My 66 year old dad was just diagnosed w/ cancer of the liver and spleen. I was just out visiting for Christmas before he was diagnosed. I'm feeling terrified about all the things I am reading about liver cancer. Please keep him in your prayers.
Prayers needed for dad w/ cancer
- Thread starter LParente
- Start date
Take lots of deep breaths, my mom was diagnosed nov 2006 with breast cancer in the liver, and in many other places now. The stress was unbelievable.
I will say the first several months after diagnosis for me were the worst. I was up and down, and all over the place. I didn't know how long mom was going to be alive, and well we still don't but I have a different outlook on life now.
At first I was stuck on the fact of all the things mom would miss. Well, now I concentrate on things mom can do, and things mom can experience now with me. Think about the present and not the future.
From my experience I can say please get a second opinion from a specialist. If liver cancer is the primary cancer, request a second opinion from a nationaly ranked hospital, even if that means driving a couple hours or further. If you don't feel comfortable w/ the onc then find another one, or if your gut is off, doesn't answer all your questions or whatever get a better doctor. You can get the second opinion somewhere else and still get that treatment at your local onc.
Make sure to get copies from your oncologists office of all the cancer markers that are important for liver cancer. (In breast cancer there are several, I'm assuming there are cancer markers, special indicators of the type in liver cancer too). Depending on the type certain chemos, or other drugs are used and more likely to work. Do your own research, find yourself a online support group. If your dad is stage 4, then look for a cancer site which is specifically for stage 4 people. The treatment options, and strategies are different.
If your dad is stage 4, then you can apply for social security for disability. I believe you don't get an actual payment for either 3-6 months after the diagnosis. To make the process go quicker, get all the records yourself from the onc office, make a copy for yourself, and then give them a copy w/ all the info to the SS people. If your dad is doing chemo, or not feeling well. They can do a phone interview, and then they send you some more stuff to fill out, and then someone else can drop it all off.
What little I know about liver cancer. Remember my moms cancer is breast cancer in the liver.
My mom's liver looks like swish cheese spread with cancer. So mom was not a candidate for several of the procedures I'll mention.
Some of these procedures limit the number and size of tumors.
Radio frequency ablation (RFA). this is a link, with some quick info, definitely not the most detailed info.
http://www.cc.nih.gov/drd/rfa/faq.html
My cousin is a resident at a hospital and mentioned something about
transarterial chemoembolization. I found a article titled.
Liver Metastases: Neoadjuvant Downsizing with Transarterial Chemoembolization before Laser-Induced Thermotherapy1
During normal chemo, generally if its stage iv, they put a port in, and administer the chemo thru the port. The above they insert the chemo directly into an artery in the heart that feeds the liver. More chemo goes to the liver directly, then some of the cancer shrinks (hopefully). Then the tumors are (hopefully) smaller or less in number. From the article, doing the chemo first improved overal suvival time.
There are also specialists that cyro (freeze) the cancer.
Do your research, bring a list of all the questions w/ you to the doctors office. You may be over whelmed and quickly forget all the information.
I goto mom's onc appointments because its kind of overwhelming for my parents. They do not take notes, and then do not remember everything that is said. On the couple of occasions I haven't gone, i had to wait for the next visit to find out exactly what was going on, things get fuzzy when the person is on lots of pain meds.
All the terms, diagnosis, medicines, chemo drugs, its a lot to get confused.
Your dad may soon be on lots of medicines. What has worked great for my mom. I created a spreadsheet. It has the name of the medicine, what time of day she takes it, how many times a day she takes it.
Then it has spaces after it with the number of times she takes it, where she writes in the time she took the medicine. There is also a column for what the drug does. This helps mom and dad. Dad didn't know what lots of the meds were for, and as things have gone on, with the amount of pain control she is on, sometimes she gets fuzzy and help is needed.
With liver cancer, your dad may be feeling nasiated when eating some foods, plus chemo can upset the entire GI tract. He may be non-symptomatic here or not.
Eating bland foods, no spices, black pepper, avoiding fatty and high fat foods can cause problems for my mom, also eliminating cittres fruits, tomatoe based foods.
Best wishes and lots of hugs.
Connie
I will say the first several months after diagnosis for me were the worst. I was up and down, and all over the place. I didn't know how long mom was going to be alive, and well we still don't but I have a different outlook on life now.
At first I was stuck on the fact of all the things mom would miss. Well, now I concentrate on things mom can do, and things mom can experience now with me. Think about the present and not the future.
From my experience I can say please get a second opinion from a specialist. If liver cancer is the primary cancer, request a second opinion from a nationaly ranked hospital, even if that means driving a couple hours or further. If you don't feel comfortable w/ the onc then find another one, or if your gut is off, doesn't answer all your questions or whatever get a better doctor. You can get the second opinion somewhere else and still get that treatment at your local onc.
Make sure to get copies from your oncologists office of all the cancer markers that are important for liver cancer. (In breast cancer there are several, I'm assuming there are cancer markers, special indicators of the type in liver cancer too). Depending on the type certain chemos, or other drugs are used and more likely to work. Do your own research, find yourself a online support group. If your dad is stage 4, then look for a cancer site which is specifically for stage 4 people. The treatment options, and strategies are different.
If your dad is stage 4, then you can apply for social security for disability. I believe you don't get an actual payment for either 3-6 months after the diagnosis. To make the process go quicker, get all the records yourself from the onc office, make a copy for yourself, and then give them a copy w/ all the info to the SS people. If your dad is doing chemo, or not feeling well. They can do a phone interview, and then they send you some more stuff to fill out, and then someone else can drop it all off.
What little I know about liver cancer. Remember my moms cancer is breast cancer in the liver.
My mom's liver looks like swish cheese spread with cancer. So mom was not a candidate for several of the procedures I'll mention.
Some of these procedures limit the number and size of tumors.
Radio frequency ablation (RFA). this is a link, with some quick info, definitely not the most detailed info.
http://www.cc.nih.gov/drd/rfa/faq.html
My cousin is a resident at a hospital and mentioned something about
transarterial chemoembolization. I found a article titled.
Liver Metastases: Neoadjuvant Downsizing with Transarterial Chemoembolization before Laser-Induced Thermotherapy1
During normal chemo, generally if its stage iv, they put a port in, and administer the chemo thru the port. The above they insert the chemo directly into an artery in the heart that feeds the liver. More chemo goes to the liver directly, then some of the cancer shrinks (hopefully). Then the tumors are (hopefully) smaller or less in number. From the article, doing the chemo first improved overal suvival time.
There are also specialists that cyro (freeze) the cancer.
Do your research, bring a list of all the questions w/ you to the doctors office. You may be over whelmed and quickly forget all the information.
I goto mom's onc appointments because its kind of overwhelming for my parents. They do not take notes, and then do not remember everything that is said. On the couple of occasions I haven't gone, i had to wait for the next visit to find out exactly what was going on, things get fuzzy when the person is on lots of pain meds.
All the terms, diagnosis, medicines, chemo drugs, its a lot to get confused.
Your dad may soon be on lots of medicines. What has worked great for my mom. I created a spreadsheet. It has the name of the medicine, what time of day she takes it, how many times a day she takes it.
Then it has spaces after it with the number of times she takes it, where she writes in the time she took the medicine. There is also a column for what the drug does. This helps mom and dad. Dad didn't know what lots of the meds were for, and as things have gone on, with the amount of pain control she is on, sometimes she gets fuzzy and help is needed.
With liver cancer, your dad may be feeling nasiated when eating some foods, plus chemo can upset the entire GI tract. He may be non-symptomatic here or not.
Eating bland foods, no spices, black pepper, avoiding fatty and high fat foods can cause problems for my mom, also eliminating cittres fruits, tomatoe based foods.
Best wishes and lots of hugs.
Connie
Thanks so much for the kind words and all of the great information. I'm at a disadvantage because I am 800 miles away, but my sister and stepsisters are close by to him. I will definitely let them know the importance of going along and taking notes. I can already tell that my stepmom is overwhelmed by the amount of information being laid on her. It appears now that we are looking at lung cancer which has spread. More tests will be done tomorrow and then more consultations. I feel slightly more level headed today and know I have to try to keep my head together to help. Again, thanks SO much.
If your sister or step sister can go and help out at the doctor's office, just taking notes would be great because when your in the office, as soon as you leave everything leaves your head. If your parents don't ask question. If someone can write them up before the appointment it helps. Before the apointment, i try to write out the questions i've been wondering, talk to my mom about what questions she has. This way, they are not forgotten.
Write down the prescriptions that need a refill. The pain killers are controlled substances, so you need a script every time to get it, no refills.
Right now, your dad is probably feeling like the human pin cusion. My mom was extremely overwhelmed and not wanted a second opinion, and was in denial for a while after the initial diagnosis. My dad was in denial a lot longer. I really had to push them to get the second opinion and glad i did. Her second opinion specialist, to me just seems more into it, and a fighting attitude.
So finding a lung cancer specialist at a major cancer center may be in your dad's future.
Some other things that may really help your dad and mom. Maybe driving them. Helping out in daily or weekly chores, weekly shopping etc. My dad hadn't done serious cleaning, laundry, grocery shopping in a long time. So when I came, I made sure they had food, and necesities that got overlooked, helped w/ cleaning and laundry.
Since your mom and dad are overwhelmed, they probably need help in lots of different areas. Letting the helpers know that doing specific tasks. Like do you have a list of groceries you want me to pick up? If they are so overwhelmed, and they know what mom and dad generally have in the fridge, have them take a look and see what is needed.
Does the grass need mowed? Are more helpful than, let me know if you need anything. I say its not the greatest because the person doesn't really know how much that person really wants to help out or what kind of time they have.
If more than one family member can pitch it, would be super helpful, and spreads stress around and not just on one indivual family member/family.
If the other family members are able to pitch in w/ time and actually being there. A sincere thank you to them, for their hard work will be sincerely appreciated. So even tho you can't be there in person. Send cheerful cards, email to your dad, mom and the care givers.
Best wishes,
Connie
Write down the prescriptions that need a refill. The pain killers are controlled substances, so you need a script every time to get it, no refills.
Right now, your dad is probably feeling like the human pin cusion. My mom was extremely overwhelmed and not wanted a second opinion, and was in denial for a while after the initial diagnosis. My dad was in denial a lot longer. I really had to push them to get the second opinion and glad i did. Her second opinion specialist, to me just seems more into it, and a fighting attitude.
So finding a lung cancer specialist at a major cancer center may be in your dad's future.
Some other things that may really help your dad and mom. Maybe driving them. Helping out in daily or weekly chores, weekly shopping etc. My dad hadn't done serious cleaning, laundry, grocery shopping in a long time. So when I came, I made sure they had food, and necesities that got overlooked, helped w/ cleaning and laundry.
Since your mom and dad are overwhelmed, they probably need help in lots of different areas. Letting the helpers know that doing specific tasks. Like do you have a list of groceries you want me to pick up? If they are so overwhelmed, and they know what mom and dad generally have in the fridge, have them take a look and see what is needed.
Does the grass need mowed? Are more helpful than, let me know if you need anything. I say its not the greatest because the person doesn't really know how much that person really wants to help out or what kind of time they have.
If more than one family member can pitch it, would be super helpful, and spreads stress around and not just on one indivual family member/family.
If the other family members are able to pitch in w/ time and actually being there. A sincere thank you to them, for their hard work will be sincerely appreciated. So even tho you can't be there in person. Send cheerful cards, email to your dad, mom and the care givers.
Best wishes,
Connie
Mackey Mouse
Me read the Navigator? I don't
- Joined
- May 21, 2000
- Messages
- 15,693
Connie has given you a lot of great information on this thread......kudos to her for knowing the ropes and spreading the news..
"If your dad is stage 4, then you can apply for social security for disability. I believe you don't get an actual payment for either 3-6 months after the diagnosis. To make the process go quicker, get all the records yourself from the onc office, make a copy for yourself, and then give them a copy w/ all the info to the SS people. If your dad is doing chemo, or not feeling well. They can do a phone interview, and then they send you some more stuff to fill out, and then someone else can drop it all off."
This is important and I am glad she gave it to you. My husband is living with pancreatic cancer, diagnosed while still working, the best advice we received was whatever you do, do not quit, do not retire. He did not, he went short term disability, then long term disability...the ins co that insures his company made him apply for social security disability, we did and immediately got it, they then subtract that amount from the disability they were paying. Actually we applied and never received a letter saying that he would get it, then just got a check in the mail. I am not sure how long it is, but after you are on social security disability for a while...why does almost 2 years ring a bell, you are eligible for medicare.....which helps. I might suggest though that you also take a supplement to medicare to cover what medicare will not.
Bottom line, when my husband was diagnosed, myself and my daughters were running around in circles....always upset, if anyone looked at us sideways we would cry. We are now very strong in helping him live with this dread disease and he is doing battle again, and we are battling right beside him...
Stay strong, he will need you to be there for him. There will ups and downs and some really great periods where he will feel great, that is when you do those things that you always meant to do....with us, we went to Vatican and it was so uplifting for him. If we get another good period, I hope I can get him to Ireland....and of course, WDW, whenever he needs some magic... We do the best we can...
I will be praying for your Dad... keep us updated on how he is doing... Hugs all around.
"If your dad is stage 4, then you can apply for social security for disability. I believe you don't get an actual payment for either 3-6 months after the diagnosis. To make the process go quicker, get all the records yourself from the onc office, make a copy for yourself, and then give them a copy w/ all the info to the SS people. If your dad is doing chemo, or not feeling well. They can do a phone interview, and then they send you some more stuff to fill out, and then someone else can drop it all off."
This is important and I am glad she gave it to you. My husband is living with pancreatic cancer, diagnosed while still working, the best advice we received was whatever you do, do not quit, do not retire. He did not, he went short term disability, then long term disability...the ins co that insures his company made him apply for social security disability, we did and immediately got it, they then subtract that amount from the disability they were paying. Actually we applied and never received a letter saying that he would get it, then just got a check in the mail. I am not sure how long it is, but after you are on social security disability for a while...why does almost 2 years ring a bell, you are eligible for medicare.....which helps. I might suggest though that you also take a supplement to medicare to cover what medicare will not.
Bottom line, when my husband was diagnosed, myself and my daughters were running around in circles....always upset, if anyone looked at us sideways we would cry. We are now very strong in helping him live with this dread disease and he is doing battle again, and we are battling right beside him...
Stay strong, he will need you to be there for him. There will ups and downs and some really great periods where he will feel great, that is when you do those things that you always meant to do....with us, we went to Vatican and it was so uplifting for him. If we get another good period, I hope I can get him to Ireland....and of course, WDW, whenever he needs some magic... We do the best we can...
I will be praying for your Dad... keep us updated on how he is doing... Hugs all around.
/
After all the testing it was found that my dad has stage 4 lung cancer that has spread to his liver. He begins chemo next week but the doctors feel he only has 6 months and are trying to relieve his symptoms. He has not been told how advanced the cancer is. I am not sure if this is the right decision. My stepmom does not want him to know because she does not want him to give up. I feel like I can't do this. I will be going out in 4 weeks to see him. I'm afraid if I go out now I will fall apart and scare him. I don't know what I am supposed to be doing, feeling, etc.
zalansky
<img src="http://www.wdwinfo.com/images/sponsors/s
- Joined
- Sep 17, 2003
- Messages
- 4,088
Lparente - I am sorry to see the news. You are stronger than you realize. You can go there and though it will be hard, you'll be able to handle it and you won't even for a minute regret the decision to go - but you might always regret the decision of not going. I would say to go out as soon as you can. You never know how these things are going to go. It could be 6 months or even less.
Hopefully he will be home and with hospice. I can't say enough wonderful things about hospice.
Having had two parents pass from cancer - I would have to say I don't believe that chemo is the best idea. Hospice can manage pain and give him a better quality of life. Chemo will just make him feel sick and tired most (if not all) of the time.
My advice is to see him as much as you can and say what you need to say. Don't have regrets when its too late. I will be keeping you and your Dad in my thoughts.
Hopefully he will be home and with hospice. I can't say enough wonderful things about hospice.
Having had two parents pass from cancer - I would have to say I don't believe that chemo is the best idea. Hospice can manage pain and give him a better quality of life. Chemo will just make him feel sick and tired most (if not all) of the time.
My advice is to see him as much as you can and say what you need to say. Don't have regrets when its too late. I will be keeping you and your Dad in my thoughts.
I was called out last Wednesday because he took a turn for the worse and was hospitalized. He passed away on Friday and I am so thankful I was able to spend time with him. My heart is broken but I am thankful he did not suffer and had all of his family with him. After speaking to the doctors, I was able to get clarification. My stepmom was so frazzled that she was not communicating info to me accurately. My dad had a very aggressive and somewhat rare cancer called extragonadal germ cell cancer which had spread to his liver and lungs. He had absolutely no symptoms until Christmas, and then was just tired and felt flu like. By the time he was diagnosed, the tumor in his liver was 18 cm. and his kidneys were not functioning properly. I am still quite shocked and numb, but wanted to thank everyone for their prayers.
TheDisneyGirl02
<font color=navy>I found my Disney Prince!<br><fon
- Joined
- Jun 23, 2006
- Messages
- 7,773
HannahBanana
<font color=teal>I Love The Guy In The <font color
- Joined
- Nov 25, 2007
- Messages
- 597
I understand the stress your going through, my dad has brain cancer. But i am only 12 years old so it's much harder for me, but i understnad how hard it can be for anyone who has a loved one with cancer. Prayes and Hugs Hope all will be well soon.
Hope all will be well soon.
LeahA
DIS Veteran
- Joined
- Jan 28, 2000
- Messages
- 2,185
I am so sorry for your loss. My mom who is 73 was diagnosed 3 weeks ago with liver cancer. Her prognosis is not good, and I am hanging in there, day to day. It's hard, some days are good days and some days are bad days. I pray to God for strength to get through this. I will pray to God to give you strength as well.
-
New BIG Disney Cruise Line Savings for Disney Visa Cardholders!
-
New Details on 'The Exorcist: Believer' at Universal Horror Unleashed
-
Disney Vacation Club Members: $250 Onboard Credit & More Savings!
-
Flavors of Florida Returns to Disney Springs this Summer
-
NEW Disney Gift Card Deals and More
-
Vintage Disney Shopping: Chloe's Treasure Thursday
-
Even MORE Disneyland 70th Merchandise NOW Available
Save Up to 30% on Rooms at Walt Disney World!
Save up to 30% on rooms at select Disney Resorts Collection hotels when you stay 5 consecutive nights or longer in late summer and early fall. Plus, enjoy other savings for shorter stays.This offer is valid for stays most nights from August 1 to October 11, 2025.
CLICK HERE
New Posts
