Pulling the kids out of school..

[kathleena]

Take the time for your vacation and don't worry about school. 20 or 30 years from now the only thing that will matter is that your child grew up with a loving caring family.

 

[Lisa3]

Family time is eating dinner together every night...as a family.

Family time is spending time together on the weekend.

While I agree with you that these are very important times, for many busy families this is just not possible on a daily basis. Yes, we try to eat as a family but you have to understand that that includes myself and the kids. DH is out working seven days a week during our busy season and usually until well past dinner time in order for me to be a "stay at home" Mom with our kids. My kids have plenty of time with me (sometimes too much) but may not see their father except to say goodnight for several days at a time.

I believe the main reason parents pull their kids out of school is because it is easier on them either financially and/or because there are less crowds.

We have a seasonal business which does not allow us to vacation any time during the year except late fall. If DH does not work, he does not get paid. There is no "paid" vacation time when you are self employed in a small business.

On the flip side, he is able to arrange his schedule to see their school plays and other important events during the daytime. Our vacations are a time when we can bond together again as a family. It allows my children to see their father as a "dad" who enjoys sharing special places and things with them. Somehow, the rushed dinners and mowing the lawn on weekends just don't do the same thing.

Please think twice before you judge when people should take their vacations. You don't know other people's situations and even if the reason is purely financial, maybe it's for the greater good of that particular family's welfare.

Although I agree that missing a few days of kindergarten does mean the child will not get into Harvard, I think it sets a precedent in the child’s mine that going to see Mickey Mouse is more important than school.

To say that I am teaching my children that school is to be taken lightly is an insult. I am very fortunate to have 3 very bright children who do exceptionally well in school. I attribute this mostly to their hard work but also to the amount of time I am able to spend with my kids helping them with their homework, being involved in their activities and showing them that learning is a lifelong process that can be fun and exciting. If I felt that pulling them out of school affected them negatively in any way I wouldn't do it. My children have learned geography, reading, mathematics and spelling on our drives to Florida. They can read a map, locate state capitals and determine how long it will take us to go a certain distance when traveling at a given speed (these kids are still in elementary school). The best is that they don't even realize they are learning important skills that they will use over and over again in life.

Sorry this is so long. I just had to blow off a little steam. I really dislike when others are so judgemental. Everyone needs to evaluate their own situation and make the best decision possible. There are no guarantees in life.

 

[Tesabat]

Originally posted by Lisa3
Everyone needs to evaluate their own situation and make the best decision possible. There are no guarantees in life.

Oh, this is a subject near and dear to my heart.

We pulled our son out once before as he actually only missed 2 days of school. I was very nervous, but it ended up not being a problem. Other than that, we usually vacation right before school starts up.

However, this year, he's in 7th, and we are pulling him out for four days! Same week as before, different school, different calendar. I'm VERY nervous...but then mad at myself for being so. I keep telling myself that whatever the school throws at us can't possibly be worse than what life threw at us this past year.

We booked the vacation when I found out about a health condition...thinking - rightly - it would give the whole family something to look forward to. I had to live away for several weeks and my son would call me and say "Don't be sad Mom - Just think about the cruise! That's what I'm doing!" For my DH - also self-employed - it's difficult to take time off during summer or the holidays...And, we thought in the summer, I might not be "quite there" yet, and during the holidays, we knew extended family would be hurt by our absence.

My family did end up surprising me with a mini-vaca to WL in July...but I struggled physically. I'm already so much stronger now than I was even then...that I know by Nov., I'll be able to really kick up my heels with my family and finally be back to my "old self" again. We are looking foward to this trip more than we've ever done so before.

I think about the memories we will be making together, and I know I'm right to pull him out. Then, I think about how much harder 7th grade is - and how difficult some of the teachers will be about it and I'm doubting our decision!! We are going anyways, so I'm trying - operative word here - trying - not to feel TOO guilty!

And, therefore Lisa's quote was right on the mark for me. Thank you.

 

[tardin1964]

Tesabat

In my previous post I was just picking apart the reasons most people give as excuses for pulling their kids out of school. Of course every individual situation is different. In your case I think your making the right decision. I hope you are feeling up to "kicking up your heels" and feeling like your "old self" again during your trip. God bless.

I will respond to Lisa's post in a future post.

 

[MJames41]

Tesabat,

I also think you are making the right decision. I've pulled my kids out of school 2 out of the last 4 trips, and will be pulling my son out on the next trip. For those 2 trips, my daughter was in high school (not doing well - in the bottom 15%) and my son has been in jr. high and high school (in the top 15%). The results of the trips? My daughter graduated in the bottom 15%, and my son is still in the top 15%. However, our family is closer, and I have excellent communication with a teenage daughter who has moved out, and with a teenage son who is still living here.

tardin1964 I can respect your opinion, although for my situation, I respectfully disagree. You see my wife died when my son was 3 months old. I'm a single parent trying to provide for my children. This often involves 60 to 70 hour work weeks. When that happens, a family dinner once a week is a victory. I agree that it is worth it, so every effort is spent to accomplish family dinners. Also, family time on the weekend is and has always been an important time for us. When they were younger (before there liscenses) I made them go shopping with me (oh the horror, one of their friends might see them spending quality time with uncool dad). Now that they have their own liscenses (and my daughter has moved out) it's harder to pin them down, but I still try.

Is it cheaper then? Yes, it is. I couldn't afford a regular season visit, neither financially nor physically. If it wasn't for what I have learned from the boards, I couldn't afford to go that often at all.

I feel what I am teaching my children is just as important as any lesson they would learn in school. They know school is a priority based on how I treat it during the year - they aren't allowed out unless their homework is done, things like that. But, school, nor my work, is more important than the family. It is reinforced for us on our trips by our spending Thanksgiving with my dad on the winter trips (he lives 2 hours away from Orlando near Ocala). I know that helps with the lesson as well.

My perspective is different than many. Being a single parent from necessity rather than by choice perhaps has changed some of my priority's. Also, my daughter was hit by a car 6 years ago (when she was 12), and came very close to dieing. If, God forbid, anything should happen to me or to one of them, I want as many happy memories as I/they can get before hand. If it means missing a few days of school, I say it's a bargain. Just my thoughts.

 

[toystorymom]

DS will miss 5 days of 1st grade this November. I didn't think I would ever have them miss school for vacation but we're going to give it a try. Our other boys are still in preschool.

Last year, he had perfect attendance in Kindergarten until almost the end of the year when he got sick and was hospitalized for a few days. He missed a full week of school and when he got back it was like he never left. There wasn't even any work to make up. On my own, I had him write a journal about his experiences in the hospital to bring to his teacher. She thought it was great and I will save it forever! I plan on having him do the same thing for our vacation in addition to any work the teacher assigns.

I admit I am nervous about telling the teacher. I plan on waiting until our first parent conferences - by then she'll know how brilliant he is anyway and that he won't suffer missing a few days. I definitely agree it depends on the individual child and how well he/she is doing in school.

I know someone mentioned the school calendar. I asked at the end of last school year and again this summer while my son attended a summer workshop there. Both times I was told (somewhat rudely) that the calendar would not be available until the first week of school. That kind of made any advance planning difficult.

So, to the original poster, I know how you feel but I'm doing it anyway. They are only little once, enjoy it, and don't sweat the small stuff.

 

[Sammie]

Originally posted by tardin1964
I for one am not in favor of taking kids out of school to go on vacation.

Although I agree that missing a few days of kindergarten does mean the child will not get into Harvard, I think it sets a precedent in the child’s mine that going to see Mickey Mouse is more important than school.

Using the argument that it's family time and that they learn a different lesson on vacation than at school really doesn't cut it.

Family time is eating dinner together every night...as a family.

Family time is spending time together on the weekend.

Family time is definitely going on vacation, however, when you have school age children it should be done during summer break, winter break or Easter break. Or it should be done during other times when your kids are off from school.

I believe the main reason parents pull their kids out of school is because it is easier on them either financially and/or because there are less crowds. The kids will have a great time whenever they go.

And before anyone makes a comment on my countdown timer, most schools in New Jersey are closed the first week of November for teacher conferences. This is the first time my kids school district has closed the whole week. This will be our first family trip to WDW. I've waited till now (DD 5 and DD 7) because it works out well for all of us. No school missed and value season rates.

My two...well maybe three cents.

Have to agree with Tardin, if the only time you can go is during school then going is probably more important that the days missed at school. However as stated if your reason for going during school instead of regular school break times is purely convinence, then I think it sends the wrong messsage as to priorities.

When your child is older and in college will you care if he/she takes a week off of class to go to WDW, when he/she could go during break times. If you have a problem with that, then you might want to remember who gave them the idea it would be ok to do this.

Also I think this decision is best made by the parent, the child if older, and the school your child attends. Anyone's elses opinion, including mine, is really not important.

 

[ceecee]

I admit I'm starting to feel a tad quilty (third year) DD is in 2nd grade and is in an accelerated program (which won't start until Oct). We are taking her out for 6 days end of Sept. Last year she would have had perfect attendance had it not been for vacation. I missed 2 wks in 11th grade for a Europeon vacation, I still remember the history as well as the great family time. I admit we could go in the summer and we have. DD hates the lines as much as we do. I am sure as she gets older, we will change the time we go. The OP is talking about a Kindergartener not a college kid. Admittedly Pre-school is now for socialization more than the first real year of school, but the first several months are so much review, our DD missed nothing by being gone a week, she knew from 2 years of preschool everything she had to start with in Kindergarten.

 

[ls1222]

I am starting to get nervous about telling the school as well. We will be taking our children out (3rd, 1st, and preschool) for 6 days the beginning of October. We did this last year and the teacher was great about it, I'm hoping to be so lucky again. Part of me feels that they are our children and we will make the decision but the school have a way of making you feel that you are a horrible parent. Our vacation has been planned for 6 months and everything is paid for so whether or not the school likes it, we are still going. I just hope that they will work with us. My husband builds homes and the summer is just not an option for us.

 

[pann]

I know how you are feeling. We are taking my 8y.o. & 14 y.o. out of school for 5 days. I tried to find out the school schedule earlier, but was not released until recently. My husband had to put his vacation in during January & since he is low on the management ladder, November was the only choice. I also work alot of hours in the spring & summer. In this day in age, it takes 2 working parents to survive. We also work 2 shifts, so one parent is with the kids all the time. So family time doesn't come so often. I have had sleepless nights, worrying about this, especially taking my 14 y.o. out. But this is the age we need to have a good relationship together---it is even more important than education. We have even scheduled a tutor before we go to help her along. I will feel better after talking with the teachers.

 

[Lisa3]

tardin1964 - Before you completely flame me, I have to appologize for being so defensive to some of your statements. I really did need to blow off steam and unfortunately your post gave me that little push over the edge. I still stand behind what I said but I could have said it in a nicer way. Sorry

Sometimes it's very difficult being a "stay at home" Mom. Most people assume I don't work because DH has his own business and there is no need. They couldn't be farther from the truth (I actually had one woman who couldn't understand why I don't have a cleaning lady!). You also seem to get very little respect from many other people even though you are the one taking your time to coach their child's team, be their child's scouts leader or their child's Sunday School teacher. I am very cautious about the decisions I make for my kids and I guess that is why I am so defensive when someone questions my judgement. I have to work on not taking things so personally. You obviously were not speaking directly to me.

In the end, everyone has a right to their own opinion and what is beneficial for one family may be detrimental to another. I certainly have had cause to question the parenting practices of some of the teenagers in my neighborhood (now there's a few who could benefit from being taken on a family vacation-maybe Mom & Dad would actually be forced to pay attention to the way their children behave)!

 

[suevee]

My daughter allows me to pull my granddaughter out of school in February to take trips to Florida. My parents are retired in Florida and in fragile health. This year we have had two close calls with my father and one with my mother. They do not travel and though they want to see their great grand children, they cannot spend a long time with them. Also it seems they are better able to function in the winter than the summer. In the summer they are housebound because of the heat and humidity.

Our solution is to visit in February. Our jobs do not allow visits at Christmas. Since my parents are only an hour from WDW, we alternate days. A day at WDW and a day at great-grandmas - if they are up to it. Sometimes we only spend two or three days at my parents - but they love the time with their great-grand child even if it does wear them out. If I did not take my granddaughter with us she would never have the opportunity to know and remember her great-grandparents. In my opinion, this is as important as school. WDW is just a great side adventure!

By the way I do make other mini trips by myself to help my parents through their health crisises, but that is not an appropriate time to take my granddaughter.

 

[tardin1964]

Lisa3

Believe it or not, I was not planning on flaming you. I was going to say that each family has to make the best decisions they can for their family given their circumstances, and every rule has an exception.

The main reason for my original post was to give a different opinion to the ones given by the majority. If someone really wants an objective opinion to the original question, these message boards are really not the place to get it.

I totally stand by my original post. But it was meant to be in response to previous posts like (I'm going to paraphrase here) "of course it is ok to take the kids out of school because going to WDW is good family time" or "it's cheaper" or "it's not as crowded".

Being that we are both from NJ I am sure we can share some similar experiences on how families pull their kids out of school to go to WDW for really no good reason. I think it is becoming more prevalent in recent years also.

Anyway...we are getting much to serious in this thread. We should get back to sharing our experiences on WDW and having a good time.

Do you mind if I ask about how your school district is handling the teachers conferences the first week of November. I live in Old Bridge and usually they close for just the Thursday and Friday. This year they decided to close the schools for the whole week. My sisters live in Scotch Plains and Berkeley Heights and their districts are only closing for the Thursday and Fri. also. I just think it is strange to close for a whole week...although it has worked out great as far as planning our first family trip to WDW

 

[kashkdz]

This has been an interesting topic, and I've read through all the replies. I guess I too get annoyed when someone asks about our vacation and I tell them where/when we are going; and their response is "what are you going to do, take the kids out of school?..we would NEVER take OUR kids out of school for a vacation." Initially I stare at them as if I'm about to poke them in the eyes (just kidding--I think, because I haven't done it 'yet'), and then after my boiling blood returns to normal temperature, I answer them simply and calmly with 'well it's the only time we can go to Disney (if that's where we're going) this year'.

Now, our family is fortunate enough to go on a few vacations a year, and unfortunately we are unable to schedule them all during the summer months or during school breaks. If we squeeze all of our vacations in during the summer then great, but sometimes we go during a not so busy time of the school year (ie., week before Thanksgiving, etc). Additionally when we do go during the school year, we inform the teacher early of our plans, and my kids are able to make up the assigned work before/after our trip. Fortunately, my two children (third is just starting pre-k) that are in school are doing very well. No problems.

Now more specifically with Disney World in mind. I'm not a big fan of spending a lot of money to stand in LONG lines in the blistering heat especially with small children. I'm just amazed that some people for the sake of going to Disney when "schools out", return to tell me the same thing that they were completely exasperated the whole time while on vacation. They waited in lines up to an hour, the kids were miserable, and they were able to ride on most rides only ONCE. Gee that sounds like a lot of fun to me..NOT !!..wow, you went to Disney and it was so HOT during the summer, and the kids were really cranky, and you were frustrated the whole time because of the crowds...Hello ! What did you expect !!! Meanwhile, when we go temps are more reasonable and crowds are more manageable. We are able to do everything that we planned, and we are actually 'enjoying' our vacation guilt free. And best of all, it's usually at reduced prices.

My intent here is certainly not to offend anyone, but rather inform those that pass judgement about when others take their vacations. I don't tell you when to go on vacation so please don't tell me. Especially when you return from your Disney vacation, and have nothing but complaints about your trip. Enough said.

 

[diathoney]

I have taken my kids to Disney during the school year. They make up the work they miss. Actually it helps them go to school on the days when they don't want to go to school, but are not sick. I tell them we won't be able to go to Disney if they don't go and get good grades. Disney is a reward for doing well and incentive to "keep up the good work!"

 

[claudia]

I think that you know your own child/children better than anyone else. It truly does not matter what anyone else chooses to do, as each family has their own beliefs and values. If you as a family choose to take this option and the teacher/school district is supportive then you should go. Never feel quilty about choices made. If you do, possibly then you should reconsider.
As far as my story, we have taken our son out of school every year in November. The district has no school the day before election day, election day and the Friday of that same week. We usually stay about 10 days, so he misses 4-5 days. He is an A+ student, we talk with the teachers, he brings all his assignments and does a travel diary as well. This year he will be entering the 7th grade and has asked us not to take the November vacation. He feels that it would not be good for him to miss school. Naturally we respect his decision, so we are heading down on Christmas break. ......not looking forward to the crowds, but we will be much more relaxed as a family!!

 

[drogerstn]

If my vacation time was only available while my kids are in school, then I would consider pulling them out of school for vacation. I would not take them out simply out of convenience; this would send the wrong message about commitment to work and education.

If I have a day off while my kids are in school, I’m not going to tell them to skip school so we can go fishing or play golf together (family time) because it is less crowded on weekdays and the weather looks bad for the weekend. I don’t want them to learn that its okay to skip school to have fun. If I was a kid, I’d love to skip school to go on vacation!

 

[conNH]

Wow what a responce! I can see 99.9 % of you think its not a big deal to take the kids out and after reading everything I agree! I talked w/ my DS teacher this afternoon and she told me she has four kids and takes them out every year! I no longer feel any gult! Thanks for all your help guys!

 

[G-gang]

Just wanted to say that after just getting back from an awesome vacation of beautiful weather and no crowds I would pull my kids out of school in a second. We had the best time b/c we didn't have to wait 90 minutes to get on a ride--we walked on to everything and had plenty of time to relax by the pool everyday. Our experience was wonderful and my children learned a lot. We plan on returning in Sept. of 2005.

 

[K P & J's Grandma]

G-gang
Glad that you had a great time!!! We always took our boys out of school to go to WDW also. Didn't want the crowds or heat!! We now have grandchildren that we have taken with us to WDW. What a wonderful experience!!! Two of them just started Kindergarten - one of our daughter-in-laws is a teacher & she has said that her children will NOT miss school for vacation!! We are really hoping that we can 'change' her mind so that one day we can take our grandson with us again - we don't want to go during the summer or spring breaks. Guess that we will have to keep our finger crossed!!! In November we are going with another son & daughter-in-law along with their two girls - one will be missing Kindergarten for this trip -- we are looking forward to seeing Disney thru the 'eye's of a grandchild' once again!!!!