Question about weddings and churches **Another question**

[golfgal]

My SIL got married in a cute, country church, you know, the white church in the middle of no where kind of church. The church was only used for weddings and they had Christmas service there. A friend of DH's and mine agreed to officiate (he is a Lutheran minister). It was a very lovely wedding.

I know the historic courthouse (building is on the National Historic Register now and not in use for it's original purpose) has a reception hall and many people have their weddings there and then go right into the reception. There are also several old homes that host weddings and receptions around our area.

Try doing a web search for wedding sites and I bet you come up with many places to consider if you can't find a church.

Almost all the churches I know about will allow you to get married there for a fee.

 

[bevtoy]

Who cares???

No, just kidding.

 

[tnkbl]

My Ds is getting married in September. He is Baptist and the fiancee is Catholic. Neither one is active in a church, plus she is from Germany and my son is not a member of a church here.

We live right next door to a Community Church (the pastor lives behind us). Do you think it would be OK to ask him if they could get married there?

Does anyone know the ettiquete of all that?

Thanks!

If the woman wants to be a practicing Catholic she is suppose to be married in a Catholic church by a Priest or she will have to have the marriage blessed by a Priest at a later time.

 

[phorsenuf]

If the woman wants to be a practicing Catholic she is suppose to be married in a Catholic church by a Priest or she will have to have the marriage blessed by a Priest at a later time.

They will be doing that in Germany I believe.

 

[katerkat]

I would ask. We got married in a church that was close to the reception site - neither of us attended and we even brought our own pastor to officiate and organist to play. They charged us $40 to the youth fund and we had to leave flowers there for their service the next day.

 

[goofy4tink]

We were just discussing this very thing a few nights ago at church. Our priest (we're Episcopalian) was giving some guidelines as to when an organist gets paid something other than her regular salary. They get paid, by the family, for playing at a wedding. When asked how much, the priest said usually about $100-125. He said he also gets paid extra for offiiciating, but the amount differs based on who he's marrying. If it's a child of a regular parishoner, he lets the family come up with whatever they feel is good. However, if it's just someone, off the street so to speak, he charges them $100. That's just his fee. I believe our sexton also gets $50 for cleaning up after a wedding.
I wouldn't hesitate to go over to the church and talk to them about it. All they can do is say no, and most likely they will say yes. I mean, it's a military person we're talking about here. They are deserving of just about all the perks they can get in my opinion.

 

[phorsenuf]

We also have known this Pastor for the 7 years we've lived here. He literally lives right behind us and our house is next door to the church. He's seen my boys grow up so maybe he'll allow it. I'll talk with him tomorrow.

 

[tnkbl]

Have they ever thought about having one wedding in say Germany and then having a reception state side? I have a friend who did this and at the reception they showed the video of the wedding.

 

[phorsenuf]

Have they ever thought about having one wedding in say Germany and then having a reception state side? I have a friend who did this and at the reception they showed the video of the wedding.

When my son is home in September he'll be on 2 week R&R. When he's done with his tour in Afghanistan in February he'll go back to Germany. When he gets back there they want to already be married so he can set up his housing that way instead of waiting until May when they are married again in Germany. This way everything will be in place when he gets there.

 

[RoyalCanadian]

As to the fees most churches charge for weddings -- to be brutally honest, the cost rarely covers more than what it costs to operate the congregation for one day of the year.

Give the pastor a call.

 

[noodleknitter]

Looking forward to hearing how it turns out!

 

[phorsenuf]

I spoke with the Pastor today and he said they can get married there. The charge is $60!
He said he does like to meet with the couple 3 times prior to share his views on the spiritual side of marriage. Whether they chose to listen or not is up to them. LOL He said we'll work something out regarding that.
So, I'll see what my DS has to say.

YAY!

 

[phorsenuf]

The Pastor just came over to talk with me and said he spoke to a few people and because we are neighbors there will be no charge for the facilities or his services.
I do want to give him something of course. What would be a good amount?

 

[SC Minnie]

The Pastor just came over to talk with me and said he spoke to a few people and because we are neighbors there will be no charge for the facilities or his services.
I do want to give him something of course. What would be a good amount?

I think it would be nice at the very least to give a donation to the church. The amount is up to you.

 

[Shugardrawers]

That depends. Are you just using the sanctuary and the pastors services or are you having the reception there too? For just the ceremony and minister I'd think $75 to $100 donation to the church would be nice. I'd also make a gift basket of some sort for the minister himself. He's saving you a LOT of money.

 

[Imzadi]

Also remember to invite him to the reception.

 

[Zippa D Doodah]

I am not clear as to whether they are going to get married near a military base, but might there be a chapel on base in which they could get married? I once performed a ceremony for two soldiers at the chapel on Fort Bragg. It was a beautiful place; I get the impression that many couples got married there. If so, all you'd need would be a chaplain or pastor with connection to the family to do the honors. In the wedding I am referring to I was the pastor of one of the soldiers (Methodist); the other was Catholic. Much like your situation, one was in Afghanistan and the other in the states. I know it was not ideal, but we did some premarital counseling via email in addition to getting together in person once they were both stateside. Hope this helps

 

[KirstenB]

I know you asked what would be a good amount to give the pastor for his services. I hope I'm not coming in too cheap, but I'd guess somewhere in the $300-500 range. He'll be spending time doing the counseling plus planning his sermon, plus the rehearsal...okay, I've just convinced myself I'm too cheap . Anyone else?

Also, since you're not members of the congregation, I'd add in a little more as a thanks.

 

[RoyalCanadian]

I'm a Lutheran minister and my fee for weddings is $150; more if the wedding is out of town.

But I like the way KirstenB thinks. I'd do a wedding for her anyday!