1. Her life. I'm having an ugly Christmas tree this year, just for the flippin cat.
2. Two live mice. Set her and them loose in the garage. Merry Christmas.
...I just don't know where to buy mice. There's no "live mice" section at Macy's - I checked.
I got:
Twelve rampages daily

Eleven dead animals picked up

Ten hours of worry
Nine headbuts each morning
Eight minutes screaming
Seven foods she won't eat
Six Benadryl doses
Five Flippin Kittens!!
Four trips to vets

Three hundred wasted dollars
Two bad litter boxes

and
One murdered parakeet pet