Pregnant & neurotic thread.

[cavecricket]

Thanks for this thread.

I am a basketcase with this pregnancy.

This is my 1st and I had some issues early on.

I had some light spotting one morning, went to the Dr and he scared the crap out of me, sent me for an ultrasound where I was told I was 5weeks1day. Noted implantation bleeding and the u/s tech went on to tell me about the 50/50 chance ...

No more spotting until the following weds...right down to the minute...very light spot. Did not spot again until the next monday...had another u/s thurs that week (7 weeks 1 day) was told there was still blood in the uterus and was now determined to be an SCH (Sub Chorionic Hematoma) ... that was the last time I bled to date. I went in for another u/s that would have put me at 11weeks but the baby measured at 12weeks1day which made me very happy!

Was told the SCH was still there but has gotten smaller with each ultrasound.
My baby measured at 5.29cm CRL and the SCH was less then half the size of the baby which greatly pleased mr Dr.

Our first heartbeat at 7weeks was 139....at 12weeks was 169. I now have a doppler at home that I use regularly to listen to my baby.

I have another ultrasound scheduled for next Thursday. They are going to attempt a gender scan with some toilet shots. My gut says girl....nubsessors predict girl as well, so we shall see!

-Jenn

 

[KiKi Mouse]

YAY for dopplers!

Mrs. Charming, see, there is another person who has had some spotting and all is well. There are lots of good news stories out there!

 

[phragmipedium]

Count me in as well. I was feeling pretty positive, but a coworker of mine was pregnant also and about a month ahead of me. Everything that was happening to her, I started feeling soon. She had no negative indications, but at her 20 week ultrasound they discovered there was something wrong with the baby and...all I know is that she lost the baby, so I'm not sure exactly what was wrong or what happened because she's requested we all just act normally around her. I'm assuming it was something very serious and they elected to terminate. Anyway, now I'm terrified that even though I feel the baby moving and everything seems perfectly fine, there's something wrong. My big ultrasound/anatomy scan is Jan 14th and I'm pretty anxious for it. The only other thing that's been making me nervous is that I haven't really felt like much has changed in the last couple weeks...I don't feel like my tummy's grown too much, but the baby has been more active and I've been feeling it more strongly than before also. I'm so ready for that ultrasound but I wonder what's going to keep me sane after that.

I have anxiety to begin with, so I've been findng lots to worry about. My current worry is our dogs and when I go into labor...there are a couple of very nice dog boarding places between here and the hospital (45 minutes from here) but they have specific drop-off hours. I'm concerned I'll go into labor at 8 pm after they close and then will have to figure something out logistically until they open again at 6 am. They will do after hours drop off, but if it's prearranged. Although DH and I were both not interested when my doctor mentioned they will (if we want) induce at 39 weeks if everything looks okay, the stress over making sure my dogs are properly cared for makes a scheduled induction sound pretty nice! But then again, my DH teaches and his last day of work is June 9...my due date is June 10th. I'd be happy for the baby to stay put until then...maybe they'll schedule an induction on my due date if the baby's still cooking.

I can cry at the drop of a hat right now. Thankfully, my DH is very understanding and very excited for this baby and he's been a very supportive partner.

 

[KiKi Mouse]

This week has been a rollercoaster. On Monday I found out I have gestational diabetes. *cue tears*
I saw the diabetes doctor/nurse/nutritionist yesterday and I have to go back on Monday and they are probably putting me on insulin. *cue more tears*
The nurse told me that diabetics are often induced. *cue full out bawling*
So a home birth is out the window. Not sure where this leaves my midwife as she will have to refer me to an OB. I haven't seen an OB since 1998 and I am terrified. I am terrified of being in the hospital and having a stranger deliver my baby and being alone there. I am sick with the thought of having to share a room with somebody if there are no private rooms left. Last time I had to do that in 1998 it was horrible. The other mother was having some issues and I didn't get any rest. I also couldn't stand going into the bathroom where she had dripped blood all over.
It's not fair. I have done everything right and yet again my body has decided it isn't going to do what it needs to do.
That's my pity party for today.

 

[Robinrs]

I could've been since my first child died 3 days after his birth.

It took me 7 years to become pregnant again and I fought the "what ifs" the whole time. All the way till labor when it was determined my baby had the SAME problem as my first child.

My faith kept me intact, this time I knew he would be okay and I kept ONLY that positive thought constantly. I HAD to.

Well, he turned 17 Monday, I think all those vibes worked!

Hang in there. Concentrate on GOOD. I know it's hard, but it's what makes it happen!

 

[Mrs. Charming]

This week has been a rollercoaster. On Monday I found out I have gestational diabetes. *cue tears*
I saw the diabetes doctor/nurse/nutritionist yesterday and I have to go back on Monday and they are probably putting me on insulin. *cue more tears*
The nurse told me that diabetics are often induced. *cue full out bawling*
So a home birth is out the window. Not sure where this leaves my midwife as she will have to refer me to an OB. I haven't seen an OB since 1998 and I am terrified. I am terrified of being in the hospital and having a stranger deliver my baby and being alone there. I am sick with the thought of having to share a room with somebody if there are no private rooms left. Last time I had to do that in 1998 it was horrible. The other mother was having some issues and I didn't get any rest. I also couldn't stand going into the bathroom where she had dripped blood all over.
It's not fair. I have done everything right and yet again my body has decided it isn't going to do what it needs to do.
That's my pity party for today.

Oh gosh, I can totally relate. I wanted a waterbirth in my midwives' nice little office with these homey little suites. Instead, I got a placenta previa that bled repeatedly, and landed me in the hospital three times. Because my previa never resolved itself, I not only had to have a c-section... I got an emergency c-section. By an OB that was an absolute witch. Fun.
Can you set up interview appts with the local OB's? I know, that's a LOT of work, but maybe they'll speak to you over the phone.

BIG HUGS... you can do this.

 

[Mrs. Charming]

Ok, I can not wait for the day where every twinge and pain makes me NOT think I'm going to miscarry. Seriously, this is driving me NUTS!!

 

[KiKi Mouse]

Ok, I can not wait for the day where every twinge and pain makes me NOT think I'm going to miscarry. Seriously, this is driving me NUTS!!

Well if it makes you feel better...I am still having nightmares about spotting and I live in fear of going to the bathroom. I don't think it makes you feel any better...LOL But you are not alone!

 

[ORMom2Four]

Add me to the list. I can't even get through a Dr. appointment without crying when they ask me how I'm doing emotionally (just lost Jaren 7 months ago)......and then they suggest counseling.......lol

 

[KiKi Mouse]

Add me to the list. I can't even get through a Dr. appointment without crying when they ask me how I'm doing emotionally (just lost Jaren 7 months ago)......and then they suggest counseling.......lol

Counselling for what? Grief? Like hello! It's been seven months and you are pregnant again. How the heck do they think you are going to be doing? As long as you aren't going through clinical depression it is something that is going to take its sweet time. What do they expect?

I cry a lot too at appts. does that mean I need to go too? These are scarring emotional events in our lives. Grief, crying, etc. are normal.

Congratulations on your new pregnancy and very sorry about your son.

 

[Ciciwoowoo]

Kiki, I've got GD right now too. I am 34 weeks I believe (Goodness, can't believe my brain can't figure it out today!) and still on pills, but my sugar keeps creeping up and up and up. Its not fair because I am following that stupid diet. I miss chocolate!!! It is worth it though, I know. I might be there with you on insulin soon.

We aren't failures if we have to do this, though. Its just what was meant to happen and so we have to accept it. You're doing a great job, I'm sure!!!

 

[KiKi Mouse]

Cicowoowoo,

How long did you fast for before your test?

I fasted for 8 hours and up until the 8 hour mark I was stuffing my face with Christmas chocolate at work. I can't remember what all I ate at work but I know it wasn't great. I was off work that morning at 0230 and went home and was up at 0730.
I am thinking maybe I should be retested in case my numbers were off due to the Lindt chocolate etc. Darn Christmas!

 

[locolala]

I was told that my depression and anxiety are normal for someone who's pregnant. I've been dealing with this stuff since I saw my best friend blown up in the truck in front of me. I don't just need counselling, I need some frigging meds to shut my brain up on occasion.

My mom chewed me out the other day for wanting to take antidepressants, saying it would be bad for the baby. Well, me being this depressed and borderline wanting to selfinjure.. that's pretty bad for the baby too.

 

[KiKi Mouse]

You mother is not a doctor. I believe there are meds you can take that are safe. I read Brooke Shields book and I think she took something when she was pregnant with her second. Is there a medical professional you can see that is going to be compassionate and help you with meds if you feel you are ready for that?

 

[locolala]

Yeah, I have a great doc who's willing to put me on meds. I have an appointment next week to get started. I've been on and off them for awhile now, so I know what works for me and that what I take (Celexa) is safe during pregnancy. I can't wait to get started, lol.

 

[KiKi Mouse]

I have been having such a crappy week. Dug this up today to remind me of the good things in life

http://www.babysites.com/sites/melnyk/default.asp?page=myjournal&seq=1&cmd=prev&story=01/26/2007

 

[Alphabetsoup]

Yesterday...it was aches in the belly and fearing I had a hernia.

Today, it is drinking like a fish (lots of water...no caffiene) and not seeming to pee all that much. And my right kidney is aching as if it is being overworked. So now I'm afraid something is wrong with my kidney...*sigh* and my first doctor's appointment isn't until Wednesday. How am I going to survive the next 4 days?!

 

[Mrs. Charming]

Ugh... I can NOT wait until Thursday when I have my 6 week u/s. I want to know this baby is OK, and that I'm not losign it. I feel like I need constant reassurance. Every day I have myself freaking out that Im' feeling "less" pregnant every day. My pregnancy with DD was very rough-- I was vomiting constantly, and with my m/c, I had no symptoms at all. At this point, this pregnancy seems to be on the "easy" side, and I am *freaked out*.

I keep getting this little "flippy" feeling every so often down there. It's like I feel a little flip or a flick from the inside, similar to a very weak baby kick (which I know it isnt.) and I'm constantly worrying that its another missed miscarriage. Gah!! At this point, I can't tell if it's a gut feeling or just overwhelming worry that I'll lose this baby... GAH!!!


ORMom2Four-- I"m so sorry for your loss, but congrats on your pregnancy

Kiki-- maybe it's worth a shot to get retested!

locolala-- I totally agree, take something that is safe... your emotional wellbeing is worth it.

Alphabetsoup- I don't know how I'm going to get through the next 4 days, either!!

 

[KiKi Mouse]

Dh is coming with me tomorrow to my appt. with the diabetes clinic to insist on retesting. My overnight numbers are always so good.

Last night DH brought up our recumbant bike so I could exercise. He went to a hockey game and I got on the bike. After two minutes the pain was so bad and it didn't stop. I thought I was going to the hospital. So now the bike is going back to the basement and the eliptical will come up. I guess my baby didn't like getting kneed in the head and bounced around. It took about 30 min for the pain etc. to go away.

 

[ferrytale]

Boy am I glad for this thread! Lol...I will be 15 weeks tomorrow, and I don't think there has been one day that has been "normal" for me since finding out I was pregnant! It took almost 2 years of TTC for this one(will be our 2nd), and doctor was getting ready for me to consult with a fertility specialist, when I got a BFP! Cue all of the fears - we tried for so long, I don't want anything to happen now! Plus several family members have had pregnancy issued since we started trying that now I am more scared than I was with DS. One miscarried at just a few weeks, one had a severe neural tube defect and had to terminate, and one who is due in April found her baby has a cyst on his brain - good news is that it appears to be minor and very common and should go away on it's own, but she has to go for extra testing every few weeks.
I think the extra fears and the hormones are driving me NUTS, which is in turn driving DH nuts (poor guy). I know I am not eat right, but I am eating what I can without getting nauseaus. I am too exhausted to "exercise" as the doc recommended, and have a ton more aches with this one but doc said it is normal. I bought a doppler on ebay which was worth the $75 for the peace of mind. Argh...just need a place to vent sometimes with others who understand. DH tries, but it's not quite the same...
Nice to meet you all - and I wish everyone happy healthy pregnancies!