Preventing WWIII..? Family Issues...

[threecrazykids]

People REALLY get upset about when others have a baby . There were 4 grandkids born on DH's side within 9 months and it is GREAT. Then there was another little mini-explosion a few years later . Those kids have a BLAST at family get togethers, etc.

I would have to start making comments like "well, _____ needs to grow up sooner or later and figure out that the world doesn't revolve around her"

This is more along the lines of what I was going to suggest too. Turn it around on them so THEY look like the fools. When she freaks out when you announce your pregnancy I'd first give her a shocked look, then I'd look her dead in the eye and smile and say "Wow...I guess I was hoping you'd be thrilled like we are-that they would be close in age and grow to be good friends, but (throw this one out there for her to chew on) EVERYONE was right in telling me this is exactly how immature you'd react!"

 

[DisneyBamaFan]

First - for your husband's sake, I hope it takes a while.

My wife and I faced a similar situation when we were expecting our first child. We thought that it would take a while, but she became pregnant almost immediately after we started trying. The problem - her sister's wedding.

So, my wife was about 4 months along when we flew down for the wedding. My wife was showing, but only a little bit - it was far from obvious. The give-away was the fact that she wasn't drinking (we were both partiers until our children came along).

We had decided not to tell anyone for at least a month after her wedding, but too many people noticed the little things and asked while we were together at the wedding. We kept dodging the questions. So, the day after the wedding her sister asked us directly (when we were alone). We told her the truth, and she was very, very happy for us. She insisted that we announce it then and there, so everyone could share our joy.

When people love one another, happiness is shared. Her joy was not diminished by ours, it was expanded. If this person will only get upset at your happiness, it may be time to remove them from your life.

 

[I loveStitchnippyjon]

If you indeed get pregnant right away, and if the relatives go ballistic, don't let it upset you! It's really THEIR problem that they over-react!
Maybe just smile, shrug, and say "these things happen!" and then walk away. Don't worry so much about making other people happy, concentrate on you and DH!

 

[disneybound2010]

First off, congratulations on your decision(or little one that is already on the way ) It's a big decision to make and only YOU and DH know if youa re ready to make that jump. The decision should not be left up to what others might think or how they are going to react. It is YOUR family and only you and DH have the right to decide for yourselves.

DH and I found out quite unexpectedly that we were expecting. I was over the moon ecstatic and called my Dsis to tell her the news. Turns out, she was trying to call me with the SAME news. We found out the same day(around the same time) and then found out we were DUE the same day! At first, it was all excitement that we were pregnant together, but that wore off quickly when she turned it into a competition and everything was about her and how I had ruined it for her because she wanted to have all the attention I just had to make the decision not to engage. I was just as excited for her as myself and let it be known, without falling into the trap. Our boys are now 4(1 week apart) and she still tries to turn everything between them into a competition. I take the teflon route. It just isn't worth it to argue over something that should bring great joy.

P.S We both ended up telling our families immediately(both on the SAME day,coincidentally) and it is something I will never regret. My DMom passed away two weeks after we found out. Thankfully, for us, we didn't worry about the "first trimester rule."

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

They are irrational. Once you stop being so concerned about how they will be offenses by your very-very-personal-having-absolutely-nothing-to-do-with-them decisions, the much better off you will be. It is only an act of war if you participate. Since no actual arsenal will be used in your exchanges, there is no war. Play it up. Live it up. Send a dancing clown to announce your pregnancy when it occurs. Be (politely) obnoxious. But please stop worrying how they will feel. Their input in this matter means nothing.

 

[Debbie Jean]

First, anyone who thinks that you create your own drama never married into it! I so totally get that

Isn't there a program "I didn't know I was pregnant"? I suggest you buy a bunch of mu mus and just tell everyone you've put on a few pounds... you'll still have to deal with the crazies when the lil one is born, but you can at least have a blessedly peaceful pregnancy

Congratulations on your decision... and btw, I went off bc and was pregnant within 2 months... it happens!

 

[Handbag Lady]

I say if this is a good time for you to start trying for a baby then start trying for a baby. You can't not live your life becasue she wants to be center of the world

And don't forget to tell them to go pound sand. That's the best part.

 

[Disney Doll]

This is more along the lines of what I was going to suggest too. Turn it around on them so THEY look like the fools. When she freaks out when you announce your pregnancy I'd first give her a shocked look, then I'd look her dead in the eye and smile and say "Wow...I guess I was hoping you'd be thrilled like we are-that they would be close in age and grow to be good friends, but (throw this one out there for her to chew on) EVERYONE was right in telling me this is exactly how immature you'd react!"

I like this one!

 

[UKdisneytwinmummy]

Do what me cousin did at my wedding and insist you are NOT pregnant however much you are showing My cousin had her daughter 2 months later, not that it did or would have bothered me, she was 18 and genuinely didn't know she was pregnant but I thought it might confuse your relatives!

 

[si-am]

Just makin' conversation here! I'm well aware it's currently a non-issue. Just a discussion!

And FYI, none of you actually KNOW if I am pregnant or not... who tells people in the first months???

Because in your OP you said you would start trying NEXT month?

 

[MinnieMe87]

This is more along the lines of what I was going to suggest too. Turn it around on them so THEY look like the fools. When she freaks out when you announce your pregnancy I'd first give her a shocked look, then I'd look her dead in the eye and smile and say "Wow...I guess I was hoping you'd be thrilled like we are-that they would be close in age and grow to be good friends, but (throw this one out there for her to chew on) EVERYONE was right in telling me this is exactly how immature you'd react!"

I love this! What a great comeback to say.