Question for moms of boys

[bellebud]

my ds just turned 6. he and my 7yo dd always come in the stall w/ me (we squish!) and we all take turns. we have no privacy issues in our house yet though... don't know yet what i'll do when the kids get modest.

I will be taking my ds with me in the ladies room for the foreseeable future... don't know the age yet that i'll be comfortable letting him wait outside the ladies room for me (21???) just kidding of course, but it's a scary world and i'm over protective. Maybe i'll wear Depends so i don't have to go in the ladies room when he's a little older

I do see the point of a 10 year old girl w/ her period being mortified w/ an 11 year old boy in the restroom. I can see both sides here, being i have a son and daughter. it's a tricky situation, and one i don't have a good suggestion for.

 

[allaboutmm]

Had to chuckle when I read your thread. I have 2 boys (8 & 11) who always got dragged in with me. They would get SO-O mad at me! When the oldest turned 8 I would let him stand outside the restroom and wait for me. I would threaten him not to budge!!!! Now its nice to have both old enough to wait for me. But when they go to a public bathroom if my DH isn't there, I stand right outside that mens room. And if they take to long, I bang on the door like a crazy women. Ya just can't be to safe these days. So.......keep your 5yr old with you, we all have been there and understand!!!!

 

[Mkrop]

Didnt I read an article on here about some creep peeping on a teeange boy at Blizzard Beach and fondling himself, this kid got help and the man was arrested. It can and does happen even in WDW.

 

[Princess-in-Training]

DS will be 5 next month and he always comes with me into the bathroom, but not the stall. I wouldn't have a problem with it (at home we have an open door policy), but DD (21 months) is already in there too, and it gets crowded! He doesn't want to, anyway, and is happy to stand so I can see his feet. He's a funny kid, and will do little dances to entertain me!!

At our gym, they allow opposite sex kids in the locker rooms/bathrooms until they are 6. DS is big for his age and I get stares all the time! I am as respectful as I can be and keep him away from other ladies/girls who are changing. Unfortunately, their family changing room is sooooo busy, and I"m always running late. That being said, I'm also petrified of when he wants to start using Men's rooms by himself!

Anyway, best of luck!

in training

 

[Mkrop]

DS will be 5 next month and he always comes with me into the bathroom, but not the stall. I wouldn't have a problem with it (at home we have an open door policy), but DD (21 months) is already in there too, and it gets crowded! He doesn't want to, anyway, and is happy to stand so I can see his feet. He's a funny kid, and will do little dances to entertain me!!

At our gym, they allow opposite sex kids in the locker rooms/bathrooms until they are 6. DS is big for his age and I get stares all the time! I am as respectful as I can be and keep him away from other ladies/girls who are changing. Unfortunately, their family changing room is sooooo busy, and I"m always running late. That being said, I'm also petrified of when he wants to start using Men's rooms by himself!

Anyway, best of luck!

in training

I am running into this problem at our local Y where DS4 is taking swim lessons. For a couple of weeks I took him in there to get change into dry clothes, NP only a couple of women drying their hair, I changed as quickly as possible and get out of there. Well now they must have change some camp times for swimming so now I have a bunch of 6 to 8 yr old girls squealing that a boy is in the locker room, I told them he is 4 and I was trying to get him out of there quick but they just kept squealing, I looked at one of the counselors for some help and she just laughed, so I quickly took him to the other side of the locker room and into the bathroom stalls, which I had to use the big one so I could bend down to peel his wet stuff off and changed him. I guess I will have to do this from now on, oh how I wish they had family locker rooms. It is not easy when you have boys.

 

[Schmeck]

One time at WDW I witnessed a Mom put each of her 2 kids into their own stalls. Then she took the third available. The kids were told not to leave the stall until she knocked or called for them. The 2 kids stood in their own stalls safely until Mom called for them to meet her at the sink when she was done. I thought it was pure genius... I didn't tell her but if she's on the DIS here is a huge thanks to you

Once my DS was too old to take in with me I started doing the same thing and it works just fine for us. Every once in a while I come across a place with only 1 stall and we all come in with everyone who isn't going facing a corner so as to give the other person privacy.

Hopefully while they were in the stalls they were also going the bathroom - otherwise I'd be upset that 2 stalls were being used as cages, while I had to wait for a stall. And yes, we have to go to WDW when it is crowded and there are lines in the ladies' rooms.

If a preteen boy was in the ladies' room, I would hope that he wouldn't be right up close to the stall doors - I've known a few pre-teen boys that used to try to see into the girls' bathrooms at school, and I really wouldn't want to have to confront a kid at WDW for being a peeping tom.

 

[1daisy]

I bring my DS4 (and a half) in to the bathroom whenever we're out anywhere. I have never thought twice about it. Now he doesn't go in with me, but he stands where I can see his feet. We kind of make a game out of it. I don't know, I never would have thought 5 was too young. He'll still be coming in with me, that's for sure. I've seen boys that look as old as maybe 7 or 8 in the mall bathroom. I don't even think that's too old.
I hope you have a great trip.

 

[dunbarfamily]

You have tons of great advice here...

I second pednurse when she said to either bring him in stall and have him face the door, or have him stand outside your stall where you can see his feet.

I've had a little chat with my 5 year old about people wanting privacy. He knows not to look around in the bathroom or ask any questions about anything until we're out of the restroom.

Before I had kids, I never cared if I saw a little boy in a woman's restroom with his mama/grandma/aunt, whatever.

 

[LuvOrlando]

First I wasn't rude. I stated my opinion emphatically yes but not rudely. Second but you did say "I still take him in with me" so yes you did say you take him in with you.

As far as your perverts and kidnappers comment perhaps I feel the same way about my daughter and since there have been many instances in the news lately about 11 and 12 yr olds kidnapping and hurting small children I think my concerns are as legit as yours. If he is so immature he can't go in alone then take him to the family bathrooms because as you say my child's safety comes first and my DD isn't safe in a bathroom alone with pre-teen boys.

Since when is it about being 'immature'. My kid isn't 'immature' (hint this is an offensive thing to say), he is simply not able to stand up to a full grown man who means him harm. I couldn't do it either which is why men's bathrooms are separate from womens.

As for your kid being in danger from my kid, you are very welcome to stand outside until we are done.

 

[LuvOrlando]

Hopefully while they were in the stalls they were also going the bathroom - otherwise I'd be upset that 2 stalls were being used as cages, while I had to wait for a stall. And yes, we have to go to WDW when it is crowded and there are lines in the ladies' rooms.

If a preteen boy was in the ladies' room, I would hope that he wouldn't be right up close to the stall doors - I've known a few pre-teen boys that used to try to see into the girls' bathrooms at school, and I really wouldn't want to have to confront a kid at WDW for being a peeping tom.

"Cages", what is up with some of you? I suppose you feel a safety belt is a leash? Well, maybe it is but its about safety, MY kids safety and I'll be darned if someone who thinks my kid wants to sneak a peek at her saggy butt will get me to change how I do things. again, feel free to wait outside until we're done.

 

[winniethepoohsmom]

I would take him in at that age when on your own, it's not like a men's room with the urinals. There is'nt much for him to see but a bunch of females washing their hands and fixing their hair, that would'nt bother me any.

 

[Hannathy]

As for your kid being in danger from my kid, you are very welcome to stand outside until we are done.[/QUOTE

I was going to type a response but why bother it is obvious your family is the only thing that matters and the rest of the world can go jump in the lake. Yes a little girl who is where she belongs should be inconvenienced because her parents are afraid to send her in by herself with the older boy being in the BR. and to another family your son is the type of person you are so worried about protecting him from, a person who isn't where they belong wanting to see or do who knows what,- try looking at it from a strangers perspective.

 

[maxtomsmom]

I haven't had the time to read through all the threads but here are some suggestions:

1. Take him with you. Kids tend to wander off especially if they see something that really attracts them. It only takes a minute to get lost.

2. Take him with you for your own safety reasons. Better safe than sorry - too bad for those who have a problem with it. He can go in a stall next to you, or a great time to have him wash his hands after touching all the dirty- germ filled cue bars, rides, etc.

3. Each park has a tot spot (the actual name escapes me), but it is usually near the first aid section. It is air conditioned and he can wait in there and color something or just take a break. It is a good spot to just stop and it usually will have another mom or two who may be breastfeeding who can keep an eye out for you. I did it and didn't mind helping out another mom. It's not just for babies or toddlers. Older kids stayed there just to escape the heat and crowds.

4. Ask a CM who is standing nearby. Just let them know you are alone and have to use a bathroom. The worst they can say is no.


HTH

 

[LuvOrlando]

Thank you for being respectful winniethepoohsmom and maxtomsmom. Even before I had kids it never bothered me when Mom's took their precious children into the bathroom with them. I didn't blame them and when my kids get old enough to do without me someone else's kid still won't bother me. After all, I wouldn't leave my purse unattended on a bench so why on earth would I treat my children with less concern than a bundle of leather and paper (or expect anyone else to do so)?

 

[Blueyed Girl]

I have a son (almost 5) and we're going to Disney in October. My husband may need to take a day trip to New Orleans during our vacation (work related...he owns his own business so it can't be passed off.) I'll have DS for a full day on my own. My question is, and it seems kind of dumb, if I have to go to the bathroom what do I do with him? he's too old to bring in with me (too many questions) and too young to leave him without me. I don't know what to do.

I would bring him with you and not worry about what other people think.

 

[aubriee]

"Cages", what is up with some of you? I suppose you feel a safety belt is a leash? Well, maybe it is but its about safety, MY kids safety and I'll be darned if someone who thinks my kid wants to sneak a peek at her saggy butt will get me to change how I do things. again, feel free to wait outside until we're done.

Sorry, but due to personal experience I have to agree with the other poster on this one. I took my GD to the restroom at WDW a couple of years ago when she was eight. She went into a stall two down from mine. I suddenly heard her scream and immediately heard another kid screaming and crying. I dove out of that stall with my shorts still down to find a boy about 10 y/o sitting on the floor in front of her stall with a bloody nose. He had apparently stuck his head under the stall and my GD had kicked him (hard). His mother was furious that my 'demon' GD had hurt her precious 'little boy'. As I started to tear into her, several ladies jumped in to defend my GD saying the boy should not have been peeking under stalls. This kid was at least 10 years old and should have known better.

Saying all of that, I have no problem with well behaved little boys in ladies room, but a 10 or 11 year old has no business in there and I too would be calling for a CM. Just for the record I too raised two boys and took them into the restroom with me up until about age 6 or 7, at which time I started standing right outside the men's room with my sons talking to me the whole time. When it was my turn they stood right outside the door of the ladies room and both had a tendency to very loudly say "I'm not allowed to talk to strangers" anytime anyone male or female said anything to them. At which time, I'd call out and ask if they were OK.

 

[Schmeck]

"Cages", what is up with some of you? I suppose you feel a safety belt is a leash? Well, maybe it is but its about safety, MY kids safety and I'll be darned if someone who thinks my kid wants to sneak a peek at her saggy butt will get me to change how I do things. again, feel free to wait outside until we're done.

A safety belt is a leash - that's what they're called at many stores that sell them...

Putting two kids in bathroom stalls just to keep them contained is putting them in a cage. It has four walls and a door that locks. What I was trying to point out is that hopefully the children were also going the bathroom while occupying a stall, otherwise it would be rude to use up two extra stalls to contain the kids. Why not have them just stand right outside the stall door, or in the stall with you? If they are too old to see mom pee, then they are old enough to wait nicely outside the stall door, aren't they?

 

[Mkrop]

After all, I wouldn't leave my purse unattended on a bench so why on earth would I treat my children with less concern than a bundle of leather and paper (or expect anyone else to do so)?

DH and I just had this EXACT coversation on our way home from Busch Gardens to other day (kids had headphones on so they couldnt hear) and DH used that exact analogy

Sorry, but due to personal experience I have to agree with the other poster on this one. I took my GD to the restroom at WDW a couple of years ago when she was eight. She went into a stall two down from mine. I suddenly heard her scream and immediately heard another kid screaming and crying. I dove out of that stall with my shorts still down to find a boy about 10 y/o sitting on the floor in front of her stall with a bloody nose. He had apparently stuck his head under the stall and my GD had kicked him (hard). His mother was furious that my 'demon' GD had hurt her precious 'little boy'. As I started to tear into her, several ladies jumped in to defend my GD saying the boy should not have been peeking under stalls. This kid was at least 10 years old and should have known better.

Saying all of that, I have no problem with well behaved little boys in ladies room, but a 10 or 11 year old has no business in there and I too would be calling for a CM. Just for the record I too raised two boys and took them into the restroom with me up until about age 6 or 7, at which time I started standing right outside the men's room with my sons talking to me the whole time. When it was my turn they stood right outside the door of the ladies room and both had a tendency to very loudly say "I'm not allowed to talk to strangers" anytime anyone male or female said anything to them. At which time, I'd call out and ask if they were OK.

I am so sorry your GD had to deal with that and the boy got what he deserved!!!!! But I train my boys to behave IF I have to take them in with me, I first look for family restrooms and just recently I have started letting DS9 go into select places on his own and stood outside like you mentioned but it certainly depends on the circumstances, But I RESPECTLY disagree on the age you picked to allow your boys into the restroom by themselves, you didnt say but maybe they were close enough in age that they could go together,buddy system, I dont have that currently. My goal is not to make any young girl feel uncomfortable, my goal is to keep my sons safe, I dont think they could defend themsleves against an adult and these creeps use many manipulative tactics and threats to get to these kids, I teach my boys respect for where they are and if I had a daughter I would teach her understanding of the situation.

 

[WantToGoNow]

I have no problems with little boys going into the WOMENS/GIRLS bathroom -- but I do have a problem with adolescent boys being in there. By the age of 9 or so, boys are starting to become interested in the anatomy of females - I have seen more than one trying to sneak a peek through the cracks in the doors.

Also, what about people who are changing small children -- be it diaper clad, or an older child who had an accident or got wet in a fountain. Would you want your 6-7 year old DAUGHTER changing in an area that is made for HER and have a boy walk in? No more so, than I would want my older daughter in the men's room watching what goes on in there. I witnessed this last year at a local amusement park -- 2 little girls probably 7-8 were changing after playing in the water area - they were naked. A mom came in with a boy about 8-9. Those girls were humiliated -- and the boy was quite embarassed. The mom (of the girls) was furious.

Saying that, my ds is 6 and wouldn't be caught dead in a girls bathroom. When we are alone, I either let him go by himself or neither of us gets to pee all day. He goes into the men's room and I wait outside the door. If we both need to go, we meet back at the water fountain. If I need to go and he doesn't, he waits outside of the door. My son has a LOUD voice and I can always tell where he's at -- I could even pick him out at the Children's Museum from across the room. My dh will still take my dd3 into the men's room but even now that time is coming to an end. He will have to find restrooms that will accomodate the two of them (family, baby centers, etc.).

 

[meandtheguys2]

Thank you for being respectful winniethepoohsmom and maxtomsmom. Even before I had kids it never bothered me when Mom's took their precious children into the bathroom with them. I didn't blame them and when my kids get old enough to do without me someone else's kid still won't bother me. After all, I wouldn't leave my purse unattended on a bench so why on earth would I treat my children with less concern than a bundle of leather and paper (or expect anyone else to do so)?

If my child had the same lack of ability to think, make choices and act upon them as my purse, I would agree. That is why infants and small children are treated as they are. However for an older child of average cognitive ability, it is an insult to compare the two.

An older child (who has no disability that affects his/her ability to think and act) has no business in the restroom for the opposite gender. At least not in a crowded well-lit, well- staffed venue like the Disney parks. Perhaps a dark, deserted reststop in the middle of the night might be different.

And using stalls to hold children not in need of them is so incredibly inconsiderate to those who are in need.