Prayers for my DH if you are so inclined...good thoughts, well wishes welcome

[Frye7127]

My DH was offered a job with great $$ and benefits 12 hours from our hometown where we were both born and raised fo the most part. our immediate families live here or no more than 45 minutes away. Our DD18 just went away to college and is adjusting well (my SD and only reference this to show that she has her mom here in town when school is out along with our families that are supportive of her). we also have a DS who is 9 and loves his school and has had a good year making friends, etc.

This has been coming for a long time. DH got his master's 18 months ago and his company won't put him in a position to use his newfound knowledge. He will never do anything more than he is doing and has lost a quite a bit of money this year (for the second year in a row). In addition, the company as a whole are doing terribly and many people think they will be out of business within three years. No growth, no new development, poor management, and a baffoon who will drive it into the ground starting in January when his role changes to manager of a certain division. He pointed out last night he has been trying to get out of there since the third year and has now been there 14 years.

I have gotten right with it and am fine. Our DS is okay as a nine year old boy can be, but is looking forward to a possible new adventure. I have discussed this with my family some and they are supportive. My DHs family is supportive and beyond excited at the opportunity laying at his feet. The Community we will be moving to is great! Terrific schools, voted one of the best places live in America and best place to raise a family. Lots of parks, outdoor activities, weather is similar to our hometown. 12 hours away from our hometown.

Now, the part for prayers, my DH is about to have a nervous breakdown over it. He knows it is an opportunity of a lifetime and a life changing career change. The facilities were amazing (his are a dump), the people are friendly and he says he felt at home on his interview, like he had known them forever (unlike the crew he works with). He is a complete wreck.

We went through this about 10 years ago with another job and he has kicked himself in the rear when he walked away from it and went back to his current job. I am trying not to push too hard as I know he will dig his heels in and that will be that. So, if you can send prayers, kind-hearted wishes, good thoughts, etc his way, I would so much appreciate it. I pray he finds peace with it soon. His family will kill him if he doesn't take it (and I just might join them )

Sorry so long....

 

[MissyDVC]

Prayers, good thoughts and best wishes for whatever choices are made

 

[mcco5543]

much love to your and your family. Change is hard..even good change like this. I will send positive energy your way and I know it'll work out for the best no matter what you decide. your spouse is so lucky to have so much support and you can always "come home" 12 hours is NOT that far!! Can you show him how/when you can do regular trips home and have him see that he wont' be totally disconnected from his current comfort zone? best of luck and please please let us know what' ya'll decide!

 

[chell]

Sure thing, plenty of prayers, good thoughts, wishes and pixie dust headed your way!

 

[tileman]

Good luck

Ron.

 

[suejai]

good luck

Maybe it would help him to make a list of all the things he dislikes about his current job and all the things he does like. And then another one listing all the new opportunities he will have if he took the new job and all the things making him fearful to change. Sometimes it helps to quantify things and see it on paper in black and white, and if he can identify what it is that is holding him back maybe he can overcome his reluctance to change.

It is hard to leave a job that you have had for so long, even if you hate it. I was in the same situation as your husband, although no where near as long. I stuck it out for 7 1/2 years but finally made the break this last February. You start feeling much better about yourself when you do finally break yourself out of your rut.

 

[DMickey28]

Hugs and Prayers for your DH. Change, especially jobs, is very tough. My DH is currently on a weeks vacation from one job and starting his new job on Monday. It was a long time coming (not as long as your DH) but he was miserable there, deadend ... same things. Our situation is a bit opposite, we moved home for him to look for a new job because we had been living 24 hours away for 5.5 years.

12 hours isn't that far ... close enough to drive if need be for an emergency or long holidays. It'll be a great oppurtunity for your family.

Until DH quit his last job I didn't realize how much it had changed the man that I love. He was so miserable and while he tried so hard to be strong for me, it just changed him. He is much happier now ... jokes with me more. Our relationship just feels different and I have no doubt it is the hold that the old job had over him ...

Good Luck ... on one hand it's just a job but on the other, especially for men for some reason and especially one who solely supports the family, it's a MAJOR part of their world. I could always leave work at work and couldn't understand why DH couldn't ... it just wasn't the same.

 

[snoopybabe]

Sending prayers and pixie dust

We did something similar back in 2001 and have never regretted it. Our DD who was 9 when we moved & is now a senior in hs has never regretted it. Our DS was in 7th grade at the time & he also loved it here he's now a junior in college (Gosh time goes to quickly lol

Wishing you lots of luck!

 

[Aisling]

Now, the part for prayers, my DH is about to have a nervous breakdown over it. He knows it is an opportunity of a lifetime and a life changing career change. He is a complete wreck.

Your poor husband! I pray that God will put it in your husband's heart that he should make the move with no fear. Before you know it, God will have angels helping you pack for your move!!
God, please give this man the peace that he needs to accept this blessing of a wonderful new career! AMEN!

 

[minechuchie]

Prayers said my friend. In this job market tell your husband to take it as a huge compliment that he was offered the job. If he decides to take the job why not just rent a small apartment near his new job for 6 months and see if you both are willing to make the move permanent! Good luck...life is what you make it.

 

[minkydog]

Aww, you're going to be fine. It will be hard the first year, when you're adjusting and it becomes "real" to you *Holy cow! I live 12hrs away from my whole family! Yike!* But if you look for them, you will find friends and put down roots in your new home.

We live 400 miles from our families. We miss a lot of birthdays, holidays, dance recitals *well, that's actually a plus* But we stay in touch via email and cell phone. We go home when we can, but our real life is here, in Georgia.

I grew up moving a lot. Every time my dad got mad at work, he'd quit and off we'd go. Ugh. The last move we made was when I was in the middle of 9th grade. then my Dad got a wild hair to move to Brooklyn--from very rural Alabama. My mother finally put her foot down! I honestly think it would have been the ruination of us all to have moved again during high school. It took a lot of guts for mom to refuse, but she did it for us.

Don't get the idea that I'm saying don't move your son. Not at all. At 9yo he will very likely make the transition without a lot of drama. But in High School? I wouldn't do it unless it was truly an emergency.

Good luck in your new place. Hope your hubby calms down soon and sees the benefit to you ALL of moving out to the new job. And you know, if you don't like it the road runs both ways.

 

[4nana]

Best wishes to your husband on his decision. Change is scary, but sounds like he will have the best of both worlds with a new job where he can perform at his full potential and also have family near by.

Our DS is military, needless to say they go where ever Uncle Sam sends them. His family has moved 4 times in 6 yrs, Praise God, it's really surprising how well their 4 kids have adjusted to their military adventure. Sending pixie dust and good luck to your family that the best is yet to come!!

 

[Frye7127]

Thank you for all of your sweetness and encouragement. We talked last night and I don't know if it is any better for him. In his heart of hearts, he knows it is the right thing to do, but he just can't get past the uprooting part. He is going to talk to his future boss today and HR to try to negotiate a little more. Maybe that will ease his mind. Will keep you updated and thank you again. Keep praying a bit longer, please.

 

[pixiewings71]

Good luck!!

 

[Luv2Scrap]

Good luck to you! We're going to be going through a very similar situation in about a year and a half when DH and I graduate!

 

[Frye7127]

Just another update...He has accepted the job. All of families now know, and I have to say telling my parents was the hardest for us both. He is still struggling with moving and being apart for about six months, but in the end knows that this is best for us. It is heartbreaking for us both to think what my parents will miss with our son...He is very close to both of them and they are very active grandparents.

Continue to pray, if you will...it is very much appreciated.

 

[mcco5543]

So happy for your new chapter in your family's life! Remember thare are long weekends, video diaries, audio tapes, cards, letters, and the telephone. You can even find a half way point and spend a weekend with family members in a hotel now that you will be making a bit more money! This is totally a feasible thing. i know 12 hours feels very far away but with consistent and regular visits it'll seem not so far! Lots of love!!!

 

[SC Minnie]

Set up your parents with Skype. They will be able to talk to him and they can actually see him (and you guys ). With the internet it is much easier to pass photos and videos of things that happen. Set them up with a Facebook account or something where you can both post daily things of whats going on in your lives and pics and stuff like that. Although they won't be able to actually 'be' there for things hopefully that will make you both feel a little closer.

 

[chell]

Still sending you hugs and prayers. I'm glad to hear he accepted the offer. I hope once everyone gets settled in you are all more happy then you ever though you could be.