Problem with a fraternity brother

[WDWAurora]

Ok, for some background info...Yes, I'm a female, but I'm a brother in the coed national honors fraternity, Phi Sigma Pi. This fraternity is very active, and is based upon a tripod of scholarship, leadership (service), and fellowship. I have developed extremely close bonds with the majority of my brothers.

Last Tuesday night, I was at an event sponsored by Habitat for Humanity here on campus, Shack-a-thon. Campus organizations build a shack on the "brickyard" and live in them for a week. While I was sitting out there, one of my brothers who went inactive for the semester (citing family problems when he asked for the time off) announced to our shack, as well as about 15 other campus groups that he lied to the brotherhood, and his real reason for asking for inactivity was because of how cliquish the fraternity is, and how much he dislikes it. He went on to reveal to a few initiates (not yet brothers) and a new brother some events that had occurred in debate. Debate is meant to be kept completely secret, and I just really felt like he broke a lot of trust by telling these people. Also note that I'm the "nice one" and people generally feel more comfortable ranting to me because I refuse to get angry back to them.

Ok, so that's not all, but that's the general idea. It probably doesn't sound all that bad, but it's really upsetting me, because now we're having to bring him up on charges of conduct unbecoming of a brother, and after a debate and a vote, he stands a good chance of getting expelled from the fraternity. It's just hard, because I don't want to be mean, but I know this has to be done for the betterment of the group. We have to be very careful with the handling of this situation, as it has not occurred in a long time, and we (the executive board, pres, vp, sec, treasurer, etc) could wind up looking stupid if we screw up.

Thanks for letting me rant, and reading this if you got this far.

Anyone with experience in this kind of situation?

 

[minniecarousel]

It doesn't sound like he still wants to belong, so expelling him is probably what he expects - and deserves.

 

[JAP]

Speaking as someone who has belonged to a Sorority while in college and many organizations after, every group has a certain amount of "cliqishness" about it.

Follow the guidlines of your Fraternity is important. However, has anyone talked to this "brother" about his behavior and if it has truly harmed the organization? If harm has come to your organization I can see the need for "expelltion". But if this brother did this in front of Fraternity members only then I believe he should be given the chance to step away quietly.

 

[caitycaity]

as a former sorority member, i agree with JAP.

in the process of expelling him you could inadvertantly bring your group unwanted negative attention. it could impact recruitment in the future.