Purses and family getting into them without permission? UPDATE!!!

[MushyMushy]

Major pet peeve! My mom's purse was always completely off limits, so I grew up with that expectation and have it now. But my DH thinks nothing of getting into my purse when I'm not around... if I'm in the room, he'll ask permission or bring me the purse. Well, I'd appreciate if he'd ask my permission when I'm not around!

Lest you think I'm being unreasonable, we have a history of him losing his wallet or checkbook, then getting into mine and taking it without telling me and leaving me without.

 

[IndianaMouse]

I don't care if DH gets in my purse but it's off limits to everyone else.

You guessed it!! I say which one b/c I'll get slammed for it but the thing that was used is something I can only get online and I was trying to make it last till I could place another order without having to order that one thing and the shipping wouldn't have been justified. plus what they used it for was not it's intended purpose anyway.

ETA: it is quite expensive too.

I'd be making them pay to replace that item, even if there was only a small amount left. But I'm mean like that. The same rule would have applied for my daughter and "step" son.

 

[Piglets Mommy]

I get mad when one of the kids takes something from my purse without asking. Just ask my DS...He'll tell you all about it

If someone asks, I don't mind...just don't TAKE stuff.

 

[mickilee]

I am a purse junkie. My DBF knows better to touch my purses. When he sees my Louis Vuittons or Chanels out on the table he will take the long way to the kitchen. No one is allowed to touch my bags. In the car they get their own area. No one is allowed to sit on that chair. Thats reserved for my bags only.

 

[NAB]

HEY! WHAT HAPPEND TO MY TICKERS? THEY ARE NOW LINKS? HOW DO i FIX THAT?

Alex posted on the CB page that all tickers from Magic Kingdom will not show up any more. The site has a virus or problem so not allowed anymore.

I barely carry a purse anymore because when I do I end up with all there junk in it to carry. That being said no one goes in there they bring it to me like others said.

I would be ticked if I went in there and the money was gone with out telling me too.

 

[TN Hockey Mom]

My DH gets into my purse all of the time and it drives me crazy. He's usually taking money out of it. I've had to write a check for $2.00 before to get out of the parking garage at work because I thought I had money but he had taken it all. He uses the excuse that he doesn't have time to stop and get money out on his way to work because he has to go in a 3:00 am. However, he has time to stop at McDonalds 2-3 times per week (and there's an ATM right next door). He also has time on his way home from work at 2:45 in the afternoon for the next day.

It's not just my purse. It's my purse, my email, my facebook, etc. He also asks me who's on the phone every time it rings and what they wanted. He gets mad at me when I tell him that a little privacy would be nice. He tells me that he didn't realize I had things to hide. I don't have anything to hide, but I feel like I still live at home with my family (they went thru everything and listened in on telephone conversations).

We've been married almost 17 years and I've never given him any reason not to trust me. Besides, I don't think it's a trust issue. I think he's just nosey!!!

 

[NHdisneylover]

Just as the title says, how many let their spouses or SO's or their kids in their purse without permission. And the only way you know that someone has been in your purse is b/c something is missing such as money or say lotion or lip balm is gone and only the empty container is left. Just wondering if anyone else would be upset if they found out that someone got in your purse and did this without telling you or without permission? I mean there is a lot of important info in ones purse and if it was lost or something??? I am more upset that this someone was in my purse without permission or even asking me to get it, I would have let them use what they use.

I want to know why I am being labeled as nuts for being upset ONLY after I found an empty container in my purse which is how I know someone was in it. And why i shouldn't be upset that it was all used and the empty container was left like it was no big deal. AND after I said to this person how would they feel if I got into something of theirs without asking (it was something that means A LOT to them) and their reaction was I wouldn't let that happen and walked away!!! BUT I"M THE ONE THAT OVER REACTED?????

I do not care if anyone who lives in the house (DH and 2 kids) goes into my purse. If they need something that is stored in there then why not

But that is the thing they didn't say a word and expected me to me ok with it and left the empty container in my purse instead of throwing it away!

The behaviour in question would bother me no matter if the item had been located in my purse, the bathroom shelf, my bedroom, etc. It would have nothign to do with going in my purse and everything to do with using up something and not letting me know it needing replacing and disposing of the container properly.

 

[cheermom1]

So did one of the step children get into your purse and use whatever was used and leave the empty bottle as a calling card because you apparently got into something of theirs? Power struggle? Retaliation? Who is telling you it's no big deal?

Obviously you are upset and I get why. I don't really care if someone gets in my purse but we are likely to not see that person again as my purse is the magic carpet bag that is a black hole. Talk to the family make sure it's understood that your purse is no man or woman's land.

No I don't get into any of their things like that. i only asked how they would feel if I did. Their reaction was that they wouldn't let it happen...so why did they think it was ok to do it to me?

Here is the deal I don't let my kids in my purse so why would I let my step kids in my purse? yes it was my step son the oldest he is 14 old enough to know that he shouldn't have gotten into it. Plus we have had problems with things disappearing and he took them to his moms. We know for a fact he was the one that did it. I just didn't want say my drivers license or something like that ending up at his moms. His mom is a nasty person but that is a whole nother thread.

I asked him how he would feel if I got his xbox out and played it and left it out or even scratched one of his games. He looked me straight in the eye and said he wouldn't let it happen!!! Really it is way more than what he used, it has more to with boundaries and him thinking he has the right to use and "borrow" anything he wants without asking and leaving the trash behind. But yet when it comes to his stuff he throws a huge fit. and he did all this in front of his dad but yet I was the one over reacting???

 

[horseshowmom]

I asked him how he would feel if I got his xbox out and played it and left it out or even scratched one of his games. He looked me straight in the eye and said he wouldn't let it happen!!! Really it is way more than what he used, it has more to with boundaries and him thinking he has the right to use and "borrow" anything he wants without asking and leaving the trash behind. But yet when it comes to his stuff he throws a huge fit. and he did all this in front of his dad but yet I was the one over reacting???

I agree - definitely about boundaries. As I said in my post, I don't care if someone in my family goes in my purse, but I do expect them to tell me if they get something out of it.

He's not just getting into your purse. He's being disrespectful, and I agree that his dad needs to do something about it. I suspect that part of your supposed "over reaction" was due to your husband not stepping up and handling the issue (which is completely understandable).

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

It is my opinon ....

It is disrespectful to not obtain permission prior to entering someone's wallet or purse.

I don't even like going into my husband's wallet when he gives me permission. I give it to him and have him find whatever it is I am requesting or he needed me to retrieve. He doesn't usually go in my purse either. But that is b/c he can never find what he asked to go get. Too much stuff in there.

Set the rules and stick to it. It isn't too much to ask that people don't use your stuff without permission or enter into your personal territory without explicit permission.

 

[jiminyC_fan]

I guess some of look at a purse as "our personal property" and others of us look at it as a place to store things. I have nothing to hide so I really don't care if someone gets in it. I've never had any mishaps with someone losing or misplacing things, however. Money has never been taken without permission either.

 

[wdwfan16]

My DH can get into my purse or wallet it he wants. I have nothing to hide. I am know to go into his wallet and he has no problems with that either. A child should never bother to invade the pivacy of an adult.

 

[pearlieq]

I have nothing to hide. I still wouldn't want DH rooting around in my purse without permission.

It's not an issue of hiding things--it's an issue of respect and boundaries.

I don't root though his wallet without his OK, he leaves my purse alone. Everyone's happy.

 

[disykat]

I do not care if anyone who lives in the house (DH and 2 kids) goes into my purse. If they need something that is stored in there then why not


The behaviour in question would bother me no matter if the item had been located in my purse, the bathroom shelf, my bedroom, etc. It would have nothign to do with going in my purse and everything to do with using up something and not letting me know it needing replacing and disposing of the container properly.

I feel the same way. I don't care about my purse, but I do expect my family to be respectful of my things. I would also expect them to respect my wishes IF I did consider my purse private.

 

[TDC Nala]

HEY! WHAT HAPPEND TO MY TICKERS? THEY ARE NOW LINKS? HOW DO i FIX THAT?

The website hosting those tickers was linked to malicious software and has been banned.

http://www.disboards.com/showthread.php?t=2427277

 

[remyandhollandsmommy]

This gets on my nerves too. For instance..SOMEONE..we will not name names HOLLAND..got into MY purse and STOLE (yes stole cause I did NOT give permission) my LAST piece of gum the other day. I was hoarding that gum darn it! Yes, I can go buy more, but I don't want to..getting into the car with three girls, one in a carseat is a PITA then I have to get out and go into the store for a pack of gum lol..no, too much hassle. Much easier just to have been able to enjoy that one piece of gum *sigh*...

Oooo, and another thing, DH! Why did you not only USE my hand sanitizer without asking (you have your own dude!) but then take it OUT of my purse and put it god knows where so that when I took the garbage off to the dump this morning and got garbage goo on my hands I did not have my precious sanitizer to use! What were you thinking?! I had to touch my steering wheel with that hand!

And Remy, you are not getting off the hook either! That was MY fifty cents! Do you know how disappointing it is to go to the mall and (since your sister ate my last piece of gum the other day) see the gumball machine takes fifty cents and it NOT BE IN MY PURSE! Did you think I could use a $20?? Cause it don't take those kid!

The ONLY person not on my "getting into my purse hitlist" is Koi aka The One They Call the Peanut! Probably cause she's only 2mos and hasn't mastered her arms yet lol.

 

[PollyannaMom]

....DH's mother was adamant that nobody went into her purse (of course, she had 5 kids, that may have had something to do with it ). Even now (at 53 years old), if he wants something that's in my purse and I tell him to just get it, he won't do it (brings the purse to me). She sure got her point across. ....

DH and DS are both trained to do that too! - Quite possibly because only I can usually find what's in there, but I kind of like the policy.

 

[Disney Doll]

Don't have kids.
DH won't go in my purse. If he needs something and I say "It's in my purse" he brings my purse to me.

I have a friend who dates a guy who goes in her purse all the time looking for stuff. I would find that very annoying.

ETA: I wouldn' t ahve ahuge problemw ith DH going in my purse. He says that there are "firl things" in there which is why he won't go in. I tell him that they are generally made of cotton so they won't hurt him!

 

[GaSleepingBeautyFan]

Nobody in my house messes with my purse. And everyone knows it. I have only had to pull out the mad Mom/Wife for the purse issue only once.

 

[dawn1620]

DH won't usually go in my purse unless he is looking for something and that is when I tell him it's in there. Even when he does get something out it looks like he expects there might be a snake or bomb in there...kind of like he'll part the sides and carefully crane his head and peak over into it while keeping his body as far away as possible.

I quit keeping cash in there because they can both smell it from twenty feet..if one of them sniffed it out it would be gone.

But when we travel DH will usually use a side pocket on my purse to hold all his crap..cigarettes, lighter, cards (he hates using a wallet), phone and whatever else he lugs around - so he'll go digging at that point without asking.