Princess Phoebe's Pre-WISH-Trip Report (arriving in MK 4/17/10)

[TinkerbelleMom]

Melissa,

My oldest has curls too, though different than Tessa's, but still tight ringlets, so I feel your pain! There's a website and book called Curly girls, and it helped us with different info, even categorizing the different types of curly girls. There were even recipes for making your own organic hair products. Do you have a hair academy near you? I know the one here does braids of all types, and since it's done by students, the price is reasonable.

 

[myasma]

This is a picture of Mya at 9 months old. She has the individuals in with the ponytail holder. As you can see I wasn't the best when I first started but as you keep doing, it will get better.

This is a pic of Mya's individuals. Sorry but the pics are small.

 

[Momofwishkid]

Shardai, I love the pics of Mya. Soo cute!

 

[yinyanggirls]

I am a bit misty (surprise). I am SO appreciative of public servants-even when they give me tickets-I say "thank you". Thank your DH for us!

LOL, you are a rarity, that's for sure!

I understand the calling thing-my grandfather, 2 uncles, SIL and dad were all pastors. I did many other things before I stopped fooling myself and realized what my true calling was.

I'm glad you realized your calling. I think that's what makes people great at what they do - doing what they love. I have always loved photography, but fortunately have not had to survive off of the income. When Tessa is in school I hope to renew some knowledge with a class or two in digital, then get my business up and running again.

Individual braids are exactly like that without the pony tail holders. You just part the hair in little boxes then plait. I will try to find a picture of DD before she lost her hair. The pic when Tessa was 14 months was great. My DD started out like that. As the hair gets longer it gets more manageable. Also, I usually use an old pair of DD's thick cotton stockings for a night cap. My mom used to use one for me and my sisters when we were younger. It stays on through the night easier then a scarf will for younger kids and works great. I will post a pic of that as well when I come in from school.

I had tried a handkerchief before but it came off in minutes. Tonight I tried a nylon stocking but she was too busy playing with it. I might sneak in after she's out and put it back on. I also read that a satin pillowcase will help, so more shopping to do....

I don't think you have to worry about knockoffs of Sea bands. I've actually used a couple different kinds and they do the same thing. They work because they hit certain pressure points so as long as you position them right they should be fine. I have seen them at walgreens, walmart, CVS etc.

Okay, cool. I have groceries to get tomorrow and I'll make sure to pick one up. I wonder if they have different sizes?

As for braids, the little plait type aren't too difficult just time consuming. I have a freind who swears corn rows are eaisier when you learn how but I've never tried them. I had both daughters hair braided in the Carribean and the sand stuck in both for like a week but it was worse in Tessa's. Jenna had the little braids all around her face and Tessa had hers in half corn rows. The top was braided and the back fell down straight. Tessa just wanted the experience because we were in the Carribean, but I fell in love with the idea of having Jennas hair braided all the time. She has a really sensitive head and I have to fight her constantly just to get her to brush her hair at all and if she doesn't it looks all matted. It's also usually hanging in her face. For some reason it was less of a fight to have her sit still while they braided it than it is just to have her brush it and pull it out of her face every day. She says it's because she knows it will last for two or three weeks and she won't have to do anything with it until then. Whatever works I geuss! If your thinking of Savannah have you checked out the possibility of Tybee island for a day trip. We were planning a trip to Savannah but had to cancel it and I wanted to check out Tybee island because of the beaches are supposed to be more laidback and quiet and you are supposed to be able to see alot of wildlife particuraly sea turtles, but I don't know if your going at the right time for that. They also have Dolphin Tours that I thought looked interesting. Here's a link http://tybeeisland.com/.

I was the same way as a kid. I have fine, curly hair that used to get really tangled so I hated combing it out. Smart little cookie, there, sitting still for the braiding.

Can I just say....

I love the DIS!

Only on the DIS can you find someone that will help you with hair!

My friends just don't get it. "Why would you spend hours on a website about DISNEY every day?!?!?!"...

And this is why! Because it isn't about Disney - it is about LIFE!

Ok...carry on.

You're so funny Mary. But it IS awesome.

Melissa,

My oldest has curls too, though different than Tessa's, but still tight ringlets, so I feel your pain! There's a website and book called Curly girls, and it helped us with different info, even categorizing the different types of curly girls. There were even recipes for making your own organic hair products. Do you have a hair academy near you? I know the one here does braids of all types, and since it's done by students, the price is reasonable.

Thanks for the link Nanci. I glanced at it this afternoon and it looks like it has lots of good info. I have thought about making our own stuff from the raw oils and butters but I keep putting it off and end up needing to order stuff NOW. One of these days I'll try it.

This is a picture of Mya at 9 months old. She has the individuals in with the ponytail holder. As you can see I wasn't the best when I first started but as you keep doing, it will get better.

Jennifer's right, those are adorable! I always save photos when I see them of all the really cool designs but I have yet to try anything ambitious or find someone else who can. How long do her braids stay in? If Tessa's will stay for at least several days it might be worth it to try and do them in phases. The website Nanci shared said that keeping hair braided helps protect it and it will grow. I would have thought otherwise, I guess because of the pulling on the hair, but then once it's done, no more pulling. I'm willing to try!

 

[myasma]

Jennifer's right, those are adorable! I always save photos when I see them of all the really cool designs but I have yet to try anything ambitious or find someone else who can. How long do her braids stay in? If Tessa's will stay for at least several days it might be worth it to try and do them in phases. The website Nanci shared said that keeping hair braided helps protect it and it will grow. I would have thought otherwise, I guess because of the pulling on the hair, but then once it's done, no more pulling. I'm willing to try!


That is right. Keeping Tessa's hair braided will strengthen it and help it to grow. Just make sure the edges are not braided too tight or it will cause some breakage. I meant to put up the pic of mya's scarf on but that will have to wait till tommorrow. Once Tessa gets used to wearing a scarf , she should leave it alone. Mya is used to seeing me wear scarves so was eager to have her own when she became old enough. A silk pillow will also work but not as good as the scarf. When properly wrapped braided hair can last from 1 - 2 weeks. When/If you braid Tessa's hair, do it after you wash her hair then put a little moisturizer in it but nothing else. It is better to do it when the hair is wet and a little tangly. (Does that make sense?) You can always practice before you go on your trip and post the pics. I wish I lived closer so I could be of more help but I know once you start you will find it easier. The challenge is more daunting then the task.

 

[myasma]

I found a couple more examples of box braids/individuals on the internet. I also found a good website for managing curly hair.

http://www.adoptn.org/hair.html

 

[yinyanggirls]

If it will last a week or two, it would definitely be worth it to spend a day working on it, 10-15 mins at a time. Maybe, like Kay's daughter, Tessa will realize how much hassle it will save us both and be willing to sit for it. That's part of my problem with not having the strength to do much, she gets so bored. I sit her on the counter and let her play with the bows and barrettes, water, lotions, whatever keeps her busy, but she moves so much I'm often starting over. I think lowering my expectations to only getting a couple of small braids done in each sitting would help.
When she was a baby I found a Yahoo group http://groups.yahoo.com/group/adoptionhair_skincare/
that was formed by transracial adoptive families to help educate them on their children's hair. That is where I learned about what ingredients are bad in products and got a lot of ideas for styles. Unfortunately, her hair has really been so slow to grow, it's only now that I think most of the styles would work. When she was born her hair was straight and we thought she was Native American. (Birthmom didn't know who dad was) Around 6 mos old her hair fell out and grew back curly. Very curly. So we kinda narrowed down the possible dna. Then when she was a toddler she used to pull her hair out in fistfuls. In the carseat or the crib, anytime she was bored or mad she'd yank out a bunch just to see my reaction. It didn't take very many times before I concealed my reaction so she would stop. But it took a toll on the little bit of hair she had. (I can so relate to Pamela's reaction to Olivia's cutting her hair!) Anyway, I have tons of photos of cute styles, maybe too many, but I've been afraid to try it myself. One of the styles I love they call piggy-back braids. Oh! I just remembered another style I attempted for my SILs wedding.(editing to say, it's the same style on another day. This time I left more of the back undone - probably due to time!) It was still just piggies because her hair was too short to braid, but at least I attempted something!

Yes, that is my darling daughter playing in the mud in her flower girl dress at the wedding.
Alright, well. I'm feeling encouraged to try a few things. I'll have to PM you and get your email in case I have problems!

 

[myasma]

Don't hesitate to pm me about any questions you have. It should be alot easier now that Tessa's hair is long enough to grip up. Remember that her hair is longer than it seems, it is just coiled up tightly. You will be surprised when you do her hair for the first time how long her hair really is. Try small parts when you part her hair because it will hide uneven parts and look into getting a rat tail comb and use the pointy end to part. much easier that way, the link is here to show you what it looks like. I used to sit my daughter in front of the T.V when I did her hair and have toys readily availabe. Wait untill after bathtime to start. That way Tessa will be winding down and less likely to fight. You can do a little each night then wrap her hair up. It may also be good to let Tessa run around for 10 to 15 minutes then come back to it. Finally get into the habit of doing Tessa's hair once a week even if you are only touching up the front and edges. You can let the back sometimes go for another week.

 

[dawnbu40]

Just have to say I love the pic of Tessa all dressed up and playing in the dirt It so reminds me of Caitlin at that age! I have a preschool picture of her dressed as Princess Jasmine,for Halloween, wearing a firefighter's helmet and playing with trucks

 

[yinyanggirls]

Don't hesitate to pm me about any questions you have. It should be alot easier now that Tessa's hair is long enough to grip up. Remember that her hair is longer than it seems, it is just coiled up tightly. You will be surprised when you do her hair for the first time how long her hair really is. Try small parts when you part her hair because it will hide uneven parts and look into getting a rat tail comb and use the pointy end to part. much easier that way, the link is here to show you what it looks like. I used to sit my daughter in front of the T.V when I did her hair and have toys readily availabe. Wait untill after bathtime to start. That way Tessa will be winding down and less likely to fight. You can do a little each night then wrap her hair up. It may also be good to let Tessa run around for 10 to 15 minutes then come back to it. Finally get into the habit of doing Tessa's hair once a week even if you are only touching up the front and edges. You can let the back sometimes go for another week.

I have combed it out in front of the tv (just chasing her down!) but I should try setting up a favorite movie or show and try it then. I do have a rat tail comb and tons of elastics so I I'm good there. She didn't keep the stocking on last night, when she crawled into our bed at 2am but I'll keep trying. Thanks for your help.

Just have to say I love the pic of Tessa all dressed up and playing in the dirt It so reminds me of Caitlin at that age! I have a preschool picture of her dressed as Princess Jasmine,for Halloween, wearing a firefighter's helmet and playing with trucks

I love the juxtaposition of both the girly and tomboy elements. When I was looking for the wedding pic, I found a bunch from that day that were cracking me up. Tessa's head under the tablecloth of the head table, exploring. Running up and down the hallways. I ended up taking her down the street to a friend's house for the last hour or two of the reception. She was a busy body! (Still is)

So, I surprised myself when I noticed a small detail that I had forgotten in those pics. Anyone see something special about Tessa's hands in those pics?

 

[TokyoDina]

I have to add my 50 cents in here. Tessa hair looks just like mine! Actually, I'm mixed so who knows what side took over. Anyways I personal do not get my hair braided because I don't like the style on me and sometimes it rips out my hair because of how tight some people braid. But! I have heard of a place in town that does ethnic hair. It's called Exclusive Touch and it's on Wilmot and 22nd. I heard at that salon they do everything from just regular hair cuts to weaves.

You could also try combing out Tessa's hair while it is soaking wet to prevent the tangles. I don't actually brush my hair...I only use a smoothing brush on it. I use a comb all the time to make sure I get the product in my hair. I try to let it run free a lot since this crazy Tucson weather likes to dry out my hair A LOT. I also go all the way to the Tucson Mall to the Sephora there and buy this product call Carol's Daughter Hair Milk. It's great! My hair stays moisturizer all day! And it's not oily like regular hair oil. They also have Shampoo and Conditioner that is really really really light.

If you are ever thinking of straighting her hair you could use this product called Kenra. It does a great job. I've seen it at Sephora as well and I've seen it at my salon on base. You can get both products online at the Sephora store too.

I know it's a pain to manage Tessa's hair trust me! My mom didn't know what to do with mine for the longest and just threw a relaxer in it. Which made my hair fall out in chunks. I finally took control of it in 7th grade.

If her hair is really like mine she only needs a light moisturizer that is applied everyday before she goes out. It should help keep her hair soft.

 

[Tnkrbelle565]

Better late the never!!! I'm subbing!

 

[myasma]

I have to add my 50 cents in here. Tessa hair looks just like mine! Actually, I'm mixed so who knows what side took over. Anyways I personal do not get my hair braided because I don't like the style on me and sometimes it rips out my hair because of how tight some people braid. But! I have heard of a place in town that does ethnic hair. It's called Exclusive Touch and it's on Wilmot and 22nd. I heard at that salon they do everything from just regular hair cuts to weaves.

You could also try combing out Tessa's hair while it is soaking wet to prevent the tangles. I don't actually brush my hair...I only use a smoothing brush on it. I use a comb all the time to make sure I get the product in my hair. I try to let it run free a lot since this crazy Tucson weather likes to dry out my hair A LOT. I also go all the way to the Tucson Mall to the Sephora there and buy this product call Carol's Daughter Hair Milk. It's great! My hair stays moisturizer all day! And it's not oily like regular hair oil. They also have Shampoo and Conditioner that is really really really light.

If you are ever thinking of straighting her hair you could use this product called Kenra. It does a great job. I've seen it at Sephora as well and I've seen it at my salon on base. You can get both products online at the Sephora store too.

I know it's a pain to manage Tessa's hair trust me! My mom didn't know what to do with mine for the longest and just threw a relaxer in it. Which made my hair fall out in chunks. I finally took control of it in 7th grade.

If her hair is really like mine she only needs a light moisturizer that is applied everyday before she goes out. It should help keep her hair soft.

Just a side note and then I am done with the hair thing. Corn Rows or hair plaited to the scalp does run a risk of pulling your front edges out if you do them to tightly. Individuals done in a box braid style does not take the hair out. Also you should never put in perms or straighten a child's hair. It can cause thier hair to fall out from sensitivity and when the new growth comes in, the hair will be fragile and break off at the roots unless you keep it up by continously retouching it.

 

[tricia]

So, I surprised myself when I noticed a small detail that I had forgotten in those pics. Anyone see something special about Tessa's hands in those pics?

They look like my little brothers feet. She can count higher than the rest of the kids right?

 

[yinyanggirls]

They look like my little brothers feet. She can count higher than the rest of the kids right?

Ding, ding, ding! We have a winner! Tricia gets a "high six"! (Groan)

The wedding photos took me by surprise for a sec because now that she's had them removed, I sometimes forget she ever had extra fingers! Tessa was born with polydactyly, or extra digits. She had six on one hand, seven on the other (the seventh was tiny and no bone so it was removed in infancy), and on one foot a sixth toe that was webbed with number four and five. I joke that she probably wasn't sitting still in the fingers and toes line in heaven, and the angel just had to throw a bunch at her and hope they stuck.

Apparently polydactyly is a fairly common genetic trait, more so in certain races. It's just not common to see that feature in the US because it's often removed in childhood. So she may have a bio grandparent or someday a child born with the same thing. We thought it was pretty cool when she was placed with us (the social worker did mention it beforehand, so I guess some people might have not thought it was so cool). The docs immediately suggested removal, for "social reasons", and the Scottish Rite hospital in Dallas even offered to do it for free. We couldn't decide because they were so well formed they looked quite normal. In the two years she had them, only a couple of people noticed on their own. Even neighbors and friends who saw her regularly wouldn't notice until I mentioned a doc appt or something about it. One hand she had some use of the 6th finger and on the other hand not so much. Her toe was the bigger concern for me because of having shoes fit. A girl's gotta have cute shoes! (j/k sorta)

I guess the biggest concern overall was whether or not she would wish we had it done once she got older. I'm telling you, I bawled the night before her surgery because I was afraid we were doing the wrong thing. But she is a fighter and had no problem with the surgery (the only day of her life where she was still!) and the soft casts she wore for a month after didn't slow her down one bit. After all of the medical stuff we've had to do for Phoebe I was surprised it was so hard for me, but I guess with Phoebe it's always been stuff we "had to" do. I hate having the responsibility on my shoulders for stuff that is optional and that my kids might have made a different choice if they were old enough to understand. As more time goes by I tend to forget about it, and I'm certain she doesn't remember because she never noticed anything different in the first place. She remember having casts and going to the doctor.

So just for fun, here is a favorite of mine (the girls just look so mischievous don't they?).

 

[tricia]

My little brother has 6 toes on one foot, and some webbing on both of his feet. He has never had it removed, as the bones go all the way up, and it is pretty easy to buy boys shoes in a wide. (much easier than buying gloves with extra fingers I would think)

So, of course my brother is a comedian, and has always taken pride in showing off his extra toe, and even making bets with others as a teenager as to its existence. He now says that one of these days he is going to have surgery to remove it and go back and bet all of those guys that he has a normal amount of toes. Thinks he will make a fortune.

 

[that's nice]

Jacking your thread for a minute!

She is so cute! I read your update today on caring bridge. It sounds like she is going good. When I don't see an update, I always figure no news is good news!

Y

My DW would of had a fit if Juliana did this! It is too cute though.. great pics!

In the pictures before her fingers were removed, they look very normal. I doubt I would have even noticed if you didn't say anything.

I can't help you with hair either... I'M A GUY!!!!

 

[yinyanggirls]

I have to add my 50 cents in here. Tessa hair looks just like mine! Actually, I'm mixed so who knows what side took over. Anyways I personal do not get my hair braided because I don't like the style on me and sometimes it rips out my hair because of how tight some people braid. But! I have heard of a place in town that does ethnic hair. It's called Exclusive Touch and it's on Wilmot and 22nd. I heard at that salon they do everything from just regular hair cuts to weaves.

Thank you for passing along that salon Dina! I will definitely call them and ask what they offer.

You could also try combing out Tessa's hair while it is soaking wet to prevent the tangles. I don't actually brush my hair...I only use a smoothing brush on it. I use a comb all the time to make sure I get the product in my hair. I try to let it run free a lot since this crazy Tucson weather likes to dry out my hair A LOT. I also go all the way to the Tucson Mall to the Sephora there and buy this product call Carol's Daughter Hair Milk. It's great! My hair stays moisturizer all day! And it's not oily like regular hair oil. They also have Shampoo and Conditioner that is really really really light.

I always comb it when wet, either after a bath, or that's when we spray in the hair milk. Never brush. I have heard good things about Carol's Daughter products. It's on my list to try. I hadn't thought to check Sephora for hair stuff. Thank you so much for mentioning them! Now I need to schedule a mall day....

If you are ever thinking of straighting her hair you could use this product called Kenra. It does a great job. I've seen it at Sephora as well and I've seen it at my salon on base. You can get both products online at the Sephora store too.

In about 8 years I'll ask you for tips on straightening. I LOVE Tessa's curls, and don't want to get rid of them, ever. But when she hits Jr high I have a feeling she will want whatever I don't!

I know it's a pain to manage Tessa's hair trust me! Um, maybe extra work, but not a pain. And totally worth it to show off to the world how gorgeous she is. My mom didn't know what to do with mine for the longest and just threw a relaxer in it. Which made my hair fall out in chunks. I finally took control of it in 7th grade.

I think the info is more accessible now, like the yahoo group I mentioned earlier, or the book Shardai referenced. Also, companies are pressured to make healthier products. I probably would've ruined it if we were doing this 20 years ago.

If her hair is really like mine she only needs a light moisturizer that is applied everyday before she goes out. It should help keep her hair soft.

We use the hair milk (or protective mist bodifier, when I'm stocked up on Taaliah Waajid) every day, sometimes twice if she naps or if we are going out and need to get it back to non-playtime condition. Rarely use shampoo, but use a deep conditioner in the tub every week, sometimes more. I have also bought oils, but don't use them as often because they seem to work best on dry hair and I'm always wetting hers with the hair milk, so... Thanks so much for the tips. I knew alot about what NOT to do, but felt stuck not having access to salons and beauty supply places to get the good stuff and styles going. I'm ready to move forward now.

Just a side note and then I am done with the hair thing. Corn Rows or hair plaited to the scalp does run a risk of pulling your front edges out if you do them to tightly. Individuals done in a box braid style does not take the hair out. Also you should never put in perms or straighten a child's hair. It can cause thier hair to fall out from sensitivity and when the new growth comes in, the hair will be fragile and break off at the roots unless you keep it up by continously retouching it.

Makes sense. I'll ask the salon about what types they do and what they recommend for kids. If I do it myself it's not going to be corn rows, fur sure.

Better late the never!!! I'm subbing!

Welcome!!! I hope you like chit chat, 'cause this PTR is full of it. :rotfl:

 

[yinyanggirls]

My little brother has 6 toes on one foot, and some webbing on both of his feet. He has never had it removed, as the bones go all the way up, and it is pretty easy to buy boys shoes in a wide. (much easier than buying gloves with extra fingers I would think)

Yes, we were okay with baby and toddler shoes but they were getting tighter the older she got. And, thank goodness they make mittens for little kids.

So, of course my brother is a comedian, and has always taken pride in showing off his extra toe, and even making bets with others as a teenager as to its existence. He now says that one of these days he is going to have surgery to remove it and go back and bet all of those guys that he has a normal amount of toes. Thinks he will make a fortune.

He sounds a bit like my husband. He lost half his pinkie when he was in scouts and tells people all these wild tales of how it happened, like losing a superbowl bet, picking his teeth during airplane turbulence...when he tells them the truth, that a fellow boy scout chopped it off with a hatchet they don't believe him. Needless to say, I'm a little relieved I don't have boys!

Jacking your thread for a minute! My thread is always open to hijacking! Maybe I have Stockholm syndrome?

My DW would of had a fit if Juliana did this! It is too cute though.. great pics!

Honestly, I don't even try to stop her anymore. I don't want to be that mom that is yelling ALL the time! I think she was done being in pictures and the dress was washable so who cares right?

In the pictures before her fingers were removed, they look very normal. I doubt I would have even noticed if you didn't say anything.

I can't help you with hair either... I'M A GUY!!!!

My DH has no idea what to with her. I made a list of products and what they're far, the websites I buy them from etc just in case I'm not around to help him. I don't want all my hard work to be for nothing!


Tessa wants to say hi to everybody and share some smilies with you....

 

[syncsk8mom]

Melissa,

I just want to say that I am so excited for you guys to be not only going on a MAW trip, but also being part of the BIg Give!!! You're girls are just beautiful and I am so looking forward to being a part of your experiance!!

Also, I was just so excited when I read that you are involved with adoption and have experiance both personally and professionally. My heart has been called for some time by God to adopt and that calling has been so strong lately. My husband and I would like to get the ball rolling, but have been so intimidated by the processes, who to call etc that we don't know were to start. Would it be ok if I PMed you with my questions??

Thanks in advance and I am so so excited for you and your family.

PS I see that you are going to be cruising the coast...might I suggest that you stop over in Coco Beach, FL....check out NASA I think both of your girls would be interested and the beach there is so lovely!