This is painful for me to read, Hillbeans.
I was down a very similar road, and unfortunately, didn't wind up having that second child I so desperately wanted.
I have a very healthy, wonderful 8 year-old boy. I am very grateful to God that He gave him. I don't know why yet that I wasn't blessed a second time, but I have faith that God has more wisdom than I do and there is a reason for it.
I really hope somewhere down the road it works out for you.