Prayers for my sister & niece

[bapcap]

Asking for some prayers for my sister and niece...she and her husband have lived in different states due to his job for over 1 year with the occasional get together every 7-8 weeks. IShe called me yesterday and said she received a letter from him stating he was not being the husband she needs nor the father their daughter deserves so he's filing for divorce next week. My sister feels like she's been hit by a train, she tells me she never saw this coming. So here I sit on the West Coast and she's in the midwest with no family around and I feel terrible!!!
Please pray for strength that they will get through this until we can get there to help her move back to us

 

[Disney Doll]

So sorry. I'll keep your sister in my prayers and pray for her to have strength to handle this. It's too bad her husband has met someone else.

 

[ols386]

Wow, so sorry to hear that. Thoughts and prayers for your sister and niece.

 

[Thumper_Man]

So sorry. I'll keep your sister in my prayers and pray for her to have strength to handle this. It's too bad her husband has met someone else.

Wow. That's quite an assumption there. Who said he met someone else?

OP, sorry to hear your sister is going through that. Thoughts and prayers that you get her home quickly and safely.

 

[RadioNate]

Wow. That's quite an assumption there. Who said he met someone else?

OP, sorry to hear your sister is going through that. Thoughts and prayers that you get her home quickly and safely.

I'm sorry to hear this.

While you may think that is "quite an assumption" unfortunately, it likely isn't.

OP - My heart breaks for your sister and her DD. Please let her know that she isn't alone and there is something wrong with HIM, not her.

 

[rie'smom]

I'm so sorry. Your sister and niece are in my prayers.

 

[marcemc]

I'm sorry to hear this.

While you may think that is "quite an assumption" unfortunately, it likely isn't.

OP - My heart breaks for your sister and her DD. Please let her know that she isn't alone and there is something wrong with HIM, not her.

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Please tell your beautiful, strong sister & niece that prayers are being said for them & that eventually things will get better.

He didn't even had the courage to call her........

 

[Buckalew11]

I'm sorry to hear this.

While you may think that is "quite an assumption" unfortunately, it likely isn't.

OP - My heart breaks for your sister and her DD. Please let her know that she isn't alone and there is something wrong with HIM, not her.

Exactly. And my sister and her 4 kids are going through this also. I will keep your sister in my prayers and I wish her the best and much strength. Divorce is hell.

 

[Buckalew11]

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Please tell your beautiful, strong sister & niece that prayers are being said for them & that eventually things will get better.

He didn't even had the courage to call her........

My BIL text my sister. TEXT. After 34 years.

 

[RadioNate]

It could be worse. In my situation my H moved us to the new city before telling me. Trust me, she should be glad she didn't move.

 

[bapcap]

Thank you all for the prayers so far. Talked to my sister today and she told me she doesn't want a divorce and is hoping that her husband will call her this weekend so they can talk. I told her I doubt if he'll call, since he told her about the divorce in a letter. I don't think he has the "guts" to talk to her, knowing what he is putting her through. She does have a consultation appointment with a lawyer next week, just to get a lot of questions answered.

 

[cm8]

Asking for some prayers for my sister and niece...she and her husband have lived in different states due to his job for over 1 year with the occasional get together every 7-8 weeks. IShe called me yesterday and said she received a letter from him stating he was not being the husband she needs nor the father their daughter deserves so he's filing for divorce next week. My sister feels like she's been hit by a train, she tells me she never saw this coming. So here I sit on the West Coast and she's in the midwest with no family around and I feel terrible!!!
Please pray for strength that they will get through this until we can get there to help her move back to us

I will keep your DSIS and your DN in my thoughts and prayers. How sad and terrible she must feel.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Asking for some prayers for my sister and niece...she and her husband have lived in different states due to his job for over 1 year with the occasional get together every 7-8 weeks. IShe called me yesterday and said she received a letter from him stating he was not being the husband she needs nor the father their daughter deserves so he's filing for divorce next week. My sister feels like she's been hit by a train, she tells me she never saw this coming. So here I sit on the West Coast and she's in the midwest with no family around and I feel terrible!!!
Please pray for strength that they will get through this until we can get there to help her move back to us

Maybe it is for the best in the long run? HUGS to your sister.....

 

[bdcp]

Thank you all for the prayers so far. Talked to my sister today and she told me she doesn't want a divorce and is hoping that her husband will call her this weekend so they can talk. I told her I doubt if he'll call, since he told her about the divorce in a letter. I don't think he has the "guts" to talk to her, knowing what he is putting her through. She does have a consultation appointment with a lawyer next week, just to get a lot of questions answered.

You're probably right. He's made his decision which is why he didn't talk to her. He doesn't want to deal with all the repercussions. And I'm sorry, but I agree with a couple of other posters. In my experience with family and friends where the husband (and sometimes the wife) has just up and decided to divorce, it's because he's already found someone else. He'll use other excuses, weak ones in particular like your BIL did to justify why they're leaving.

I also mentioned your original post to my DH and he immediately said "he's found someone else". You might want to prepare your sister for that probability.

I particularly think the statement about not being the father their daughter deserves to have, particularly horrible. He will always be her father, regardless of any divorce. It sounds like he's divorcing both of them. He's being selfish, regardless of anything else that may have led to this from both sides, because there are always two sides. At this point, she needs to get a lawyer.

If, on the off chance, he changes his mind, one of them needs to move so they are together as a family and they need counseling.

 

[snapppyd]

I'm so sorry, and I can't believe he didn't have the guts to do it in person. I can't imagine receiving a letter like that

 

[NaLisa]

Thank you all for the prayers so far. Talked to my sister today and she told me she doesn't want a divorce and is hoping that her husband will call her this weekend so they can talk. I told her I doubt if he'll call, since he told her about the divorce in a letter. I don't think he has the "guts" to talk to her, knowing what he is putting her through. She does have a consultation appointment with a lawyer next week, just to get a lot of questions answered.

I'm so sorry for your sister and niece. Sounds like he's too afraid to see himself in the mirror of her eyes by talking to her directly. He also, obviously, doesn't want to answer any awkward questions. Pretty cowardly, but there's probably not a lot she can do about it. The worst part of it all, IMHO, is that he's also burdened her with having to tell the daughter when mom's not even sure what's going on. I hope mom can be strong for the daughter, since dad seems to have temporarily abandoned her for his own selfish interests.

Unfortunately, it does sound as if he's found someone else, and that his "excuse" is a cop-out, like he's trying to convince himself he's doing something noble for his wife and daughter. How about putting some effort into being a better husband and father instead of ending your marriage via letter and continuing to o whatever the heck you want?

I'm glad your sister has an appointment with a lawyer. At this point, she needs to do what's best for herself and her daughter, as it's obvious that dad no longer has anyone's interests at heart but his own.

 

[bapcap]

Thank you all for your support and prayers. My sister talked to her husband today and begged him to attend counseling with her to try to work things out, but he told her he doesn't want to do that. He says he hasn't been happy for the past year or two and says she hasn't been happy either. Told my sister, he's got a lot of nerve making his decision to divorce sound like she is also responsible for it...she says she knows he's been feeling "down", but he wouldn't talk to her when she asked him about it. I told her she needs to get some advice from an attorney as soon as she can. She is feeling so lonely right now and I can't do anything from where I'm at here on the west coast. My husband and I are planning on going to where she is when she's ready to relocate here, but that may be several weeks. Does anyone know if she has to stay where she is until the divorce proceedings are over or can we move her out here and handle everything via faxes/e-mails and phone calls??

 

[wilderness01]

I would think since he has already moved that she would be free to move. It's not like she is taking their daughter out of the family home/state where approval is needed.

I'm sorry she is going through this. I too think it sounds like he has moved on with his life.

She will need a soft place to land when she realizes what has really happened. I'm glad she has a loving sister.

 

[southern_redhead]

She needs to ask her lawyer before moving out of state. I would HOPE that, as she has no family support where she is and the father isn't living there either, she would be granted the move.

I'm so sorry for her. A long distance marriage can be very hard, even in good circumstances. My DH and I have hit a rough spot and I, for one, can say that it is much easier to contemplate a divorce when the other person isn't in your daily life anyway. I really struggle with being fair to him and my marriage right now. So, I would also say that the full impact of what he has set into motion may not have hit him yet. The first Christmas he has no home/family to go to, the first time he has extra time off work and can't just run home to spend the time with his daughter, those will be hard for him and he probably hasn't even considered that yet.

 

[bapcap]

I so appreciate all the prayers for my sister and niece. Talked to her today and she has gotten some advice from a legal aid advisor and from someone at her bank. She's still hoping her husband will change his mind regarding counseling, but so far he tells her his feelings are not going to change. Once she gets the paperwork from him or his attorney, she'll take everything back to the legal advisor and go from there. My husband and I are planning on flying out to help her drive her car and stuff back here to California by about the middle of June. Please continue to pray for them, as she is feeling very lonely. She works part-time, so thankfully she has a reason to get out of the house Nd be around others a few days a week. Each day I call and she sounds a little better...if that's even possible after having your whole world turned "inside out"!!!