Oh for goodness sakes, and you accused ME of taking things to an extreme
No, of course, I would not pat myself on the back is a child's face fell in response to any comment I made. But I would not feel it meant the comment was an issue and I should ever comment on a similar thing to another person. I would think the child seems very insecure, or petulant (depending on the face) and not generalize it to others. And, I CARE but I do not think I (or anyone) should be required to try to guess what random things people might be insecure about, things that are not normally issues for normal people with halfway decent self esteem. How could I possibly guess them?
Interesting example you picked about unusual names. Mine is Hadley. Until about 5 years ago most people had never heard of it. Most people comment on it being unusual. Many ask where I got it from or ask if it is a boy's name or whatever. I never mind at all and am happy to explain that i am named after Hemmingway's first wife.
My kids have unusual names too (Marika and Rio) and both get comments on them and neither has ever seemed to mind.
My husband is 6'5" and very broad shouldered and people comment on his size all the time, he takes it as a compliment and has no issue with it. Oh, and lately people tell him he reminds them of the actor who plays Marshall on How I Met Your Mother. Again, he is fine with it and plays it up.
The concept of being upset with someone for commenting on an obvious feature, unless the person was just really rude and said something like "what an ugly name, why on earth would your parents give you that" or "OMG how horrendous to be so freakishly tall" is just completely foreign to me--and the concept of justifying that type of reaction if my child had one and wanting others to stop making normal conversation is even more so.
Of course we aren't expected to guess what people are insecure about, but I try to be kind. I also try to teach my kids to let things roll off their backs, don't worry about what others say, try to look for the good, they're just making conversation, etc., even though it's a hard lesson for me to internalize (I'm working on it!) I don't expect people to watch every word but I do think people need to be responsible for what they say. Sometimes the line between a conversation starter and the examples in your last paragraph is a fine one. 
This is how I feel. I wouldn't say it to someone - I grew up with a sister who's 5'10 1/2, she heard about it all the time, and hated it. Still does. I am glad I'm not that tall, so if I said to someone "my gosh you are tall!", (really specifically to another woman or to a really tall child), I wouldn't be saying it as a compliment. So, I don't say it.So what is the issue?
Are no comments on physical characteristics allowed? In my family that would mean no comments on DH'd height, or how i am a foot shorter than him, or DD's height until recently (she topped out at 5'9"), how much DD looks like her dad, DD's hair, DS's big feet or long eye lashes or how thin he used to be or how tall he is now, my hair, my eyes, how short i am compared to my family, etc
and let's see, complimenting clothes leads to materialism
and commenting on someone's name might bother them--maybe they don't like their name.
asking where they go to school? Maybe the child has severe anxiety and has to be homeschooled or use an online school and the question will make them uncomfortable (FYI--you think that is a stretch? This IS one of my kids, but she knows how to politely answer and knows it is just a small talk thing nad not meant to make her uncomfortable and she is working on not minding it at all).
Seriously, some of you people would leave virtually nothing for people who are not very close friends to talk about--and you;ll never MAKE very close friends if you cannot talk to people.
I understand what you are saying but some of us just aren't programmed that way. I'm jealous of those who are.
In regards to the OP, though, I would try not to comment on someone's height. It just seems trite. And after reading this thread, some people are sensitive to it and some people aren't. I'd rather err on the side of caution.
, besides I am a true hippy at heart
So what is the issue?
Are no comments on physical characteristics allowed? In my family that would mean no comments on DH'd height, or how i am a foot shorter than him, or DD's height until recently (she topped out at 5'9"), how much DD looks like her dad, DD's hair, DS's big feet or long eye lashes or how thin he used to be or how tall he is now, my hair, my eyes, how short i am compared to my family, etc
and let's see, complimenting clothes leads to materialism
and commenting on someone's name might bother them--maybe they don't like their name.
asking where they go to school? Maybe the child has severe anxiety and has to be homeschooled or use an online school and the question will make them uncomfortable (FYI--you think that is a stretch? This IS one of my kids, but she knows how to politely answer and knows it is just a small talk thing nad not meant to make her uncomfortable and she is working on not minding it at all).
Seriously, some of you people would leave virtually nothing for people who are not very close friends to talk about--and you;ll never MAKE very close friends if you cannot talk to people.
I had to share this. I just went to a eye doctors office a couple hrs ago to schedule an appt. the receptionist was checking my insurance info., and was giggling & laughing abt my "happy" last name (which she already did over the phone yesterday). I gave no reaction, and got preoccupied with my 5-yr old. She then got on the phone with a woman from the insurance co. And tee-heed w/ her abt my last name. She said, "yup, it is jolly, just like Santa Claus! You know, ho-ho-ho"! Lol! I don't know if she wanted a reaction, but I pretended I didn't hear, and became absorbed in looking at glasses. It isn't that I'm offended, but I honestly don't know how to respond to that. I'm a little stand offish, and not the best socializer if I don't know the person.heatherleigh said:
