Punishment for inappropriate computer use?

[AshleyW]

Hardcore on YouTube? YouTube has a very strict no nudity or hardcore rule setup. In fact in 2008 they cracked down even harder on the restrictions. Are you sure it wasn't a pornographic YouTube-like site?

Yeah, there's a website that starts with "You" like youtube does - I bet that's what it was. I've never seen anything close to questionable on youtube.

 

[Toad_Passenger]

Yeah, there's a website that starts with "You" like youtube dues - I bet that's what it was. I've never seen anything close to questionable on youtube.

There's also a ton that end with "Tube".

 

[LisaR]

Hardcore on YouTube? YouTube has a very strict no nudity or hardcore rule setup. In fact in 2008 they cracked down even harder on the restrictions. Are you sure it wasn't a pornographic YouTube-like site?

Hmmmm.........now you have me wondering. This was about a year ago so I can't check. At that time, DS had a youtube account because he does stop motion movies and posted them on there. I logged into his account on youtube and looked at what he had been viewing. There were pages and pages of other stop motion movies that he had looked at. But when I went back far enough, I found some truly hard core stuff. I didn't think that was available on you tube either. I wonder if he could have clicked on a link that was on another video? Now you really have me questioning what he was viewing.

 

[phorsenuf]

Yeah, there's a website that starts with "You" like youtube dues - I bet that's what it was. I've never seen anything close to questionable on youtube.

And you know this howwwww?

 

[AshleyW]

And you know this howwwww?

Hey hey hey. The 12 year old boy is on trial here, not me.

 

[phorsenuf]

Hey hey hey. The 12 year old boy is on trial here, not me.

I just thought you'd want to share and all. You know, so others can be informed.

 

[Wall-E1]

Third offense...easy call - have him neutered. That's what I did to mine. Now we have no more issues with porn and he has a much calmer demeanor.

 

[PatsGirl]

Third offense...easy call - have him neutered. That's what I did to mine. Now we have no more issues with porn and he has a much calmer demeanor.

 

[pilesoflaundry]

If every 12 year old that tried to look at naked pictures was taken to counseling for that and "rule breaking behavior", we'd all be broke. And sitting in counselors offices.

I don't see the leap from googling "****s" to becoming a porn addict on Dr. Phil.

OP, I'd also make him start doing his own laundry.

Yeah it's probably a good idea.

Third offense...easy call - have him neutered. That's what I did to mine. Now we have no more issues with porn and he has a much calmer demeanor.

You are one of my favorite people on the dis.

 

[DigDug]

All guys look at or have looked at porn. Anyone who says otherwise or thinks their sons or husbands don't do it is in denial. If they say they don't, they're lying. This is coming from a guy. Men are visual and think about it all the time. Just the way it is...yet I don't see the majority of guys not able to function in society because they just can't control themselves. I think it's a HUGE leap to go from a teenage boy looking at porn 3 times to a porn addict. Come on now...

 

[Pumbaa_]

ask anyone with any addiction and they all started off with no intention of being an addict

addiction to anything can hit anyone. won't know if you have an issue until/unless you start. never start, never have an issue

and wall-e - omg, calmer demeanor

 

[crz4mm2]

I'd make my ds wear a shirt that said "my mom caught me looking at porn again", but I'm heartless and have a sick sense of humor


Seriously, I don't think you are being too harsh but I don't think his punishment will stop him, it will just make him find ways to hide what he is doing on the computer.

SPECTACULAR!!!!!!!!!
Funniest thing I have read in a long time... and yes, I have a sick sense of humor too, but would have never thought of the t-shirt!!!

 

[DisneyFirefly]

This just made me think of something my dad said about a week ago. He and my mom were going out of town for two weeks (due back this weekend), and he asked me how he could make the desktop inaccessible. As far as I know, he can't, short of locking it up. I asked him why and he said "Because then your brother won't go on there and get viruses on it from dirty sites."

My brother is 29 and hasn't lived at home for years.

 

[Sparx]

This is not the third time he's broken the rules. This is the third time he's been caught. There is a big difference.

I think its normal behavior to be interested in sex at that age. At least he's only on the internet, he could be out sleeping with girls and getting STDS and/or getting girls pregnant.

Its wrong that he broke the rules. Its not wrong to be curious. I agree with everyone who said to get a Playboy subscription.

My main problem with internet pornography is that it is so massively produced that a lot of women are very exploited, endangered and degraded in the making of it in the smaller, no name studios. There is also a lot of scary, violent, illegal things that children (or any of us really) probably shouldn't be looking at. Especially if your son is a virgin (which is the vibe I got from the OP). Like a previous poster said these violent gang-bang videos could really warp his idea of what sex should be.

I think the addiction argument is insane. If looking at pornography when you're a teenager leads to a life of debauchery and addiction, why doesn't having a drink with dinner make a wino? ****ies does not a porn addict make.

I think you should be upset about his breaking of the rules in place, not looking at pornography.

ETA:
I think making a huge deal of out his curiousity (like the posters who are calling to exercise his pornographic demons) is going to be a lot more traumatic than even the hardest core of internet porn. Sex is normal, natural, and human. He should be curious. Punishing him for his curiousity could be incredibly detrimental in the long run.

 

[Robinrs]

OP, I'm going to give my two cents and I have not read this whole thread. We as parents are to teach our children right from wrong. I do believe that you probably believe that what your DS is doing is wrong, that's why you were seeking advice on punishment. I would take away his computer and never return it, I would also tell grandma that he is not allowed to use her computer. You know this is a problem b/c this isn't the first time. You've been tracking him for over a year and found no signs of it, then, there it was. This has the potential to become very serious, very quickly.

For the record, not all men/boys do this, so please don't believe that type of nonsense. Also, we do not allow computers or televisions in any bedrooms, not even our own. Good luck!

 

[DigDug]

MTE when I read that post.

 

[SplashMtnCrew]

MTE when I read that post.

Not exactly sure what I said that would make anyone laugh/mock and I really don't care to know. It sure doesn't suprise me though, considering.

OP... Do what you think is best for child. Good Luck!

 

[cteddiesgirl]

Not exactly sure what I said that would make anyone laugh/mock and I really don't care to know. It sure doesn't suprise me though, considering.

OP... Do what you think is best for child. Good Luck!

They're laughing at you saying "For the record, not all men/boys do this, so please don't believe that type of nonsense."

How do you know that not all men/boys do this?
I've never known a man who has never looked at a naked pic. Unless they're priests. And we all know that isn't always true either. And I know lots of very religious people.

For the record, most girls/women have done it too. Even if they profess not to have done it.

 

[ksumn1]

They're laughing at you saying "For the record, not all men/boys do this, so please don't believe that type of nonsense."

How do you know that not all men/boys do this?
I've never known a man who has never looked at a naked pic. Unless they're priests. And we all know that isn't always true either. And I know lots of very religious people.

For the record, most girls/women have done it too. Even if they profess not to have done it.

I'll give my personal story now. I caught my 11 yr old googling "intercourse". Not exactly the same as porn sites since she was looking general information and medical type websites. she was curious. She'd been told the how and all that other information but just didn't "get it" so I checked out another book from the library that had illustrations. She was actually more curious about fertilization, menstruation and pregnancy that sex. (Or so she claimed)

Anyway, we did give her the computer virus talk and that the internet is not where you should turn for answers. Then we also had the full pregnancy, STD's, baby talk. She was mortified and I, of course, drug is out as long as I possible could as punishment. So she got her warning.

But it just goes to show that girls are curious too. Funny enough, after the whole thing was over DH remarked how much easier it was for boys. Just give them the talk and a stack of old Playboys!

 

[lilybrooke14]

I think I'd take away the computer for now, since he broke the rules. Have a super fun talk about how all the mechanics work, it's normal, yadda yadda, but internet porn can be some pretty nasty stuff. Plus, you can get some pretty nasty online viruses.

Then give the kid a Playboy or two, or at the very least a Victoria Secret catalog. Tell him to stick it under his mattress and you never want to see it again. I wouldn't worry too much about it though. I went to a college that had a 4/1 male to female ratio, and lived in a co-ed dorm. Most of the guy friends that we have now went to college with DH and I and we knew them then as well. They were rather proud at the time of their newfound freedom of porn surfing, and none of them grew up to be depraved individuals.