Preparing DS 7 for surgery

[Chelley00]

Our youngest DS 7 is going in for an umbillical hernia surgery, most likely next week (we have to wait for the hospital scheduler, but they were certain it would be next week)

We told DS today we were going to see a doctor just to have his belly button looked at and that it might need to be fixed. He asked a ton of questions on the way there (we call him Mr Information because he likes lots of details!), which I started all my answers "well, we don't know if it needs to be fixed, but if it does" and then tried to answer his questions the best I could. When the surgeon said yes, it needed to be fixed he burst into tears.

He's had surgery once, for tubes and adenoids, but he was just almost 2 and doesn't remember it all. His dad has had several hernia operations, but they've all been very involved with lots of recovery time and we know DS's will be much simpler.

What can I do to help him be more comfortable while waiting for surgery, the day of and for his recovery? Any ideas for books, videos etc? What should we take with us to keep him comfortable and calm before his surgery? This is the first child surgery we've had to prep for (oldest DS had an emergency appedenctomy at age 9, other than that, we are surgery-less...knock on wood)

 

[grafxgirl]

My son turned 5 in September. When he was 7 months old he had the umbilical hernia repair and undescended testicle surgery. When he was 14 months old he had tubes and adenoids surgery. This passed year he had his tonsils removed. He asked a lot of questions too, so the surgeon at the hospital sent him home with a kid friendly DVD made by the hospital staff and herself to explain what was going to happen from the time he entered the doors to the time he left. She also said he could bring whatever he wanted into the hospital with him. He took his WVU fleece blanket (his blankie), his favorite Matchbox car, and his stuffed kitty cat. She even allowed him to take those items into the surgical room until they put him under, and he had them in the recovery room before he even woke up. I think having the DVD and those items of comfort were a great help.

 

[disneylandkitkat]

I had heart surgery at age 6. Activity books were good before and after surgery. Also my mom got a wagon to take me on wagon rides something good for when the kids are playing and he cant play.

 

[Pakey]

My son had to go in for surgery and overnight hospital stay when he was 5. The hospital we went to had an orientation for children. We took him for that 2 days before his surgery and the staff took him to various places in the hospital, showed him the rooms, explained things, etc. It was a huge help.

 

[java]

That's when my now 9 year old had his same surgery. It was first thing in the morning. Outpatient. He was only 6 and wanted to know what it would mean. I told him they would give him medicine so he would go to sleep and when he woke up the surgery would be over.

He went in pretty calm I think knowing what to expect. It all happens very quickly. Once he gets the anesthesia it's pretty quick to surgery. My hospital let me be in the recovery with him in my lap so that when he woke he was in my arms. They warned me he could wake up upset but he didn't. He was snuggly.

His little friends had given him a stuffed dog that he brought with him. The hospital staff gave him scrubs, a mask ect. while my son was asleep. He thought that was funny.

The hardest part was keeping him from running around. He wanted to play soccer that afternoon. It was a smooth simple recovery and I hope the same for you.

 

[pilesoflaundry]

When my dd was 5 she had her tonsils and adenoids out and she was not really too nervous until we got to the hospital. Then she got nervous. She was able to take her favorite stuffed animal back with her, ask if he can have a comfort item with him (if he has one) or maybe his own blanket.

Her surgery was outpatient so I don't know much about what to do if he has to stay over.

She is closer to dh than me so I had him be the one to go back with her when they put her under. It made her more comfortable. I was there when they gave her versed though. That was a trip.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I would probably not talk about the actual surgery too much until the day of. When he does ask questions try and be aloof with a quick answer and not dwell too much. Be more reassuring that things are going to be fine and mommy and daddy are going to be there to protect him. That sort of stuff.

I know that goes against what you think you should do but less info is better in this situation, it just builds up too much anxiety. What appears to be "interest" is really fear.

After the surgery is over is when you can go into the details of what was done.

With my kids I buy them a special toy that they can bring to the hospital for comfort. Stuffed animals or toys that they can do imaginative play with are good. Like 2 stuffed animals or 2 robot like toys.

I even buy stuff for the older kids. When my 20yo dd had her femoral artery surgery last summer we got her "kitties".

My youngest had dental surgery 2 yrs ago and she has severe medical anxiety so we tend to go the route she gets to pick something out after she is done. She weighs her discomfort level to the thing she gets. Yep, she passed out in in the chair before her surgery. I forget what we got her after that.

 

[minkydog]

Does your hospital offer any sort of class for children to get them ready for surgery? My oldest son had to have his chest wall repaired with he was 5. It was a very invasive surgery and we were all upset about it. I'm a nurse and believe me, it did NOT help. But the hospital had a wonderful class arranged where the kids could pretend to be the doctors. They let them handle some of the equipment(electronic thermometer, blood pressure cuff, etc.) They even let them give shots to some dolls! The nurses were so patient answering all the kids' questions. DS loved this little class and when the surgery date rolled around, he was ready.

Young children have a lot of fears. They don't really worry about things like anesthesia and pain--they accept that if they go to sleep they will also wake up, and that if they hurt someone will give them some medicine. Probably the biggest fear is the fear of mutilation. Most kids couldn't articulate that, but it is a very real fear for them. That's why they get soooo upset when they get a cut and see a little blood. Their little brains say "OMG, all my blood is leaking out!" rather than, "Oh look, i scratched my arm."

My brother had extensive 3rd degree burns when he was about 4. He underwent many, many surgeries to repair the damage. The only time he got really upset was when they decided to take some skin frm his lower abdomen to apply to his head (skin graft) where he hair was burned off. Brother was hysterical~ Turns out he thought they were going to put his belly button on his head! I know that sounds crazy but to a kid it's not crazy.

Good luck. The hardest part is trying to control your own emotions. Your son will take his cues from you. If he sees that you are still in control, he will believe that everything will be okay. Fake it til you make it.

 

[laurie31]

Go to YouTube and search "prepare child for surgery" and you will get lots of educational videos made by various pediatric hospitals. You could watch several and decide which one might best help answer your son's questions.

It's possible the facility where you son will be having surgery has a YouTube channel; search for their name, or add it to the above search. If they have a video, it would be good so he could see the actual places he would go.

Most hospitals allow a child to bring a "lovey" of some type to go to the OR with them, and you can bring whatever toys you want for him to play with both before and after surgery. Coloring pages, a Nintendo DS, toy cars, etc. would all be fine.

My DD brought her laptop when she had her tonsils out but she was 14. She was on Facebook as soon as she came back to the room.

Ask if your hospital has a tour for kids or a Child Life specialist who can help with pre-op questions. As Minky said, kids aren't worried about the same stuff we as parents worry about. He may fear he isn't going to have a belly button any more, or it may be that something else (some other fear) made him cry when he learned it's going to be fixed. Perhaps you could ask him what he thinks will happen or what things about surgery are scary to him? Then you will know what he needs reassurance or more information about.

I hope everything goes well!

 

[kitsch4]

You could check with your local library to see if they have any books about surgery that you could read with him so he could learn what to expect. When my daughter was about 3 or 4, I had surgery, and our librarian helped me find a book to read to my daughter so she would understand what was happening to me.

My son had tubes (3x) and his adenoids removed. At our hospital, they have a person come to waiting room where the little ones are waiting before surgery. They talk to each family individually and have the parents and child put on the masks and headwear that the child will see the surgeons and nurses wearing when they go back. It lets them become a little familiar with it so they aren't totally scared when they see the doctors.

 

[Erin1700]

When my DD gets her surgeries, she doesn't lay down in the OR to be put to sleep. One of the nurses always holds her on her lap while they do it. I think the nurse sits on the edge of the bed and DD leans back against her. My DD thinks this is the most comforting part.

 

[LoserMomma]

We're pro's at surgeries, my son has had something like 17 or 18 (honestly, I don't even remember at this point). We used to do a toy afterwards, but honestly he's now too big to carry and he's too unsteady after the surgery to let him walk into the gift shop (that was a BAD habit to get into). If you do a gift afterwards, you may want to have it pre-bought.

 

[clh2]

Request to be first in the morning. Since they can't eat or drink the morning of the surgery...this is just easiest IMHO.

And - if you hospital has a "pre-surgery" orientation for children - those are wonderful programs. They help answer a lot of little questions the parents have. When DD had her tonsils and adenoids out - my "big' question was: How long after my DD left my side before she would be "out" - and it was 1-2 minutes.

My advice to the parents - kids will feed off your behavior - so just be reassuring and calm.

good luck!

 

[krcit]

I would probably not talk about the actual surgery too much until the day of. When he does ask questions try and be aloof with a quick answer and not dwell too much. Be more reassuring that things are going to be fine and mommy and daddy are going to be there to protect him. That sort of stuff.

I know that goes against what you think you should do but less info is better in this situation, it just builds up too much anxiety. What appears to be "interest" is really fear.

After the surgery is over is when you can go into the details of what was done.

With my kids I buy them a special toy that they can bring to the hospital for comfort. Stuffed animals or toys that they can do imaginative play with are good. Like 2 stuffed animals or 2 robot like toys.

I even buy stuff for the older kids. When my 20yo dd had her femoral artery surgery last summer we got her "kitties".

My youngest had dental surgery 2 yrs ago and she has severe medical anxiety so we tend to go the route she gets to pick something out after she is done. She weighs her discomfort level to the thing she gets. Yep, she passed out in in the chair before her surgery. I forget what we got her after that.

I agree with this 100%. Especially if it is an outpatient procedure, I would keep the info to the point and simple "You have a boo0boo that the Dr will fix while you are asleep" Both of my daughters had their tonsils out at age 6 and the nurses and Drs were so wonderful with them. They each brought a special stuffed animal to the hospital with them.

 

[laurie31]

Request to be first in the morning. Since they can't eat or drink the morning of the surgery...this is just easiest IMHO.

And - if you hospital has a "pre-surgery" orientation for children - those are wonderful programs. They help answer a lot of little questions the parents have. When DD had her tonsils and adenoids out - my "big' question was: How long after my DD left my side before she would be "out" - and it was 1-2 minutes.

My advice to the parents - kids will feed off your behavior - so just be reassuring and calm.

good luck!

You can ask, but they may not be able to accomodate you. The places I know of all take kids in order of age. In other words, infants go first, then toddlers, etc. Babies are less able to tolerate going without liquids, so they wait the least amount of time. If your DS is the youngest child for that room, he will automatically be first. If he's not, then he will not be. Of course, other places may do it differently. There's no harm in asking, or in asking for an approximate time is he's not first.

I mentioned my DD was 14; she was one of the oldest. She wasn't even taken back until 11:00. The upside of this was that we didn't have to be there until 9:30, and she was able to drink until 4am. They actually suggested we wake her then and make her drink something so she wouldn't be so thirsty. I'm not sure I would want to wake a younger child, but that's something that only you as the parent would know. Would your child do better getting a drink, or would he have a hard time getting back to sleep? My DD could (and DID!) sleep through a tornado, so I wasn't worried about her going right back to sleep. I wouldn't want to wake a child in the middle of the night if she wouldn't be able to fall back asleep easily, though.

Another idea is to bring something for you and DH to eat or drink after your DS is taken back. Food and drink was strictly prohibited in the surgery waiting area, because none of the kids could have anything and it would be cruel for people to sit there eating and drinking in front of them. However, it was fine to have food once you were back in a room and the child was gone to the OR. It's likely there is a refreshment area with coffee and sodas you can access, too.

 

[Chelley00]

Thanks everyone. I'm so sorry for those of you who have kids who have to have multiple surgeries. No baby should have to go through it so often.

They've scheduled DS for Friday the 13th I'm so not supersticious and it made me laugh when the nurse said "Oh my, that's Friday the 13th, do you want to do it another day?

The schedule works out so well as DS has that day off for teacher record day and Monday off for MLK Day. That will lessen the days he misses of school, which he was not happy about missing school! If only he will always feel that way They are a hospital that goes by age, so I'm sure he'll be later since he's 7. They will call 2 days before to give us the time.

The hospital only does surgery tours for patients who will be admitted overnight after surgery. They offered to send us a DVD, but I declined because the surgeon said at his visit that the DVD was made in 1988 and very boring DS#2 had an endoscopy there a couple of years ago, and I remember they came around with wagons full of books, games, toys etc while we were waiting to go back, so I'm pretty sure they will do the same again.

I've opted to get him a new game for his DS. He just got it for Christmas and got a couple of games for it, but I thought maybe something he hasn't played yet will hold his attention. He also has blanket and dinosaur we'll take with us. I'll also load my Iphone with some new apps. He loves to play with my phone.

Thanks for the tips on taking food. I have food allergies so it's not easy for me to just eat on the fly, so I'll be sure and pack for me.

 

[grafxgirl]

He went in pretty calm I think knowing what to expect. It all happens very quickly. Once he gets the anesthesia it's pretty quick to surgery. My hospital let me be in the recovery with him in my lap so that when he woke he was in my arms. They warned me he could wake up upset but he didn't. He was snuggly.

Mine was still asleep when they called us back to the recovery room. I was surprised, then the nurse said "He was so cranky when he woke up that we just knocked him back out for a bit." When he did come around again he was just irritable, yet bearable.

 

[LoserMomma]

Something else you may not think of with a 7 year old...take extra undies and pants and maybe bring a towel. They hydrate the kids a lot and then the kids don't have the best bladder control because of the anesthesia. My son has an accident pretty much every surgery. I even get a urinal immediately post op now and have it in the bed with him and ready to go (and then I help him "aim" into the urinal....sorry if that's TMI) because he really can't handle walking or eye hand coordination for a while.

Also be ready for him to be evil or funny after the procedure. I've had my son hit me after surgery (he was only 20 months old, it didn't hurt), I've had him argue with the nurses (he swore that if OLD people could steer wheelchairs, he should be able to steer his own wheelchair!) he also thought that his tongue fell out the last time when they gave him a red popsicle after his last procedure. We, of course, just laugh. It's ok....he doesn't remember any of it.

Someone else talked about keeping them still afterwards. That is very challenging. Consider having a couple of movies ready to go at home. They don't realize how uncoordinated they are and it's dangerous for them to just go right back to running around the house.

 

[Erin1700]

It seems every other year my DD gets sick from the anesthesia. My guess is she grows enough to be given a bigger dose and it is too strong? Anyway, ask if there is anything they can do to try to keep him from feeling sick. My DD gets Zofran prior to them putting her under. Still only works every other year. On a good note, this year should be our good year!

 

[Chelley00]

DS's surgery was today. Everything went really well. He was pretty sick in recovery but a couple of doses of Zofran helped. He's currently watching a movie and eating his requested frozen yogurt.

I have to say the Childrens Hospital was amazing and they had him so calm and had given him so much information and fun stuff that he walked back to surgery without a backward glance. We were joking that when anyone asked his name he should say Your Highness, and the nurse caught on to it and had the entire OR calling him "Your Royal Highness".

He's pretty sore, but very active so keeping him still the next couple of days should be interesting

Thanks for all your tips and advice.