Potty training

[beachgrl001]

DS will be 3 on 9/8 He has had no intrest in the potty so far. When I tried leaving his bottom bare he got mad and said "put my diaper on." I dont want to force him And it just seems like he's not ready yet. The problem is that I have him signed up for a preschool class starting in sept. (3hrs a class 2days a week) Im not sure what their policy is with pull ups but i guess if they dont allow them then he's not going to be able to go WhenI ask him if he wants to go on the potty he says no Ill do it later, but he is Really looking forward to going to school and making friends. Do you think if I told them that I would come to the school and change his pullup if it needs to be changed that they would allow it? Any suggestions?

 

[bartleby1]

I feel so sad for you and your son because I've remember having all of the same feelings when my DS was starting preschool. Thankfully, he was a little older than your son (he had turned 3 in may and started school in sept) and he finally decided to train in August (2 days before we were driving from NJ to Florida!)

Unfortunately, there isn't much you can do to push him along. In my experience, the kids call the shots on the potty issue and until they decide that they are ready, no amount of bribery, rewards or punishments will work.

Talk to the school and see what they suggest. I know that my DS's preschool had a very strict 'no pullups' policy, but maybe yours would be more willing to work with you. Or, you might be able to find another school that is willing to take him without being potty trained. I know that around here, the preschools that also do daycare for infants and toddlers are more willing to take a non-potty trained kid for preschool.

Otherwise, all you can do is keep working with him and hoping for the best. I have three kids and once they decided they were ready, we had very few accidents and they trained in a few days. My girls were around 2 yrs 8 mths and my son was 3 yrs 2.5 mths. DS was definitely the hardest because I was feeling the pressure of him starting school. I pulled my hair out that summer trying to train him and it did NOTHING. I finally gave up, put his big boy undies on top of his dresser and told him to let me know when he was ready. It was extremely frustrating for me. But, two days before we were leaving for vacation, he brought his big boy undies downstairs and announced that he was ready. He put them on and only had one daytime accident from that point on.

Some of my friends have sworn that there kids trained very quickly by naked potty training. I tried with my DS and he just peed all over my house. But, others have been successful with it, so it might be worth a shot!

Hang in there!

 

[Hannathy]

Quit Asking! I had an old professor give me the best advice I ever got as a teacher and a parent " Never ask a question you don't want the answer to" Your problem is you asked and he answered. Somethings are not open for the child to decide, do you ask him if he wants to not play in the street or if you wants only candy for 3 meals a day? I would just tell him that there are no more diapers since he is a big boy now and that is that. He is plenty old enough. If he is that verbal that he can say no later, he can say when he has to go to the bathroom. If you keep going 100% on his answers it could be very interesting when he is 16. Input is one thing total control is another.

Most pre-schools are very strict on the potty training and I don't blame them.

 

[Aristomommy]

I dont want to force him And it just seems like he's not ready yet. [/I]

What makes you feel that he is not ready? From your post it sounds that he has the vocabulary to express himself. Does he recognize when he needs to go? Does he hide when it's time to go poop? If he can go some time with a dry diaper, he should be ready to potty train. Sounds like you might be heading into a power struggle with him, and he insists on wearing diapers. DS is almost 2 1/2 and we started potty training this weekend. I explained to him that we used the last diaper, and there are only undies now. He wears a pull up at night, but he thinks they are undies too. The process is messy, and we can't really go anywhere this weekend, but he is already figure out our consistency with the process.

You decide when you want to start the training and he may not like it at first. I would start the process now and see how he does when school starts rather than waiting for him to feel ready. I hope it all works out for you.

 

[DisneyMomx7]

I would trust your own instincts as to whether he is ready or not. Also, maybe get some input from your pediatrician. Believe me, I've trained seven and you can lead a horse to water but you can't make them drink! All kids are different - one of mine trained completely at 18 months and another was 3 1/2 before he finally got trained! No one goes to kindergarten in diapers. Relax!

 

[Ellester]

I would try telling him the truth, that the preschool won't let him come to school if he cannot go on the potty. That's what prompted my second dd to finally use the potty right before she started preschool (she was three that August, right before school started).

 

[bumbershoot]

My friend was in the same situation as you. She is the main moneymaker in the family, her husband had finally gotten his teaching credentials as well as a job, and at the same time her SIL said she couldn't watch their boy anymore, so he had to go to all-day, non-family daycare. But he refused to poop in anything but dipes- he could and would hold it for days, he could and would sit on the toilet for as long as she made him, without going.

As the summer went on she got desperate, and started taking away toys. He didn't care at all. Until the very last toy, his favorite, his huge plush shark. I can't remember if it was the realization that it was next, or if she actually did take it away, but he figured out the toilet and lost the dipes almost immediately once it got to his shark. It finally motivated him.


Different method...my cousin learned of a weekend potty training method from a Doctor Phil show...there's a book about it. That's all I know about it (aside from the fact that it was successful for my cousin), but hopefully it's enough info to start from!



Lastly, if you haven't seen the Dr Sears potty-learning book, check it out from the library. I liked it.

 

[Huntava]

Talk to the school about it, I know ours had a posted "potty trained only" rule, but when I asked them about it, they said they understood and had quite a few 3 yr olds that weren't trained at all, or partially trained. It helped b/c my son was partially trained, but he saw that some of the boys got to go to the "big boys potty", and wanted to learn mroe about that...they didn't train him, that took a lot of work at home, but it didn't hurt either.

 

[taximomfor4]

I let all 4 of my kids pottytrain themselves. I just waited till they insisted. For my youngest, I ended up having to withdraw her from preschool because she hadn't decided to potty train yet. I always figured, why fight...eventually, the child will make the choice themselves with no threatening or coaxing. And then, they are done in ONE DAY. (DD finally did it at about 3 1/2, but then had frequent accidents...still has them occasionally, and she is supposed to start K in the fall. She just doesn't care too much yet.

Beth

 

[I Love Pluto]

We told our son that the store ran out of his size diapers. He had to use the big boy underwear. He quickly decided that it would be better to use the potty than have all that wet stuff drip down his legs. He trained in one day - no problems.

Use the big boy underwear. Reward with a "big boy" toy. (We kept our reward toy on the top shelf of a closet. He could see it, but he couldn't have it until he stayed completely dry for 5 days.)

 

[daisyduck123]

We told our son that the store ran out of his size diapers. He had to use the big boy underwear. He quickly decided that it would be better to use the potty than have all that wet stuff drip down his legs. He trained in one day - no problems.

That is similar to how we did it.

One Friday night, I put regular undies on her & told her, "That's it. You're wearing big girl underwear from now on. Well, that evening, while playing with her toys, she wet herself. She HATED that!! Well, all it took was that one time...she had dry undies from then on (at night too!! I don't know how that happened!!)

Sometimes going "cold turkey" really does work!!

For the OP:
BTW, I'm a teacher & I really don't think the school will allow you to just say you'd like to come up & change him if he has an accident.
That would open up a can of worms with other parents who didn't sign their kids up because they weren't fully trained & it would also cause disruption in the classroom.

 

[toesmom]

My ds is 4 in November and starts JK full time full day on Sept 5. He is home with me full time and is only really starting to talk within the last 2 months.

He has shown no steps to wanting to use potty, doesn't seem to care at all. But, because he starts JK and has to be trained to go by himself, flush toilet, wash hands etc, I have to start.

So I read on disboards some advice and started 10 days ago.

I took off his diaper, and put on big boy underwear and started putting him to sit on the potty first thing in the morning. He didn't go right away, so I set the timer and did it again every 15 minutes until he went. He earned 1 jelly bean.

BTW, he didn't care that he wet himself with his underwear; he just took it off and carried on with his usual business.

We have pretty much been following this routine for the past 10 days and over the last 3 days a few times he has said pee pee and I rushed him to potty and he did it. He calls #2 chocolate pee pee. LOL

Anyhow, we stay home and don't go anywhere until he has gone. I know he'll stay dry for at least 2 hours.

I really didn't believe he could do it, but he actually has started and I think by September, he'll be able to do it at school on his own.

Just start by putting him on potty regularly until he goes. We bought pull ups only in case of accidents and so that I can drive places without him peeing on the car seat.

Good luck, I didn't think my ds was ready, but I think he will make it a habit once you start it with him.

You have 2 months to do it, and at least your guy talks. It's a lot tougher with a boy who barely says more than a few words.

 

[MSSANDRA]

This is the advice i give when children are over three. Buy two baskets and a lot of regular boys underwear. Get rid of all diapers,pull ups etc. Turn it all over to him. Explain that is is now up to him to clean up after all accidents and to put on the clean underwear. Show him where to put the soiled underwear in the basket and showhim the supply of clean underwear in the other one. Almost always works.

Most school in our area are quite strict on the preschool policy on pull-ups/ training rules. I however would not use the school as a bribe, bribes can
get out of hand really fast. just be very matter of fact that it is now all in his hands and then back off. Of course your might have to do some bathroom cleaning but it will be worth it.

 

[Sandi12404]

My daughter turned 3 in January and showed absolutly no intrest in the potty. I kept trying but she didn't care. Put her in underwear and she would wet herself and not care. I thought, there is no way this is going to happen. Then I took her down to preschool to register her (she can not wait for pre-school) and the teacher told her that she couldn't wait for her to come to preschool but she had to go potty first. A week later she was completly trained. I think it might have been the threat of no preschool from the teacher that did it.

 

[wannago2disney]

Potty training is a battle for sure...you know you can't force them, it is totally up to them, that said...you still try!

My son's biggest incentive was that he wanted to go to "school" and we explained to him that there is no school until he learns to use the potty/toilet. we started with him very early because I was pregnant with DD...about a week after she was born he was trained...he wanted to be a big boy and help Mommy and be aloud to go to "school" (daycare) with his friends. He was 2-1/2 the last time he had a day accident.

However, I can't provide the same incentive for DD (NO MORE KIDS FOR ME) she is now 27 months and we are working on it...we started early with her as well because she was pulling down her own dipe. and had the vocab. But everytime i asked her to go she refused...refused to wear big girl undies for me as well.....about a month ago she spent 5 days with Nana, and came back day trained! Nana paid her to pee! $0.01 each time...she came home with a change purse full Incentives!

If you have someone close by who your child will do things for that you have to fight with him about, give it a try....another trick is to have a potty that talks or plays a tune AND the seat that fits the toilet. DD will use one and the next time abosutley demand to use the other...what ever works!

Good luck! and like a PP said no one goes to kindergarden in diapers!

 

[Tikicampers]

DS trained at just over three years. He was very verbal and showed some interest at an earlier age, but he just wasn't ready to fully train until then. You know your child best, if you feel he isn't ready, he probably isn't.

The thing that finally did get DS, was big boy underwear. We bought a bunch of cool ones, and stopped pullups completely. If he had an accident, I helped him clean up and reminded him that when he had to go he needed to let me know. He was trained for #1 pretty quickly. #2 took a bit longer, but he's got it now.

I don't believe in pushing it with potty training. I know some kids handle it fine, but I have worked with kids who had serious bathroom related problems, and I didn't want to do anything with DS that might lead to those. More than one boy in DS's class was not potty trained at 3. His school was very understanding.

 

[daisyduck123]

Nana paid her to pee! $0.01 each time...

Oh Tag Fairy....where are you?!!!!

 

[nemonoah]

Quit Asking! I had an old professor give me the best advice I ever got as a teacher and a parent " Never ask a question you don't want the answer to" Your problem is you asked and he answered. Somethings are not open for the child to decide, do you ask him if he wants to not play in the street or if you wants only candy for 3 meals a day? I would just tell him that there are no more diapers since he is a big boy now and that is that. He is plenty old enough. If he is that verbal that he can say no later, he can say when he has to go to the bathroom. If you keep going 100% on his answers it could be very interesting when he is 16. Input is one thing total control is another.

Most pre-schools are very strict on the potty training and I don't blame them.

I totally agree. I told my 25mo. old "you are going to use the potty like a big boy" and that was that. No diapers, no pull-ups, and he only had one accident. I used to be a pre-school teacher and my one pet peeve was we would work so hard all week potty training these kids, and I guess on the weekends the parents diddnt want to be bothered because on Mondays we would have to start all over again. Consistency is also key, I would set the timer on the microwave for every 15min. and as soon as it would go off, my son would sit on the potty, if he went we would set it for 20-30min. if not, it would be set for 10min. and it really worked! he got so the second that timer went off he was running to the potty.

 

[bzzymom]

My daughter turned 3 in Feb and she had absolutely no interest in being potty trained until 1 week ago. I am sending her to preschool this fall also. I didn't force her or anything. I would sit her on the toilet in the morning, and before bath, and such, but she had no interest. Then, all of a sudden, last weekend she started to tell us when she had to go. She has been in panties except for nap and bed times and has only had 2 or 3 accidents, which happened on the way to the bathroom.

Good luck!

 

[caroline1851]

As far as my exp. goes, most preschools will only allow child to attend if they're completely potty trained.
Have you tried rewards for using the potty? I stopped putting a diaper on my son, but kept his clothes on (sweatpants in the winter). I gave him a lot to drink and every hour i would say "do you want some M & M's" and he would "yes" and i'd say "okay, let's go potty", and he would. He was trained after a week of that. Sometimes i think it's more if the parent is ready than the child, because it's a strong comittment for those first few days. pretty much don't leave the house and just do it.