PrettyInTink's Keepin' me honest journal!

[PrettyInTink]

Hello! I'm Cyndi, and I'm a foodaholic. Actually, I'm an everything-a-holic. I have a very addictive personality, unfortunately. I am about 100lbs overweight and am starting this journal to keep myself honest.

A little Background...........

I developed early, was very uncomfortable with that, and ate to mask my changing body. As I got older, tables turned and I liked the attention ao I became OBSESSED with skinny. I am 5'9" and VERY large boned and once got down to a scary 121lbs. Ugh, not pretty. I lost weight by binging, then purging, smoking WAY too many cigarettes, starving myself, phen phen, you name it- I tried it. I had a nasty eating disorder that consumed my high school years. I was in every pageant that came around and I always felt if I could be skinnier I would do better. I was right. I won quite a few. After high school I found a certain white powdery substance that "everyone" was using to keep weight off. What an idiot I was, but thats the crowd I ran with. And now, after quitting smoking 6 yrs ago, along with everything else, I am over 100lbs overweight. I'm not one of those people to say "woe is me, how did I get here?" I know EXACTLY how i got here. I just told you, in a nutshell. I'm not fat because of this medical problem, or that. I'm fat because I eat too much, and move too little. I have been on every crash/fad/crap diet on the planet and nothing works except the old eat less/move more plan. And thats what I'm here to do.

Starting weight: 265lbs

Current Mood: Hopeful and happy

Goal weight: 157 (weight when I graduated high school)

Want to lose weight because: Health of course, but also to look good in a swim suit. I go on disney cruises all the time and am ashamed of how I look in a swimsuit. I also never want to shop in the fat stores again. I know my body, and when I reach 180lbs, I'm out of the fat stores.

I also want to renew my vows with my dh at WDW. I was a fatso when we were married. Not again.


So here goes, come help keep me honest!

Breakfast: Bolthouse farms carrot/apple juice, special k red berries cereal w/vanilla soy milk

Lunch: Kashi crackers w/roasted garlic hummus and crunchy peanut butter (not mixed, some with 1 some with other)

Snack: Organic juice

Dinner: a can of annie's organics bernie-o's (think spagetti-o's, except better for ya, yep, I eat like I'm 5yrs old sometimes)

Now I am drinking a soy chai from starbucks. YUMMY!

I walked around the rest area today with my dog and dh. Did fail t mention that I'm a truck driver and sit on my butt for 10 hrs a day? Kind of tough to exercise, but I try.

Day 1, DOWN!

 

[PrettyInTink]

Ok so, add to today that I ate 5 multigrain tostitos before I realized I was eating out of boredom and not actual hunger. Oy. I need to get a grip on that. Food comforts me though. It makes me feel good. So much so that I seem to eat mindlessly. Not tomorrow. Glad I stopped at 5. Now I know.

 

[C_leen]

Hi Cyndi-

Welcome to the journals. Just think - you know what your issues are and you know what you need to work on. That in itself is half of the battle! Good luck!

 

[PrettyInTink]

Thx for the response. Yep, I'm not really one of those in denial of why I am here. I'm just taking it day by day and trying not to beat myself up too much.


Current mood: Ya know the song Beautiful Day by U2? That's how I'm feeling right now. Just don't want to let it get away.

Breakfast: SpecialK Redberries with vanilla soy milk YUMMY

Lunch: 1 serving multigrain tostitos with salsa, Kashi crackers and peanut butter

Eating dinner at my DMIL's tonight. I WILL watch my portions and listen to my body when it says full.

 

[PrettyInTink]

Oh, almost forgot. I dance in my seat while driving for a straight hour. Broke a sweat and busted a move all at once. Luckily I'm way up here in a semi so no one could really see me. Brickhouse came on and I was on FIRE!

 

[PrettyInTink]

Ok, its been a few very hectic days. We were in Idaho visiting my DMIL.
I ate OK, I did have a small piece of cake. I didn't eat anything fried or with cream sauce so that's good.

Today has been

Breakfast- Special K redberries w/vanilla soy milk
Snack-odwalla mango tango and annies organics cheddar bunny crackers

That's it for today so far. I'm undecided on lunch. Probley a bowl of organic pasta and tomato sauce. Not sure. I worked out on my exercise ball I got already. you wouldn't think something as simple as a big ball could make ya hurt but I'm feeling it now! I'll post more later as my meals continue for the day.

 

[PrettyInTink]

Yestday L was ww pasta
Dinner was soup and salad
snack was asian pear

Today so far-
B-strawberry banana smoothie

I'm gonna jump on my exercise ball again today. I love it! Dh even got on it yesterday. My abs are sore from yesterday. Balancing on it while dh is driving on bumpy roads must be a pretty good work out.

 

[PrettyInTink]

Ok, I had a bowl of sp K w/vanilla silk mid morning
For snack I had apple slices with peanut butter and a small handful of annies organic cheese bunny crackers.

My official lunch was Amys Kitchen frozen dinner that was GREAT! It was the black bean enchilada with rice and beans. My dh (who is on the atkins diet, go figure) was drooling over the smell alone. It was totally vegan too. I kind of fell into following a kind of vegatarian diet by accident. I previously did atkins and got SICK of meat. Compile that with watching the movie Fast Food Nation and watching the Meet your Meat video on www.peta.org and I just can't stomach meat right now. I don't know how long this will last, but I find it really easy to not eat meat. Plus, without eating meat I can consume more food (meat has a ton of calories and fat). I have already given up dairy pretty much. I feel better. Dare I say a bit lighter! Haven't weighed yet so I am not sure how much I have lost.
I am just trying to stay focused on my big vacation coming up in September at WDW and on DCL. Last september when I cruised I weighed 250. When I started eating better a few days ago I weighed 265. I have a LONG way to go. Baby steps.
Current mood song: Roll On Eighteen wheeler cuz that's what I'm doing!

 

[PrettyInTink]

Dinner: Annies organic spagetti-o like things, kashi crackers with roasted garlic hummus

YUMMO!

Exercised on the Ball again. Also did sit ups and leg lifts on the exercise mat. Walked with dh and pup around rest area

 

[PrettyInTink]

Today: Breakfast
sp k red berries w/vanilla silk
snack 8oz organic smoothie, box of organic raisons
Lunch Pnt Butter and apple sandwich on whole wheat, handful org cheddar crackers, another small box raisons

Doing well today, a little Blah as I pass by the millionth fast food sign. I will not stop. I will eat healthy and be strong. I want cuter, smaller clothes.

 

[PrettyInTink]

*crickets chirping*

Ok, been doing good still, had a little coconut shrimp yesterday. Other than that doing ok. Haven't had a lot of time to post these past few days. BusyBusy. I'm talking to myself anyway, so what does it matter? Exercised on the ball again. Love it! I look like a complete nut on it but whatever.

 

[C_leen]

Hi Tink-

Looks like you are eating pretty well! Those exercise balls look so innocent & fun, but they can be little devils. Keep up the jammin' & movin'.

Colleen

 

[PrettyInTink]

Thanks Colleen! I LOVE my exercise ball! $10 has never been so fun! Thanks for the comment. I have been trying to eat well, it is hard sometimes but I am doing pretty good so far. I am listening to my body when it says FULL.