl who is 21-1/2 months old and she ONLY says - momma, dada, sissy and bubby - and those aren't consistent. She won't even attempt to mimmick other words. Her main form of communication is pointing. Her mother is concerned but not enough to do anything about it.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

I personally wouldn't do it.

My younger son did have a speech delay that we are active with. I wouldn't presume that pre-school would fix it.

My older children got very fluid with their langauge at 2.5.


I had no reason to suspect my son would be any different except that all he could do was grunt at 18 months. He is apraxic and has to learn HOW to formulate sounds.

I've been told by many that pre-school would fix that. Little do they know about that diagnosis. His langauge is finally coming in, but his sounds are wayyyy off.

Before sending your 22 month old to daycare/preschool, I would investigate if he has an issue. He may not.

In the meantime, we used Baby signing times and now signing times. This is what my children use to fill in the gaps in speech where he has the language but no other way to express it.

He also goes to a mommy and me tumbling program at a gym that gives him exposure to other children.

I do homeschool, so that partly influenced my decision. But according to Early Intervention and his Speech Therapist--it was not necessary to treat him differently for his speech delay and send him to pre-school.

I guess I have an atypical pediatrician b/c I thought it was silly when she brought this up at 12 and 15 months. I told her if it was an issue at 18 months, we would move forward and we did. She was happy that he was in a mommy and me program but hasn't pushed any other type of group setting. She did have to have my therapist explain his speech delay though as she has always been leary of autism. But he doesn't present any other symptoms. She wanted to be sure that his language was working but didn't understand the language/speech difference.

I think it is important to remember that each child is unique and one child's learning difference (or delays) doesn't spell trouble for a younger child who may model that. They will self correct unless they too have an issue they were born with.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Thanks but it still doesn't help me not feel like one. It's just soo frustrating. I just feel like I am doing something wrong. I mean what are the chances that BOTH DS would have the same problem!

YOU ARE NOT A FAILURE!

Change the disability--if your older son couldn't walk and your younger son was slightly delayed--would you say it was your fault?

Speech is a tricky character--we cannot force our children to speak. They will speak when they are ready if they have no issues.

You can do some things to see if your son has langauge and knows what things are. But sadly-none of my children have been the 12 or 15 month talking wonder who can rattle off 10-20 words. Only 1 has a speech issue.

Go for the Early Intervention. It is not a sign of weakness to get your son tested. It is a sign of a strong parent who has their child's best interest at heart.
(and ignore all that boys speak late crap. It's crap! My son was referred at 18 months, checked at 20 months (small delay with state funds) and in therapy by 21 months. It's never too early. My worst enemy was my mother who behaved like we sent my son off to boarding school. Don't let poison like that make you feel bad for caring for your son's speech!)

 

[tloveswdw]

If it is a true speech issue, than daycare/preschool is not the, but, a true speech therapist can help make the connection for your child.

An evaluation is just that... one persons evaluation of where they believe your child is.

Our school district has excellent resources, and teachers/pathologists at the early child level. We had two of our children evaluated, and they both qualified. One, moderate speech pathology disorder. The other profound/severe. The second, has been evaluated by another group of clinicians just to make sure she has a proper diagnosis, and gets the specific help she needs.

Smarts, has nothing to do with a true speech disorder. My three year old can read, (real books, signs...), but to most people her daily speech is not understandable.

That said, she, and all of the children have read to since in utero, (ha ), and exposed to music, places, and constant chatter.

My fourth child is just 15mo. and speaks short sentences, and fairly clear to anyone, (as did my first)... Each child is different... don't sweat it. The fact is soooo many people need some help, (speech, LD, or even have their hand held to jump a grade up), you do the best for each one.

Also, I would highly recc. the speech book
Teach Me How to Say It Right: Helping Your Child With Articulation Problems by D Dougherty
and
Let's Talk Together - Home Activities for Early Speech & Language Development

and the DVD series (excellent in my opinion) (there are two)
Baby Babble - Speech-Enhancing DVD for Babies and Toddlers

We have also like the website to get speech products...
http://www.talkingchild.com/shops_DVDsCDsBooks.aspx

HUGS...

 

[flying_babyb]

Daycare can be helpful. We had a child who came to our center with 3 words NO ICKY and NOW. After being in our center for three months he now says around 20 words and signs quite a few more (we needed some version of communication). I wish you all the luck in the world

 

[ryanshana]

Thanks everyone for the advice.

I have decided that I am going to send him to this preschool my older DS teacher recommended. Apparently this preschool works w/ the intermediate unit as well so I figured that would be good. I signed him up for 3, 1/2 days. Also signed him up for a mommy and me preschool that meets for a hr once a week. The preschool won't start till DS's 2nd birthday so I am just going to go and call early intervention as well in the mean time and get an eval. Hopefully he doesn't need it.

I just wish I wasn't so upset about this. I know that he will learn and make strides and that I am doing everything humanly possible. It's just so frustrating.

Again thanks for everyones thoughts and support!

 

[Macduffy]

Thanks everyone for the advice.

I have decided that I am going to send him to this preschool my older DS teacher recommended. Apparently this preschool works w/ the intermediate unit as well so I figured that would be good. I signed him up for 3, 1/2 days. Also signed him up for a mommy and me preschool that meets for a hr once a week. The preschool won't start till DS's 2nd birthday so I am just going to go and call early intervention as well in the mean time and get an eval. Hopefully he doesn't need it.

I just wish I wasn't so upset about this. I know that he will learn and make strides and that I am doing everything humanly possible. It's just so frustrating.

Again thanks for everyones thoughts and support!

ryanshana - great choice! Just a quick update for you! Logan is already starting to "form" words. They are not SUPER clear and we are working on consistancy but the "formation" has begun. The trick for us is to not let him get too frustrated working for the word. While is having a hard time adjusting to daycare/preschool he IS learning that he NEEDS to talk LOL!

Maybe we'll bump shoulders at disney

 

[J'aime Paris]

It may very well be that your younger son is copying your older son, but if it will make you feel better, you should get your younger DS eveluated. To be honest, getting him evaluated wouldn't hurt anything and may very well put your mind at ease.

My thoughts exactly!

 

[princesskenziesmom]

I am happy your son is doing better.

My oldest ds is Severely Cognitive and Speech delayed and has been labeled everything from Autistic to Mental Retardation. We are actually working on the possibility of Dyspraxia right now. It is very frustrating and while I can say that his twin dd and our youngest ds are fully functioning I find my little one copying his mannerisms or speech patterns.

I know I am not in your situation and no one can walk in your shoes, I can understand your frustration and failure feelings. You just have to believe, hope, and above all else just love them no matter what. Hang in there, Life is all about how you handle plan B.