Proud Mommy Moment/ Momma bear is coming out

[Mickeyteacher]

First of all, DS took a 2.5 hour karate test on Saturday. At times it did not look like he was going to pass the test. However, DS dug deep and fought hard to earn his red belt on Saturday. He cried all the way home from the test. Part of the stress, the nerves and the physical tiredness of the test. I was so proud of him!
Fast foward to tonight, he had karate and the instuctor did a challenge. The higher belts and the lower belt faced off doing a combination move. Ds faced a child 2 belts lower then him. The other child says he beat ds in the combination, so the instructor gives DS new red belt to the child to take home for the week. The instructor did not see the combination.
Now, in the past when they have done challenges the belts have only been exchanges for that class period. DS has lost his belt many times and gotten a higher belt many times. Not a big deal, they exchange back at the end of class.
So I was shocked and surprised tonight with DH brough DS home without his red belt. Ds went to bed saying he had failed.
What would you do?
S

 

[MazdaUK]

Ring the instructor and have a quiet word - sport teachers (IMHO) are not known for their sensitivity to those who come second

Also tell DS no-one has failed. He will get his belt back - he passed his test and was probably still tired so not surprised he didn't do so well in the lesson. Sometimes instructors act as if everyone is at the same level - emotionally as well as in terms of skill. This is not helpful, and if you continue to have problems you may want to see if there's a less pressured place he could go.

 

[PrincessNancy96]

I'd first want to drop the instructor..first inclination would be to drop kick his back side for this.... especially since he did NOT see the combination that they younger kids "supposedly" won on... That is like passing a kid with an A on a test but the teacher can't find the test to prove the kid got an A and passed it!!!! KWIM?

Tell Big Man that next class he comes in re-challenges little Mr. and takes his belt back!!! He is not a failure...it was exhaustion from the 2.5 hour test!!!!

As for the instructor, I would still be addressing that practice.... While he may have been doing this for a while. .If you don't see the action...how can you reward the action??? That is just dumb!!!!!

Tell Big Man, his Auntie Nan is still proud of him!!!!

 

[ddavis860]

CONGRATS TO YOUR DS FOR THE RED BELT!!

I agree, a word with the instructor is in order. Is this the new thing? Taking for the week, not just for class? As for believing the other kid, was your DS contesting the win? Just wondering. My kids didn't do that kind of sport, so not sure of the honor code of it all. Your poor DS! He must have been exhausted, and not getting the win is so understandable!

But to take away something so newly EARNED, and doing it in a way that seems new and different to the kids in the class without explaination that this is the "new" way of doing things seems cruel! My Mommy Claws would be out too! It seems like an injustice! Very hurtful!

 

[mommy2mrb]

First off WAY TO GO!!! that's a great accomplishment and he should be very proud of himself!!

I would talk to the instructor too, maybe they changed their way of how long they give the belts to the other kids and didn't tell you all.

Tell you DS to get plently of rest before his next challenge and go kick some tushy!!

 

[BernardandMissBianca]

what Nan said!!!!

If the instructor didn't see the combo then who's to say it really happened. Maybe brat wanted the new shiny red belt your DS had. Jealousy is an ugly thing!!

Tell Big Man that wether he has the belt or not he still earned it and that's what counts!! We are super proud of him!!

 

[jacksmomma]

I admit I do not know karate, but I think it is insane that one kid gets to take home a piece of equipment that belongs to your child and that you paid for! (Either out right or in the way of tuition or uniform fees.) I would call the instructor and tell him that your kid wants his belt back...and that you will be taking lessons at a different studio from now on!

Ugh! People think that sports are the end all be all and that winning is all that counts...I just do not get it!

 

[Mickeyteacher]

I'm so glad that everyone posted what they would have done.
Here is what I did.... I call the studio last night on my way home from dance with DD. I left a message that I wanted to understand what happened, why the belt was taken and exactly why.
Almost 2 hours later, I recieved a phone call. From the instructors tone of voice, I could tell he was upset that he had upset ds. He said that he did not think the challenge through and was sorry that he did not think it through. He asked if he could return Ds's belt last night. I kindly reminded him that it was well after ds bedtime and that we where headed to bed also.
I then told the instructor that I would be happy to bring ds by this afternoon for him to return the belt. (I felt that it was important that he return it to ds himself, since he had taken it away)
When we arrived at the studio, the instructor left his class (with the other instructor) and met with ds and I in the office. He applogized to ds for what happened last night, said he had talked with the other student and that the other students mom was shocked when the instructor gave him the belt because the combination was not complete (that is what ds insisted happened). She returned the belt this morning before the instructor had a chance to call her because she did not think her son had earned it fairly.
I know the other family involved from the class, so I will talk with her the next time we see eachother.
As we talked this afternoon, the instructor told Ds that all his hard work on Saturday and for the last 4 months was not gone. He told him how proud he was of all the hard work and told ds that he had made a mistake and that we all made mistakes. He told ds that his was important that he understand that he was truly sorry for upsetting ds last night and that he had learned an important lesson about thinking through challenges before presenting them to the class.
The instructor shared that he went home and discussed the situation with his wife (who is a teacher) and she told him that he had made a very big mistake.

I'm proud of ds because today, he was able to tell the instructor exactly how he felt last night and that he knows that even adults make mistakes.

 

[Mickeyteacher]

Ds said to tell all his Disaunties thanks!

 

[morgansmom2000]

I'm glad it all worked out! Good for him on the belt and the grown up attitude!

 

[mommy2mrb]

That's great....nice to know the instructor knew he was wrong and manned up to your DS!!

 

[party of 3]

Wow! I'm so glad it turned out the way it did. Good for your son for telling how it made him feel!! You should be so proud of him!

 

[BernardandMissBianca]

I'm glad it worked out in the end. I wouldn't worry to much about talking to the mom, however I hope the Sensei speaks to the other boy about honor. That kid lied, period. You never lie to your Sensei.

 

[PrincessNancy96]

So glad to hear it all worked out and that the instructor (as well as all involved) took home a very big appreciation for thinking things thru and learning from mistakes.. Yup, we all make them.. *as my DH, he made a big one before he married me!!!* to my Big Man.. he deserved that Red Belt!!!! Glad it's back where it belongs!!!

 

[rlovew]

Glad it has all worked out and it taught a number of people lessons from the sound of it.

Congrats again to DS!!!

Rebecca

 

[TinkerBean]

I love a happy ending...I needed to read something good tonight and this did it for me. Congrats to your son for a good job!

 

[Mickeyteacher]

I'm glad it worked out in the end. I wouldn't worry to much about talking to the mom, however I hope the Sensei speaks to the other boy about honor. That kid lied, period. You never lie to your Sensei.

I agree. I will let the sensei handle that one. Dh and I are trying to make sure ds and dd always tell the truth.

So glad to hear it all worked out and that the instructor (as well as all involved) took home a very big appreciation for thinking things thru and learning from mistakes.. Yup, we all make them.. *as my DH, he made a big one before he married me!!!* to my Big Man.. he deserved that Red Belt!!!! Glad it's back where it belongs!!!

Yes- he did, but you have wonderful step children from it!

Glad it has all worked out and it taught a number of people lessons from the sound of it.

Congrats again to DS!!!

Rebecca

Me too! I think the instructor will think twice about challenges.

I love a happy ending...I needed to read something good tonight and this did it for me. Congrats to your son for a good job!

I hope you have a good evening!

 

[ddavis860]

That was a great ending!

 

[DisneyIsTerrific]

Congratulations to your DS on his red belt. That's an awesome accomplishment!

And, I'm so glad this worked out and the instructor owned up to your DS about making the mistake and apologized. I think the instructor learned a lot from this episode and I'm glad your DS's red belt is back where it belongs.

 

[MazdaUK]

I'm so glad its all sorted. well done to your DS for his mature attitude (doubt I would have been able to meet the instructor calmly). And glad the instructor has from the incident