Proud Mom alert...can I brag please!

[mudnuri]

DD8 was just sitting at the kitchen table doing her math homework when out of the blue we had this conversation

DD- "you know mom, this is kind of rude but Im glad 'susie and jane' aren't in my math group"

ME- "What do you mean by that goo?"

DD- "well, they have math when I have reading block, so I dont see them until 11:30 every day"

ME- "And why is that rude?"

DD- "Well mom, 'Lizzie' and I wanted to be their friend, but they said we had to take a test to d that. I told Lizzie we shouldnt do that. But mom, 'Maggie' is already their friend and SHE didnt have to take a test"

ME- "so whats up with this test goo? what do you do?"

DD- "well, I'm not sure, but I told Lizzie, theres no reason we should have to take a test to be someones friend, so we're not going to. "

ME- "Well, sounds like you made a pretty good decision today"

DD- "yup, and I even told them, we're not going to take a test, if you want to be friends with us we will be friends with you, but you should like us no matter about a test."

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh the joys of 3rd grade!!!

DD's proven she's got a stable head on her shoulders...yeah!!! I'm glad she didnt 'cave'

Brandh

 

[gr8tpanther]

Can I send my DD10 to stay with YOU for awhile? CONGRATS to her for making a GOOD choice!!! You should have to pass a TEST to be a friend, geesh!!!

 

[Microcell]

I need to print this and give to my DD to read! She is such a people pleaser that I really fear for her. Tell your DD Good Job!!!

 

[mommytotwo]

Sounds like your daughter has some good influences in her life.

 

[dvcfamily41801]

Good for her and good for you too mom!

 

[Sandy V.]

Hooray for your daughter - she's got a great head on her shoulders!

Welcome to 3rd grade - there's more to follow, unfortunately. Girls are the meanest, although boys can get their digs in too. My daughter is almost 17, and she STILL deals with this stuff from time to time. Fortunately, she's got a wide circle of friends and has developed tremendous coping skills to deal with crap.

She came home from the football game on Friday night and told me about how all of the so-called "popular" kids were backstabbing each other. Nicole said, "Mom, if they say this stuff to me about their friends, I'm sure they're saying the same ABOUT ME behind my back. What losers." I was proud of her for coming to that conclusion!!

 

[mudnuri]

Boy do I wish it was easier to be a girl!...

I remember this behavior! I know it's only going to get worse once they hit the middle school age!...

I was telling DH about her incident and he was very suprised that she did/said what she did! She use to be such a "okay if you say so" type.

We have had a lot of discussions this summer about peer pressure, and the like, I'm glad it paid off!

We had a discussion at supper tonight about why some girls do this, and we've (both DD's) figured out that they must be really not happy inside, to treat people that way. I'm so proud of them, and hope and pray they continue to be one step ahead.

DD did tell me that she's spoken to some other girls, and told them that everyone can be everyones friend, and theres no reason for tests. I guess some other girls were upset about it too.

FYI- one of the test questions- "do you have an American Girl Doll?".... Now, yes my girls do, my mom bought them each a doll for their birthday, HOWEVER as you probably know, these are very expensive dolls...we live in a very low income area. 75% of the girls in DD's school dont have an American Girl doll...what a way to pick friends

Nicole said, "Mom, if they say this stuff to me about their friends, I'm sure they're saying the same ABOUT ME behind my back. What losers." I was proud of her for coming to that conclusion!!

Congrats to her! girls and some grown women can be so mean to eachother!


thanks everyone for the "pat on the back" moms can certainly use them!

Brandy

 

[decker96]

What a smart girl you've got!!

Is it my imagination or are girls getting meaner? I don't remember this kind of stuff going on when I was a kid until at least Jr. High. My oldest DD is only in 1st grade, so we haven't had to deal with anything like this yet, but I'm sure it's coming. My DD likes and is nice to everyone, but she is very sensitive, I can see the hurt feelings being an issue at our house. Something I'm not looking forward to. ((Sigh)).

 

[mudnuri]

My DD likes and is nice to everyone, but she is very sensitive, I can see the hurt feelings being an issue at our house. Something I'm not looking forward to. ((Sigh)).

start now with the peer pressure stuff! I tell ya last year, she was not like this...she'd have caved, come home crying all upset etc..

What we try to do is have these types of discussions at the dinner table, that way its a neutral ground, and neither of the DD's feels singled out. Everything we have to discuss thats important is done during dinner...they seem to be very receptive during that time. I didnt think it sunk in, but by golly it did!

Good luck
Brandy

 

[Serena]

We need a clapping smilie.

 

[LisaZoe]

Wow, that was a very mature way to deal with the situation. My DD isn't even 3 yet and I've started basic talks about "peer pressure"... not that I use that term. For example, she's used some expressions (nothing profane just not nice) that I don't like that I know she picked up from older kids. While this may not be peer pressure in the usual sense, I do want to instill in her at an early age that she should not do something just because another child does.

I remember all too well how cruel children of both sexes can be. I was overweight at a fairly young age and got teased about it. I also recall, I think it was in 3rd or 4th grade, having a group of girls drag my friend and I onto the unpaved section of the playground so they could pelt us with snowballs. The rule was that you could not through snow on the paved areas so my friend and I tried to avoid the problem by staying there. Unfortunately, no teacher saw this and it was our word against theres... although our teacher was more inclined to take our word over the ones he referred to as "the junior mafia" (my mom told me this a couple of years later). I should point out that this happened at a school in a town of about 1000 people so it happens everywhere.