Problem with my preschooler on the bus today

[jenrose66]

I'd like to know how mad this would make you.

DS is 4 and he had a half day of school. His bus ride home takes about 40 minutes so I was expecting him home around 11:40 to 11:45. He did not return home. I thought the bus could have been delayed but finally at 12:15 I was really starting to worry. I called the bus company and they radioed the driver who said she'd bring my son home in 5 minutes.

He was the only child on the bus by that time and when the driver dropped him off and even though he had his regular aide and bus driver that morning, he did have a substitute bus driver and aide for the ride home.

I asked the bus driver what happened and she said that she called out my son's name (and there are two Jack's on the bus) and he didn't answer so she assumed he was not on the bus and she didn't drive down our street

Did I mention my son is 4 years old. The burden should not be on him to listen for his name to be called to get dropped off at his home. I asked him why he didn't answer the bus driver and he said he didn't hear her say his name. If the driver would have followed her route she would have seen me waiting outside for him and he would have got off the bus.

I guess what makes me mad is nobody said they were sorry. The bus driver and aide blamed my son for not answering to his name. When I called the bus company to complain they told me that these things happen and that what's important is that he's safe. I agree his safety is the most important, but still. I feel that this is an unacceptable mistake to make. I have lost faith that these people can competently transport my child and from now on I will drive him to and from school.

I mean what would have happened had I not called the school. Would he have been left at a bus terminal or driven to god knows where? That's a scary thought to me.

 

[MiniGirl]

I'd like to know how mad this would make you.

DS is 4 and he had a half day of school. His bus ride home takes about 40 minutes so I was expecting him home around 11:40 to 11:45. He did not return home. I thought the bus could have been delayed but finally at 12:15 I was really starting to worry. I called the bus company and they radioed the driver who said she'd bring my son home in 5 minutes.

He was the only child on the bus by that time and when the driver dropped him off and even though he had his regular aide and bus driver that morning, he did have a substitute bus driver and aide for the ride home.

I asked the bus driver what happened and she said that she called out my son's name (and there are two Jack's on the bus) and he didn't answer so she assumed he was not on the bus and she didn't drive down our street

Did I mention my son is 4 years old. The burden should not be on him to listen for his name to be called to get dropped off at his home. I asked him why he didn't answer the bus driver and he said he didn't hear her say his name. If the driver would have followed her route she would have seen me waiting outside for him and he would have got off the bus.

I guess what makes me mad is nobody said they were sorry. The bus driver and aide blamed my son for not answering to his name. When I called the bus company to complain they told me that these things happen and that what's important is that he's safe. I agree his safety is the most important, but still. I feel that this is an unacceptable mistake to make. I have lost faith that these people can competently transport my child and from now on I will drive him to and from school.

I mean what would have happened had I not called the school. Would he have been left at a bus terminal or driven to god knows where? That's a scary thought to me.

I would not be mad at the bus driver for not driving her route if my child didn't answer her when she called. With gas being so expensive, I see no problem with taking a short cut, but that's just me.

Around here, preschoolers do not ride a bus to and from school, but K students are required to sit in the front row, right behind the driver, so she can keep an eye on them. If you do decide to let him ride the bus again, maybe instruct your son to do that.

Also, around here, K students will not be let off the bus without a parent or guardian there to walk them home. If a parent is not there, the child is brought back to school and someone on the staff calls the parent. The child waits in the office until a parent arrives.

 

[XYSRUS]

I would not be mad. This has happened to all my kids at one time or another. They get distracted, fall asleep, whatever, and miss their stop. The bus driver does have to complete their route and then drop off the kid (s) who miss their stop. Happens all the time...plus they have to sweep the bus at night and I'm sure you would have called before then. Chalk it up, make note, and move on.

 

[Sheree Bobbins]

I can imagine how frantic you would have been. I would pursue this with the authorities to prevent it from happening again to you or to someone else. I've no experience in this area but the previous poster points out some good policy. 4 is too little to be responsible for answering the driver.

 

[smb6]

I'm sure I would have been upset in the moment.... I mean you had 30 minutes worth of fear, anxiety, worst possible scenario built up in your mind when he finally made it home.... Then that turns to anger because your on such an emotion high.... It might take me a little while, but by the end of the day- I would not be upset, stuff happens- he was fine and this will probably not be your last "scare"......

If your that worried about him on the bus, then driving him may be a good idea.... I don't allow my middle schoolers to ride the bus out of fear of influences and lack of supervision.... And I only allow my elementary kids to ride in the afternoons- in the mornings I have irrational fears that if they bus didn't make it to school I would not know about it till that afternoon when they didn't come home- wierd, I know- but if you don't like the bus system, don't use it..... But honestly, this does not sound that bad to me.....

 

[tiggersbombed2]

I'd be mad, extremely mad. It's not up to a 4 year to answer a bus driver. The bus driver has a printed out route they are to follow EVERY DAY not pick and choose what street they are driving today. I would call the Dept. of Transportation and speak to the Director. That's how kids get left on buses in subzero/extremely high temperatures and die. Exactly what were they planning on doing with him when they got back to the bus yard?

They screwed up and you should call them on it. You may be saving some other child injury.

 

[jenrose66]

Around here, preschoolers do not ride a bus to and from school, but K students are required to sit in the front row, right behind the driver, so she can keep an eye on them. If you do decide to let him ride the bus again, maybe instruct your son to do that.

Also, around here, K students will not be let off the bus without a parent or guardian there to walk them home. If a parent is not there, the child is brought back to school and someone on the staff calls the parent. The child waits in the office until a parent arrives.

My son's bus is only for preschool kids there are about 40 kids on the bus. They are picked up in front of the house. An aide meets them at the stairs and places them in their seats and buckles them in.

When they are dropped off in the afternoon it's the same thing as you stated. The parent must be outside waiting for the child. The aide takes him off the bus and I meet them at the stairs. It is supposedly my schools procedure to return a student to school if the parent isn't there waiting at home, however, they didn't even think my son was on the bus. I just wonder if they broke protocol by not even bothering to drive by my house if they would have even bothered to check the bus...for all I know they may have just left him there in the bus garage. I mean obviously it wouldn't have been for long because I would have been calling everyone imaginable asking where my son was.

Also my son does have extreme shyness and some sensory issues. He has trouble focusing, especially in noisy situations...he'll tend to kind of daydream, so I don't doubt he didn't hear his name. He's probably in his own world every day when he takes the bus home. He does have OT therapy 4 times a week to work on this. It doesn't affect his life terribly but in this situation he does. Maybe that makes this my fault and my son isn't cut out for a regular school bus.

 

[kaytieeldr]

Well, stop and think. It's a substitute driver and substitute aide, you said, right? So they don't know you. Even if they see an adult standing at what should be the bus stop, they couldn't be expected to recognize you, right? Combine that with no response when the driver called out the name of the (only?) child scheduled to get off the bus at that stop, and it's not unreasonable to think there's no reason for the bus to stop there.

You didn't have a sign saying "Jack's Mom". No, you shouldn't be expected to have such a sign. But an adult standing, even at a bus stop, when no child volunteers or appears ready or wanting to exit the bus makes it understandable that a driver who doesn't recognize the adult wouldn't stop there.

eta: okay, I see now, the driver didn't even go by your house. Mad? No. Concerned? Sure. I'd be making sure the bus ran the entire route every day - not relying on the riders' responses.

 

[MiniGirl]

My son's bus is only for preschool kids there are about 40 kids on the bus. They are picked up in front of the house. An aide meets them at the stairs and places them in their seats and buckles them in.

When they are dropped off in the afternoon it's the same thing as you stated. The parent must be outside waiting for the child. The aide takes him off the bus and I meet them at the stairs. It is supposedly my schools procedure to return a student to school if the parent isn't there waiting at home, however, they didn't even think my son was on the bus. I just wonder if they broke protocol by not even bothering to drive by my house if they would have even bothered to check the bus...for all I know they may have just left him there in the bus garage. I mean obviously it wouldn't have been for long because I would have been calling everyone imaginable asking where my son was.

Also my son does have extreme shyness and some sensory issues. He has trouble focusing, especially in noisy situations...he'll tend to kind of daydream, so I don't doubt he didn't hear his name. He's probably in his own world every day when he takes the bus home. He does have OT therapy 4 times a week to work on this. It doesn't affect his life terribly but in this situation he does. Maybe that makes this my fault and my son isn't cut out for a regular school bus.

This is one thing I love about the DIS. I enjoy hearing how things are done in different places, and I now understand about how my suggestion to have him sit directly behind the driver wouldn't work. Are they assigned seats? Maybe he could be switched to a seat closer or something. I don't know. I'm just trying to offer suggestions.

I know it was a frightening thing for you to go through though.

 

[Hannathy]

I would not be mad at the bus driver for not driving her route if my child didn't answer her when she called. With gas being so expensive, I see no problem with taking a short cut, but that's just me.

Me to.
With gas being what it is why should they run the whole route if kids aren't there?

I think it is a good idea if they can cut out some stops great. Your child was safe and when she had made the last stop and saw a child still on they would have brought him back.

I would work on having him answering when he is asked things for the future.

I don't see pulling him off the bus, and don't see the big deal either, things like this will happen for the next 13 or so years.

 

[jenrose66]

This is one thing I love about the DIS. I enjoy hearing how things are done in different places, and I now understand about how my suggestion to have him sit directly behind the driver wouldn't work. Are they assigned seats? Maybe he could be switched to a seat closer or something. I don't know. I'm just trying to offer suggestions.

I know it was a frightening thing for you to go through though.

That's fine. I understand and I wasn't mad and didn't take offense to what you said I was just clarifying cause I think it helps the post.

I don't think the kids have assigned seats per se...but my DS is usually seated at front of the bus by his usual aide. It would probably be helpful if the kids had assigned seats all the time. Maybe I'll bring that up when I talk to our schools transportation office on Monday.

 

[Luv Bunnies]

The special ed preschoolers in my class have the option to ride the bus to and from school each day. We usually have the same driver, but sometimes he's assigned to a field trip (we're a K-8 public school district) and another driver does his route. The list of kids who are actually on the bus can change from day to day due to illness, appointments, missing the bus, parents transporting that day for whatever reason, etc. The driver has to know exactly who is on the bus and where the kids need to be dropped off. Some get home-to-school transfer and others are picked up and returned to other district schools. Plus, there are three preschool classes with kids on the same bus.

Our regular driver knows all the kids and where they get dropped off. The other drivers don't have it all committed to memory. They carry a clipboard on the bus with the names, pick up/drop off locations and schedules for each child. The aides don't ride the bus but we help the kids board. When I put my students on the bus with a substitute driver, I say, "This is Paul. He gets taken to his house. This is Kyle. He gets dropped at XXX School. This is Caylee, she gets dropped at XXX School." As the kids board, the driver checks their names off on the clipboard. If a child was picked up by a parent that day, we'll tell the driver so he can make a note of it. After my kids are boarded, the aide from the next class steps up and boards her kids. We would never just toss the kids on the bus with a substitute driver without making sure he/she knows who each child is and where they need to be dropped.

I don't understand why your driver wouldn't have a list of who is on the bus and instead rely on a child answering to his name. If there are that many kids, perhaps the aide should walk the aisle with a roll sheet and visually identify each child who is on the bus. I don't think I would pull my child from the bus after one incident, but I would definitely talk to the school, let them know what happened, and ask if a new procedure can be put in place so it doesn't happen again.

 

[kimmyann]

Maybe it is the school's fault, not the driver? As a school bus driver myself I know for a fact that the school can be at fault esp with a sub driver who does not know the children or the route. Granted, the route should always be followed regardless. Usually with the little guys the regular driver has a route sheet with each child's name attached to each stop. (they do here & that's with the kindergarten) Just try to keep in mind (I know it's hard) that your child is probably going to be with someone who works for the school at all times, whether he/she is still at the school or on the bus, he should be okay and able to be found. I personally refuse to take preschool routes, just because they are the ones that fall asleep, heck even the kindergartner's do sometimes. Everyday it is repeated "WALK THE BUS AFTER EACH & EVERY RUN", for this reason. ( I have four schools A.M & P.M)

Just thank God it's not like when we were kids. Atleast now they have radios for communication now.

 

[kirstenb1]

Our dd is in special ed preschool and has ridden a bus for 2 1/2 years. Communication is a large part of the reason she's in the class in the first place. I think she'd answer if her name were called, but if it were a stranger, I am not sure.

I like Luv Bunnies's idea about the clipboard. We've never had the driver and aide absent on the same day. If this happens again, another idea is for either the classroom teacher or the driver to have laminated "nametags" ready, just to string around the child's neck, so if there is a child with limited verbalization, there's a backup plan.

 

[jenrose66]

If this happens again, another idea is for either the classroom teacher or the driver to have laminated "nametags" ready, just to string around the child's neck, so if there is a child with limited verbalization, there's a backup plan.

Funny you should mention the nametags. All the preschoolers do have laminated name tags attached to their bookbags that never come off. That is another reason why this was distressing to me. He had his bookbag today...just like every other day...and his name tag with his address and teacher information was visible on the bookbag.

 

[MomRN]

I also have a 4 year old that rides a bus to and from preschool. I can't guarentee my ds would hear or answer to his name being called either. That's the purpose of the aide on the bus, to account for the students on the bus.

I know how this procedure works because I was scared to death to let him ride the bus at first (starting at 3 yrs old). There are procedures in place that start at the classroom (the school has 7 classrooms with as many buses leaving). The teachers divide the students up into groups and take them to their bus. They are checked off from a list when they enter. Anyone who has a ride home or was absent is removed from the list for the day.

Then they go into assigned seats that have their names above the seats.

When they are brought home they are checked off from the list again.

 

[kirstenb1]

Funny you should mention the nametags. All the preschoolers do have laminated name tags attached to their bookbags that never come off. That is another reason why this was distressing to me. He had his bookbag today...just like every other day...and his name tag with his address and teacher information was visible on the bookbag.

Okay, so either the bus driver and aide weren't informed of this, or they ignored it. Either way, I'd call and ask that this information is relayed every time. Maybe someone forgot in the chaos that is the end of the school day. I know I'd be getting nervous if dd's bus was running significantly late, like this.

 

[SpecialK]

I'd let the school know what happened. The reason the aide is on the bus is to supervise the children and make sure everyone is dismissed correctly. If she/he was unaware of that, some retraining is called for.

 

[luvmyfam444]

I'd like to know how mad this would make you.

DS is 4 and he had a half day of school. His bus ride home takes about 40 minutes so I was expecting him home around 11:40 to 11:45. He did not return home. I thought the bus could have been delayed but finally at 12:15 I was really starting to worry. I called the bus company and they radioed the driver who said she'd bring my son home in 5 minutes.

He was the only child on the bus by that time and when the driver dropped him off and even though he had his regular aide and bus driver that morning, he did have a substitute bus driver and aide for the ride home.

I asked the bus driver what happened and she said that she called out my son's name (and there are two Jack's on the bus) and he didn't answer so she assumed he was not on the bus and she didn't drive down our street

Did I mention my son is 4 years old. The burden should not be on him to listen for his name to be called to get dropped off at his home. I asked him why he didn't answer the bus driver and he said he didn't hear her say his name. If the driver would have followed her route she would have seen me waiting outside for him and he would have got off the bus.

I guess what makes me mad is nobody said they were sorry. The bus driver and aide blamed my son for not answering to his name. When I called the bus company to complain they told me that these things happen and that what's important is that he's safe. I agree his safety is the most important, but still. I feel that this is an unacceptable mistake to make. I have lost faith that these people can competently transport my child and from now on I will drive him to and from school.

I mean what would have happened had I not called the school. Would he have been left at a bus terminal or driven to god knows where? That's a scary thought to me.

yes, I would have been worried sick - but couldn't completely be mad @ them if your child didn't speak up

Just curious - a bus company transports your kids? I can't imagine putting my 4yo on a bus by themselves. (not judging you) I just couldn't do it - I'd be a nervous wreck!

 

[MaryAnnDVC]

With gas being so expensive, I see no problem with taking a short cut, but that's just me.

It's not up to the bus driver to save gas for her employer. How much gas could be saved by not going down this road, on this one day? If the bus driver was a sub and didn't know the kids...and these are LITTLE kids, who we all seem to agree get sleepy, get distracted, etc...it makes more sense to follow the route to avoid the very situation that occurred. And how much gas was used to bring with the child back, from further away?

Not following the route is something of a pet peeve of mine. My "block" is 3 1/2 miles. When my 2nd DD was in kindergarten (15 years ago), there was one other child on our block in afternoon K so there was a "little" bus late morning to pick them up for school. The bus driver and the monitor wanted me and the other mother to call the bus company if our child wasn't going to be on the bus so they wouldn't have to drive the route if BOTH weren't taking the bus. Which, I could kind of understand I suppose even tho it was annoying to have to make another call, esp to a company that was difficult to get through to sometimes. BUT...there were times when I'd be out shopping or doing errands with my DD in the morning, and by the time we got back and had lunch, I wouldn't have her ready in time for the bus. And they'd still have to drive the route anyway, except on the off chance that the other child was out the same day. My child was almost never sick; the other child...don't know. Maybe he was and it was now MY problem if we weren't back in time for the bus? For an idea of how often DD wasn't on the bus, I'm guessing it averaged once every 2 or 3 weeks. Whatever. I caught some grief one day from the monitor about my DD not being on the bus the previous day, and my not calling to tell them. That particular day, we had gotten home in plenty of time to catch the bus, but as we pulled in the driveway DD started crying and I turned around to see that she had a bloody nose, blood on her, her clothes...ugh. I dealt with that, gave her lunch, and took her to school. So getting snarled at the next day by the bus monitor for not calling if my child was going to be absent irked me, and I let her know what the situation usually was...last minute. That night when I told DH, he said "It's their job to drive the route" and I agree.