Potty training

[Idaho]

Now that I am on the boards, I am in need of some help. I am trying to potty train our 2 year old and she isn't having anything to do with it. We have stopped using diapers completely, have put her in a big bed, have stopped using the high chair, etc., all so she will feel like a "big girl." I put her on the potty all the time and make her sit for at least 5 minutes. She is going naked because the moment I put underwear or a pull up on her, she wets in that. I have tried letting her play in warm water while she is on the toilet, have left the sink tap running, have poured warm water over her, and have bribed her with Smarties. She has yet to go in the toilet, and this is our second try. The first time was about a month ago and we tried for 6 straight days and she never once went on the toilet. This time we are potty training or else. Any thoughts??

Thanks.

 

[MosMom]

We didn't really potty train. We just left the potty there and encouraged her when she would go but that is about it. She was trained by her 3rd birthday and nobody was stressed about it. She had very few accidents as well. I'm a firm believer in the idea that kids will train when their bodies are ready and pushing the issue doesn't really help.

My son is almost 21 months and we are going to buy a potty soon just to have around. If he goes on it, we will praise him but won't push it.

That is just my opinion though, you will get many.

 

[Melora]

At this point I would stop trying completely and try again in at least a few months. If she isnt doing it, there is nothing you can do to force her. She will do it when she is ready. 2 is too early for *some* kids. I've got 5 kids and everybody did it at a differnt time in a different way. The earliest was 2 years 3 months up until mid 3.

My little guy is 3 and he is excellent even at night.. BUT...... he asks to use a diaper when he needs to poop. I tell him every time that poopy belongs in the potty and he says NO! I think he wants to stand and poop and on the potty he isnt comfortable trying to do it sitting down. I know it will happen soon though.

 

[jwsqrdplus2]

It sounds like to me that she isn't quite ready yet. My older DD was not out of diapers until a couple of weeks before her 3rd b-day. One day she insisted that she wanted to wear big girl panties to school, and I was too tired (DD2 was 2 weeks old at the time!) to argue. She hasn't looked back since. Another year in pullups at night, but she has been completely free of diapers/pullups for 1 1/2 years now (she is 5 1/2). DD2 is 2 1/2 and is interested and making progress, but not ready for panties. She will use the potty regularly for peeing, but has yet to poop in the potty.

Don't worry. It will come!

 

[dcgrumpy]

We have stopped using diapers completely

what do you do at night?



she's probably not ready yet

 

[vald1977]

I am a firm believer in "they will do it when they are ready". Maybe your daughter just isn't physically ready to potty train yet or maybe she is turning it into a power struggle. Either way, you're going to be fighting a losing battle until she decides she wants to do it.

I would suggest waiting a couple of months and then giving it another try. Incentives like a sticker chart or new toy always go over big and the other thing we did was let ds play naked from the waist down and put the potty near where he was playing. That way if the urge struck he could get to the potty fast. Good luck !

 

[Idaho]

I should mention that she is going to be 3 in May, and that I want her trained before baby comes along and before we start into summer because she won't want to be in the house once the weather gets nice. Also, she seems to be ready in other ways because she does NOT like to wear her diaper once it is wet or anything. And she talks really well so she is definately able to tell me if she needs to go.

 

[Idaho]

At night we use pull-ups to save the sheets. I have made a big deal out of her knowing that they aren't diapers, too.

 

[Aimeedyan]

It sounds like she's not ready yet for it... and that's okay! Some children aren't ready until they're 3... and sometimes even a little older. Just because society has told us they need to be trained at 2 doesn't mean that have to be!

I would lay off of it for now. Start using pull-ups with her, maybe give her an initiative for using the potty, and then just let her decide when she wants to do it. She knows that you can't MAKE her do it... =) Aw, the mind of a 2 yo.

Remember that a potty is a very scary thing... she's never known anything different that a diaper, and she was quite happy with that arrangement! Then all of a sudden, her high chair, bed, and diapers were taken from her... and people want her to be a big girl! In her mind, things were going great - why change?!!!! its a bit scary.

2 yo's are notoriously self independent as well, and they really can only control two things: their toileting and their eating. She maybe trying to tell you something with holding it off...

Don't worry - she's not behind! Give her time, she'll come around. I have yet to meet an adult still in diapers =)

=)

 

[AZKathy]

She will potty train when she is ready. Don't push the issue; when she has in interest to do so, she will do it. We pushed the issue with DS and he got constipated very badly because he was just so stubborn to do number two in the potty. Just put the diapers back on her right now and wait a bit. Maybe in a few months, bring the Cinderella panties out again and try again!

 

[Aimeedyan]

I just read that you have a new baby coming... this is VERY normal for older siblings fighting that. She knows big changes are about to happen, and this can be a way in which children show that to their parents.

I have worked with MANY parents that made a goal to have their child potty trained before a new baby came, and not one of them were trained... Their child picked up on the urgency and put a stop to things. So don't worry - that's VERY normal, and okay!

 

[BobbinWeez]

I work daily with children your child's age. Don't push potty training. If you push it will just make things worse. With a new baby on the way your daughter may regress and refuse the potty...totally normal. Many children don't like diapers or know and will tell you when they need to be changed but are still not ready for the potty. A child must be able to recognize the feelings in her body as a need to use the toilet as well as having the physical ability to control and use the muscles that are used in toileting. Summer time is a great time to potty train. Plus being almost 3 is not too old to be in diapers. She will use the potty when she's ready. Toddlers love to be in control...she has recognized the potty as a way to play around with Mom and Dad. So she'll probably continue to fight potty training until you back off.

 

[Jasminesmommy]

Put underwear on then the pullup andmaybe she willdislike the feeling and pump her with liquids. Also Dr. Phil says buy a doll that pee's and praise it when it goes potty and she should follow. But she will do it when ready. My son is 4 and stillnot trained. well actually he is when he wants something. But he pee's or poops everyday I think its a spite thing.

 

[CamColt]

Im no expert but it sounds like she isnt ready. If they arent ready there is no way they will do it. All the bribes, methods, and tricks in the book wont work. Trust me, we tried EVERYTHING with our oldest and nothing worked. he just wasnt ready. Finally after he turned 3 1/2 he was ready and did it. And he never had an accident.
Oh and when I was pregnant with my 2nd and DS was coming up on 3 the doctor said dont even bother with potty training because as soon as the baby comes he will regress anyway. Just a thought.

 

[dcgrumpy]

Oh and when I was pregnant with my 2nd and DS was coming up on 3 the doctor said dont even bother with potty training because as soon as the baby comes he will regress anyway. Just a thought.

That is so true, DS started crying for bottles right after DD was born. He's 3 now and still not fully potty trained.

 

[Otto's Doll]

I never pushed potty training. They will do it when they are ready... and not a moment before. DS was 3.5 and DD was pretty close to that. One thing with letting them do it on their own, was that once they were done, they NEVER had another accident. They just had be be ready. Don't worry, she won't go to college in her diapers.

 

[Idaho]

Now that I have posted it is funny that it happened, but she DID go in the potty this afternoon, for the first time!! She told me she had to go and we sat in there for about 10 minutes, I left for about 20 seconds and she went. I think I scared her when I went running back in there, but she was rewarded and seems fine. I hope this is the start of a trend!!

 

[shortbun]

Has anyone else mentioned/noticed that she's been through
lots of "big girl" transitions lately. We always operated on the
one thing at a time principal and it worked pretty well. A very
good child psychologist told me that young children fear the loss
of all comforts when adults start throwing all the grown up
changes at them at once. Why not be happy about being in the
big girl bed and all the other things you've done to make her feel
like a big girl. Maybe she doesn't want to change everything.
Kids this age are creatures of habit. Take baby steps, let her
know she's still your baby....also, don't call your upcoming
blessed event the "new" baby, just call the baby by it's name.

 

[Knight]

I personally think potty training is overrated. If I had kids, which I don't yet, I would just let them figure it out on their own. I have never met a 12 year old who doesn't know how to use the potty, so you know they will self-train eventually.

 

[Hillbeans]

My DS is 3 and 2 months and still isn't "potty trained". He'll use the potty 5-6 times a day, but he still has wet diapers and doesn't tell me when he goes. Generally though, he's dry at night and wants to go "first thing".

We're getting there, slowly but surely. It's not uncommon to be 3 and not potty trained. It'll all happen in due time, i've learned it can't be forced. I've tried stickers, underwear, bribes, showing him my 2 yo niece does it, etc.