Pushy family?

[TheIncredibles!]

Anybody else have pushy family members re: your DVC points?

When DH and I bought 10+ years ago we decided we were going to share as much as possible. It was easy then, we only had 2 kids and fit into a studio. When we had a 3rd we still stayed in a studio until he was 3. (We only go every 3 years as more than that is actually too much for us) We got rooms for all siblings and their families on both sides (at different times) and took the in-laws with us twice.

We decided that since we got everybody down there once, we were done at least for now. No more compromising on our end. We were going to go when we wanted and get the size room we wanted just for us. So this next trip is right before Christmas and we have a 2 BR just for the 5 of us. I have points available but we are waitlisted for VWL and BLT and if it comes through then we will use up more points. (At OKW now) If the waitlist does not come through then DH and I will discuss what to do with the points. These points are in my 2012 use year(August) so they are just fine sitting there while we decide if we want to use for ourselves in the next year or so - or not.

WELL.... "somebody" is mad about that. They want to go again and are upset that we are not offering to share our room. On top of that they are upset that we are "hogging" all the points and we cannot get a room for "somebody else" who wants to go down in January. It was explained that we were not going to be generous with anbybody for awhile as it was time to fully enjoy what we have paid for but that is not going over well.

Just tired of it. What makes anybody think that we are "required" to get them rooms, especially after we have already done so for everybody? Who says round 2 is mandatory? And what makes them think we should compromise our own vacation. The phrase "it's not fair to others if you have something they do not" actually came up. WHAT?? We are all adults here. You want it? Pay for it.

Rant over.

 

[castleri]

ITA If they want to go so badly refer them to the rent trade board or better yet to the resale locations so they can get their own points.

Enjoy your trips and don't feel guilty!

 

[chrismass]

Holy cow, I am always amazed at what families think they can say to each other! Was the purchase of the points a family affair? If not - they have no say in how you spend your points...even bringing them once each is more than I've done for my family.

 

[TheIncredibles!]

Holy cow, I am always amazed at what families think they can say to each other! Was the purchase of the points a family affair? If not - they have no say in how you spend your points...even bringing them once each is more than I've done for my family.

Nope - 100% DH and I and nobody else. If somebody else owned along with us then I certainly could see their point. That is not the case here though and I am just so irritated over it. We have every right to spend our money they way we see fit - same goes for DVC. Not sure why they do not see that.

A few free rooms through the years and suddenly they think they are entitled to have one whenever they like and we just need to suck it up and make i t happen?

 

[DVCconvert]

"somebody" is mad about that. They want to go again and are upset that we are not offering to share our room. On top of that they are upset that we are "hogging" all the points and we cannot get a room for "somebody else" who wants to go down in January

No Problem!
"they" can hog all the points of your's they want at only $ 15 per point....MF's + ROE....otherwise, I'd tell 'em not to let the door hit them in the backside on their way out!

 

[logan115]

As someone else mentioned, refer them to the R/T board. Tell them that you're happy to help them out in terms of finding them points they can rent from another member, or perhaps you could get points transferred in from to your account (at their expense) and then you can make a reservation for them. If nothing else, it gives them an idea of what how much you've already provided to them for FREE.

When they jump up and down about that, refer them to the WDW site so they can see how much they would be paying without your generous offers to help THEM find a much cheaper way to stay at a DVC resort.

When that fails, point them to TUG, Redweek, or VRBO to check out deals on off-site properties.

When that fails - give up

Chris

 

[JimMIA]

WELL.... "somebody" is mad about that. They want to go again and are upset that we are not offering to share our room. On top of that they are upset that we are "hogging" all the points and we cannot get a room for "somebody else" who wants to go down in January. It was explained that we were not going to be generous with anbybody for awhile as it was time to fully enjoy what we have paid for but that is not going over well.

Sounds like "somebody" needs their own points! Be a good family member and give them a referral so they can save some money on their points. That way they'll save money and be able to show their equal generosity toward the rest of the family.

 

[rocketriter]

There's not much you can do with family members who act like skunks. Keep your dignity, keep smiling, step back to a greater distance if they try to hurt you, but don't give an inch regarding fake entitlements like this. And don't be surprised if they "punish" you by cutting you out of something later. Skunks don't stink up the place just once.

 

[DVCconvert]

Skunks don't stink up the place just once.

 

[KAT4DISNEY]

 

[BUDDYBEAR]

thanks for this post i kmow how you feel

 

[Shelly F - Ohio]

That is exactly the reason why our family does not know we own a DVC. Don't want to deal with other family members wanting us to include them in our vacation plans. We have been members for 7 years and have kept it under wraps.

 

[Dean]

Unfortunately there is no explaining or educating such people. In my experience seeing many posts along these lines over the years, I'm guessing this is not a surprise from the source, that they have a track record. Usually when you have such family that is so inconsiderate, it's not the first time they've been so. Regardless, I doubt you could ever please them and don't be surprised if they bad mouth you to the rest of the family every chance they get, esp when family is together like the holidays. It is important that the blood relative in such a situation is the one that stands the ground, if they don't, the in-law will always be put in an extremely difficult situation.

We do a family trip about 2 out of every 3 years. I provide the accommodations and invite people until we're full. I decide when, where, etc but I generally do so with both our schedule AND the target groups likely options in mind. I have a few basic rules and anyone that strayed far from them or was a problem simply wouldn't be invited again. I do put a lot of thought and effort into making sure there aren't implied issues. For example, I don't expect or care if anyone thanks me as long as they follow the rules though I must admit that I do appreciate it when they clearly understand the cost, effort and sacrifices involved. I also don't control others vacation other than to ask that we rotate family meals so that many hands make light work and that we go out for a meal as a group once during a week.

 

[burnsoc]

AHHH YES! We have such family members. They subscribe to the motto of "What's mine is mine, and what's yours is mine." We just recently had my SIL, who has an incredible sense of entitlement, hint that they needed to borrow money because they are so in debt. She just booked a vacation to Puerto Rico two months after they rejected our offer of a free room at WDW, because she wanted a beach vacation. This is the Cliff Notes version of the story. We have taken all the nonsense we will in this lifetime and will no longer even discuss anything to do with finances with them.

 

[burnsoc]

It is important that the blood relative in such a situation is the one that stands the ground, if they don't, the in-law will always be put in an extremely difficult situation.

Dean,
Your whole post was well written and informative as usual, but in particular this one sentence is very important. In my in-law situation all of us who aren't blood call ourselves the outlaws. Luckily I married the best of the family who understands our nuclear family comes first.

 

[sweetdana]

Give them your sales reps name.. and better yet, show them about re-sale.

 

[BrentR]

Well my family would like to go in January and since the DIS is one big happy cyber family you need to give me those points!!! We better be able to get a 2 bedroom or it will cost you!!!

 

[Kelblum]

Wow! I agree, tell them to buy their own! Don't let it ruin your trip! Have a fabulous time!

 

[dzorn]

I think I would just say
"we've already treated everyone to a vaction, when are you treating us. The carribean would be nice when are you paying for our room?"

whenever it is brought up I would mention an even more expensive place than the last time.

Denise in MI

 

[emememem]

I think a lot of family members"forget" that DVC is a purchase that cost a lot of money for payments and dues and just see the this as a "free" vacation for them since they aren't actually involved in all that it takes for the membership.