Question for Married, Engaged, or other DISer's with SOs.

[TigerBear]

I definitely think that for many women physical chemistry can develop over time. Men are just built differently! I do agree though that physical chemistry is extremely important in a relationship. For me the first kiss speaks loudly. If there are no sparks, its time to move on. I too think you should give it a little time and see what happens!

 

[barbeml]

I can't believe someone else posted the 3-date rule.

I always felt that if a guy was bright and fun and there was no "compelling aversion," that it would take at least 3 dates to get to know him enough to see if there is a spark.

Year's ago a co-worker posed just about the same question as the OP, and I told her about my three-date rule. She is now happily married with a daughter, and she says it is all because of me.

DH and I hit it off from the start, but I used to have a thing about guys with lots of hair, and he was balding. But I liked him so much that I forgot all about that silliness. We were engaged within a year and will celebrate our 6th anniversary in October--and I still feel like a honeymooner.

The more you like a person, the better looking he or she becomes.

Good luck!

 

[Pin Wizard]

Originally posted by barbeml
The more you like a person, the better looking he or she becomes.

Exactly! For the women I guess. Men are visual. That's the first thing they notice. If they don't care for your appearance, they won't bother. However, I was reading where looks come in for women at like number three on a list. I can certainly vouch for not particularly caring for someone's appearance right off the bat, but as I got to know their heart and their personality, they became the most gorgeous guy in the world.

 

[TigerBear]

Originally posted by Pin Wizard
However, I was reading where looks come in for women at like number three on a list.

Wonder what book that is from PW?

 

[Pin Wizard]

You've got it right, TigerBear! I haven't started it other than flipping pages and reading here and there. It seems like it will fly once I start...soooooooooooooooooooooo interesting!!

 

[legs22]

I would get to know the person from the inside first. I think if you like what's inside, the outside becomes more attractive.

 

[ohanafamily]

I am very attracted to my wife, but the Physical appearance thing doesn't matter to me as much as it seems to matter to others. Physical appearances change and good looks fade. if he is your true Soul Mate, you won't be thinking about his appearance when you are talking to him. If you are, then it is an issue for you. I would agree about at least 3 dates.

(OK, another view from an adult male...

 

[snoopy]

I like the 3 date rule. Sounds sensible to me. Here's hoping this guy turns out to be your dream guy!

 

[honeywolf7]

I wasn't all that physically attracted to my SO at first (he's quite a bit older than I am), but he's the sweetest guy in the world and treats my kids so well.......the attraction has come from the inner feelings.

 

[LScot]

I didn't even like DH at first! Let alone be attracted to him. No, it took awhile. And when it happened, it happened. 17 years later and he still turns my crank.