Question About Godparents

[goofy4tink]

Generally speaking, if a baptism is held during the regular church service, there is no fee. But, if it's a private baptism, then the priest/rector may charge a fee.
As for godparents paying for anything, that's the nuttiest thing I've heard in a long time. I have three kids, and of the three, only one (my youngest) has a godparent that even remembers she's around. He never misses her birthday or Christmas...always sends a card with a gift card or a check in it. The others have never even sent a card....not even when first communion times came along. It's truly just an honorarium these days, sad to day.
I truly believe that if parents want a party, then they are the ones to pay for it for heaven's sake, not the godparents.

 

[ilovejack02]

I think those parents want something for nothing. Who pays for the use of the church if you, yourselves, are members there??!

No joke lol, if you are a member you "pay" for it every week with your offering or monthly tithe.

Someone is yanking on someone's chain. Run like the wind I say, next it will be the child's first birthday party and then the first communion party and so on and so on.

 

[katerkat]

Wow, I've never heard of that. I guess technically my son's godmother paid the priest, but that's only because his godmother IS the priest! (Can't really get more God-ly than that, I figured.)

 

[Patty3]

In our family, the Godmother buys the Christening outfit and the Godfather makes the donation to the church. When my GD's was baptized, they had a family gown they used that each of their grandchildren wore, it was origianlly worn by the other grandmother.

I worked with a woman from the Philippines. She was asked to be godmother and she said that it was their custom for the godparents to pay for everything plus a gift. Gown, church, party and gifts, what an expense!

 

[Sthronds]

I have never heard of that!! Is the family from Mexico? I ask this because my housekeeper is from Mexico and she has told that in Mexico Godparents don't pay for anything BUT, all of the Mexicans that she knows in the US expect the Godparents or sponsers to pay for everything -- dress, church, party, etc.... She was not happy when her DH's family keep asking them to be Godparents/sponsers. She told her dh that he is to tell them *No* from now on since all they want is the money! LOL!

They are a Greek family, and the church is a Greek Orthodox church. I still think it might be a family tradition instead of a widely accepted one. It's not right in my opinion.

 

[lizardqueen]

I was just thinking that it might be their family tradition for the Godparents to pay. I'm a Godmother 4x over and have never been asked to "fund" anything. I think it would be nice (if you can afford to and are so inclined) to offer to pay for those thinks, but don't feel that it is a responsibility of being a Godparent.

 

[poohandwendy]

Wow!

I think I would follow up with " While I am flattered, I'm sorry i have to decline. I don't feel comfortable with the responsibility of being your child's God parent."

I dunno, I would guess this is just the beginning of the expectations.

 

[LisaNJ25]

Yikes!!! No they should not be paying fro all of that. With my kids one of the godparents bought a cross... the other bought the dress or cake.

Last year I have my youngest 2 done together. Same godparents. My brother was their godfather and he bought my son his cross and outfit. A close friend of ours bought my daughters cross and outfit.

I would of never asked for them to pay for the party or church donations.

I just saw they are greek.. I have have to ask my mom if its a greek thing.. since my 3 younger sibling are greek.. but I dont think it is.

 

[LisaNJ25]

I have never heard of that or tipping or donating money to the church after the baptism!

yep.. my kids were are baptizes catholic... I know last year with the little ones we had to give $50.00. I dont remember with the other ones.. I want to say with my first it was more like $100.

 

[mickeyfan2]

It really depends on the family.

In our family the Godmother buys the Godchild's outfit and the Godfather buys something to wear at the ceremony. The parents pay for the Church and the party. $$ gifts are given by those attending. This money is deposited into the kid's saving account.

 

[Cool-Beans]

I have never heard of that or tipping or donating money to the church after the baptism! As the godparent, I'd think about paying for more personal things like Bibles (study stuff), dresses etc.
I think those parents want something for nothing. Who pays for the use of the church if you, yourselves, are members there??!

I (as you well know) don't know about other faiths, but we make a donation to the church. Kind of like the donation you make at a museum - not required, just kind of done.

If you were poor, the church will still baptize the child - no question. You don't have to pay them. It is more of a custom, I guess. But a routine, almost expected, custom. Kind of like tipping a restaurant server, except the church won't hold a grudge if you show up again later.

They don't charge to use the church, lol.

I think those parents are seriously misguided or looking for something, too.

 

[r4blessings]

I am a godmother to one, and have four little ones. In each case, the godmother bought the gown. Twice the godmother paid for it, after I picked it out, and once my sil picked it out and paid for it (she has wonderful taste, so I knew I would love it!) and once the godmother crocheted the dress, which was beautiful beyond words! In all those cases, the gown was their gift to the child and they did not bring a gift to the receptions we had. HTH!

Jennifer

 

[Cool-Beans]

Wow!

I think I would follow up with " While I am flattered, I'm sorry i have to decline. I don't feel comfortable with the responsibility of being your child's God parent."

I dunno, I would guess this is just the beginning of the expectations.

LOL, or "I'm sorry, I can't afford to be Christopher's godmother."

 

[Erin1700]

Wow, I would politely say no thanks too! Both my kids godparents paid for their outfits, but we didnt ask them to do so, they insisted!

 

[JR6ooo4]

I did not have to pay either.
Mikeeee

 

[Buckalew11]

yep.. my kids were are baptizes catholic... I know last year with the little ones we had to give $50.00. I dont remember with the other ones.. I want to say with my first it was more like $100.

I (as you well know) don't know about other faiths, but we make a donation to the church. Kind of like the donation you make at a museum - not required, just kind of done.

If you were poor, the church will still baptize the child - no question. You don't have to pay them. It is more of a custom, I guess. But a routine, almost expected, custom. Kind of like tipping a restaurant server, except the church won't hold a grudge if you show up again later.

They don't charge to use the church, lol.

I think those parents are seriously misguided or looking for something, too.

Now these sound very different..."had to give $50.00" and "you don't have to pay them" are 2 different things.
I would not feel comfortable paying (JMHO) and wouldn't-unless it was by special arrangement and we were baptizing at a special called service or something.

And even if you do count the tithe, like Ilovejack02 said, you do not HAVE to tithe to come to church, right? Giving a tenth to God is a Biblical concept which I am fine with--as long as no one tells me that I have to pay to attend! Geez, I feel like a rebel.

 

[Tikicampers]

DS was baptized in a Catholic church, and we did not give anyone any money. We were told at the class that we had to take, that a tip to the person who does the baptism or a donation to the church is fine, but not required. I am surprised to hear that a person was told they had to pay for a baptism.

 

[Disney Doll]

Godmother to 4 kids, age 23 to 5, boys and girls. I have laways offered to buy the Christening outfit. In 3 of the cases, the fmaily had an "heirloom" outfit to put the baby in. The 4th one I did buy, but that was my offer, not someone telling me I had to do it!

As far as the church...most churches I know of do not require a payment to baptize, but most people give a "stipend"...a little donation. But it is not a requirement of the godparent to pay that either.

This sounds like it may be a family custom, and I'd probably refuse the "godparent-ship" if that was the "requirement".

 

[CJMZ]

In our family (Italian) the godmother typically buys the gown, the godfather the cross, and the parents donate to the church(average $100.00 if a private ceremony) and pay for the party. I also gave $20.00 to the alter boy.
Any gifts that are given (usually money) is then placed in a fund for the child.
I have never heard of the godparents being required to pay for anything.
For my godchildren, I paid for the gown and the cake and pastries, I also gave them a savings bond.
I don't mind doing what I can, but it is different when people say they expect you to pay.

 

[Cool-Beans]

Now these sound very different..."had to give $50.00" and "you don't have to pay them" are 2 different things.
I would not feel comfortable paying (JMHO) and wouldn't-unless it was by special arrangement and we were baptizing at a special called service or something.

And even if you do count the tithe, like Ilovejack02 said, you do not HAVE to tithe to come to church, right? Giving a tenth to God is a Biblical concept which I am fine with--as long as no one tells me that I have to pay to attend! Geez, I feel like a rebel.

You don't have to tithe to attend mass, but you are supposed to. They expect you to tithe, but it isn't like they're taking money at the door or toss you out if you don't.

I don't want to quibble with anyone, but the church will ABSOLUTELY baptize your child, even if you don't make a donation. No question, no doubt. (But they'd like you donate, all the same, lol.) They aren't charging for baptisms.