Puzzled!!!

[stinkerbelle]

Originally posted by southernclass
Well, I guess that is where we differ because her mother is not fit to take care of her and my fiance certainly is capable. Then again it is not your child who is being neglected.

you are going to get a thousand differeing opinions on the word 'neglect' in your situation here.

 

[aprincessmom]

has already had a yeast infection at 10

My co-worker's DD had one at age 2...don't think she's a bad parent. Yeast infections happen.

As for the rest, I don't see any reason to call child welfare. The child is not being abused. What you want to have happen and what is allowed by law are entirely different things.

Sounds to me like there are other issues here...just a note of caution as well, unless you two are living an absolutely perfect life be prepared to be scrutinized to the nth degree if you decide to go the court/child welfare route. Courts do not take kindly to people who are just using their children to wage a war because they aren't grown up enough to deal with life like adults.

 

[tonyswife]

Originally posted by southernclass
Well, I guess that is where we differ because her mother is not fit to take care of her and my fiance certainly is capable. Then again it is not your child who is being neglected.

Neither is your finacee's daughter according to what you have revealed thus far.

 

[Bumbles]

Let's break this down, shall we?

who is allowed to go to places she should not be

******according to who? You? Sorry kiddo, that holds no water


has already had a yeast infection at 10

***unfortunate, but what about kids who also have other infections? No one wants to have their chilc have an infection and it's not the mother intentionally caused it

****who thought she was dying last week when she started her period because her mother never explained it

Call child welfare on my mom too then

***who has not been to the dentist in the past two years

unfortaunte but not a crime

and to top it all off she is left alone with three boys ages 11,13, 16!!!

again, call child welfare on my folks too

 

[southernclass]

Originally posted by tonyswife
After reading more, I want to reitterate not to waste child welfare's time. A yeast infection? Well big deal it happens. Had the child been on antibiotics for anyhting recentky, that in ONE very innocent reason among many for a yeast infection to crop up.

Not knowing about menstration at 10? Perhaps a little naive on the mother's part, but not neglectful or abuse.

Not going to the dentist? Sure, bad parenting, but not abuse or neglect by any strech of the imagination.

R rated movies? Depending on the content, not at all alarming and certainly not abuse or neglect.

Sometimes we look for a problem where there is none.

If your fiancee hopes to gain full custody, he will have to have MUCH more evidence than this in order for a judge to remove the child from the mother.

No, she was not on any medication and not going to the dentist when she has cavities that have not been filled is neglect. It also helps to have a father who is a detective and who is friends with most every judge here but thanks for the advice.

 

[aprincessmom]

It also helps to have a father who is a detective and who is friends with most every judge here but thanks for the advice.

So are you saying that he will do something illegal or inappropriate to get his way?

 

[piglet too]

Originally posted by southernclass
has already had a yeast infection at 10,

(I am only including this part of what you said as it is what pertains to what I have to say.)

My second DS is only 5 and he has had a yeast infection. My DD is only two and she has had one too. They both were caused from different things, and neither one was my fault. So please don't blame anyone on her getting the yeast infection as it really is no ones fault! They happen to pretty much everyone at one point or another. I would hate to be labled a bad mom because my kids got sick!!

 

[southernclass]

Originally posted by Bumbles
Let's break this down, shall we?

who is allowed to go to places she should not be

******according to who? You? Sorry kiddo, that holds no water


has already had a yeast infection at 10

***unfortunate, but what about kids who also have other infections? No one wants to have their chilc have an infection and it's not the mother intentionally caused it

****who thought she was dying last week when she started her period because her mother never explained it

Call child welfare on my mom too then

***who has not been to the dentist in the past two years


I am sorry for you Bumbles, but just because your parents did these things does not make it right for us. We are not stupid enough to raise a child based on the carelessness of society. I was asking for advice on what to do, not a ranting because your parents did the same thing to you. My parents did not raise me like that which is why I was never molested by my older stepbrother!!!!!!!

unfortaunte but not a crime

and to top it all off she is left alone with three boys ages 11,13, 16!!!

again, call child welfare on my folks too

 

[southernclass]

Originally posted by aprincessmom
So are you saying that he will do something illegal or inappropriate to get his way?

There is nothing illegal about stating the facts!!

 

[tonyswife]

What does being molested by an older step-brother have to do with this southern class?

 

[Bob Slydell]

I am sorry for you Bumbles, but just because your parents did these things does not make it right for us. We are not stupid enough to raise a child based on the carelessness of society. I was asking for advice on what to do, not a ranting because your parents did the same thing to you. My parents did not raise me like that which is why I was never molested by my older stepbrother!!!!!!!

Ummmm, aren't you making a little bit of a jump from being left with older stepbrothers to molestation???

 

[browneyes]

Originally posted by southernclass
My parents did not raise me like that which is why I was never molested by my older stepbrother!!!!!!!

 

[dizagain]

Southern Class....it sounds like you are a great "mom" and a wonderful imfluence on your fiance's child. It must be frustrating for you both. I agree with you completely. I would not want DD at a friend's party where there were drinking adults. I don't drink at all, and DH drinks wine and an occasional beer. He would NEVER drink at one of the girl's parties with her school buddies. Now, family parties with close FAMILY friends are different, and I don't have a problem with drinking in moderation around the kids in that type of situation.

Rated R movies are not appropriate for 10-yr-olds, no matter what. I don't even do PG-13 with DD's, 8 and 10. In fact, older DD was at a party where they were going to watch a PG-13 and she and several others said they weren't allowed so they changed movies. I was quite proud of her (although, if she had called to ask, I would have let her watch that particular show!)

So, I think you're on the right track, stick to your instincts. I hope the custody issues work out for the best for your fiance's daughter.

 

[Bojangles]

Originally posted by southernclass
No, she was not on any medication and not going to the dentist when she has cavities that have not been filled is neglect. It also helps to have a father who is a detective and who is friends with most every judge here but thanks for the advice.

So why don't you take her to the dentist and get her some meds?

Trying to drag child welfare in on that nonsense to help you win a custody battle will not win you any points. So you have a father that is going to try to influence the custody judge? Don't count on that either. I doubt the judges will risk their seat on the bench to help out a friend.

 

[C.Ann]

Poor parenting - maybe.. Neglect and reasoning to have her removed from her mother's custody? It will never fly - no matter how many judges your fiance knows..

As for the party - if she is with her Dad on that day, then it's Dad's decision whether she attends or not - regardless of the opinion of anyone else..

If Mom tried to withold future visitation based on Dad's decision regarding the party, I would file a petition in court that the visitation rights are being violated.. She probably won't get more than a severe reprimand, but it might make her think twice before doing it again..

 

[southernclass]

Originally posted by tonyswife
Neither is your finacee's daughter according to what you have revealed thus far.

Very true but I guess my love is evident as a parent because I can care this much about her and her needs. Like I said, if you have nothing valuable to say then don't bother posting. I did not come here to be critiqued but to be given mature advice. I labeled no one on here a bad mother, I label the ex as one and with full right because I have known her and her ways all my life. Maybe to some of you popping out kids and still living the same old party life you did before you had them is ok but it is not in my book. I think when you become a mother you are supposed to mature on a certain level and set an example for your children not teach them how to drink and dress like little hoochies and introduce them to movies they have no business watching.

 

[southernclass]

Originally posted by Bojangles
So why don't you take her to the dentist and get her some meds?

Trying to drag child welfare in on that nonsense to help you win a custody battle will not win you any points. So you have a father that is going to try to influence the custody judge? Don't count on that either. I doubt the judges will risk their seat on the bench to help out a friend.

LIke I said, not influence, FACTS!!

 

[aprincessmom]

There is nothing illegal about stating the facts!!

And so far there is nothing illegal about the "facts" as you have presented them so I don't understand how being a detective and knowing judges is going to change that unless there are plans to do something other than to state the facts.

 

[Bojangles]

Originally posted by Bob Slydell


Ummmm, aren't you making a little bit of a jump from being left with older stepbrothers to molestation???

It looks like she deleted that accusation.

 

[Bob Slydell]

Originally posted by southernclass
Very true but I guess my love is evident as a parent because I can care this much about her and her needs. Like I said, if you have nothing valuable to say then don't bother posting. I did not come here to be critiqued but to be given mature advice. I labeled no one on here a bad mother, I label the ex as one and with full right because I have known her and her ways all my life. Maybe to some of you popping out kids and still living the same old party life you did before you had them is ok but it is not in my book. I think when you become a mother you are supposed to mature on a certain level and set an example for your children not teach them how to drink and dress like little hoochies and introduce them to movies they have no business watching.

Ok, I'll step away from the thread now, then -- because you've apparently pretty much lost it at this point.