Ok, here's my take:
It is not a Right to go anywhere that charges admission. It is not a right to to stay in any hotel room, even if you satisfy all of the rules and requirements- but especially if you don't.
That said,it is also not wrong to ask, or to meditate on your values, whether or not they are what is codified by rules (Disney's) or law (the fire marshall's- make no mistake it is against the law to exceed the limit set by the fire marshall- although that may not be why Disney set the limit.)
I can, however, judge actions. I would not break this particular rule, and I have every right to think less of someone who does. Whether they have the money to upgrade is immaterial. Why they feel the need to stay on-site instead of elsewhere doesn't matter. I generally feel better about myself when I follow the rules- but I also accept that not everyone has the same priorities I do. They will have to live with whatever decision they make. I'm not going to offer my opinion unless I'm asked-and we were- and it is not a situation where I would feel strongly enough to intervene.
She'll just have to decide for herself whether the kids will be learning the values she wants from how she handles this situation....
Okay, rant over. Go have a good time at DW!
Susan
