potty training nightmare

[WindyCityDisney]

Could also be a muscle recognition issue. My DS was 4.8 before he was poop trained, and our pediatrician cautioned us that he may not be able to recognize the "signals". It was very hard, but eventually he got it.

And I'm not even concerned about nighttime yet. He's 50/50 on whether the Overnights are dry or wet each morning. THAT will come.

 

[clownchk]

My son only poops about 5 days a week. Doc is NOT at all concerned.

We manage by sitting on the potty every 2 hours or so and every time we change locations (Potty before we leave the house, when we arrive at or leave a store, etc).

We've been dry all night and during naps for about 8 months now and we only have about 4-5 wet accidents a week. HE just turned 3 the end of June.

As for poops, just watch her for ANY sign of going...hiding, squatting, a look of deep concentration LOL, face turning red, etc and then promptly whisk her away to sit on the potty.

We make a HUGE deal about poops on the potty (We have poops on the potty parties LOL). Now a days we can get by with a huge look of surprise or just a "Yay" but it works for us! (And only just a bit embarrassing when Ds will say "Yay, Mommy, you pooped on the potty" in public!)

Just be patient, be consistant and stick with it.

Best of luck to you!

 

[Zeebs]

Does she ask to poop in a diaper? 3 of my 5 pee trained months before poop, and it's common. The 3 days would concern me - witholding can lead to permanant bowel damage, causing serious issues. Trust me - eventually she will poop in the potty. However, if she wants to poop in a diaper, please, please let her. There are message boards out their for parents of children who withheld, and now have very embarrassing problems.

The OP has already stated that the going every three days is her normal pattern even before the toilet training so I don't think she needs to worry about witholding unless she starts going less regular.

It is perfectly normal for someone to only go every three days.

I am sorry I can't help with what to do. My wee man has shown no inclination to start any time soon. But am picking up some good tips on here for when he is ready. Hopefully because he makes the most amount of noise when he is about to do a poo, we can get it sorted fast as he kind of gives a heads up that he is about to go.

Good luck I am sure it will all come right.

Kirsten

 

[jenseib]

I wouldn;t go back to diapers either, but no way would I clean poop out of underwear every day or even every third day. Pull ups is what I would do. She can still pull them down to go pee, but not so messy for the poop.

 

[mom~of~2]

Just a suggestion... you might want to check out toilet training message boards. I used to lurk on the babycenter toilet training discussion board and found it very helpful. I saw SO many stories that were similar to mine... I discovered it was very common for children to poop train late. I got lots of ideas. Unfortunately, none of them worked for us; however, it was so helpful to see that I wasn't alone. Patience is key (I know, easier said than done!). Again, good luck!

 

[AKBAFB]

Hang in there. I know it's frustrating - my oldest did the same thing, except she would go put on a pull up to poop in. Think positively - she does have the pee thing down! She will get the poop thing eventually, but it sounds like she's the type that will have to do it on her own schedule. Try to keep a neutral reaction, very matter-of-fact about it all, because you won't want to make this a power struggle. Do whatever you need to to make this less frustrating for yourself (i.e. stock up on cheap underwear for her and just throw it out when she has a poop accident rather than trying to clean it, ask her if she wants to put on a pull up or diaper when she poops, etc.). Make sure to point out that poop is always flushed because it's stinky, yucky, trash that your body doesn't want inside of it. She'll get there eventually. Good luck!

 

[crisi]

DO NOT put her back in diapers - she is pee trained! That's like saying put a child back in diapers because he's not night trained. Pee/poop/night - don't always happen at the same time.

Why not?

 

[Maggie'sMom]

Why not?

You don't ever want to go backwards on potty training. Once you make the move to panties, stick with it. Otherwise, the child may decide it's just easier to go in the diaper all the time, pee included. Then you are back to square 1. Plus, my experience is it seems like kids become more aware of their bms when they are in underwear rather than diapers.

 

[crisi]

My experience differs than yours. Each child is different. Fecal matter can be dangerous, and you want to make sure the child is wearing something that contains the fecal matter - that is more important than "going backwards" with potty training.

 

[ERMama]

She JUST turned 3. Potty training shouldnt be a nightmare. Is it an inconvienence, yes. But making it such a dramatic process is surely not helping either of you.
Let it go for a few months and see what she does.

 

[mjkacmom]

My experience differs than yours. Each child is different. Fecal matter can be dangerous, and you want to make sure the child is wearing something that contains the fecal matter - that is more important than "going backwards" with potty training.

Do you have any idea how many kids pee train months before they poop train? I can't imagine putting ds back in diapers for the entire year he was pee trained, but not poop. For my kids who had delayed training, what broke the fear was when they accidently pooped on the potty, peeing.

I'd encourage the child to ask for a diaper if she had to poop, but not go back to peeing in a diaper.

 

[eclairemom]

http://www.healthsystem.virginia.edu/internet/pediatrics/patients/Tutorials/Constipation/encopre.cfm

My DD started holding it when she was potty trained and holding it and holding it. It would be two days then the next thing it would be three days and so on. Soon she started having smears or loose stool in her panties. Turned out she was so constipated that she couldn't go and what I was seeing was just what was passing around the poop inside of her. The fix was a week of enema's two times a day and a laxitive via mouth. Still almost 2 years later she still tries to hold it, but is much better and has been because of a daily does of Phillips MOM.

 

[churchpilot]

Children who hold poop sometimes do it as a "control" thing. Sometimes it depends on the personality of the child and how they respond to potty training. In order to make it impossible for a child to hold poo-poo in, our pediatrician had us mix a little mineral oil in his chocolate milk. It took us about a week or so to get the dosing right (started off with 1 teaspoon and ended up giveing 2 TSP's a day for about 2 weeks and then backed off to 1 tsp daily. It made his poo-poo so slick he couldn't hold it in. This combined with regular times on the toilet broke him of trying to hold the poo-poo in. He would previously hold his poo-poo so long that it was almost impossible to pass without extreme pain. We now mix flax seed oil with his milk because it is good for him, but it also keeps him very regular.

 

[miksilver]

OP -- I feel and understand your frustration. My DD is finally fully and completley potty trained. Pooping was a huge issue for us as well. The key to our success was Benefiber in her drink everynight. (My DD is on a very typical toddler diet and doesn't get the fiber naturally in her diet).

Her problem was that she was holding in her poop so long and refusing to poop because it hurt her. Well, of course it hurt -- they were some big poops coming out of a little bottom. It was so bad that she waited until she was asleep and then would poop in her sleep. She would wake up crying becaue she had an accident. So, our problem was that I had a DD who wouldn't poop at all! At one point she told me that, "Little girls didn't poop."

After trying bribes of every sort and seeing them not work one day we tried a slightly different tactic. We started her on the Benefiber routine at night and told her that this would help her poop and that when she pooped we were going to tell Mickey Mouse. When she finally pooped on the potty she was so exicted and asked us if we were going to call Mickey? My DH said he would call him at work the next day and tell him what a big girl she was. Then DH would report back to my DD their "conversation". After a few weeks of the fiber working and Mickey renforcment I sent her a package from Mickey Mouse (Disney shopping.com) and put in note from Mickey how he was so proud of her and would see her when she came down in October. Even now sometimes when she poops she'll ask if we'll call Mickey and tell him how good she's doing.

Keep in there. At one point -- when there was a lot of yelling and screaming -- I never thought I would make it through, but we did.

 

[nessz79]

Children who hold poop sometimes do it as a "control" thing. Sometimes it depends on the personality of the child and how they respond to potty training. In order to make it impossible for a child to hold poo-poo in, our pediatrician had us mix a little mineral oil in his chocolate milk. It took us about a week or so to get the dosing right (started off with 1 teaspoon and ended up giveing 2 TSP's a day for about 2 weeks and then backed off to 1 tsp daily. It made his poo-poo so slick he couldn't hold it in. This combined with regular times on the toilet broke him of trying to hold the poo-poo in. He would previously hold his poo-poo so long that it was almost impossible to pass without extreme pain. We now mix flax seed oil with his milk because it is good for him, but it also keeps him very regular.

This is what we did with our second son when he decided to start withholding during potty training. We stopped all training for one week while he got back to normal pooping. Then we went right back to the potty training with the help of the mineral oil to keep things easy for him. Within 1 week he was trained. He still had occasional accidents, but we were just consistently firm about it.

We did wean him off the mineral oil about a week after he was totally trained. I didn't want him to become dependent on it.

 

[karapp75]

My DS is 4 1/2 and still asks for a pull up to poop in. In fact we just started putting him in undierwear full time a few mos ago and after having many poop accidents we talked to him and told him he doesn't have to poop on the potty but he does have to ask for a pull up -which he happily does. I read somewhere that after we have this down then move him into the bathroom with the pull up on, after that goes well have him sit on the potty with the pull up on and then next step is to start cutting small holes in the pull up and make them larger as time goes on so they are eventually pooping in the potty. I may not get this far as I hope our DS will get there on his own first. I just don't want to stress him out and I really am proud of his efforts.

 

[J3nn78]

What about going to the toy store and letting her pick out a special toy. THen when you get home let her play with it for a few minutes. THen take it away and tell her it is her special toy that she can play with any time she makes poop on the potty.

It worked great for my son and he was pooped trained within 2 days. He pooped on the potty the day after we got it. He yelled, "Mommy! I did it! I can play with my poop toy now!" He was so proud of himself. After I knew he was fully trained, he got to play with the toy anytime just like his other toys.