I was talking about the enamel ones falling off...just happened a couple times to my DD's one (but she's 5 and tough on stuff still).
If you buy a bunch of charms, you probably won't even need a starter bracelet or maybe just one starter if you are going to do multiple bracelets. The links just slide in the middle and hook on to the next one, so you could hook together 18 or 20 of them and have a bracelet w/out a starter at all...of course, if you are making 3 of them, you might want one starter to be able to put some blank spots in for them to grow their collection.
A starter should not cost you more than $5 basically....when I began w/these, I bought a lot of 10 starters off ebay for about $15 total. I was planning on giving them to grandmas, moms, sisters, etc in my family. Well, I found that between the 8 people I was giving them to, I really only needed about 2 or 3 starters since I was putting in so many charms already. I have since donated the extra ones, otherwise, I'd send you one free!
I think they would be a appropriate for a 40s mom....I'm inching in on that age and I know that almost all of the moms I know have one personalized w/their kids birthstones and/or names and/or initials.
FYI..When Claire's does their 10 for $5 sales at their store, they usually have some charms in that mix...my DD got spongebob and hello kitty that way.